1/18/06

Thinking Out Loud In The Silence

TRI-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel

If you are like me, sometimes during the wee quiet hours when sleep is elusive, and the Sandman is not making his appointed rounds, thoughts ricochet in your mind like the pixel ball in the old Pong computer game. They have no common denominator and do not even bear a relation to one another. They bounce around helter-skelter in a most disorganized manner. You’ve experienced it, I know. For instance, take a peek at what was rattling around in this cranium recently:
If the vocabulary of Donald Trump eliminated I, Me, My, and Mine , he would most likely be speechless.
My uncle once told me he almost made it into the Guinness World Record book by having found 2 snowflakes that were identical, but could not get them to witnesses in time.
There are over 58 million dogs in the U.S.. In China and Korea they are raised for human consumption. As Paul Harvey says, “It’s not one world”.
Why can’t my computer be as reliable as my refrigerator?
“Riverwalk Orange Beach” should rethink its name. It’s acronym sounds suspect.
Each phrase of the Star Spangled Banner could be, and some are, titles of books, i.e., “Oh, Say, Can You See“ *, “By The Dawn’s Early Light“ **, “What So Proudly We Hailed“ *** , etcetera
Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails! That’s why more socks are sold than gloves, I guess.
Do you think there was collusion between the toothbrush makers and the manufacturers of toothbrush holders? The new brushes have wider handles and you must buy new holders that fit them.
Brian Williams of NBC, Anderson Cooper of CNN, and Hannity & Colmes of FoxNews keep the plight of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita victims in the news, thankfully.
Best 5 minute prep meal for the slow cooker: Salsa Chicken Recipe - Mix together a can of your favorite diced tomatoes (14.5 oz) and jar of salsa (16 oz.), and pour over about 2 lbs. frozen chicken parts (boneless breasts, thighs, or a mix). Put on low heat for 7 hours or high for 4 hours. Serve over cooked noodles or rice. Yummy! (recipe from Chet Day)
The ubiquitous Wal-Mart should change its name to 24-7, as in 7-11.
I wonder why Fred Astaire was not given more recognition for his singing?
We hear numbers bandied about in expenditures, contracts, giveaways - a million here a billion there. To keep things in perspective just think ….if you were to count it at the rate of a dollar a second, without ever stopping, it would take you about 32 years to count to a billion. On an 8 hour 7day no break schedule it would make it almost 100 years!
Name-Game-Blame: New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin now says he didn’t use his noggin when he hesitated the mandatory evacuation and Louisiana Governor Blanco shot blanks when she requested more and faster federal aid.
Mother Nature has squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees in the world by having them bury nuts and then forget where they hid them! Now we know why there are so many nuts in the world!.
Names in the news I can do without: Paris Hilton, Olsen Twins, Lindsay Lohan, Brad Pitt, Jessica Simpson., Tom Cruise, Brittany Spears. Oops, I said them again.
No matter how many talented screen actors there are now, no one comes close to the comedic, debonair, urbane, and good looks of Cary Grant.
Be ouch less: For an almost pain free injection or blood drawing try a little cough as the needle penetrates. It works for me.
You know Christmas is over when you don’t see ads for Chia Pet and Elizabeth Taylor perfume.
Was Dean Martin like James F. Cooper’s Uncas? Was he the last of the crooners (a word you don’t hear lately)?
The person who said “educated beyond his intelligence” must have had some politicians in mind.
It’s 2025. He turns to her and says, “Look”, as he holds up his iPod/TV/camera/telephone /scanner/GPS/surround sound device that’s implanted in his thumbnail. They watch the Oldies MTV-HD showing Snoop Dogg. “They’re playing Our song”, he sighs.
If one quarter of the bones in your body are in your feet then when you call someone a bonehead you may only be partially right.
According to a list, we each use approximately fifty-seven sheets of toilet paper every day. Would you call that a Charmin’ statistic ? Great Scott!…….Did I think that!
Well, enough of this rambling. I know you have your own pre-slumber thoughts to sleep on, and as the Bard said, before the Ambien kicked in, “Perchance to dream”.
* by Kathy E. Ferguson and Phyllis Turnbull, ** by Steven Kroll, *** by Gil Hinshaw