5/20/06

Are bells ringing for me and my gov.?

Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel


The plan was to call the restaurant from my cell phone when I was about 15 minutes from there and order the take out meal. Since my wife is not the “Domestic Goddess” of the oven we tend to eat out and take out more often than the average couple, except when the urge overcomes me and the salmon or pasta dish graces our kitchen table. About the time to make the call I pulled over in a strip mall parking lot only to be told by a beep and curt message that my battery was too low to transmit. Lucky for me there was a pay phone (which are getting scarce) on the lot. The slot swallowed the 50 cents (what ever happened to ‘drop a dime‘?) and I placed my order. Having done this numerous times no menu was needed. While placing the order there were strange sounds of clattering, clicking, and ringing. When I hung up I wondered if my call had been tapped because I was calling an ethnic restaurant and who knew if what I ordered was not code for a nefarious plot. Could those noises have come from the kitchen, a faulty connection, or from that nearby van with a dish like antenna on the roof? The current news concerning telephone interceptions gives one pause to think how our world has changed.
Did I mind that someone may have been listening in? Yes and no (strike a blow for equivocation). No, as I know that my call was innocent, and I hope they do find anyone intending to do harm. Yes, as my privacy was invaded.
I keep recalling the line from the movie “A Few Good Men” when Jack Nicholson says, “You can't handle the truth.” On the level of morality the question remains: what are limits to our civil liberties and how far does the rule of law extend? I hope that minds far greater than mine discern the ethical difference of this delicate balancing act.
On the subject of security and privacy we are all subject to being “wanded” or walking through the magnetic portals at airports, courtrooms, government buildings, and even schools. They, of course, are intended to detects pistols, knives, box cutters, foil-wrapped drugs and similar items. A belt buckle, key chain, and steel toed shoes may set off these sensitive detectors also. So will commonly used orthopedic hip and knee implant materials which include stainless steel, cobalt chrome, and titanium. We have not done any air travel of late but I’m sure if I passed through the passageway today the chimes would sound like the “Grand March” from Aida as a response to numerous silver fillings and bionic hips.
Other detections may prove less than conspiratorial but more embarrassing. Several years ago a 40’ish British woman at the Athens airport set off the walk through magnetometer alarm. The security staff found, to their probable surprise, that what gave the alarm was the stainless steel chastity belt she was wearing. She explained her husband had forced her to wear it to make sure she had no romantic flings during her Christmas visit to Greece. After, what I imagine to have been a careful deliberation of the situation by the security authorities, they allowed her to fly back to London “on the pilot’s responsibility”
Which leaves two questions: One, how did she get by the London security, if she had flown in? Two, was the belt removed and confiscated if it was on the banned item list? And if it had, as a corollary, what interesting stories that locksmith could have told..
There are other personal items that would set off the walk through alarm and require additional screening including a hand-wanding and a pat-down inspection that includes the torso. For instance heavy jewelry, body piercing, metal buttons and snaps, metal hair barrettes, and under-wire bras. Screeners may also stop you if you have boots, platform shoes, or shoes with thick sole or heel.
After numerous complaints to the Transportation Security Administration that the pat-down procedures are embarrassing and invasive because they involve screeners touching people near sensitive body areas, the agency modified its pat-down procedures thoughtfully allowing women to place their arms at their sides instead of holding them out.
Random searches can happen also. There was an instance recalled by a middle aged woman selected for one, as she was going to have her back patted down the considerate security guard told her he would only use the back of his hand.
Manufacturers and retailers are recognizing the problems of the miffed traveler and are offering products which will safely bypass the scrutiny of the metal detectors. There are shoes and some bras designed for that purpose. With tags that look like passports Florsheim identifies the styles "airport friendly" inside the shoebox while the U.S. bra manufacturers tried a version of a "Frequent Flyer Bra" but say plastic underwires don't offer the same support so they produce very little. So it seems most women would rather ring those bells than be let down.