1/17/07

Baby, it's cold outside - or is it?


Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel

Baby, it's cold outside - or is it?

When Johnny Carson hosted the Tonight Show he sometimes mentioned the weather in Los Angeles when it was unusual. He would start with , “It was very cold in L.A. today….” And before he continued the audience would shout out as one voice, “HOW COLD WAS IT?” Then Johnny would answer, "It was so cold today, a cab driver was saying something to a pedestrian and his middle finger froze."
I was reminded of this recently when my wife was complaining about the “freezing” weather and also something about having to walk the dogs, the combination of which leads to happy frisky walkees and an irritated chilled walker. And this was with temps in the mid 40’s!
“When I was a kid we would consider weather like this to be tropical. And what‘s more in the really frigid times we used to go fishing”, I said. “Sure”, she demurred with the hint of a smirk. “It’s true. Let me tell you.” And I continued:
It’s the dead of winter, bundled against cold and sometimes whipping cold weather wearing at least two of everything , what was later called “layering”, ……underwear, pants, sweaters socks, hats that rolled down to cover our ears,…..Sy and I went frost fishing. We were about 12 or 13. For this “fishing” all you needed was a burlap sack, papa’s boots stuffed with newspaper both for isolation and to fill the space for our smaller feet , and gloves (those brown cotton ones, we wore 2 pair of them also) that usually got soaked in short order. We would walk along the shore line on the Rockaway Beach peninsula in New York and pick up the “frost” fish ( I learned later they are called whitings or silver hake) which had been tossed onto the beach by the surf . They would be flash frozen. Most were stiff but many were still wriggling trying to get back to the ocean on the next wave when we picked them up. The moon reflected off their silver bellies and it was a beautiful sight to see the flashing shimmering light of this manna from the sea - almost like the brilliance of fireflies on summer nights. On moonless nights we used flash lights to reveal the silver of the beached fish. We had to time it so that we had a full 40 -50 lb. sack when we returned to our starting point. When there were other frost fishers on the shore it was a competition to see who got to the fish first. If I concentrate I can still feel the sting of frigid air with each inhalation and see the heavy smoke on exhale.
After we lugged our bounty home our mothers’ cleaned what our family was to eat, there were no freezers at that time (in fact a wooden crate from the “fruit store”, with a shelf in the center that formerly held oranges, was nailed to the outside of the kitchen window and freezing temperatures would keep frozen whatever was put in it during the cold months). The ice box was just that. The majority of the fish we sold by going door to door in the neighborhood for 5 cents, and 10 cents for the larger ones. We always liked to go fishing Thursday night so we could sell the fish to our Catholic neighbors for their Friday suppers. Many depended on us for those fresh beauties and the affordable price.
During the war years, WW2, the beach was patrolled by the Coast Guard so that no spy could signal Nazi U-boats which were thought to be off the Atlantic coast. Naturally Sy and I sneaked onto the beach, no war was going to keep us off our appointed frost fishing grounds. We went on moonless nights too (after all we had the acute vision of the young). “Fishing” was usually great but on several occasions the Coast Guard patrol picked us up and transported us in their Jeep back to the boardwalk where we started, with an admonition to go home and not to do it again. We were fortunate in that it was different patrol guards that picked us up on our subsequent fishing expeditions.
Frost fishing today is a thing of the past, as I understand, as the commercial fishing fleets have so depopulated the ocean of these species and they no longer feed close to shore where the waves can toss them onto the beach.
After relating this to my wife she is still of the mind that 1. It is still “freezing” outside. 2. The dogs still have to be walked. AND 3. “Because you were foolish enough to suffer the cold voluntarily doesn't mean I have to …..and besides there are no fish on the route we take.”
END

1/6/07

2006 News that wasn't

Tri--O's
Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
It’s that time of year again when there are a lot of Top Ten listings of highlighted events of the past year. We all know, and are reminded once more, of the major happenings both here and around the world. But here at Tri--O’s we dig deeper than the front page headlines and point out items that may have been overlooked on page 19A, below the fold. These too have a place in the history that was, but they were not given the large print reporting. Here goes:
“Is this seat taken?”, he asked pointing to the vacant chair next to her. She then went into a tirade and threatened to kill him. This by itself would be ludicrous but it happened to a man while attending an anger management group in Indiana. Good thing he asked before sitting, otherwise she might have acted without giving him warning and just imagine if he had asked for her phone number! Ka-Pow!! One would safely surmise that she is single and lives alone with a pet gargoyle.
Then there was this guy with two prosthetic legs exiting a Chicago lounge after having one too many who offered to give a ride home to a deaf man whose speech he couldn't understand. After many miles and seemingly not getting any closer to the deaf man’s home the driver attempted to drop the man off at a county airport. They were “debating”, as best they could, the situation outside of the car whereupon the frustrated hearing impaired man knocked down the handicapped driver. Someone called 911. Police came. The officer wrote on his note to the hitter that he was under arrest for battery and arrested the hitee on a DUI. The driver might have appealed the charge, but personally I don't think he had a leg to stand on.
Thousands of wild parrots are roosting in Pomona Valley in Southern Calif.. These birds are native to tropical northeast Mexico and may be here illegally but here they nest nevertheless. The residents are complaining that they are loud and make for sleepless nights. Add to the fact that they live for 30-40 years and you have a plot right out of Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds”. I guess no one in town dare ask, “Polly want a cracker?” for fear of being pecked to death.
It’s winter in Maine and yet the lakes and ponds on Bar Harbor remained virtually ice-free through December, which is highly unusual. Is Al Gore right about the theory of global warming? Or is it that the rain in Maine stayed mainly as the rain?
The lighted Christmas display in Kenosha, Wis, spelled out “Melissa will you marry me?”. It was the unique proposal that Brian knew would get Melissa to say “Yes”, and it worked. But it is rumored that good old innovative Santa had used a similar device to get Mrs. Claus’ acquiescence many years ago, before the advent of electric lights. Except he spelled out his request with reindeer droppings in the snow.
The man was just trying to be friendly to the panda in the Beijing zoo but the alcohol on his breath may have triggered GuGu to bite him on the leg when he jumped the enclosure and startled the animal awake. The would-be petter then bit the panda on the fuzzy back . Gu Gu countered by biting his other leg. Call it a draw as the zoo keeper ended the bout by spraying water on the panda. A zoo spokeswoman affirmed Gu Gu’s health and said they would not press charges. Which begs the question: could the offender have been charged with pandering and the zoo thus be given a black eye?
We look forward to more zany news in 2007. Happy New Year.

Three word result
Several weeks ago we reported on an NPR survey which asked : How would you describe America in three words? We requested reader three word input. Responses came from Florida to Alaska, thank you for taking the time to answer. Bear in mind that no statistical accuracy is claimed. The results:
Free (3) proud (2) beautiful (2) naive (2) . One for each of the following:
Self absorbed - self righteous - hypocritical - innovative - generous - humorous - happy- over indulgent - diverse - economically imbalanced - decent -courageous - enterprising - opportunity - stability- opportunistic- indifferent- misdirected - apathetic - misinformed - greedy - fabulous - blessed - endangered - corrupt- disenchanted
Some sent 3 word phrases: country of freedom - best there is - my own country - the very best - speak my mind - full of promise . And one reader contributed oxymoron: individual rights .
Which all goes to show what a free, proud, and beautifully naive people we are. God bless us, everyone.
END