7/29/06
CLAWS- The Movie
Tri-O's
oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
These past two weeks have given us a lot of heavy news……. war in Israel and Lebanon, continued death tolls in Iraq, tsunami in Indonesia, floods up north, wildfires in the west, record breaking heat in the continental U.S.. For a few moments let’s consider a lighter aspect of what is going on around here. Let’s go to a movie.
If you listen carefully at first you can almost detect the faint thumping bass. Yes, the sounds are getting more distinct as the bikini clad silhouette comes into focus. Soon their throbbing rhythm becomes ominous as the greenish brown object gradually fills the screen and the bikini babe begins to look like bait as she is viewed between the big open claw of the giant lobster. Fade screen to black and then red. We’re watching the next summer big hit, “CLAWS“. Maybe even directed by Steven Spielberg. But wait…..it may not be a movie based on fiction but a documentary based on fact (albeit science-fiction at this point) if the Lobster Liberation Front (LLF) has its way.
They claim when you put the live lobsters into a pot of boiling water they (the lobsters) feel pain and therefore it is inhumane. The LLF may want a law such as in Reggio, Italy where boiling lobsters alive is illegal and offenders can be fined up to $600. Some chefs here do dispatch the creatures to the great seaweed in the sky prior to dunking them in the boiling brine.
The LLF wants to return all the captured lobsters now residing in all those tanks in restaurants and supermarkets back to the ocean (sans rubber bands binding their claws) and then leave them alone.
Carrying forward Darwin’s theory of survival of the fittest and natural selection over many lobster generations, and perhaps a mutation or two, our denizen of the deep might then indeed have evolved into this killer crustacean we may see on the screen. Ouch!
Let’s go back to the pain factor: in Norway scientists investigated pain, discomfort and stress in invertebrates (including crabs and live worms on a fish hook) and state that the answer is NO (let’s hope this is not like the “painless dentist” joke). None of these creatures feel a thing, they say. Which is good news for Norwegian fishermen because Norway's fishing industry is large and, needless to say, influential. The small Norwegian lobster is the third most valuable commercial species in the North Sea. One wonders if there could have been a hint of bias, but we will never know.
They go on to state “crabs and lobsters have only about 100,000 neurons, compared with 100 billion in people and other vertebrates (ever wonder who counted them?-italics, mine). While this allows them to react to threatening stimuli, there is no evidence they feel pain.”
Another study at the University of Wyoming, conducted on questions of neurology for almost 30 years, concluded “that awareness of pain depends on functions of specific regions of the cerebral which fish do not possess.” In other words their brains are not developed enough to allow them to feel pain or sense fear. But if you were Shirley MacLaine and believed you were to be re-incarnated I’ll bet your choice would not be to come back as a lobster or a trout.
What’s a former lover of lobster, who is now a member of the LLF to do? How about mock lobster? Its main ingredients are potatoes, corn, green peas, and flour.
I don’t know but it all sounds fishy to me and I’d still rather the real thing as I say “Please pass the drawn butter.”
*********************************************************************
UPDATE: From Tri-O’s 1/18/06 ““Riverwalk Orange Beach” should rethink its name. It’s acronym sounds suspect.”
Press Release 6/30/06- “Riverwalk in Orange Beach has been renamed Bama Bayou, developers of the project on the Intracoastal Waterway announced Thursday”
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Friday, July 14, 2006
7/12/06
From : ) to : (
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
Who would have thunk it ? As you read this a battle is being waged whose outcome will be ruled on in the next few months by the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. The widely recognized smiley face in the Wal-Mart ads may be in jeopardy. What will the sons of Sam do? They are being challenged by a French family who claims that they originated the face made of punctuation marks in 1971.
However the person who first conceived the smiley face is acknowledged to be
Harvey R. Ball. In 1963, it was he who devised the smiley yellow button for a Massachusetts company, State Mutual Life Assurance Company . For this Mr. Ball, a graphic artist, was paid $45. He never trademarked it. ( Sorry to disappoint all the Forrest Gump fans who thought Forrest did this by a fortuitous wiping of his dirty face on a yellow t-shirt.). It seems that under the U.S. trademark system the first to register a trademark is not as important in the ownership as is the first enterprise who utilizes and takes full advantage of the symbol. This legal tug-of-war continues as Wal-Mart contends that the icon is public domain and has given it wide retail exposure since 1996. So let the grins fall where they may as we hold our breath to see who comes up smiling.
The above got me to thinking how various personalities might have commented on this smiley face saga. Let’s make some conjectures (with apologies to all):
William Shakespeare: “To smile, or not to smile: that is the question:Whether 'tis nobler in the store to suffer the slings and mask of Zorro, or to take arms against a sea of Jacques Chiracs, and by opposing end them. To chance to vanish , to be erased; aye, there's the rub.”Herman Melville: "Call me Ish-smiley, for I too will cling to the leviathan called pop-culture. ”
Charles Dickens: "It was the best of smiles, it was the worst of smiles, it was the age of hip, it was the age of hop, it was the epoch of bling-bling , it was the epoch of phat, but was it the time to pay the piper?“
Margaret Mitchell: "Goldie O'Hara was not beautiful, but men seldom realized it when caught by her infectious wide sunny smile.“
J. D. Salinger: "If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is, where I was drawn, and what my lousy design was like, and all that Mickey Mouse kind of crap, but I won’t.”
Ernest Hemingway: “ Maybe the French got there first. But for whom does the bell toll when frowny face needs the oval and the “C” for a mouth? You’ll know soon enough, brother.”
James Michener: “Smiley was conceived from the tip of a rod of Chinese graphite embedded in the core of a #2 cadmium colored pencil honed from the over fifty year old red cedar tree grown in north Alabama.”
Stephen King: “ When he looked in the mirror all he saw were the period eyes. Where was the close parentheses mouth? Then the misty cloud began seeping in from beneath the French door.”
Bill Clinton: (chuckle) “ It depends on who’s smiling.”
Al Gore to W: “ See that smiley face slithering down the table-top like Dali’s melting watch? Tell me that’s not the effect of global warming.” W: “Heck of a story Aley boy, but you know that it was caused by Iraqi ‘new-cue-lar’ [sic] WMD.”
Will Rogers: “Ownership makes no never mind, I never met a smile I didn’t like.”
Jesse Jackson: “ Whoa, whoa, this is not legal until the rainbow smiley face is represented”
Martin Luther King Jr.: ” I dreamed you judged smiley by the content of his circle rather that the context of his ink color or origin.”
Pat Robertson: “ Smileys are much too happy and self-absorbed. They must be gay.”
Rush Limbaugh: “I hold here, in my formerly nicotine stained fingers (sound of paper rattling ), and with half my brain tied behind my back, the report by the pinko drive by media admitting that John Kerry and the Democrats leaked the smiley face to the French.”
Al Franken: “ Rush Limbaugh is a big half brained idiot who puts on a smiley face every time he takes a blue pill.”
Bill O’Reilly: “ I’ll give you the last word to opine about the other big ‘O’ as long as the pithiness does not spin here. And check my web site to see what’s for sale.”
Bruce Springsteen: “Smiley was born in the U.S.A/ was born in the U.S.A./ they put a pencil in my hand/ sent me off to a foreign land/ to go and draw the yellow brand.”
50 Cent: “Yo Bro/ Smiley face/ no one ‘gonna take your place/ Wal-Mart ‘gotcha ina store/ Frenchie never get no more.”
Paris Hilton: “Smiley who?”
From : ) to : (
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
Who would have thunk it ? As you read this a battle is being waged whose outcome will be ruled on in the next few months by the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. The widely recognized smiley face in the Wal-Mart ads may be in jeopardy. What will the sons of Sam do? They are being challenged by a French family who claims that they originated the face made of punctuation marks in 1971.
However the person who first conceived the smiley face is acknowledged to be
Harvey R. Ball. In 1963, it was he who devised the smiley yellow button for a Massachusetts company, State Mutual Life Assurance Company . For this Mr. Ball, a graphic artist, was paid $45. He never trademarked it. ( Sorry to disappoint all the Forrest Gump fans who thought Forrest did this by a fortuitous wiping of his dirty face on a yellow t-shirt.). It seems that under the U.S. trademark system the first to register a trademark is not as important in the ownership as is the first enterprise who utilizes and takes full advantage of the symbol. This legal tug-of-war continues as Wal-Mart contends that the icon is public domain and has given it wide retail exposure since 1996. So let the grins fall where they may as we hold our breath to see who comes up smiling.
The above got me to thinking how various personalities might have commented on this smiley face saga. Let’s make some conjectures (with apologies to all):
William Shakespeare: “To smile, or not to smile: that is the question:Whether 'tis nobler in the store to suffer the slings and mask of Zorro, or to take arms against a sea of Jacques Chiracs, and by opposing end them. To chance to vanish , to be erased; aye, there's the rub.”Herman Melville: "Call me Ish-smiley, for I too will cling to the leviathan called pop-culture. ”
Charles Dickens: "It was the best of smiles, it was the worst of smiles, it was the age of hip, it was the age of hop, it was the epoch of bling-bling , it was the epoch of phat, but was it the time to pay the piper?“
Margaret Mitchell: "Goldie O'Hara was not beautiful, but men seldom realized it when caught by her infectious wide sunny smile.“
J. D. Salinger: "If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is, where I was drawn, and what my lousy design was like, and all that Mickey Mouse kind of crap, but I won’t.”
Ernest Hemingway: “ Maybe the French got there first. But for whom does the bell toll when frowny face needs the oval and the “C” for a mouth? You’ll know soon enough, brother.”
James Michener: “Smiley was conceived from the tip of a rod of Chinese graphite embedded in the core of a #2 cadmium colored pencil honed from the over fifty year old red cedar tree grown in north Alabama.”
Stephen King: “ When he looked in the mirror all he saw were the period eyes. Where was the close parentheses mouth? Then the misty cloud began seeping in from beneath the French door.”
Bill Clinton: (chuckle) “ It depends on who’s smiling.”
Al Gore to W: “ See that smiley face slithering down the table-top like Dali’s melting watch? Tell me that’s not the effect of global warming.” W: “Heck of a story Aley boy, but you know that it was caused by Iraqi ‘new-cue-lar’ [sic] WMD.”
Will Rogers: “Ownership makes no never mind, I never met a smile I didn’t like.”
Jesse Jackson: “ Whoa, whoa, this is not legal until the rainbow smiley face is represented”
Martin Luther King Jr.: ” I dreamed you judged smiley by the content of his circle rather that the context of his ink color or origin.”
Pat Robertson: “ Smileys are much too happy and self-absorbed. They must be gay.”
Rush Limbaugh: “I hold here, in my formerly nicotine stained fingers (sound of paper rattling ), and with half my brain tied behind my back, the report by the pinko drive by media admitting that John Kerry and the Democrats leaked the smiley face to the French.”
Al Franken: “ Rush Limbaugh is a big half brained idiot who puts on a smiley face every time he takes a blue pill.”
Bill O’Reilly: “ I’ll give you the last word to opine about the other big ‘O’ as long as the pithiness does not spin here. And check my web site to see what’s for sale.”
Bruce Springsteen: “Smiley was born in the U.S.A/ was born in the U.S.A./ they put a pencil in my hand/ sent me off to a foreign land/ to go and draw the yellow brand.”
50 Cent: “Yo Bro/ Smiley face/ no one ‘gonna take your place/ Wal-Mart ‘gotcha ina store/ Frenchie never get no more.”
Paris Hilton: “Smiley who?”
6/28/06
TOP TIPS TO TIPPERS
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
It is not a question that Jesse James might have asked but some may regard it as such.
“Question: How do you respond to the server who, when picking up the money for your meal, asks ‘Do you want your change?’ Saying this before he/she even looks at the sum you have put on the table.” This was posed to me in an e-mail from a reader of the last column wherein I vented a few peeves on experiences dining out.
My response to him was --I think this is extremely presumptuous and tacky to ask, even though they may be trying to save a return trip to your table with the change. I would probably say "Yes, I want the change." You, and not they, determine how much, or even if, you want to leave a tip. A better way for them to get the point across and be diplomatic at the same time would be for them to say " I'll be right back with your change." To which you may respond "OK" or "Keep it."
Being no Mr. Manners on the finer points of tipping etiquette I did a little research on the subject and found that most diners said “Yes” but left a smaller tip than originally planned.
Thus inspired I continued to dig a little deeper to into the tipping topic.
According to the Internal Revenue Service tipping accounted for $26 billion, which they feel is also underreported. That’s a big chunk of change.
Many think that TIP is an acronym for “To Insure Promptness” but acronyms first appeared about 1920. The word “tip” however was used in the 17th century and was used as a verb by thieves to mean "hand it over" or "to give.". A common practice for feudal lords was throwing gold coins as "tips" to the peasants in the street as a sort of bribery for obtaining safe passage (somehow reminds me of today taxis and skycaps).
The history then is ambiguous but what is certain is that people pay additional money for a service for which they've already paid, this done with no prior agreement as to the amount.
Another question arises, does one tip on the sub-total or the sub-total plus the tax? Most, it seems, pay on the total and thereby are tipping on the tax.
15% is the most common amount followed closely by 20%. Some countries frown on the practice, New Zealand, Iceland, Thailand, China, Japan (considered insulting), and Argentina (officially illegal), to name a few.
In Europe tipping varies widely by country, but check the menu to see if service is included. If it isn't, a tip of 5–10 percent is normal .
In a study by Cornell University and the University of Houston found “ Good service and prompt attention do little to guarantee a big tip from restaurant-goers” . It goes on to say, “The findings show that bill size is the single largest predictor of tip size”Yet in a report by Michael Lynn, associate professor of consumer behavior at Cornell University's School of Hotel Administration, and considered “the world's foremost expert on tipping“, he notes several proven ways for the wait staff to inveigle higher tips.
Among them are: touching the customer on the shoulder or arm, squatting to your eye level while taking your order, introducing themselves by name, wearing unusual ornaments or items of clothing, repeating orders back to customers, a big smile and calling customers by name (obtained from your credit card), forecasting good weather, writing “thank you” and their name and a smiley face on the bill, presenting the bill on a tip tray rather than on the table, and a candy along with your bill are all means to a bigger tip.
It seems a happy diner is a more generous one so the more rapport with the guest whose mood is elevated is in direct proportion with the tip size, and size matters.
How about -- tip jars. Most people hate them but they show up from coffee houses to car washes. The etiquette mavens say “No” to any food-service business that does not bring the food to your table and keep your drinks refilled. The same goes for buffet-lines or cafeterias except if there is a person who efficiently clears used plates and keeps your glass full, then a tip of $1-2 given personally is appropriate.
An exception to the tip jar is the car wash where it is split among the workers.
A waiter explained about tipping in restaurants: “Ten percent of your bill – that’s a tip. But 20 percent – ah, 20 percent is a gratuity!”
You can partake in an unscientific poll: What’s your response and reaction when asked “Do you want your change?”.
TOP TIPS TO TIPPERS
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
It is not a question that Jesse James might have asked but some may regard it as such.
“Question: How do you respond to the server who, when picking up the money for your meal, asks ‘Do you want your change?’ Saying this before he/she even looks at the sum you have put on the table.” This was posed to me in an e-mail from a reader of the last column wherein I vented a few peeves on experiences dining out.
My response to him was --I think this is extremely presumptuous and tacky to ask, even though they may be trying to save a return trip to your table with the change. I would probably say "Yes, I want the change." You, and not they, determine how much, or even if, you want to leave a tip. A better way for them to get the point across and be diplomatic at the same time would be for them to say " I'll be right back with your change." To which you may respond "OK" or "Keep it."
Being no Mr. Manners on the finer points of tipping etiquette I did a little research on the subject and found that most diners said “Yes” but left a smaller tip than originally planned.
Thus inspired I continued to dig a little deeper to into the tipping topic.
According to the Internal Revenue Service tipping accounted for $26 billion, which they feel is also underreported. That’s a big chunk of change.
Many think that TIP is an acronym for “To Insure Promptness” but acronyms first appeared about 1920. The word “tip” however was used in the 17th century and was used as a verb by thieves to mean "hand it over" or "to give.". A common practice for feudal lords was throwing gold coins as "tips" to the peasants in the street as a sort of bribery for obtaining safe passage (somehow reminds me of today taxis and skycaps).
The history then is ambiguous but what is certain is that people pay additional money for a service for which they've already paid, this done with no prior agreement as to the amount.
Another question arises, does one tip on the sub-total or the sub-total plus the tax? Most, it seems, pay on the total and thereby are tipping on the tax.
15% is the most common amount followed closely by 20%. Some countries frown on the practice, New Zealand, Iceland, Thailand, China, Japan (considered insulting), and Argentina (officially illegal), to name a few.
In Europe tipping varies widely by country, but check the menu to see if service is included. If it isn't, a tip of 5–10 percent is normal .
In a study by Cornell University and the University of Houston found “ Good service and prompt attention do little to guarantee a big tip from restaurant-goers” . It goes on to say, “The findings show that bill size is the single largest predictor of tip size”Yet in a report by Michael Lynn, associate professor of consumer behavior at Cornell University's School of Hotel Administration, and considered “the world's foremost expert on tipping“, he notes several proven ways for the wait staff to inveigle higher tips.
Among them are: touching the customer on the shoulder or arm, squatting to your eye level while taking your order, introducing themselves by name, wearing unusual ornaments or items of clothing, repeating orders back to customers, a big smile and calling customers by name (obtained from your credit card), forecasting good weather, writing “thank you” and their name and a smiley face on the bill, presenting the bill on a tip tray rather than on the table, and a candy along with your bill are all means to a bigger tip.
It seems a happy diner is a more generous one so the more rapport with the guest whose mood is elevated is in direct proportion with the tip size, and size matters.
How about -- tip jars. Most people hate them but they show up from coffee houses to car washes. The etiquette mavens say “No” to any food-service business that does not bring the food to your table and keep your drinks refilled. The same goes for buffet-lines or cafeterias except if there is a person who efficiently clears used plates and keeps your glass full, then a tip of $1-2 given personally is appropriate.
An exception to the tip jar is the car wash where it is split among the workers.
A waiter explained about tipping in restaurants: “Ten percent of your bill – that’s a tip. But 20 percent – ah, 20 percent is a gratuity!”
You can partake in an unscientific poll: What’s your response and reaction when asked “Do you want your change?”.
6/14/06
Bon Appétit ---Maybe
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
You know you’re not using the oven or kitchen pantry to its fullest when your spouse is contemplating using it to store shoes which seem to be multiplying in the closet . As mentioned in a previous column, my wife (we refer to her lovingly as “Imelda“) and I eat out often. We have frequented most of the restaurants in the area, from the four star to the fast food. Having the background of, too many years to count, sampling New Orleans gastronomy we know that we can be just as sated munching on a well made roast beef po’ boy as with a beef Wellington (well, almost) and enjoy the experience. What adds to dining pleasure sometimes is not only the food quality, preparation, and presentation but small touches the absence of which deters from an otherwise satisfying or perhaps memorable meal.
Let’s start at the door. There to greet you is usually a young woman. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not opposed to this, but in my old profession as headhunter we always advised the applicant, going on an interview, that you have only five seconds to create that all important First Impression. The hostess position is most times the entry level into the business. Have you ever been kept waiting for a table when you see empty ones that were set for a four party but you were only two? Were you ever seated by a table near the swinging kitchen or restroom door when others more desirable areas were available, but this was a more convenient station for the server? The better run restaurants have a knowledgeable person as greeter. This person should make you feel like the paying VIP you are and set the tone for the rest of the time there.
“ Hello, my name is Quasimodo and I’ll be your server tonight. What can I get you to drink?” is the standard opening of your server. Than Quassi may tell you of the special not on the menu. It would be nice if they also told you the price without having to ask. If you are dining with others in the party, does Quassi ask if there are to be separate checks or will there be a bookkeeping 101 session when the check is presented?
Those eating places which have a big slate blackboard as their menu should have doing it the person with handwriting that is large and legible, preferably in upper case printing as opposed to cursive. Calligraphy is not appreciated when hunger pangs are knocking. It should also be visible for all patrons without use of a periscope.
Call me crazy but I find it difficult reading a menu with a small or fancy font with only a votive candle as a light source. (I carry a small flashlight the size of a dime on my key holder).
Then there is the butter patty that is rock hard and tears the bread when you go to spread it. I prefer the butter that comes in a small crock that spreads easily and evenly.
Did you ever try to have a quiet conversation and were not permitted to do so? Why does the noise in some establishments approach the decibel level of a 747 ? Voices and other clattering reverberate to the point of you almost having to shout to the person next to you in order to be heard. This jangling does no good for the digestion. A lot of the hard surfaces causing this could be softened by drapes, chair covers, carpeting or other professional acoustic absorbers or management can offer a class on signing.
A long time ago Ernie Masson, a renowned New Orleans restauranteur, told me that half the secret of satisfying diners was in getting the meal in front of the customer while it was hot. I have sent back many a plate because it was presented cool. Here is where the “sizzle” sells and the coordination of the kitchen and serving staff is essential. I’m not talking about scalding hot but the food temperature should be appropriate to the dish. In some steak houses you can hear the food approaching in its bubbling juices before you see it which adds to the anticipation of a grand dinner.
All our senses play a part in participating in one of life’s greatest pleasures and as we traipse from table to table seeking gastronomic nirvana as a holy grail I am somehow
led back to the original premise of our kitchen morphing into closet. I think that the stomach will prevail over the feet. Yet we will never be mistaken for Roy Rogers and Dale Evans, i.e., being at home on the range.
Bon Appétit ---Maybe
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
You know you’re not using the oven or kitchen pantry to its fullest when your spouse is contemplating using it to store shoes which seem to be multiplying in the closet . As mentioned in a previous column, my wife (we refer to her lovingly as “Imelda“) and I eat out often. We have frequented most of the restaurants in the area, from the four star to the fast food. Having the background of, too many years to count, sampling New Orleans gastronomy we know that we can be just as sated munching on a well made roast beef po’ boy as with a beef Wellington (well, almost) and enjoy the experience. What adds to dining pleasure sometimes is not only the food quality, preparation, and presentation but small touches the absence of which deters from an otherwise satisfying or perhaps memorable meal.
Let’s start at the door. There to greet you is usually a young woman. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not opposed to this, but in my old profession as headhunter we always advised the applicant, going on an interview, that you have only five seconds to create that all important First Impression. The hostess position is most times the entry level into the business. Have you ever been kept waiting for a table when you see empty ones that were set for a four party but you were only two? Were you ever seated by a table near the swinging kitchen or restroom door when others more desirable areas were available, but this was a more convenient station for the server? The better run restaurants have a knowledgeable person as greeter. This person should make you feel like the paying VIP you are and set the tone for the rest of the time there.
“ Hello, my name is Quasimodo and I’ll be your server tonight. What can I get you to drink?” is the standard opening of your server. Than Quassi may tell you of the special not on the menu. It would be nice if they also told you the price without having to ask. If you are dining with others in the party, does Quassi ask if there are to be separate checks or will there be a bookkeeping 101 session when the check is presented?
Those eating places which have a big slate blackboard as their menu should have doing it the person with handwriting that is large and legible, preferably in upper case printing as opposed to cursive. Calligraphy is not appreciated when hunger pangs are knocking. It should also be visible for all patrons without use of a periscope.
Call me crazy but I find it difficult reading a menu with a small or fancy font with only a votive candle as a light source. (I carry a small flashlight the size of a dime on my key holder).
Then there is the butter patty that is rock hard and tears the bread when you go to spread it. I prefer the butter that comes in a small crock that spreads easily and evenly.
Did you ever try to have a quiet conversation and were not permitted to do so? Why does the noise in some establishments approach the decibel level of a 747 ? Voices and other clattering reverberate to the point of you almost having to shout to the person next to you in order to be heard. This jangling does no good for the digestion. A lot of the hard surfaces causing this could be softened by drapes, chair covers, carpeting or other professional acoustic absorbers or management can offer a class on signing.
A long time ago Ernie Masson, a renowned New Orleans restauranteur, told me that half the secret of satisfying diners was in getting the meal in front of the customer while it was hot. I have sent back many a plate because it was presented cool. Here is where the “sizzle” sells and the coordination of the kitchen and serving staff is essential. I’m not talking about scalding hot but the food temperature should be appropriate to the dish. In some steak houses you can hear the food approaching in its bubbling juices before you see it which adds to the anticipation of a grand dinner.
All our senses play a part in participating in one of life’s greatest pleasures and as we traipse from table to table seeking gastronomic nirvana as a holy grail I am somehow
led back to the original premise of our kitchen morphing into closet. I think that the stomach will prevail over the feet. Yet we will never be mistaken for Roy Rogers and Dale Evans, i.e., being at home on the range.
6/3/06
Flip The Tassel, YOSOHK Grads
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
Well here we are at that time of year when wisdom, admonition, advice, and soon forgotten wit, spring forth from podiums in schools across the nation during commencement exercises. Some are more notable than others. For instance when the former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom Winston Churchill gave the world the term "iron curtain". What became known as The Marshall Plan to save Europe was first unveiled at Harvard by Secretary of State George Marshall. President Kennedy in 1963 used a commencement to extend the idea to Russia of a nuclear test ban. Now, Class of 2006, no promise of such memorable substance will be forthcoming here.
For this, the Class of 2006, born most likely in the Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, or Ford administrations the time has come to venture forth and display your hard won diploma. For years you sat on the cusp of the entrance to this world of conventional wisdom. For many the transition was easy for others it took a little more effort. To quote the sage Joan Rivers, “Come on, grow up!”
This beloved institution, Ye Olde School of Hard Knocks (YOSOHK), has a long and distinguished history steeped in traditions. As you know, the student body can be any age but when you have reached about 40 you most probably have been matriculated. Life’s experiences qualify you for credits toward your degree, You have worked several jobs and have been laid off, fired, or quit at least one of them. If you are lucky you like what you do every day, if not, it’s not too late to think about starting something new. Colonel Sanders was no spring chicken when he started his business at 65. On average you’ve plied your profession, worked at your trade, paid your taxes, are raising your kids, and made some compromises along the way. All of that counts as lab and homework along with tuition payment at YOSOHK.
Some say that insanity is defined as performing the same task over and over again and expecting different results. The opposite saying “ If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again” was given a realistic twist by W.C. Fields when he said, “If at first you don’t succeed , try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.” (which if you think about it, is the same as the first definition).
So, dear graduates, you’ve learned from your parenting that taking the ball away from little Johnny is far more effective a lesson for the child than your continual pleading to him, “Would you stop bouncing that @#%* ball. You’re driving me crazy.” Your taking control of the situation is another course mastered at YOSOHK.
Many years ago, at my daughter’s graduation, the speaker told the graduating class to look around and savor the moment because never again were they to be all together as a group sharing the same experience. And it reminded me of a line in “Our Town” by Thornton Wilder in which the deceased Emily is granted her wish to revisit an event in her past life and after which she says, “I can’t go on. It goes so fast. We don’t have time to look at one another ”. So, students of Life, we should have gleaned from experiencing family functions, dysfunctional or otherwise, to appreciate one another and perhaps to really “take a look” . Another lesson learned from YOSOHK.
Now, Class of 2006, you earned your degree as you : learned it’s wise to use your seat belt , read labels on food packages, know what a 401k is, not respond to e-mails from Nigeria, stay away from people wearing raincoats on sunny June days, know the Beatles are the classics of Rock, realize that even Michael Jordan knew when to call it quits, watched Darth Vader grow younger, seen how an intern almost caused an out turn, witnessed planes morphing into missiles, and experienced the resurgence of patriotism.
I wish you success on your continued journey through life’s highway and leave you with a thought from Steven Wright , “Remember, half the people you know are below average.”and from me, “Remember to floss.”
Congratulations.
Flip The Tassel, YOSOHK Grads
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
Well here we are at that time of year when wisdom, admonition, advice, and soon forgotten wit, spring forth from podiums in schools across the nation during commencement exercises. Some are more notable than others. For instance when the former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom Winston Churchill gave the world the term "iron curtain". What became known as The Marshall Plan to save Europe was first unveiled at Harvard by Secretary of State George Marshall. President Kennedy in 1963 used a commencement to extend the idea to Russia of a nuclear test ban. Now, Class of 2006, no promise of such memorable substance will be forthcoming here.
For this, the Class of 2006, born most likely in the Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, or Ford administrations the time has come to venture forth and display your hard won diploma. For years you sat on the cusp of the entrance to this world of conventional wisdom. For many the transition was easy for others it took a little more effort. To quote the sage Joan Rivers, “Come on, grow up!”
This beloved institution, Ye Olde School of Hard Knocks (YOSOHK), has a long and distinguished history steeped in traditions. As you know, the student body can be any age but when you have reached about 40 you most probably have been matriculated. Life’s experiences qualify you for credits toward your degree, You have worked several jobs and have been laid off, fired, or quit at least one of them. If you are lucky you like what you do every day, if not, it’s not too late to think about starting something new. Colonel Sanders was no spring chicken when he started his business at 65. On average you’ve plied your profession, worked at your trade, paid your taxes, are raising your kids, and made some compromises along the way. All of that counts as lab and homework along with tuition payment at YOSOHK.
Some say that insanity is defined as performing the same task over and over again and expecting different results. The opposite saying “ If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again” was given a realistic twist by W.C. Fields when he said, “If at first you don’t succeed , try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.” (which if you think about it, is the same as the first definition).
So, dear graduates, you’ve learned from your parenting that taking the ball away from little Johnny is far more effective a lesson for the child than your continual pleading to him, “Would you stop bouncing that @#%* ball. You’re driving me crazy.” Your taking control of the situation is another course mastered at YOSOHK.
Many years ago, at my daughter’s graduation, the speaker told the graduating class to look around and savor the moment because never again were they to be all together as a group sharing the same experience. And it reminded me of a line in “Our Town” by Thornton Wilder in which the deceased Emily is granted her wish to revisit an event in her past life and after which she says, “I can’t go on. It goes so fast. We don’t have time to look at one another ”. So, students of Life, we should have gleaned from experiencing family functions, dysfunctional or otherwise, to appreciate one another and perhaps to really “take a look” . Another lesson learned from YOSOHK.
Now, Class of 2006, you earned your degree as you : learned it’s wise to use your seat belt , read labels on food packages, know what a 401k is, not respond to e-mails from Nigeria, stay away from people wearing raincoats on sunny June days, know the Beatles are the classics of Rock, realize that even Michael Jordan knew when to call it quits, watched Darth Vader grow younger, seen how an intern almost caused an out turn, witnessed planes morphing into missiles, and experienced the resurgence of patriotism.
I wish you success on your continued journey through life’s highway and leave you with a thought from Steven Wright , “Remember, half the people you know are below average.”and from me, “Remember to floss.”
Congratulations.
5/20/06
Are bells ringing for me and my gov.?
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
The plan was to call the restaurant from my cell phone when I was about 15 minutes from there and order the take out meal. Since my wife is not the “Domestic Goddess” of the oven we tend to eat out and take out more often than the average couple, except when the urge overcomes me and the salmon or pasta dish graces our kitchen table. About the time to make the call I pulled over in a strip mall parking lot only to be told by a beep and curt message that my battery was too low to transmit. Lucky for me there was a pay phone (which are getting scarce) on the lot. The slot swallowed the 50 cents (what ever happened to ‘drop a dime‘?) and I placed my order. Having done this numerous times no menu was needed. While placing the order there were strange sounds of clattering, clicking, and ringing. When I hung up I wondered if my call had been tapped because I was calling an ethnic restaurant and who knew if what I ordered was not code for a nefarious plot. Could those noises have come from the kitchen, a faulty connection, or from that nearby van with a dish like antenna on the roof? The current news concerning telephone interceptions gives one pause to think how our world has changed.
Did I mind that someone may have been listening in? Yes and no (strike a blow for equivocation). No, as I know that my call was innocent, and I hope they do find anyone intending to do harm. Yes, as my privacy was invaded.
I keep recalling the line from the movie “A Few Good Men” when Jack Nicholson says, “You can't handle the truth.” On the level of morality the question remains: what are limits to our civil liberties and how far does the rule of law extend? I hope that minds far greater than mine discern the ethical difference of this delicate balancing act.
On the subject of security and privacy we are all subject to being “wanded” or walking through the magnetic portals at airports, courtrooms, government buildings, and even schools. They, of course, are intended to detects pistols, knives, box cutters, foil-wrapped drugs and similar items. A belt buckle, key chain, and steel toed shoes may set off these sensitive detectors also. So will commonly used orthopedic hip and knee implant materials which include stainless steel, cobalt chrome, and titanium. We have not done any air travel of late but I’m sure if I passed through the passageway today the chimes would sound like the “Grand March” from Aida as a response to numerous silver fillings and bionic hips.
Other detections may prove less than conspiratorial but more embarrassing. Several years ago a 40’ish British woman at the Athens airport set off the walk through magnetometer alarm. The security staff found, to their probable surprise, that what gave the alarm was the stainless steel chastity belt she was wearing. She explained her husband had forced her to wear it to make sure she had no romantic flings during her Christmas visit to Greece. After, what I imagine to have been a careful deliberation of the situation by the security authorities, they allowed her to fly back to London “on the pilot’s responsibility”
Which leaves two questions: One, how did she get by the London security, if she had flown in? Two, was the belt removed and confiscated if it was on the banned item list? And if it had, as a corollary, what interesting stories that locksmith could have told..
There are other personal items that would set off the walk through alarm and require additional screening including a hand-wanding and a pat-down inspection that includes the torso. For instance heavy jewelry, body piercing, metal buttons and snaps, metal hair barrettes, and under-wire bras. Screeners may also stop you if you have boots, platform shoes, or shoes with thick sole or heel.
After numerous complaints to the Transportation Security Administration that the pat-down procedures are embarrassing and invasive because they involve screeners touching people near sensitive body areas, the agency modified its pat-down procedures thoughtfully allowing women to place their arms at their sides instead of holding them out.
Random searches can happen also. There was an instance recalled by a middle aged woman selected for one, as she was going to have her back patted down the considerate security guard told her he would only use the back of his hand.
Manufacturers and retailers are recognizing the problems of the miffed traveler and are offering products which will safely bypass the scrutiny of the metal detectors. There are shoes and some bras designed for that purpose. With tags that look like passports Florsheim identifies the styles "airport friendly" inside the shoebox while the U.S. bra manufacturers tried a version of a "Frequent Flyer Bra" but say plastic underwires don't offer the same support so they produce very little. So it seems most women would rather ring those bells than be let down.
Are bells ringing for me and my gov.?
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
The plan was to call the restaurant from my cell phone when I was about 15 minutes from there and order the take out meal. Since my wife is not the “Domestic Goddess” of the oven we tend to eat out and take out more often than the average couple, except when the urge overcomes me and the salmon or pasta dish graces our kitchen table. About the time to make the call I pulled over in a strip mall parking lot only to be told by a beep and curt message that my battery was too low to transmit. Lucky for me there was a pay phone (which are getting scarce) on the lot. The slot swallowed the 50 cents (what ever happened to ‘drop a dime‘?) and I placed my order. Having done this numerous times no menu was needed. While placing the order there were strange sounds of clattering, clicking, and ringing. When I hung up I wondered if my call had been tapped because I was calling an ethnic restaurant and who knew if what I ordered was not code for a nefarious plot. Could those noises have come from the kitchen, a faulty connection, or from that nearby van with a dish like antenna on the roof? The current news concerning telephone interceptions gives one pause to think how our world has changed.
Did I mind that someone may have been listening in? Yes and no (strike a blow for equivocation). No, as I know that my call was innocent, and I hope they do find anyone intending to do harm. Yes, as my privacy was invaded.
I keep recalling the line from the movie “A Few Good Men” when Jack Nicholson says, “You can't handle the truth.” On the level of morality the question remains: what are limits to our civil liberties and how far does the rule of law extend? I hope that minds far greater than mine discern the ethical difference of this delicate balancing act.
On the subject of security and privacy we are all subject to being “wanded” or walking through the magnetic portals at airports, courtrooms, government buildings, and even schools. They, of course, are intended to detects pistols, knives, box cutters, foil-wrapped drugs and similar items. A belt buckle, key chain, and steel toed shoes may set off these sensitive detectors also. So will commonly used orthopedic hip and knee implant materials which include stainless steel, cobalt chrome, and titanium. We have not done any air travel of late but I’m sure if I passed through the passageway today the chimes would sound like the “Grand March” from Aida as a response to numerous silver fillings and bionic hips.
Other detections may prove less than conspiratorial but more embarrassing. Several years ago a 40’ish British woman at the Athens airport set off the walk through magnetometer alarm. The security staff found, to their probable surprise, that what gave the alarm was the stainless steel chastity belt she was wearing. She explained her husband had forced her to wear it to make sure she had no romantic flings during her Christmas visit to Greece. After, what I imagine to have been a careful deliberation of the situation by the security authorities, they allowed her to fly back to London “on the pilot’s responsibility”
Which leaves two questions: One, how did she get by the London security, if she had flown in? Two, was the belt removed and confiscated if it was on the banned item list? And if it had, as a corollary, what interesting stories that locksmith could have told..
There are other personal items that would set off the walk through alarm and require additional screening including a hand-wanding and a pat-down inspection that includes the torso. For instance heavy jewelry, body piercing, metal buttons and snaps, metal hair barrettes, and under-wire bras. Screeners may also stop you if you have boots, platform shoes, or shoes with thick sole or heel.
After numerous complaints to the Transportation Security Administration that the pat-down procedures are embarrassing and invasive because they involve screeners touching people near sensitive body areas, the agency modified its pat-down procedures thoughtfully allowing women to place their arms at their sides instead of holding them out.
Random searches can happen also. There was an instance recalled by a middle aged woman selected for one, as she was going to have her back patted down the considerate security guard told her he would only use the back of his hand.
Manufacturers and retailers are recognizing the problems of the miffed traveler and are offering products which will safely bypass the scrutiny of the metal detectors. There are shoes and some bras designed for that purpose. With tags that look like passports Florsheim identifies the styles "airport friendly" inside the shoebox while the U.S. bra manufacturers tried a version of a "Frequent Flyer Bra" but say plastic underwires don't offer the same support so they produce very little. So it seems most women would rather ring those bells than be let down.
5/3/06
Attention shoppers: Appendectomy on Aisle 2
TRi-O's
oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
“Honey, I don't feel well. I may have come down with the flu. I'm going to get a checkup and see what I can take to help.”
“Where are you going to?“, Honey asks.
“To Target, of course.”
Yes, it’s true and that scene can be happening if you live near Baltimore. More and more retail stores are now offering quick health care for patients with many common illnesses: allergies; infections of bladder, ear, or sinus; influenza; and strep throat. Not only Target but drugstores like CVS and Walgreens have clinics in cities such as Atlanta, Orlando, Nashville (among others) and so does, surprise, Wal-Mart in Oklahoma. Best Buy has been testing the system in Minneapolis. These are walk-in/no appointment necessary clinics that typically charge anywhere from $28 to $110, not including medication costs. They are staffed by nurse practitioners who diagnose, treat and prescribe medications. They may also provide health screenings, medical tests , vaccinations, immunizations, physicals, and counseling. Those who are ailing with more serious or complex conditions are referred to local physicians.
Why this sudden interest in providing healthcare along with electronics and everyday merchandise? Two words……..Baby Boomers. A tsunami of an estimated 77 million are on the crest of the wave and headed for healthcare services, medical equipment, and prescription counters. The increased store traffic for the clinics helps sales of other items both related to health care and for non-related products such as food/household staples and impulse purchases.
What’s a trained professional service provider to do?
Let’s think and consider ……..what if those in the professional arenas would take a page out of the retail play book and started offering competing retail products along with their services? What’s good for the goose is good for the gaggle of ganders so let’s turn the table and see how various professions just might counter this big box store invasion into their realms of expertise.
You need some lamps or light bulbs? Who better to advise you than an Ophthalmologist . The office may also have some coordinating drapes, other window treatment, or carpeting to enhance your room décor in perfect harmony.
Your Allergist or Dermatologist will help keep you away from products that may irritate your skin and sinuses …..and by the way may have a special on some washer/dryers. Air purifiers, and air conditioner units (don't forget the filters).
Visit your Gastroenterologist and you will go home with epicurean delights that may be frozen or ready to serve and guaranteed not upset your stomach. And if you are having a party, no problem - their catering service is there to assist at birthdays or soirées.
New baby? Get your approved crib, formula, and diapers from your Obstetric/Gynecology or Pediatrician . Check out the cute layettes, strollers, and baby safe toys also in the KidKare-R-Us department.
Pamper yourself with a pedicure, as you shop for shoes, socks, sneakers, pantyhose, and toe nail polish, when you see the Podiatrist (who also has the Nike franchise).
Exercise bike, roller blades, boogie board, bathing suit, or sweat pants and nutrients? Who better to guide you than your Orthopaedist who can also fit the bicycle helmet and other related sports safety equipment.
Your Psychiatrist or mental health practitioner has shelves of self-help books, tapes, DVDs, along with a complete line of punching bags, huggy bears, couches and recliners.
Remember to visit the Cardiologist before Valentine’s Day to stock up on those Bon-Bons (Lite), cards, and FTD ( For Those Defibrillated) flowers, And don't bypass those heart healthy organic fruits and vegetables that are stocked daily.
See your accountant when you need a waste basket, craft paper, or White-out as well as for depreciable items for you business such as desks, file cabinets, and cubicles.
Your dentist can provide you with not only with the usual oral supplies but the staff will gladly take portraits of all those pretty smiles and provide facials and makeovers for those interested.
At your attorney’s office look at that surveillance camera, to check on the nanny or guard your house, they may be on special. While there you can examine all the new digital cameras and plasma TV’s along with stocking up with batteries, film, or memory cards. For those wanting to check on a suspected wandering spouse, ask about the 40X tele-photo lenses.
Who’s to say that the above scenarios are merely whimsical.? Remember when there were “Blue Laws” and all stores were closed on Sunday? Remember when there was an ethical ban on the legal and medical professions against advertising? Remember when segregation was an accepted norm?
So you see there are ways to answer the Goliath’s of the world. The question is who will be the David to sling the first stone?
END
Attention shoppers: Appendectomy on Aisle 2
TRi-O's
oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
“Honey, I don't feel well. I may have come down with the flu. I'm going to get a checkup and see what I can take to help.”
“Where are you going to?“, Honey asks.
“To Target, of course.”
Yes, it’s true and that scene can be happening if you live near Baltimore. More and more retail stores are now offering quick health care for patients with many common illnesses: allergies; infections of bladder, ear, or sinus; influenza; and strep throat. Not only Target but drugstores like CVS and Walgreens have clinics in cities such as Atlanta, Orlando, Nashville (among others) and so does, surprise, Wal-Mart in Oklahoma. Best Buy has been testing the system in Minneapolis. These are walk-in/no appointment necessary clinics that typically charge anywhere from $28 to $110, not including medication costs. They are staffed by nurse practitioners who diagnose, treat and prescribe medications. They may also provide health screenings, medical tests , vaccinations, immunizations, physicals, and counseling. Those who are ailing with more serious or complex conditions are referred to local physicians.
Why this sudden interest in providing healthcare along with electronics and everyday merchandise? Two words……..Baby Boomers. A tsunami of an estimated 77 million are on the crest of the wave and headed for healthcare services, medical equipment, and prescription counters. The increased store traffic for the clinics helps sales of other items both related to health care and for non-related products such as food/household staples and impulse purchases.
What’s a trained professional service provider to do?
Let’s think and consider ……..what if those in the professional arenas would take a page out of the retail play book and started offering competing retail products along with their services? What’s good for the goose is good for the gaggle of ganders so let’s turn the table and see how various professions just might counter this big box store invasion into their realms of expertise.
You need some lamps or light bulbs? Who better to advise you than an Ophthalmologist . The office may also have some coordinating drapes, other window treatment, or carpeting to enhance your room décor in perfect harmony.
Your Allergist or Dermatologist will help keep you away from products that may irritate your skin and sinuses …..and by the way may have a special on some washer/dryers. Air purifiers, and air conditioner units (don't forget the filters).
Visit your Gastroenterologist and you will go home with epicurean delights that may be frozen or ready to serve and guaranteed not upset your stomach. And if you are having a party, no problem - their catering service is there to assist at birthdays or soirées.
New baby? Get your approved crib, formula, and diapers from your Obstetric/Gynecology or Pediatrician . Check out the cute layettes, strollers, and baby safe toys also in the KidKare-R-Us department.
Pamper yourself with a pedicure, as you shop for shoes, socks, sneakers, pantyhose, and toe nail polish, when you see the Podiatrist (who also has the Nike franchise).
Exercise bike, roller blades, boogie board, bathing suit, or sweat pants and nutrients? Who better to guide you than your Orthopaedist who can also fit the bicycle helmet and other related sports safety equipment.
Your Psychiatrist or mental health practitioner has shelves of self-help books, tapes, DVDs, along with a complete line of punching bags, huggy bears, couches and recliners.
Remember to visit the Cardiologist before Valentine’s Day to stock up on those Bon-Bons (Lite), cards, and FTD ( For Those Defibrillated) flowers, And don't bypass those heart healthy organic fruits and vegetables that are stocked daily.
See your accountant when you need a waste basket, craft paper, or White-out as well as for depreciable items for you business such as desks, file cabinets, and cubicles.
Your dentist can provide you with not only with the usual oral supplies but the staff will gladly take portraits of all those pretty smiles and provide facials and makeovers for those interested.
At your attorney’s office look at that surveillance camera, to check on the nanny or guard your house, they may be on special. While there you can examine all the new digital cameras and plasma TV’s along with stocking up with batteries, film, or memory cards. For those wanting to check on a suspected wandering spouse, ask about the 40X tele-photo lenses.
Who’s to say that the above scenarios are merely whimsical.? Remember when there were “Blue Laws” and all stores were closed on Sunday? Remember when there was an ethical ban on the legal and medical professions against advertising? Remember when segregation was an accepted norm?
So you see there are ways to answer the Goliath’s of the world. The question is who will be the David to sling the first stone?
END
4/19/06
Real or NOT Real ?
Tri-O's
oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
Let’s sharpen some brain cells by taking this very unscientific pop quiz on a variety of subjects. Ask yourself the question after reading each statement. I’m sure that you've seen a similar question posed to TV contestants as they test only their luck in guessing which of 25 briefcases contains a million dollars. Forget the luck factor, here you're asked to use your mental abilities as well as intuitive powers. Sorry, the only reward is making you a better trivia master and fact giver at social gatherings. Keep you own score, the answers are on the bottom half , no peeking . So now consider the following statements and the only question is -------( taa-dah !), “ Is the statement REAL or NOT REAL?”
1. Tug of war was an Olympic competition. 2.Your next flu vaccine may get into your bloodstream on gold pellets. 3. The correct spelling for the word Google is really Googol? 4. A fish bone is the object most often choked on by Americans. 5.About 3000 years ago, most Egyptians died by the time they were 40! 6. The word sugar is the only English word starting with SU where the S is pronounced SH. 7. Pinocchio is an Italian word for "pine eye"? 8. When Joan Rivers was asked if she wanted more children she said, “I have two eggs in the refrigerator” 9. The most common name in the world is Mohammed 10. In order to stop the spread of Avian flu the Pentagon was contemplating a preemptive strike on the Canary Islands. 11. There are over 2 ½ million possible hands in poker (Five-Card) 12.In ancient Egypt, killing a cat was a crime punishable by death. 13. The U. S. once had a King as president. 14. Orange Beach considered changing its name to “Condo City“. 15. Sugarless candies may poison your dog. 16. Las Vegas has the most religious Churches per capita compared to other cities in the U.S. 17. Australia is the driest inhabited continent on earth.18. Henry McCarty aka William H. Bonney aka Billy the Kid was born in New York City. 19. Noah's Ark came to rest on a volcano in Turkey. 20. According to The New York Times Wal-Mart’s profit in 2005 was $10,000 a minute.
ANSWERS: 1. Real, it was until 1920 (the opponents of the sport had more pull) 2. Real, the gold will be microscopic (you too may receive the Midas touch) 3. Real, but let’s not go ga ga 4. Not Real, it’s a toothpick, ask Dr. Heimlich 5. Not Real, it was 30 even without HMOs 6. Not Real, I’m sure 7. Real, wooden you know! 8. Real, they're the ones with the shell lift 9. Real, with multiple spellings. But, by Jiminy, James is the most popular in the U.S. 10. Not Real, but think about it 11. Real, I pass 12. Real, but you could do it eight more times 13. Real. President Gerald Ford was born Leslie King. 14. Not Real, rumor was “Condo By The Gulf” 15. Real, very real. Also on the canine NO FEED ASPCA list is (among others) chocolate, raisins and grapes, coffee, avocado, alcoholic beverages, onions, and macadamia nuts 16. Real. Wanna’ bet? 17. Real. Trick statement because Antarctica has a lower precipitation but is NOT inhabited and that's a stone cold fact. 18. Real. He was also known as Kid Antrim, I Kid you not. 19. Real. Mount Ararat is a volcano also. Noah was two by two there also. 20. Not Real. Wal-Mart makes almost $20,000 in profit - every minute of every day. Not sales, but profit ( what remains after every vendor, expense, and tax is paid). By comparison, Target makes about $6,000. That’s what you call a real Blue light special.
How’d you do? If you got 5-7 right you should read more newspapers and less People Magazine. 8-13 shows that your interests are varied but needs sharpening. 14-17 you are well rounded but probably need more exercise. 18-20 get a life outside of “The History Channel“, “PBS“, “Discovery Channel“, the Web, The National Geographic, and The Wall Street Journal . (And stop following me).
Real or NOT Real ?
Tri-O's
oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
Let’s sharpen some brain cells by taking this very unscientific pop quiz on a variety of subjects. Ask yourself the question after reading each statement. I’m sure that you've seen a similar question posed to TV contestants as they test only their luck in guessing which of 25 briefcases contains a million dollars. Forget the luck factor, here you're asked to use your mental abilities as well as intuitive powers. Sorry, the only reward is making you a better trivia master and fact giver at social gatherings. Keep you own score, the answers are on the bottom half , no peeking . So now consider the following statements and the only question is -------( taa-dah !), “ Is the statement REAL or NOT REAL?”
1. Tug of war was an Olympic competition. 2.Your next flu vaccine may get into your bloodstream on gold pellets. 3. The correct spelling for the word Google is really Googol? 4. A fish bone is the object most often choked on by Americans. 5.About 3000 years ago, most Egyptians died by the time they were 40! 6. The word sugar is the only English word starting with SU where the S is pronounced SH. 7. Pinocchio is an Italian word for "pine eye"? 8. When Joan Rivers was asked if she wanted more children she said, “I have two eggs in the refrigerator” 9. The most common name in the world is Mohammed 10. In order to stop the spread of Avian flu the Pentagon was contemplating a preemptive strike on the Canary Islands. 11. There are over 2 ½ million possible hands in poker (Five-Card) 12.In ancient Egypt, killing a cat was a crime punishable by death. 13. The U. S. once had a King as president. 14. Orange Beach considered changing its name to “Condo City“. 15. Sugarless candies may poison your dog. 16. Las Vegas has the most religious Churches per capita compared to other cities in the U.S. 17. Australia is the driest inhabited continent on earth.18. Henry McCarty aka William H. Bonney aka Billy the Kid was born in New York City. 19. Noah's Ark came to rest on a volcano in Turkey. 20. According to The New York Times Wal-Mart’s profit in 2005 was $10,000 a minute.
ANSWERS: 1. Real, it was until 1920 (the opponents of the sport had more pull) 2. Real, the gold will be microscopic (you too may receive the Midas touch) 3. Real, but let’s not go ga ga 4. Not Real, it’s a toothpick, ask Dr. Heimlich 5. Not Real, it was 30 even without HMOs 6. Not Real, I’m sure 7. Real, wooden you know! 8. Real, they're the ones with the shell lift 9. Real, with multiple spellings. But, by Jiminy, James is the most popular in the U.S. 10. Not Real, but think about it 11. Real, I pass 12. Real, but you could do it eight more times 13. Real. President Gerald Ford was born Leslie King. 14. Not Real, rumor was “Condo By The Gulf” 15. Real, very real. Also on the canine NO FEED ASPCA list is (among others) chocolate, raisins and grapes, coffee, avocado, alcoholic beverages, onions, and macadamia nuts 16. Real. Wanna’ bet? 17. Real. Trick statement because Antarctica has a lower precipitation but is NOT inhabited and that's a stone cold fact. 18. Real. He was also known as Kid Antrim, I Kid you not. 19. Real. Mount Ararat is a volcano also. Noah was two by two there also. 20. Not Real. Wal-Mart makes almost $20,000 in profit - every minute of every day. Not sales, but profit ( what remains after every vendor, expense, and tax is paid). By comparison, Target makes about $6,000. That’s what you call a real Blue light special.
How’d you do? If you got 5-7 right you should read more newspapers and less People Magazine. 8-13 shows that your interests are varied but needs sharpening. 14-17 you are well rounded but probably need more exercise. 18-20 get a life outside of “The History Channel“, “PBS“, “Discovery Channel“, the Web, The National Geographic, and The Wall Street Journal . (And stop following me).
4/5/06
Check this out-Big Brother
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
Remember the joke that was widely distributed on the internet and was later given a public domain on the TV program “ER”? The doctor is telling an obviously inebriated and disheveled man, “I need a blood, urine , and stool specimen”, to which the man slurs, “Just take my shorts”. ..............................Yessirree!
That’s a one stop solution for multiple information. And most of us carry a similar type of multi-informational item on our key chains. It’s called a loyalty card that is swiped at your favorite supermarket, drugstore, or other specialty retail store to receive discounts. This information feeds a database that details everything you buy.
The information, of course, is used for inventory control, to attract shoppers, and to provide frequent customers rewards/incentives. But suppose the supermarket became associated with, or sold those findings to, an insurance company. Their actuaries would love to check the level of your cholesterol by gauging how much eggs and bacon you buy, to better predict with greater accuracy your risk of heart disease, to then adjust the premium you pay. Far-fetched? Well in 2001, the New England supermarket chain Stop & Shop, tested such a program. It was discontinued soon afterward but it had been intended to use customers’ purchases to create a nutritional profile. It would let you know if you needed more fiber or were ingesting too much sodium, etc. According to an article in the Denver University Law Review, a Stop & Shop executive admitted that the company had been considering partnering with “three or four” HMOs to use this data.
Do we ever fully know what happens with the personal information that we unwittingly supply to others.? And there is much more coming.
Consider radio frequency identification (RFID). It is a technology that uses tiny computer chips, some smaller than a pin head, to track items. Without wanting to encourage paranoia read this, “Imagine a world of no more privacy. Where your every purchase is monitored and recorded in a database, and your every belonging is numbered. Where someone many states away or perhaps in another country has a record of everything you have ever bought, of everything you have ever owned, of every item of clothing in your closet—every pair of shoes. What's more, these items can even be tracked remotely. Once your every possession is recorded in a database and can be tracked, you can also be tracked and monitored remotely through the things you wear, carry and interact with every day.” They go on to say , “ It's the world that Wal-Mart, Target, Gillette, Procter & Gamble, Kraft, IBM, and even the United States Postal Service want to usher in within the next ten years.” The preceding quotes are from the book “SPYCHIPS - How Major Corporations and Government Plan to Track Your Every Move with RFID” by Katherine Albrecht and Liz McIntyre. They are self described “suburban moms who've taken on some of the largest corporations in the world” to oppose the proliferation of RFID.
The RFID can be attached to or incorporated into a product, animal, or person. Some current applications of the RFID are: use in cars to automatically pay tolls; in ankle cuffs (ask Martha Stewart); for dog and cattle ID’s; Wal-Mart has its top one hundred suppliers affix RFID tags to crates and pallets as do Target, and Best Buy; the Food and Drug Administration has also approved the use of RFID implants the size of a rice grain for managing patient medical records; P&G had tested the chip in a lipstick product as had Gillette in Mach3 razor blades.
Now consider the future: the U.S. Postal Service can embed postage stamps that would enable point-to-point tracking; embedded cars, clothing, and shoes would tell where you are and were; RFID packaging for items consumed and later trashed would give a tell-tale picture of your lifestyle and habits by a car scanning the area with a reader; your “smart” refrigerator would tell you (and also the manufacturer) when tagged items have expired ; they would replace UPC codes and checkout cashiers - as the basket passes the reader all the items will be tallied and charged to your RFID credit/debit card which received the itemized information.
Many states have legislation pending limiting RFID usage. Some require a conspicuous label on consumer items with RFID disclosing existence of the tag and that it can transmit a unique ID before and after purchase. In Utah it amends computer crime law to include RFID. And to add a headache to this there can be hackers who perform illicit tracking of tags (tags which are world-readable pose a risk to both personal location privacy and corporate/military security).
In light of the coming age of RFID we may no longer be living in a house with walls but rather with surrounding windows....................... Yessirree!
Check this out-Big Brother
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
Remember the joke that was widely distributed on the internet and was later given a public domain on the TV program “ER”? The doctor is telling an obviously inebriated and disheveled man, “I need a blood, urine , and stool specimen”, to which the man slurs, “Just take my shorts”. ..............................Yessirree!
That’s a one stop solution for multiple information. And most of us carry a similar type of multi-informational item on our key chains. It’s called a loyalty card that is swiped at your favorite supermarket, drugstore, or other specialty retail store to receive discounts. This information feeds a database that details everything you buy.
The information, of course, is used for inventory control, to attract shoppers, and to provide frequent customers rewards/incentives. But suppose the supermarket became associated with, or sold those findings to, an insurance company. Their actuaries would love to check the level of your cholesterol by gauging how much eggs and bacon you buy, to better predict with greater accuracy your risk of heart disease, to then adjust the premium you pay. Far-fetched? Well in 2001, the New England supermarket chain Stop & Shop, tested such a program. It was discontinued soon afterward but it had been intended to use customers’ purchases to create a nutritional profile. It would let you know if you needed more fiber or were ingesting too much sodium, etc. According to an article in the Denver University Law Review, a Stop & Shop executive admitted that the company had been considering partnering with “three or four” HMOs to use this data.
Do we ever fully know what happens with the personal information that we unwittingly supply to others.? And there is much more coming.
Consider radio frequency identification (RFID). It is a technology that uses tiny computer chips, some smaller than a pin head, to track items. Without wanting to encourage paranoia read this, “Imagine a world of no more privacy. Where your every purchase is monitored and recorded in a database, and your every belonging is numbered. Where someone many states away or perhaps in another country has a record of everything you have ever bought, of everything you have ever owned, of every item of clothing in your closet—every pair of shoes. What's more, these items can even be tracked remotely. Once your every possession is recorded in a database and can be tracked, you can also be tracked and monitored remotely through the things you wear, carry and interact with every day.” They go on to say , “ It's the world that Wal-Mart, Target, Gillette, Procter & Gamble, Kraft, IBM, and even the United States Postal Service want to usher in within the next ten years.” The preceding quotes are from the book “SPYCHIPS - How Major Corporations and Government Plan to Track Your Every Move with RFID” by Katherine Albrecht and Liz McIntyre. They are self described “suburban moms who've taken on some of the largest corporations in the world” to oppose the proliferation of RFID.
The RFID can be attached to or incorporated into a product, animal, or person. Some current applications of the RFID are: use in cars to automatically pay tolls; in ankle cuffs (ask Martha Stewart); for dog and cattle ID’s; Wal-Mart has its top one hundred suppliers affix RFID tags to crates and pallets as do Target, and Best Buy; the Food and Drug Administration has also approved the use of RFID implants the size of a rice grain for managing patient medical records; P&G had tested the chip in a lipstick product as had Gillette in Mach3 razor blades.
Now consider the future: the U.S. Postal Service can embed postage stamps that would enable point-to-point tracking; embedded cars, clothing, and shoes would tell where you are and were; RFID packaging for items consumed and later trashed would give a tell-tale picture of your lifestyle and habits by a car scanning the area with a reader; your “smart” refrigerator would tell you (and also the manufacturer) when tagged items have expired ; they would replace UPC codes and checkout cashiers - as the basket passes the reader all the items will be tallied and charged to your RFID credit/debit card which received the itemized information.
Many states have legislation pending limiting RFID usage. Some require a conspicuous label on consumer items with RFID disclosing existence of the tag and that it can transmit a unique ID before and after purchase. In Utah it amends computer crime law to include RFID. And to add a headache to this there can be hackers who perform illicit tracking of tags (tags which are world-readable pose a risk to both personal location privacy and corporate/military security).
In light of the coming age of RFID we may no longer be living in a house with walls but rather with surrounding windows....................... Yessirree!
3/4/06
Conversations from Cloud 8.99
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
As most readers of Tri-O’s know I am wont to share my mental excursions. This latest imaginary voyage wafted me into the celestial, drifting among numerous Cloud 9’s.
Each cloud was specific as to its inhabitants. There was one for every profession and occupation, One labeled CLOUD 8.99 caught my attention --it was the one for Retailers. There sitting by the round table was R.H. Macy, J.C. Penney, Stanley Marcus, and Sam Walton. Let’s eavesdrop.
Stanley Marcus: Say Sam, I hear there is some grumbling coming from a town in Alabama about your proposed store.
Sam Walton: No more than usual when we move into a new area. But folks get used to us and things settle down.
J. C. Penney: I remember when we started our first store in Wyoming in1902 there was only a company store for the mining community and they operated on credit. We opened for cash only and the policy of - do unto others as you would have them do unto you -it was called The Golden Rule Store
R. H. Macy: I was told that now-a-days what it means is “who has the gold makes the rules”
STAN: You got that right, RH, but rules are made to be broken.
JC: What do you mean?
STAN: Well in 1872 Montgomery Ward sent out the first mail-order catalog. Then in 1894 Sears added more items and later tacked on "Your money back if you are not satisfied," Our first catalog was in 1908 and in1926 we had the first cover in color and offered "taste, fashion, and value." in exciting new items from all over the world.
RH: And I was the first to introduce the procedure of the one-price system, in which the same item was for sale to every customer at one price, and giving specific prices for goods in newspaper advertising. I was the first to introduce such products as the tea bag, the Idaho baked potato and colored bath towels and the first in-store Santa Claus.
SAM: Well, fellas, I kinda piggy-backed off you. After working at a J.C. Penney store for 2 years and getting out of the Army, in 1945 I bought a Ben Franklin franchise and made it the most profitable with a wide range of goods with very low prices, keeping the store centrally located, staying open later than most stores, and experimented with discount merchandising. I sold the store and made a profit. In 1950 I purchased a store in Bentonville, Arkansas, another Ben Franklin. Then I became quite involved with community activities, such as Rotary Club, the chamber of commerce, the city council, the hospital board, and started a Little League. I opened a second store on my own and I did something I would do for the rest of my run in the retail: “nose around other people's stores searching for good talent" and offering them a percentage of the store's profits. The next new thing was self-service. Cash registers that were located at the counters throughout the store would be replaced by checkouts located in the front of the store where customers would pay for everything at one time. My other ideas: have special promotions, keep the place well lighted and clean, demand staff be loyalty by sharing profits.
JC: That’s all well and good but what about the small corner store selling the same item? Won’t you put them out of business with your lower prices? And one of your stores will be pretty near the other down there in Fairhope.
STAN: I think that the folks will patronize the one that is closer to them but there are those customers who can never get some things that the corner store offers.
RH: Such as…..
STAN: Things that Sam can’t give them even with lower prices and promotional giveaways. That is: the reason to shop there, be it for personalized service, specialized items, or quality goods at a fair price. If you satisfy needs they will come.
JC: I know that if for a few cents more I can receive respect as a shopper, save the time at the checkout and gas too, and chose from an appealing inventory in a cordial environment it’s worth it to me. My middle name is not Cash for nothing.
SAM: There you go again, JC. I will always have my majority share because I buy worldwide in vast quantity and minimize my expenses by standardizing even though I try to tailor each store to the locale. No one has 100% of everything so I say “Bring ‘em on” and if you can do a better job in price (I doubt it) or service (there they may have me) go to it. After all that’s how I got started.
Conversations from Cloud 8.99
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
As most readers of Tri-O’s know I am wont to share my mental excursions. This latest imaginary voyage wafted me into the celestial, drifting among numerous Cloud 9’s.
Each cloud was specific as to its inhabitants. There was one for every profession and occupation, One labeled CLOUD 8.99 caught my attention --it was the one for Retailers. There sitting by the round table was R.H. Macy, J.C. Penney, Stanley Marcus, and Sam Walton. Let’s eavesdrop.
Stanley Marcus: Say Sam, I hear there is some grumbling coming from a town in Alabama about your proposed store.
Sam Walton: No more than usual when we move into a new area. But folks get used to us and things settle down.
J. C. Penney: I remember when we started our first store in Wyoming in1902 there was only a company store for the mining community and they operated on credit. We opened for cash only and the policy of - do unto others as you would have them do unto you -it was called The Golden Rule Store
R. H. Macy: I was told that now-a-days what it means is “who has the gold makes the rules”
STAN: You got that right, RH, but rules are made to be broken.
JC: What do you mean?
STAN: Well in 1872 Montgomery Ward sent out the first mail-order catalog. Then in 1894 Sears added more items and later tacked on "Your money back if you are not satisfied," Our first catalog was in 1908 and in1926 we had the first cover in color and offered "taste, fashion, and value." in exciting new items from all over the world.
RH: And I was the first to introduce the procedure of the one-price system, in which the same item was for sale to every customer at one price, and giving specific prices for goods in newspaper advertising. I was the first to introduce such products as the tea bag, the Idaho baked potato and colored bath towels and the first in-store Santa Claus.
SAM: Well, fellas, I kinda piggy-backed off you. After working at a J.C. Penney store for 2 years and getting out of the Army, in 1945 I bought a Ben Franklin franchise and made it the most profitable with a wide range of goods with very low prices, keeping the store centrally located, staying open later than most stores, and experimented with discount merchandising. I sold the store and made a profit. In 1950 I purchased a store in Bentonville, Arkansas, another Ben Franklin. Then I became quite involved with community activities, such as Rotary Club, the chamber of commerce, the city council, the hospital board, and started a Little League. I opened a second store on my own and I did something I would do for the rest of my run in the retail: “nose around other people's stores searching for good talent" and offering them a percentage of the store's profits. The next new thing was self-service. Cash registers that were located at the counters throughout the store would be replaced by checkouts located in the front of the store where customers would pay for everything at one time. My other ideas: have special promotions, keep the place well lighted and clean, demand staff be loyalty by sharing profits.
JC: That’s all well and good but what about the small corner store selling the same item? Won’t you put them out of business with your lower prices? And one of your stores will be pretty near the other down there in Fairhope.
STAN: I think that the folks will patronize the one that is closer to them but there are those customers who can never get some things that the corner store offers.
RH: Such as…..
STAN: Things that Sam can’t give them even with lower prices and promotional giveaways. That is: the reason to shop there, be it for personalized service, specialized items, or quality goods at a fair price. If you satisfy needs they will come.
JC: I know that if for a few cents more I can receive respect as a shopper, save the time at the checkout and gas too, and chose from an appealing inventory in a cordial environment it’s worth it to me. My middle name is not Cash for nothing.
SAM: There you go again, JC. I will always have my majority share because I buy worldwide in vast quantity and minimize my expenses by standardizing even though I try to tailor each store to the locale. No one has 100% of everything so I say “Bring ‘em on” and if you can do a better job in price (I doubt it) or service (there they may have me) go to it. After all that’s how I got started.
2/4/06
Younger than springtime are we
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
You wouldn’t think it to look at me that I am only 10 years old, or thereabouts . But it’s a fact. And you, yes even YOU, who may be “middle-aged” according to calendar years, may be my age too. Think about it: most of your body tissues constantly die out then are discarded as new ones are being generated. There is a new method of estimating the age of human cells put forth by Jonas Frisen and colleagues. Dr. Frisen, is a stem cell biologist at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm.
They believe, as reported in the July 15, 2005 issue of “Cell”, the average age of all the cells in an adult's body may turn out to be as young as 7 to 10 years . They also concluded all body cells have a different life span. For example: cells from the surface lining of the intestines last for about five days while those of the inner part are close to 16 years, red blood cells are only here for three months, the surface layer of the skin lasts only two weeks, and liver cells live from 300 to 500 days.
The Karolinska team used radioactive carbon dating to determine cell longevity. This method was the result of above ground nuclear testing that was used until 1963. Emissions that was released into the atmosphere entered the food chain ( they were absorbed by plants, then eaten by animals and later humans). We are what we glow, so to speak.
The controversial part came when they examined the brain cells in the cerebral cortex. The brain is a collection of about 10 billion interconnected neurons. The most accepted theory had been that we are born with all the neurons we will ever have except the part that controls the sense of smell, and where initial memories of faces and places are stored.
This concept was questioned a few years ago by scientists who reported finding new neurons being generated. It looks, so far, that the Karolinska team is right, but cells of the cerebellum match the idea that it continues developing after birth and that each day’s memories may be recorded in the newly formed neurons. So this means that we really may be able to change our minds with new neuron entries in the cerebellum but hang on to our old original neurons in the cortex. I presume that’s why we can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but Fido will remember that you tried to.
Bone cells too are now thought to be replaced about every 10 years. So, in principle, you can go out every decade on Halloween rattling a version of your own skeleton.
With Valentine’s day approaching think of the regenerating heart. Conventional wisdom says that we never generates new heart muscle cells after birth but Dr. Frisen claims it does. So when someone has a “change of heart” they may also be anatomically correct.
Consider, if the only “lifetime” cell warranty that we get when we are born , using current knowledge, are the neurons of the cerebral cortex, and perhaps the muscle cells of the heart, why aren’t we perpetually young because of all the constantly renewing body tissues instead of “being” our birth age??
Well, two theories say that the DNA mutates and degrades with succeeding generations, and a third says the stem cells eventually weaken as they age. Research continues.
Over the years there have been many attempts to stop the aging process. In 1932 there was a machine patented that by the use of magnetism, radio waves, infra-red and ultra-violet rays claimed to reverse the aging process. The patient was placed full body into it with only the head outside the chamber. The chamber resembled an iron lung. In my mind eye I imagine that the only after effect to the patients would be that all metallic objects were instantly attracted to them when entering a room (talk about magnetic personality!!).
In 1918 a “Dr.” Brinkley injected goat’s glands into men eager to regain virility at $750 a pop, and as many as 500 would be Casanovas a day lined up at his Milford, Kansas clinic. To this I say, “Baa, baa, humbug”.
Alas, try as we may to find The Fountain of Youth, one has only to look into the mirror, contemplate the myriad of frolicking cells bubbling about in their regenerative process, realize that each moment some part of us is being reborn, and rejoice.
Now, if you excuse me I have to send in my AARP renewal and read my latest edition of “Elderhostel”, even though it might be fraudulent in accordance to my cell age.
``
Younger than springtime are we
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
You wouldn’t think it to look at me that I am only 10 years old, or thereabouts . But it’s a fact. And you, yes even YOU, who may be “middle-aged” according to calendar years, may be my age too. Think about it: most of your body tissues constantly die out then are discarded as new ones are being generated. There is a new method of estimating the age of human cells put forth by Jonas Frisen and colleagues. Dr. Frisen, is a stem cell biologist at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm.
They believe, as reported in the July 15, 2005 issue of “Cell”, the average age of all the cells in an adult's body may turn out to be as young as 7 to 10 years . They also concluded all body cells have a different life span. For example: cells from the surface lining of the intestines last for about five days while those of the inner part are close to 16 years, red blood cells are only here for three months, the surface layer of the skin lasts only two weeks, and liver cells live from 300 to 500 days.
The Karolinska team used radioactive carbon dating to determine cell longevity. This method was the result of above ground nuclear testing that was used until 1963. Emissions that was released into the atmosphere entered the food chain ( they were absorbed by plants, then eaten by animals and later humans). We are what we glow, so to speak.
The controversial part came when they examined the brain cells in the cerebral cortex. The brain is a collection of about 10 billion interconnected neurons. The most accepted theory had been that we are born with all the neurons we will ever have except the part that controls the sense of smell, and where initial memories of faces and places are stored.
This concept was questioned a few years ago by scientists who reported finding new neurons being generated. It looks, so far, that the Karolinska team is right, but cells of the cerebellum match the idea that it continues developing after birth and that each day’s memories may be recorded in the newly formed neurons. So this means that we really may be able to change our minds with new neuron entries in the cerebellum but hang on to our old original neurons in the cortex. I presume that’s why we can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but Fido will remember that you tried to.
Bone cells too are now thought to be replaced about every 10 years. So, in principle, you can go out every decade on Halloween rattling a version of your own skeleton.
With Valentine’s day approaching think of the regenerating heart. Conventional wisdom says that we never generates new heart muscle cells after birth but Dr. Frisen claims it does. So when someone has a “change of heart” they may also be anatomically correct.
Consider, if the only “lifetime” cell warranty that we get when we are born , using current knowledge, are the neurons of the cerebral cortex, and perhaps the muscle cells of the heart, why aren’t we perpetually young because of all the constantly renewing body tissues instead of “being” our birth age??
Well, two theories say that the DNA mutates and degrades with succeeding generations, and a third says the stem cells eventually weaken as they age. Research continues.
Over the years there have been many attempts to stop the aging process. In 1932 there was a machine patented that by the use of magnetism, radio waves, infra-red and ultra-violet rays claimed to reverse the aging process. The patient was placed full body into it with only the head outside the chamber. The chamber resembled an iron lung. In my mind eye I imagine that the only after effect to the patients would be that all metallic objects were instantly attracted to them when entering a room (talk about magnetic personality!!).
In 1918 a “Dr.” Brinkley injected goat’s glands into men eager to regain virility at $750 a pop, and as many as 500 would be Casanovas a day lined up at his Milford, Kansas clinic. To this I say, “Baa, baa, humbug”.
Alas, try as we may to find The Fountain of Youth, one has only to look into the mirror, contemplate the myriad of frolicking cells bubbling about in their regenerative process, realize that each moment some part of us is being reborn, and rejoice.
Now, if you excuse me I have to send in my AARP renewal and read my latest edition of “Elderhostel”, even though it might be fraudulent in accordance to my cell age.
``
1/18/06
Thinking Out Loud In The Silence
TRI-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
If you are like me, sometimes during the wee quiet hours when sleep is elusive, and the Sandman is not making his appointed rounds, thoughts ricochet in your mind like the pixel ball in the old Pong computer game. They have no common denominator and do not even bear a relation to one another. They bounce around helter-skelter in a most disorganized manner. You’ve experienced it, I know. For instance, take a peek at what was rattling around in this cranium recently:
If the vocabulary of Donald Trump eliminated I, Me, My, and Mine , he would most likely be speechless.
My uncle once told me he almost made it into the Guinness World Record book by having found 2 snowflakes that were identical, but could not get them to witnesses in time.
There are over 58 million dogs in the U.S.. In China and Korea they are raised for human consumption. As Paul Harvey says, “It’s not one world”.
Why can’t my computer be as reliable as my refrigerator?
“Riverwalk Orange Beach” should rethink its name. It’s acronym sounds suspect.
Each phrase of the Star Spangled Banner could be, and some are, titles of books, i.e., “Oh, Say, Can You See“ *, “By The Dawn’s Early Light“ **, “What So Proudly We Hailed“ *** , etcetera
Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails! That’s why more socks are sold than gloves, I guess.
Do you think there was collusion between the toothbrush makers and the manufacturers of toothbrush holders? The new brushes have wider handles and you must buy new holders that fit them.
Brian Williams of NBC, Anderson Cooper of CNN, and Hannity & Colmes of FoxNews keep the plight of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita victims in the news, thankfully.
Best 5 minute prep meal for the slow cooker: Salsa Chicken Recipe - Mix together a can of your favorite diced tomatoes (14.5 oz) and jar of salsa (16 oz.), and pour over about 2 lbs. frozen chicken parts (boneless breasts, thighs, or a mix). Put on low heat for 7 hours or high for 4 hours. Serve over cooked noodles or rice. Yummy! (recipe from Chet Day)
The ubiquitous Wal-Mart should change its name to 24-7, as in 7-11.
I wonder why Fred Astaire was not given more recognition for his singing?
We hear numbers bandied about in expenditures, contracts, giveaways - a million here a billion there. To keep things in perspective just think ….if you were to count it at the rate of a dollar a second, without ever stopping, it would take you about 32 years to count to a billion. On an 8 hour 7day no break schedule it would make it almost 100 years!
Name-Game-Blame: New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin now says he didn’t use his noggin when he hesitated the mandatory evacuation and Louisiana Governor Blanco shot blanks when she requested more and faster federal aid.
Mother Nature has squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees in the world by having them bury nuts and then forget where they hid them! Now we know why there are so many nuts in the world!.
Names in the news I can do without: Paris Hilton, Olsen Twins, Lindsay Lohan, Brad Pitt, Jessica Simpson., Tom Cruise, Brittany Spears. Oops, I said them again.
No matter how many talented screen actors there are now, no one comes close to the comedic, debonair, urbane, and good looks of Cary Grant.
Be ouch less: For an almost pain free injection or blood drawing try a little cough as the needle penetrates. It works for me.
You know Christmas is over when you don’t see ads for Chia Pet and Elizabeth Taylor perfume.
Was Dean Martin like James F. Cooper’s Uncas? Was he the last of the crooners (a word you don’t hear lately)?
The person who said “educated beyond his intelligence” must have had some politicians in mind.
It’s 2025. He turns to her and says, “Look”, as he holds up his iPod/TV/camera/telephone /scanner/GPS/surround sound device that’s implanted in his thumbnail. They watch the Oldies MTV-HD showing Snoop Dogg. “They’re playing Our song”, he sighs.
If one quarter of the bones in your body are in your feet then when you call someone a bonehead you may only be partially right.
According to a list, we each use approximately fifty-seven sheets of toilet paper every day. Would you call that a Charmin’ statistic ? Great Scott!…….Did I think that!
Well, enough of this rambling. I know you have your own pre-slumber thoughts to sleep on, and as the Bard said, before the Ambien kicked in, “Perchance to dream”.
* by Kathy E. Ferguson and Phyllis Turnbull, ** by Steven Kroll, *** by Gil Hinshaw
Thinking Out Loud In The Silence
TRI-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
If you are like me, sometimes during the wee quiet hours when sleep is elusive, and the Sandman is not making his appointed rounds, thoughts ricochet in your mind like the pixel ball in the old Pong computer game. They have no common denominator and do not even bear a relation to one another. They bounce around helter-skelter in a most disorganized manner. You’ve experienced it, I know. For instance, take a peek at what was rattling around in this cranium recently:
If the vocabulary of Donald Trump eliminated I, Me, My, and Mine , he would most likely be speechless.
My uncle once told me he almost made it into the Guinness World Record book by having found 2 snowflakes that were identical, but could not get them to witnesses in time.
There are over 58 million dogs in the U.S.. In China and Korea they are raised for human consumption. As Paul Harvey says, “It’s not one world”.
Why can’t my computer be as reliable as my refrigerator?
“Riverwalk Orange Beach” should rethink its name. It’s acronym sounds suspect.
Each phrase of the Star Spangled Banner could be, and some are, titles of books, i.e., “Oh, Say, Can You See“ *, “By The Dawn’s Early Light“ **, “What So Proudly We Hailed“ *** , etcetera
Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails! That’s why more socks are sold than gloves, I guess.
Do you think there was collusion between the toothbrush makers and the manufacturers of toothbrush holders? The new brushes have wider handles and you must buy new holders that fit them.
Brian Williams of NBC, Anderson Cooper of CNN, and Hannity & Colmes of FoxNews keep the plight of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita victims in the news, thankfully.
Best 5 minute prep meal for the slow cooker: Salsa Chicken Recipe - Mix together a can of your favorite diced tomatoes (14.5 oz) and jar of salsa (16 oz.), and pour over about 2 lbs. frozen chicken parts (boneless breasts, thighs, or a mix). Put on low heat for 7 hours or high for 4 hours. Serve over cooked noodles or rice. Yummy! (recipe from Chet Day)
The ubiquitous Wal-Mart should change its name to 24-7, as in 7-11.
I wonder why Fred Astaire was not given more recognition for his singing?
We hear numbers bandied about in expenditures, contracts, giveaways - a million here a billion there. To keep things in perspective just think ….if you were to count it at the rate of a dollar a second, without ever stopping, it would take you about 32 years to count to a billion. On an 8 hour 7day no break schedule it would make it almost 100 years!
Name-Game-Blame: New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin now says he didn’t use his noggin when he hesitated the mandatory evacuation and Louisiana Governor Blanco shot blanks when she requested more and faster federal aid.
Mother Nature has squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees in the world by having them bury nuts and then forget where they hid them! Now we know why there are so many nuts in the world!.
Names in the news I can do without: Paris Hilton, Olsen Twins, Lindsay Lohan, Brad Pitt, Jessica Simpson., Tom Cruise, Brittany Spears. Oops, I said them again.
No matter how many talented screen actors there are now, no one comes close to the comedic, debonair, urbane, and good looks of Cary Grant.
Be ouch less: For an almost pain free injection or blood drawing try a little cough as the needle penetrates. It works for me.
You know Christmas is over when you don’t see ads for Chia Pet and Elizabeth Taylor perfume.
Was Dean Martin like James F. Cooper’s Uncas? Was he the last of the crooners (a word you don’t hear lately)?
The person who said “educated beyond his intelligence” must have had some politicians in mind.
It’s 2025. He turns to her and says, “Look”, as he holds up his iPod/TV/camera/telephone /scanner/GPS/surround sound device that’s implanted in his thumbnail. They watch the Oldies MTV-HD showing Snoop Dogg. “They’re playing Our song”, he sighs.
If one quarter of the bones in your body are in your feet then when you call someone a bonehead you may only be partially right.
According to a list, we each use approximately fifty-seven sheets of toilet paper every day. Would you call that a Charmin’ statistic ? Great Scott!…….Did I think that!
Well, enough of this rambling. I know you have your own pre-slumber thoughts to sleep on, and as the Bard said, before the Ambien kicked in, “Perchance to dream”.
* by Kathy E. Ferguson and Phyllis Turnbull, ** by Steven Kroll, *** by Gil Hinshaw
1/4/06
A Visit From St. Guilt
A Visit From St. Guilt
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
As has been a tradition each year we spend Christmas with my wife's mother and sister's family who live near New Orleans. This year was no exception. Except for an acceptance, which was to realize that the city was no longer what it was. With no claim to news reportage the following are just the personal observations of the place called home for over 30 years.
Approaching the city via I-10 the usual evergreens we were used to seeing had given way to the burnt umber look as the browns of the barren and uprooted trees were strewn on either side of the interstate. The usual hectic traffic we so dreaded had now given way to uncluttered lanes. This was to prove a foreboding of what was to come. What appeared to be zigzag lines of toy soldiers “at ease” were full orange mesh trash bags that stretched for miles on the median and road shoulders.
After settling we took “the tour” around the Lakeview neighborhood which had been a middle income area interspersed with an occasional mansion-like home. Last year most of the homes bore decorative lights and trimmings, some gaudy and yet appealingly charming. Now each proclaimed, in bright day-glo spray paint, that it had been explored by FEMA representatives who left their hieroglyphics in each corner of the X mark.
Like rings left in a bathtub each house bore the lines left by the water heights, a few over 15 feet. These markings brought to mind that this was just the opposite of what happened in Exodus and the tenth plague, when the Angel of Death spared homes that were marked; but here the mark was left after the visitation as a “gotcha“ and not as the Old Testament true believer’s haven to be passed over.
There was a kind of surrounding hush all about, you could almost hear the quiet. Streets were bereft of activity. What few people we did see were trying to drag movable debris to the curbside pile, they wore facial masks to filter the dust and slightly acrid odor. My wife’s eyes felt the sting. The tree canopies were gone as were car ports, windows, porches, brick walls and roofs. An occasional car, mud caked and rusting lay beached and rested where the water surge floated it. One hung at a 45 degree angle with rear bumper hooked on the branch of a live oak tree.
From the street one could see to the back of houses and observe the skeleton-like stud frames. The scene was eerily reminiscent of the one in the movie ON THE BEACH when the submarine’s periscope eye pans ever so slowly on a lifeless San Francisco and traffic-less Golden Gate Bridge, all the people having died in a nuclear radiation holocaust. Here we were, midday, in the center of a once vibrant community and there is no one there. The bleakness of the gray day added to the pervasive despair. And from what was seen on TV of the lower Ninth Ward I'm sure it was 10 times worse than in Lakeview where at least the outside structures were still standing.
We drove though the Central Business District and viewed the One Shell Square high rise where my offices once were. A chain link fence circled the building and the commercial lobby area was still skirted with plywood board. The glimmering light that provided a respite from the dimness proved to be the French Quarter and Garden District which looked virtually the same as in memory. However, the contrast between these intact areas and the surrounding devastation seemed only to magnify the disparity. The overwhelming feeling of loss abounded along with a gnawing depression, then the twinge of guilt surfaced in realizing how fortunate our families have been in not having sustained such major losses, the accompanying suffering, and the life changing decisions to be made.
Despite this cloud of despondency and uncertainty there is a strong personal feeling that the city, with the help of wise leaders, foresighted city planners, talented engineering, generous government aid, and a strong will of the returned and displaced New Orleanians, should be able to resurrect and perhaps even surpass it's former self. A place where all it's citizens can afford and live in decent housing, be employed, enjoy the entertainment, and savor food that the city is renowned for; a place where new industry, services, schools, and medical facilities provide more high tech and professional employment at wages competitive with other major cities. Let's hope that the old regimes of politico hacks filling their pockets and having the leftovers trickle to the public are over and an enlightened leadership, not self serving administrators, oversee carefully and are accountable for all the expenditures. One can only hope.
May the shout of “Laissez les bons temps rouler !” resonate loudly again.
12/21/05
The 2005 News That Wasn’t
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
As the year comes to an end and will soon be reviewed there was some news that may have escaped you. While the headlines hollered hurricanes and the TV told the tales of the tsunami other events were taking place. Nothing that will change your world but interesting in their own way. They might have been buried on page 26 or used as filler on the local channel but all the following did happen this year.
An enterprising man in Nebraska auctioned off the use of his forehead for advertising space. He received $37,375 from the eBay ad to advertise a remedy for snoring . Its logo was temporarily tattooed there for one month. Lest you think he had no restrictions: he refused to be the billboard for any message or product considered tasteless. Now that’s what I call class.
A Nashville motel owner was irked over dope smoking in his establishment. The neighborhood was known for its seediness. So the motel posted “No Pot Smoking” signs in the rooms. The owner says he's trying to clean up their image. He also said that if his patrons object to his new rule, well, that’s too bad. In other words they can get the joints out of his joint. Perception is everything.
NYPD arrested a man who allegedly complained about restaurants where he felt the service was poor or he had been served bad food, by spaying graffiti on their exterior. After six months and over 60 spray- paintings he was caught. Targets included pizza places and Chinese take-outs. When confronted with photographs of his targets, he asked for copies as souvenirs. The police declined. Everybody’s a critic!!
There’s going to be more ugly fish in Alabama. The garfish, otherwise known as a “junk fish” or “trash fish”, is slender, long, and not too handsome a species (except to another garfish, I suppose) received a new lease on life. A bill was passed to repeal a 1943 law requiring fishermen who catch it to kill it rather than release it back in the water to be caught again. So, all ye fisher folk, no more coup d’étating this scaly denizen of the deep. The Alabama House Representative sponsor also wanted to repeal from the constitution the law that requires the Legislature to regulate dueling. Does this mean we can’t spear garfish anymore? Touché, and foiled again!
Be nice to your server. In a Taco Bell in Salt Lake City the order taker pleaded guilty to one count of credit card fraud. It seems the 21 year old double-swiped the credit cards of customers who gave him a hard time and has been sentenced to probation and six months in jail. Let the chips fall where they may.
It happened in Northern France. The man was wearing a suit and tie and said he worked for the car dealership. The truck driver, who was unloading the cars, said the man offered to drive the Ferrari into the showroom. He believed him. Mon Dieu! The dapper deceptor then waved adieu as he sped off. One would call that a very grand auto theft. Oui?.
It was a $95,000, 130,000 pound-plus birthday cake registered with the Guinness Book of World Records created to celebrate Las Vegas’ 100th birthday, and the city thought the baker was donating it. But, NO.! Sara Lee said they agreed only to deliver it at a discounted price. Tons of the layered leftovers went to pig farms. A prime exception of having your cake and eating it too, albeit second hand.
The robber was just a plain Joe with a big nose. That was the description given by the gas station attendant. It was enough to catch him. And just when you thought Jimmy Durante kicked the bucket they dragged him back again!
Beware the naked tickler in New Smyrna Beach, Fla.. After breaking in he tries to feather tickle the feet of sleepers , most of whom are women over 60. There have been five similar, unsolved cases since 2001 and in July he struck again. Police don’t have much to go on except to listen for things that go “hee-hee” in the night.
And how many of us knew that today, December 21 has been declared . . . . Look At The Bright Side Day, National Flashlight Day, National French Fried Shrimp Day, and Hamburger Day ?
Now, just to be on the safe side, here’s wishing you a Merry _______ , or Happy ______ (you fill in the blanks). We anxiously await the 2006 tidings.
The 2005 News That Wasn’t
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
As the year comes to an end and will soon be reviewed there was some news that may have escaped you. While the headlines hollered hurricanes and the TV told the tales of the tsunami other events were taking place. Nothing that will change your world but interesting in their own way. They might have been buried on page 26 or used as filler on the local channel but all the following did happen this year.
An enterprising man in Nebraska auctioned off the use of his forehead for advertising space. He received $37,375 from the eBay ad to advertise a remedy for snoring . Its logo was temporarily tattooed there for one month. Lest you think he had no restrictions: he refused to be the billboard for any message or product considered tasteless. Now that’s what I call class.
A Nashville motel owner was irked over dope smoking in his establishment. The neighborhood was known for its seediness. So the motel posted “No Pot Smoking” signs in the rooms. The owner says he's trying to clean up their image. He also said that if his patrons object to his new rule, well, that’s too bad. In other words they can get the joints out of his joint. Perception is everything.
NYPD arrested a man who allegedly complained about restaurants where he felt the service was poor or he had been served bad food, by spaying graffiti on their exterior. After six months and over 60 spray- paintings he was caught. Targets included pizza places and Chinese take-outs. When confronted with photographs of his targets, he asked for copies as souvenirs. The police declined. Everybody’s a critic!!
There’s going to be more ugly fish in Alabama. The garfish, otherwise known as a “junk fish” or “trash fish”, is slender, long, and not too handsome a species (except to another garfish, I suppose) received a new lease on life. A bill was passed to repeal a 1943 law requiring fishermen who catch it to kill it rather than release it back in the water to be caught again. So, all ye fisher folk, no more coup d’étating this scaly denizen of the deep. The Alabama House Representative sponsor also wanted to repeal from the constitution the law that requires the Legislature to regulate dueling. Does this mean we can’t spear garfish anymore? Touché, and foiled again!
Be nice to your server. In a Taco Bell in Salt Lake City the order taker pleaded guilty to one count of credit card fraud. It seems the 21 year old double-swiped the credit cards of customers who gave him a hard time and has been sentenced to probation and six months in jail. Let the chips fall where they may.
It happened in Northern France. The man was wearing a suit and tie and said he worked for the car dealership. The truck driver, who was unloading the cars, said the man offered to drive the Ferrari into the showroom. He believed him. Mon Dieu! The dapper deceptor then waved adieu as he sped off. One would call that a very grand auto theft. Oui?.
It was a $95,000, 130,000 pound-plus birthday cake registered with the Guinness Book of World Records created to celebrate Las Vegas’ 100th birthday, and the city thought the baker was donating it. But, NO.! Sara Lee said they agreed only to deliver it at a discounted price. Tons of the layered leftovers went to pig farms. A prime exception of having your cake and eating it too, albeit second hand.
The robber was just a plain Joe with a big nose. That was the description given by the gas station attendant. It was enough to catch him. And just when you thought Jimmy Durante kicked the bucket they dragged him back again!
Beware the naked tickler in New Smyrna Beach, Fla.. After breaking in he tries to feather tickle the feet of sleepers , most of whom are women over 60. There have been five similar, unsolved cases since 2001 and in July he struck again. Police don’t have much to go on except to listen for things that go “hee-hee” in the night.
And how many of us knew that today, December 21 has been declared . . . . Look At The Bright Side Day, National Flashlight Day, National French Fried Shrimp Day, and Hamburger Day ?
Now, just to be on the safe side, here’s wishing you a Merry _______ , or Happy ______ (you fill in the blanks). We anxiously await the 2006 tidings.
12/7/05
The Strangeness of Kindness
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
Remember the old Aesop fable of the lion and the mouse? The lion was awakened from sleep by a mouse running over his face. He caught him and was about to kill him, when the mouse pleaded saying: “If you would only spare my life, I would be sure to repay your kindness.” The lion laughed and let him go. Later the lion was caught by some hunters, who bound him to the ground. The mouse, recognizing the lions roar, came and gnawed the rope with his teeth to set the lion free. Moral: No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.
One never knows how an act of kindness may impact others down the line. For example, before the time when weekly magazines were normally delivered by mail they were hand delivered and sold on a house to house basis usually by neighborhood school boys. As a pre-teen yours truly used to have such a magazine delivery route. There was The Saturday Evening Post and Collier’s Weekly. They were carried in a shoulder sling bag and faithfully deposited on the porches of subscribing neighbors along with knocking on doors of non-subscribers in hopes that they would buy a copy. From time to time the distributor offered prizes to those who sold over their allotted quota. One cherished offering was a pearl handled pen knife which I coveted. My quota was missed my by over 20 copies and that knife would never be mine. My eldest sister, who worked, seeing my situation bought all my remaining magazines, no small feat as extra money was not easily earned or so readily available. She gave a few to her co-workers and told me to give the others as samples to some of the people who had not bought them from me in the past. From this one act of kindness I won my knife, and gained more paying customers; some neighbors who were not familiar with what the magazines had to offer in the way of fiction and news were treated to new avenues of interest; my sister received gratitude and recognition at work to say nothing of the new found admiration of her kid brother. It was a win-win-win situation spawned by a simple thoughtful act. I would later learn that this marketing method of giving ‘samples’ was the foundation of the sales success of The Fuller Brush Company and later on Avon Products, to name a few.
In the movie Pay it Forward, based on the 2000 book by Catherine Ryan Hyde, a teacher assigns a project to his seventh grade class to do something “to change the world“. One student comes up with an idea to do something good for three people with their promise that each in turn would do the same for three more people, so instead of paying back a good deed they “pay it forward”. By this mathematical pyramid the whole world could be changed ..…..provided everyone kept their word utilizing this idealistic theory.
These deeds of kindness need not be world shaking. A note left to your server along with your tip, calling “Aunt Matilda” who you haven’t seen in years, buying a candy bar at the check out and giving it to the child in back of you, letting in a motorist trying to merge into your lane, telling any service person you appreciate their work. Call me a Pollyanna but carrying this a step further, how about proclaiming a national People Appreciation Day? A day calling attention to the daily services performed for us that we usually take for granted. All it takes to participate is saying a sincere “Thank you” along with a smile. It costs nothing but conveys much and you strike a blow for civility. One of my favorites, paying the toll for the person behind you on a bridge.
Folks of a certain age may recall the days of yesteryear when the Lone Ranger rode off after having performed an anonymous act of heroism and a bystander asks, “Who was that masked man?” Well, my friend, this time it could be you (dare I pun “The Lone Stranger“? ….groan…….nah!). *
“The happy phrasing of a compliment is one of the rarest of human gifts and the happy delivery of it another.”- Mark Twain's Autobiography (November 30th marked his 170th birthday)
* For more of these ideas for individuals and groups see www.actsofkindness.org
The Strangeness of Kindness
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
Remember the old Aesop fable of the lion and the mouse? The lion was awakened from sleep by a mouse running over his face. He caught him and was about to kill him, when the mouse pleaded saying: “If you would only spare my life, I would be sure to repay your kindness.” The lion laughed and let him go. Later the lion was caught by some hunters, who bound him to the ground. The mouse, recognizing the lions roar, came and gnawed the rope with his teeth to set the lion free. Moral: No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.
One never knows how an act of kindness may impact others down the line. For example, before the time when weekly magazines were normally delivered by mail they were hand delivered and sold on a house to house basis usually by neighborhood school boys. As a pre-teen yours truly used to have such a magazine delivery route. There was The Saturday Evening Post and Collier’s Weekly. They were carried in a shoulder sling bag and faithfully deposited on the porches of subscribing neighbors along with knocking on doors of non-subscribers in hopes that they would buy a copy. From time to time the distributor offered prizes to those who sold over their allotted quota. One cherished offering was a pearl handled pen knife which I coveted. My quota was missed my by over 20 copies and that knife would never be mine. My eldest sister, who worked, seeing my situation bought all my remaining magazines, no small feat as extra money was not easily earned or so readily available. She gave a few to her co-workers and told me to give the others as samples to some of the people who had not bought them from me in the past. From this one act of kindness I won my knife, and gained more paying customers; some neighbors who were not familiar with what the magazines had to offer in the way of fiction and news were treated to new avenues of interest; my sister received gratitude and recognition at work to say nothing of the new found admiration of her kid brother. It was a win-win-win situation spawned by a simple thoughtful act. I would later learn that this marketing method of giving ‘samples’ was the foundation of the sales success of The Fuller Brush Company and later on Avon Products, to name a few.
In the movie Pay it Forward, based on the 2000 book by Catherine Ryan Hyde, a teacher assigns a project to his seventh grade class to do something “to change the world“. One student comes up with an idea to do something good for three people with their promise that each in turn would do the same for three more people, so instead of paying back a good deed they “pay it forward”. By this mathematical pyramid the whole world could be changed ..…..provided everyone kept their word utilizing this idealistic theory.
These deeds of kindness need not be world shaking. A note left to your server along with your tip, calling “Aunt Matilda” who you haven’t seen in years, buying a candy bar at the check out and giving it to the child in back of you, letting in a motorist trying to merge into your lane, telling any service person you appreciate their work. Call me a Pollyanna but carrying this a step further, how about proclaiming a national People Appreciation Day? A day calling attention to the daily services performed for us that we usually take for granted. All it takes to participate is saying a sincere “Thank you” along with a smile. It costs nothing but conveys much and you strike a blow for civility. One of my favorites, paying the toll for the person behind you on a bridge.
Folks of a certain age may recall the days of yesteryear when the Lone Ranger rode off after having performed an anonymous act of heroism and a bystander asks, “Who was that masked man?” Well, my friend, this time it could be you (dare I pun “The Lone Stranger“? ….groan…….nah!). *
“The happy phrasing of a compliment is one of the rarest of human gifts and the happy delivery of it another.”- Mark Twain's Autobiography (November 30th marked his 170th birthday)
* For more of these ideas for individuals and groups see www.actsofkindness.org
11/26/05
The incredible shrinking Earth
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
Well here we are near the end of November and anticipating the Thanksgiving Holiday. One of the major things that we have to be thankful for, in this part of the country, is that this horrendous hurricane season is about to end soon. That ‘whoosh’ sound you hear is the collective sigh of relief from all coastal residents.
After witnessing or experiencing a major catastrophe one invariably will hear “I guess it could have been worse.” The truth is - it can usually be worse. Take for instance the complete wipe out of an island. No, this is not referring to the lost civilization of Atlantis but the disappearance of Hog Island. It happened in August of 1893. There was a small barrier isle off the southern coast of the Rockaways, itself a peninsula of the Borough of Queens in New York City. The island was shaped like a pig’s back, reported to be about a mile long , several hundred feet wide and about a thousand feet offshore. It was reached by boarding a ferry for 5 cents and probably within swimming distance, especially at low tide. It became a sought after recreational property on which resided bathing houses and restaurants. Hog Island became a gathering place where the powers of Tammany Hall wheeled and dealed. You can call it a forerunner or prototype of similar beach resort areas which were to evolve in later years. It surfaced in the 1860’s and by the 1890’s it was a developer’s delight.
There was no radio, Weather Channel. or Live Doppler Radar on August 24, 1893 to warn of the impending storm coming up from Norfolk, Virginia which in 12 hours would hit New York City and wash away Hog Island . As late as 1996 according to the New York Times “artifacts -- broken plates, beer mugs, bricks, coal, fragments of dolls and, ominously, the wick of a hurricane lamp -- embedded in the sand.” were still being found on nearby beaches and attributed to that category 2 hurricane. Just gone with the tide.
Also, of note, according to the U.S. Geological Survey “Louisiana lost approximately 1,900 square miles of coastal land, primarily coastal marshes, during the 20th century and could lose another 700 square miles over the next 50 years if no new restoration takes place. That means by 2050 one third of coastal Louisiana will have vanished into the Gulf of Mexico. Nationally, Louisiana currently experiences about 90 percent of the total coastal marsh loss in the continental United States……. that's an entire football field every half hour.”
The sky may not be falling but the coastlines sure are shrinking. If the expanded development along all our coasts continues (and this condition is worldwide) and if the sea levels rise because of additional storm intensities, that may be caused by global warming, then “coastal erosion at widely varying rates affects about 90% of the world’s coasts and is likely to increase” again according to the USGS.
It seems that there should be put in place a carefully thought out plan to integrate the desires of humans to be near water with the certainties of nature utilizing all the scientific resources and the documentation of history. For this we would all be thankful.
It’s a small world after all, and getting smaller. To extrapolate this ongoing erosion let’s just picture the mainland U.S. compacting itself into the geological center of the country. Then Dorothy, in The Wizard of OZ, could no longer say, “Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas any more.”, because we most likely will be.
***********************************
Around the world in 80 clicks
A follow up on a recent column about traveling the world without leaving the U.S.:
For a 360 degree panoramic views take a virtual tour of Stockholm, Rome, Thailand, Egypt, and the Louvre in Paris, among other locales. It is current as it is updated weekly. The sites creator also has ‘Panorama of the Week' and his 'Latest additions' to continue on your journey. You will find this a really neat way to travel and visit places around the globe from the comfort of home and no jet lag!
http://www.virtualsweden.se/
Keyboard Tip: Save a lot of typing by eliminating the http://www/ and the .com.
Just type the name and press the Control and Enter keys at the same time. Those bothersome parts will be filled in automatically.
The incredible shrinking Earth
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
Well here we are near the end of November and anticipating the Thanksgiving Holiday. One of the major things that we have to be thankful for, in this part of the country, is that this horrendous hurricane season is about to end soon. That ‘whoosh’ sound you hear is the collective sigh of relief from all coastal residents.
After witnessing or experiencing a major catastrophe one invariably will hear “I guess it could have been worse.” The truth is - it can usually be worse. Take for instance the complete wipe out of an island. No, this is not referring to the lost civilization of Atlantis but the disappearance of Hog Island. It happened in August of 1893. There was a small barrier isle off the southern coast of the Rockaways, itself a peninsula of the Borough of Queens in New York City. The island was shaped like a pig’s back, reported to be about a mile long , several hundred feet wide and about a thousand feet offshore. It was reached by boarding a ferry for 5 cents and probably within swimming distance, especially at low tide. It became a sought after recreational property on which resided bathing houses and restaurants. Hog Island became a gathering place where the powers of Tammany Hall wheeled and dealed. You can call it a forerunner or prototype of similar beach resort areas which were to evolve in later years. It surfaced in the 1860’s and by the 1890’s it was a developer’s delight.
There was no radio, Weather Channel. or Live Doppler Radar on August 24, 1893 to warn of the impending storm coming up from Norfolk, Virginia which in 12 hours would hit New York City and wash away Hog Island . As late as 1996 according to the New York Times “artifacts -- broken plates, beer mugs, bricks, coal, fragments of dolls and, ominously, the wick of a hurricane lamp -- embedded in the sand.” were still being found on nearby beaches and attributed to that category 2 hurricane. Just gone with the tide.
Also, of note, according to the U.S. Geological Survey “Louisiana lost approximately 1,900 square miles of coastal land, primarily coastal marshes, during the 20th century and could lose another 700 square miles over the next 50 years if no new restoration takes place. That means by 2050 one third of coastal Louisiana will have vanished into the Gulf of Mexico. Nationally, Louisiana currently experiences about 90 percent of the total coastal marsh loss in the continental United States……. that's an entire football field every half hour.”
The sky may not be falling but the coastlines sure are shrinking. If the expanded development along all our coasts continues (and this condition is worldwide) and if the sea levels rise because of additional storm intensities, that may be caused by global warming, then “coastal erosion at widely varying rates affects about 90% of the world’s coasts and is likely to increase” again according to the USGS.
It seems that there should be put in place a carefully thought out plan to integrate the desires of humans to be near water with the certainties of nature utilizing all the scientific resources and the documentation of history. For this we would all be thankful.
It’s a small world after all, and getting smaller. To extrapolate this ongoing erosion let’s just picture the mainland U.S. compacting itself into the geological center of the country. Then Dorothy, in The Wizard of OZ, could no longer say, “Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas any more.”, because we most likely will be.
***********************************
Around the world in 80 clicks
A follow up on a recent column about traveling the world without leaving the U.S.:
For a 360 degree panoramic views take a virtual tour of Stockholm, Rome, Thailand, Egypt, and the Louvre in Paris, among other locales. It is current as it is updated weekly. The sites creator also has ‘Panorama of the Week' and his 'Latest additions' to continue on your journey. You will find this a really neat way to travel and visit places around the globe from the comfort of home and no jet lag!
http://www.virtualsweden.se/
Keyboard Tip: Save a lot of typing by eliminating the http://www/ and the .com.
Just type the name and press the Control and Enter keys at the same time. Those bothersome parts will be filled in automatically.
11/9/05
ANOTHER CHARM IS ADDED
oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
She was about five years old. She sat in the passenger seat as I drove. “Daddy, what’s that noise?” she asked. “What noise.” “That clicking sound.” “Oh, that’s my turn signal. I’m letting the driver behind me know that I’m going to make a left turn.” She thought for a moment, looked up at me with a wide grin and mischievous glint in her eyes that seemed to say ‘you’re trying to fool me and I caught you’, and said, “ I know that he can’t hear it from way back there.” I realized then that she had utilized the theory of cause and effect to form a logical conclusion, although somewhat flawed because of lack of all the information. That was about 25 years ago and I think that from that time on few people have ever fooled Vicki.
As a baby she exhibited the trait of empathy. She has a twin sister and would invariably join in the crying whenever her sister started. When they were separated into different classrooms the first day at school tears formed rivulets down her cheeks. They also seemed to have a language known only between them.
I recall a still night, she was about 6 years old, which was shattered by her screeching. She had had a nightmare. She sat bolt upright shivering and insisted that there was an elephant under her bed. It took a long time consoling her and for her to accept the fact that the "elephant" had gone before she went back to sleep ( I think she even had one eye open in case it returned). Assurances that proved true gave her the sense of trust and goodwill.
For several years she wore dental braces. That along with the trips to the orthodontist taught her the rewards of patience.
When she played clarinet in the school band she realized the time spent in practicing paid off. Perseverance was learned going through the hills and valleys traversing those musical scales.
She was ‘chubby’ as an adolescent but in her later teen years trimmed down and toned up. This process was one we used to call stick-to-it-tivity, setting a goal and attaining it by sheer effort. During that transition , on her own, she competed in a local pageant, not the winner but willing to try. From this experience she gained the respect of fellow competitors. We knew that her self-esteem was intact.
High school and college were finished in a seeming blink of an eye. She earned a degree in , what else for a logical mind, engineering and had her pick of several job offers upon graduation.
Again, with self assurance and by herself, she bought a house while still in her early twenties. She assumed the responsibilities of its upkeep and maintenance. This done not only to provide a residence but with the prospect of it being a sound investment. Her foresight using practical business sense proved her right when she later relocated for “a job offer she couldn’t refuse” and profited by it.
Twelve years after graduation and two jobs later, with ever increasing responsibilities along with job titles, she met, fell in love, and in 2003 married a fellow engineer.
This past October 21 she experienced motherhood as Courtney Isabella weighed in at 5pounds 7ounces and 19 inches long. Courtney joins her cousins Jordan, James, Sydney, Tori, and Madeline of Aunt Lisa and Uncle Bill by becoming the sixth grandchild and adding a precious charm to this linkage of life.
We know that Courtney is in good hands for if history repeats she will have much innate insight. Her loving care, guidance, and well being are assured from parents and family. One can only hope that the worst that may befall her is finding an “elephant” beneath her bed and not knowing where the clicking in the car is coming from.
ANOTHER CHARM IS ADDED
oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
She was about five years old. She sat in the passenger seat as I drove. “Daddy, what’s that noise?” she asked. “What noise.” “That clicking sound.” “Oh, that’s my turn signal. I’m letting the driver behind me know that I’m going to make a left turn.” She thought for a moment, looked up at me with a wide grin and mischievous glint in her eyes that seemed to say ‘you’re trying to fool me and I caught you’, and said, “ I know that he can’t hear it from way back there.” I realized then that she had utilized the theory of cause and effect to form a logical conclusion, although somewhat flawed because of lack of all the information. That was about 25 years ago and I think that from that time on few people have ever fooled Vicki.
As a baby she exhibited the trait of empathy. She has a twin sister and would invariably join in the crying whenever her sister started. When they were separated into different classrooms the first day at school tears formed rivulets down her cheeks. They also seemed to have a language known only between them.
I recall a still night, she was about 6 years old, which was shattered by her screeching. She had had a nightmare. She sat bolt upright shivering and insisted that there was an elephant under her bed. It took a long time consoling her and for her to accept the fact that the "elephant" had gone before she went back to sleep ( I think she even had one eye open in case it returned). Assurances that proved true gave her the sense of trust and goodwill.
For several years she wore dental braces. That along with the trips to the orthodontist taught her the rewards of patience.
When she played clarinet in the school band she realized the time spent in practicing paid off. Perseverance was learned going through the hills and valleys traversing those musical scales.
She was ‘chubby’ as an adolescent but in her later teen years trimmed down and toned up. This process was one we used to call stick-to-it-tivity, setting a goal and attaining it by sheer effort. During that transition , on her own, she competed in a local pageant, not the winner but willing to try. From this experience she gained the respect of fellow competitors. We knew that her self-esteem was intact.
High school and college were finished in a seeming blink of an eye. She earned a degree in , what else for a logical mind, engineering and had her pick of several job offers upon graduation.
Again, with self assurance and by herself, she bought a house while still in her early twenties. She assumed the responsibilities of its upkeep and maintenance. This done not only to provide a residence but with the prospect of it being a sound investment. Her foresight using practical business sense proved her right when she later relocated for “a job offer she couldn’t refuse” and profited by it.
Twelve years after graduation and two jobs later, with ever increasing responsibilities along with job titles, she met, fell in love, and in 2003 married a fellow engineer.
This past October 21 she experienced motherhood as Courtney Isabella weighed in at 5pounds 7ounces and 19 inches long. Courtney joins her cousins Jordan, James, Sydney, Tori, and Madeline of Aunt Lisa and Uncle Bill by becoming the sixth grandchild and adding a precious charm to this linkage of life.
We know that Courtney is in good hands for if history repeats she will have much innate insight. Her loving care, guidance, and well being are assured from parents and family. One can only hope that the worst that may befall her is finding an “elephant” beneath her bed and not knowing where the clicking in the car is coming from.
10/20/05
REPEAT AFTER ME, BOOOOOR- RING
oddities, observations, & opinions
By Herb Kandel
Some say that as we age we get more crotchety. At the risk of being accused guilty of this seeming malady I have to vent my long held dislike of current speech patterns, hang-ups, and a few hand gestures. They grate the ear/eye and usually distract from the point of the speaker. They are trite and downright boring (or as said now, BOOOOOR-RING). Their usage shows a lack of vocabulary and a win for peer group pressure as it puts everyone on the same bland page showing little individuality.
How many times does the word LIKE come up in conversations nowadays? Too many!! It probably originated as teen talk in the movie Clueless, about California Valley Girls (who end every sentence with an uptalk lilt-like question mark), and Frank Zappa who in the 80’s wrote the song Valley Girl in which almost every other word is LIKE, in ridicule. It has not run its course yet as is the case of most catch phrases ( “I kid you not”, “Wassup?”, etc.). Listen to an interview with a seemingly bright person “ I’ll be, like, talking to someone, and I’ll, like, have to say it several times because they were not, like, listening”. The word itself is being used as a “filler” , a verbal crutch, it can be omitted easily without changing the meaning. It’s the equivalent of interjecting an “um” or “uh” stutter between words. Like, you know what I mean?
Speaking of “You know”. I have a friend who invariably ended each sentence with a YOU KNOW. How irritating is that? Not until I countered every “you know” with an equally nettlesome “I know” was this speech tic exposed for what it is, aural thorns.
How many times have you been orally assaulted with “You know what I mean?” or “Understand what I’m saying?” And when asked that do you usually care to understand or know the meaning? I bet not.
Of late the most repeated words in describing the aftermath of the hurricanes are “devastating”, “surreal”, “unbelievable”, and “decimated“. No matter how apt these words may be, their constant repetition slowly immunizes us to the real implication of their intent, providing a precise word/s to accurately convey the event. The more they are used the more familiar they get and the more they are accepted as the norm until the power of their true meaning becomes blunted by the sameness. The impact they had initially diminishes each time they are said. The effect is the opposite of Chinese water torture (where by continually dripping water on the forehead a prisoner is driven mad), at the beginning it is hardly noticeable but as it constantly persists it becomes more resonant. So just like (the ‘like’ here being used as a comparison) including cyan pepper and jalapeno in a recipe, these words have more substance when used sparingly.
More words that have crept into everyday speech at alarming rates are “actually”, “d-uh”, “hell--low”, “hopefully”, “Oh-- my-- gaawd!”, “Yatta, yatta, yatta” and “awesome”. I’m sure you can add more to this list of ear kudzu.
And how about those visual clues using physical actions to emphasize. Such as when the word ‘telephone’ is said and the speaker raises a fist, extends the pinky and thumb, and brings it to his cheek. Hey, we all know what a phone looks like! Hell-low! Why do people make a V sign with both hands then wiggle those fingers when they “quote”? And the open mouth with a finger pointing to it as a gagging gesture. How original is that? Ask Joan Rivers. Fa' ged about it!!
To sum up---Actually, when you, like, read this you will hopefully not find it, like, a surreal experience if you know what I mean. You can be, like, devastated or find it hopefully awesome, you know, but d-uh not booooor-ring, yadda-yadda-yadda. You understand what I‘m saying? Hell-low……. Whatever.
Send e-mail to hekan@mail.com
REPEAT AFTER ME, BOOOOOR- RING
oddities, observations, & opinions
By Herb Kandel
Some say that as we age we get more crotchety. At the risk of being accused guilty of this seeming malady I have to vent my long held dislike of current speech patterns, hang-ups, and a few hand gestures. They grate the ear/eye and usually distract from the point of the speaker. They are trite and downright boring (or as said now, BOOOOOR-RING). Their usage shows a lack of vocabulary and a win for peer group pressure as it puts everyone on the same bland page showing little individuality.
How many times does the word LIKE come up in conversations nowadays? Too many!! It probably originated as teen talk in the movie Clueless, about California Valley Girls (who end every sentence with an uptalk lilt-like question mark), and Frank Zappa who in the 80’s wrote the song Valley Girl in which almost every other word is LIKE, in ridicule. It has not run its course yet as is the case of most catch phrases ( “I kid you not”, “Wassup?”, etc.). Listen to an interview with a seemingly bright person “ I’ll be, like, talking to someone, and I’ll, like, have to say it several times because they were not, like, listening”. The word itself is being used as a “filler” , a verbal crutch, it can be omitted easily without changing the meaning. It’s the equivalent of interjecting an “um” or “uh” stutter between words. Like, you know what I mean?
Speaking of “You know”. I have a friend who invariably ended each sentence with a YOU KNOW. How irritating is that? Not until I countered every “you know” with an equally nettlesome “I know” was this speech tic exposed for what it is, aural thorns.
How many times have you been orally assaulted with “You know what I mean?” or “Understand what I’m saying?” And when asked that do you usually care to understand or know the meaning? I bet not.
Of late the most repeated words in describing the aftermath of the hurricanes are “devastating”, “surreal”, “unbelievable”, and “decimated“. No matter how apt these words may be, their constant repetition slowly immunizes us to the real implication of their intent, providing a precise word/s to accurately convey the event. The more they are used the more familiar they get and the more they are accepted as the norm until the power of their true meaning becomes blunted by the sameness. The impact they had initially diminishes each time they are said. The effect is the opposite of Chinese water torture (where by continually dripping water on the forehead a prisoner is driven mad), at the beginning it is hardly noticeable but as it constantly persists it becomes more resonant. So just like (the ‘like’ here being used as a comparison) including cyan pepper and jalapeno in a recipe, these words have more substance when used sparingly.
More words that have crept into everyday speech at alarming rates are “actually”, “d-uh”, “hell--low”, “hopefully”, “Oh-- my-- gaawd!”, “Yatta, yatta, yatta” and “awesome”. I’m sure you can add more to this list of ear kudzu.
And how about those visual clues using physical actions to emphasize. Such as when the word ‘telephone’ is said and the speaker raises a fist, extends the pinky and thumb, and brings it to his cheek. Hey, we all know what a phone looks like! Hell-low! Why do people make a V sign with both hands then wiggle those fingers when they “quote”? And the open mouth with a finger pointing to it as a gagging gesture. How original is that? Ask Joan Rivers. Fa' ged about it!!
To sum up---Actually, when you, like, read this you will hopefully not find it, like, a surreal experience if you know what I mean. You can be, like, devastated or find it hopefully awesome, you know, but d-uh not booooor-ring, yadda-yadda-yadda. You understand what I‘m saying? Hell-low……. Whatever.
Send e-mail to hekan@mail.com
10/12/05
The Gathering Storm of People
oddities, observations, and opinions by Herb Kandel
Then:
Many knew it was coming, There were reports and signs of it for a long time. The ones who recognized the impending danger packed up and left, they knew that they might not return and if they did everything would be different. The ones who stayed had the mind set that the threat was exaggerated, had seen similar type situations before, or were naïve enough to think it would not effect them. Many packed what they could and sought refuge with family, friends, or even with strangers in places far flung. They took what belongings they could carry, some even had the foresight to pack and ship prized possessions elsewhere prior to the onslaught. This is the story if those who remained hoping that they somehow would be spared from the forces that were surely heading their way.
When it started it was so small and insignificant that hardly any but those with a predisposed interest in matters of that kind took note or even cared. As it spun more it picked up speed and was joined by more and more of the ingredients to make it swell. As the vortex expanded it combined many elements that hitherto would not have been part of it but the inertia of motion swept almost all into its path. The powers in charge mandated those who were still there to leave. There were no exceptions and whole families were moved out. Some who did not comply chose to seek safety in attics or places where the they thought the danger would not find them. For some it proved fatal.
Groups were formed by the authorities. The plans called for mass evacuation of the area so all forms of transportation were brought into play. After this happened the homes and businesses vacated were stripped by frenzied crowds. The people were herded to holding areas and then to staging arenas. Inevitably family members were separated, some forever. The conditions they had to endure were some of the worst they had ever experienced in their lives. Strangers were of necessity forced into claustrophobic quarters, food and water were a long time in coming and when available it was portioned out. Personal hygiene became a luxury and soon the facilities to take care of those needs were gone. The oppressive environment and uncertainty preyed on their nerves and altered many previously rational thinking. Some who could not cope took their own life. The ailing and frail succumbed quickly. There were many acts of kindness and some of cruelty.
There were people there who protested, others who waited docilely, while some were even denied border crossings to neighboring safe places, but all suffered the same. Some of the leaders of this exodus praised and congratulated those in charge of the operation but there were outsiders who began recognizing that all was not right. From outside of the turbulence there were those who did nothing, some saw what was happening and turned away, while a small number took it upon themselves to bring what attention they could to the plight of the unfortunate. It seemed that bureaucracy and politics were playing a major role in the impeding of help to those trapped. In the crowded mass the religious among them asked “Why?”, the others asked not but all sought equally some sustenance of life and some glimmer of hope. During that time many perished and the survivors carry the scars of the ordeal to this day.
It took the armed forces to free them from their misery. Those that performed the task would never forget the circumstances and conditions of those rescued.
Now:
There are those who say that during Hurricanes Katrina and Rita that too much television time was devoted to the human suffering, the devastation, and the noting of ineptitudes. Yet were it not for the media coverage the outside world would not have known the magnitude of what was happening. One can only speculate if those same video cameras, camcorders, web sites, and other sources of getting happening events to the public existed during the above time, if the course of history would have been changed.
The time from the onset of that gathering of people until their liberation took over seven years, from about 1938 to 1945 when the death camps were found in Europe. And the only words that come to mind in order to convey the enormity of such cataclysmic events, be they natural or manmade, are those of Herbert Morrison. Morrison was recording for radio, in 1937, the landing of the Hindenburg airship when it burst into flame. He lamented incredulously at the sight of the disaster “Oh, the humanity !”. We can say the same of both events.
The Gathering Storm of People
oddities, observations, and opinions by Herb Kandel
Then:
Many knew it was coming, There were reports and signs of it for a long time. The ones who recognized the impending danger packed up and left, they knew that they might not return and if they did everything would be different. The ones who stayed had the mind set that the threat was exaggerated, had seen similar type situations before, or were naïve enough to think it would not effect them. Many packed what they could and sought refuge with family, friends, or even with strangers in places far flung. They took what belongings they could carry, some even had the foresight to pack and ship prized possessions elsewhere prior to the onslaught. This is the story if those who remained hoping that they somehow would be spared from the forces that were surely heading their way.
When it started it was so small and insignificant that hardly any but those with a predisposed interest in matters of that kind took note or even cared. As it spun more it picked up speed and was joined by more and more of the ingredients to make it swell. As the vortex expanded it combined many elements that hitherto would not have been part of it but the inertia of motion swept almost all into its path. The powers in charge mandated those who were still there to leave. There were no exceptions and whole families were moved out. Some who did not comply chose to seek safety in attics or places where the they thought the danger would not find them. For some it proved fatal.
Groups were formed by the authorities. The plans called for mass evacuation of the area so all forms of transportation were brought into play. After this happened the homes and businesses vacated were stripped by frenzied crowds. The people were herded to holding areas and then to staging arenas. Inevitably family members were separated, some forever. The conditions they had to endure were some of the worst they had ever experienced in their lives. Strangers were of necessity forced into claustrophobic quarters, food and water were a long time in coming and when available it was portioned out. Personal hygiene became a luxury and soon the facilities to take care of those needs were gone. The oppressive environment and uncertainty preyed on their nerves and altered many previously rational thinking. Some who could not cope took their own life. The ailing and frail succumbed quickly. There were many acts of kindness and some of cruelty.
There were people there who protested, others who waited docilely, while some were even denied border crossings to neighboring safe places, but all suffered the same. Some of the leaders of this exodus praised and congratulated those in charge of the operation but there were outsiders who began recognizing that all was not right. From outside of the turbulence there were those who did nothing, some saw what was happening and turned away, while a small number took it upon themselves to bring what attention they could to the plight of the unfortunate. It seemed that bureaucracy and politics were playing a major role in the impeding of help to those trapped. In the crowded mass the religious among them asked “Why?”, the others asked not but all sought equally some sustenance of life and some glimmer of hope. During that time many perished and the survivors carry the scars of the ordeal to this day.
It took the armed forces to free them from their misery. Those that performed the task would never forget the circumstances and conditions of those rescued.
Now:
There are those who say that during Hurricanes Katrina and Rita that too much television time was devoted to the human suffering, the devastation, and the noting of ineptitudes. Yet were it not for the media coverage the outside world would not have known the magnitude of what was happening. One can only speculate if those same video cameras, camcorders, web sites, and other sources of getting happening events to the public existed during the above time, if the course of history would have been changed.
The time from the onset of that gathering of people until their liberation took over seven years, from about 1938 to 1945 when the death camps were found in Europe. And the only words that come to mind in order to convey the enormity of such cataclysmic events, be they natural or manmade, are those of Herbert Morrison. Morrison was recording for radio, in 1937, the landing of the Hindenburg airship when it burst into flame. He lamented incredulously at the sight of the disaster “Oh, the humanity !”. We can say the same of both events.
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