10/20/05
REPEAT AFTER ME, BOOOOOR- RING
oddities, observations, & opinions
By Herb Kandel
Some say that as we age we get more crotchety. At the risk of being accused guilty of this seeming malady I have to vent my long held dislike of current speech patterns, hang-ups, and a few hand gestures. They grate the ear/eye and usually distract from the point of the speaker. They are trite and downright boring (or as said now, BOOOOOR-RING). Their usage shows a lack of vocabulary and a win for peer group pressure as it puts everyone on the same bland page showing little individuality.
How many times does the word LIKE come up in conversations nowadays? Too many!! It probably originated as teen talk in the movie Clueless, about California Valley Girls (who end every sentence with an uptalk lilt-like question mark), and Frank Zappa who in the 80’s wrote the song Valley Girl in which almost every other word is LIKE, in ridicule. It has not run its course yet as is the case of most catch phrases ( “I kid you not”, “Wassup?”, etc.). Listen to an interview with a seemingly bright person “ I’ll be, like, talking to someone, and I’ll, like, have to say it several times because they were not, like, listening”. The word itself is being used as a “filler” , a verbal crutch, it can be omitted easily without changing the meaning. It’s the equivalent of interjecting an “um” or “uh” stutter between words. Like, you know what I mean?
Speaking of “You know”. I have a friend who invariably ended each sentence with a YOU KNOW. How irritating is that? Not until I countered every “you know” with an equally nettlesome “I know” was this speech tic exposed for what it is, aural thorns.
How many times have you been orally assaulted with “You know what I mean?” or “Understand what I’m saying?” And when asked that do you usually care to understand or know the meaning? I bet not.
Of late the most repeated words in describing the aftermath of the hurricanes are “devastating”, “surreal”, “unbelievable”, and “decimated“. No matter how apt these words may be, their constant repetition slowly immunizes us to the real implication of their intent, providing a precise word/s to accurately convey the event. The more they are used the more familiar they get and the more they are accepted as the norm until the power of their true meaning becomes blunted by the sameness. The impact they had initially diminishes each time they are said. The effect is the opposite of Chinese water torture (where by continually dripping water on the forehead a prisoner is driven mad), at the beginning it is hardly noticeable but as it constantly persists it becomes more resonant. So just like (the ‘like’ here being used as a comparison) including cyan pepper and jalapeno in a recipe, these words have more substance when used sparingly.
More words that have crept into everyday speech at alarming rates are “actually”, “d-uh”, “hell--low”, “hopefully”, “Oh-- my-- gaawd!”, “Yatta, yatta, yatta” and “awesome”. I’m sure you can add more to this list of ear kudzu.
And how about those visual clues using physical actions to emphasize. Such as when the word ‘telephone’ is said and the speaker raises a fist, extends the pinky and thumb, and brings it to his cheek. Hey, we all know what a phone looks like! Hell-low! Why do people make a V sign with both hands then wiggle those fingers when they “quote”? And the open mouth with a finger pointing to it as a gagging gesture. How original is that? Ask Joan Rivers. Fa' ged about it!!
To sum up---Actually, when you, like, read this you will hopefully not find it, like, a surreal experience if you know what I mean. You can be, like, devastated or find it hopefully awesome, you know, but d-uh not booooor-ring, yadda-yadda-yadda. You understand what I‘m saying? Hell-low……. Whatever.

Send e-mail to hekan@mail.com