7/18/07

Elvis is still in the bank



Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel

How would you like to earn income not only during your working life but also from the beyond? Yes, even after the bed, bath, and last rites. Well, not exactly for you, as you won’t be around to spend it, but for your estate or the loved ones left after you enter the hereafter. Simple. Your best bet is to just become a rock star, song writer, artist or entertainer. Follow me on this.

Next month will be the 30th anniversary of death of Elvis Presley, He strummed his last note at the age of 42 yet his estate last year, according to Forbes.com, made a million dollars for each year he lived. Right, $42 M. And get this, Elvis was second, behind Kurt Cobain who gyrated in at $50M (what Nirvana!). Of the top 13 named, five other high unearthly earners were in the musical category ( John Lennon $24 M, Ray Charles $10 M, Johnny Cash $8 M, George Harrison $7 M, and Bob Marley $7). The Arts/Entertainment drew three (Charles M. Schulz $35 M [don’t call that Peanuts], Andy Warhol $19 M, and Marilyn Monroe $8 M). There were two authors ( Theodor Geisel [ Dr. Seuss- only fat green cat in the hat] $10 M, and J.R.R. Tolkien $7M) and a lonely scientist (Albert Einstein $ 20 M). So earning from the other side is more readily accomplished artistically, but don’t tell that to Bill Gates.

There are several candidates from the recently departed that may have a shot to be on the list next year. Here are a few that may make it:
Johnny Carson was king of the late night talk shows for 30 years when he called it quits in 1992. After his death from emphysema in 2005 ( I can still see that ash tray that sat on his studio desk) his estate owned over 4000 hours of video footage (The Tonight Show broadcasts which aired from 1962 to 1972 were erased to save on storage costs……some heads rolled for that, I’m sure). On a recent entertainment news segment they showed the vault where the collection is kept; it is housed 54 stories below ground in a climate controlled salt mine near Kansas City, Kansas. You can occasionally see some of the highlights on a 30 minute infomercial and smile as Johnny chuckles or swings his air golf club.

Dale Earnhardt Sr. drove his last lap in 2001 which ended in the crash at the Daytona 500. Yet less than two years later his estates took in $20 M through licensing and royalty fees. General Motors Chevrolet Division honored him by naming a limited edition of a pickup truck the 2006 Silverado Intimidator SS (“The Intimidator” was Earnhardt’s nickname). With all the merchandise, collectables, souvenirs, superstore, and increased NASCAR visibility Dale’s estate can get that checkered flag again.

“‘Ol Blue Eyes“, “The Chairman of the Board“, that was Frank Sinatra whose career spanned 60 years of radio, television, movies, cabarets (“saloon singer” as he referred to himself), and records. He has been missing from the list of late but has usually been up there and will be again. I have high hopes he’ll be no stranger to those rites.

There are other notable musical names who continue to materially affect the lives of the living from the grave. Consider Gangsta rapper Tupac Shakur who died in 1996 and whose estate made $12 M in 2003 and $5 M the next year. Then there are Rogers and Hammerstein, Lerner and Lowe, Ira and George Gershwin, along with Cole Porter, Irving Berlin, Jimi Hendrix, and Jerry Garcia who have been on the list consistently. What music this must bring to their heirs.

Lastly, did you know that the deceased artists have agents? You’ve seen John Wayne, Audrey Hepburn, James Dean, Fred Astaire, and Charlie Chaplin on TV commercials hawking a host of products. A company out of Indianapolis had a corner on that market until recently when a division owned by Microsoft purchased a competing agency and added icons such as Warhol and Liberace. There will be a lot more seen from beyond the crypt and who said that there’s no life after death? Well it may be so if you don’t have a song in your heart. Gee, I wish my dad sang better!

By the way, it makes you wonder if there is an IRS agency on the other side of the grass? Now, that would be a humm-dinger!
End

7/11/07

Believable doubt

Tri-O's
oddities, observations, and opinions

by Herb Kandel

We all know Andy Rooney the commentator who usually wraps up the CBS 60 Minutes program with a satirical and sometimes cynical essay. But long before Andy there was a Greek philosopher who roamed the streets of ancient Athens teaching that the simple life (no, not the Paris-Nicole kind) was the only virtuous one. He lived in a tub and was said to have discarded his last utensil, a cup, when seeing a man drink from his hands. Rank and social position meant nothing to him. He was in that tub when Alexander the Great asked what he desired, and Diogenes said, “Only step out of my sunlight.” The apex of his cynicism was when he trudged in daylight holding aloft a lantern looking “for an honest man”

Then there was Cassandra. She was the beautiful daughter of Queen Hecuba and King Priam of Troy. Apollo, the god of the Sun, fell in love with her and gave her the gift of prophecy to seduce her, but she rejected him afterwards. Enraged, Apollo put a diabolical codicil to her power----indeed she had the ability to know the future and tell the truth but, and here’s the twist ……. no one would ever believe her!

Imagine if the simplistic, yet complex, cynic Diogenes were to meet the truth telling, frustrated, not to be believed prophetess Cassandra. I think I see them. There they are looking down on us, mere mortals, and discussing current events. Let’s eavesdrop over the clouds:

Diogenes: Darn fools think that building a high fence will keep people forever on one side when everyone knows that anything constructed will eventually get destructed.

Cassandra: I know that it will be built, but the fix will be temporary. Remember, I told Stalin and Gorbachev about the same thing in Berlin. But noooo, they wouldn’t believe me; they had to hear it from Reagan. That was just like the time I warned daddy not to let that big Greek wooden horse into our city.

D: Yeah, we did make the most of that “gift”. But I’m upset….. malicious computer software that looks harmless but actually contains a virus is called a “Trojan” rather than a “Grecian” after the people who devised that scheme.

C: I see that if you are in a major city you will be photographed many times going about your day to day activities. There are many surveillance cameras in operation now and more are being installed as a deterrent to crime. I foresee neighborhood groups and gated communities following suit forming networks of their own and turning over criminal evidence to police.

D: That would sure provide a lot of screen monitoring jobs for the local voyeurs, provide exhibitionists with a stage to strut on, cut down on potential hanky-panky, and give a whole new meaning to “neighborhood watch“.

C: Another divination is that all citizens will have tiny radio powered I D microchips implanted which will contain vital medical and other personal information.

D: During my time they used to call that a “spouse” and you had to feed them.

C: It’s clear to me that foul air pollutants do damage to the firmament.

D : Now Cass, I suppose you’re going to tell me global warming caused Icarus to fall into the sea when we all know that he flew to close to your spurned suitor Apollo without first applying sunblock.

C: Then how can you explain all the smoky gray tinged beards on you guys up here that used to be snowy white?

D: Well it could be from our Grecian Formula # 16.

C: And the world is becoming more egotistical. Everywhere you go there is iPod, iTunes, iTrip, iDock, iSpeak, iPhone, and even iHop

D: I have to agree with you on this one and if things continue on this self indulgence course the birth rate will decrease, there will be fewer workers and service providers, eventually all systems will break down and our epitaph will be “iWas”

C: Things won’t get that bleak. However I do envisage fewer working hours, higher pay, longer vacations, paying less tax, and receiving more benefits.

D: Yes, but how about the folks who are not politicians?

C: Oh, Di, be serious. There is current conflict and bickering among nations and political parties which will not soon come to resolution.

D: There are some things in life that you can always count on.

And by the way, I have a few drachmas, I mean euros. Do you know the winner of Super Bowl XLII?

C: Of course. But if I told, who’d believe me?

END