3/26/08
Triangle of death
Tri-O’s
Oddities, Observations, and Opinions By
Herb Kandel
It seems we all take for granted the environmental, zoning, and occupational hazard laws. Many did not usually evolve by dint of foresightedness but rather through tragedy. A case in point involves one that happened 97 years ago this week. It was Saturday March 25, 1911, about 4:40 in the afternoon. In five minutes the bell would clang on top floors 8, 9, and 10 to let the workers know that they could leave their sewing machines and other operating equipment. The overtime pay was a welcome addition to the employees who usually earned $6 a week. This was lower Manhattan in the Asch building and this factory made and assembled women¹s tailored shirts. The employees were mainly immigrant women, some as young as 15, mostly Italian, Jewish, Russian, and German. There were about 500 employed on those three floors and they worked for the Triangle Shirtwaist Company.
Then someone on the 8th floor shouted "Fire!"
The combustible materials burned rapidly and torched the overhead racks of the shirts in process. Smoke billowed out of the windows and fire quickly spread. The 27 water buckets proved useless in dousing the increasing flames. There was a rush to the two passenger elevators and the stairway. The door to the stairway opened in, not out. With the rush to get there the crowd defeated itself temporarily by blocking the space necessary to swing it in. They later were able to escape to street level some with clothes smoking others suffered major burns.
Meanwhile the 10 passenger elevator kept bringing down 12 -15 people at a time but the ring of fire on the upper floors still threatened hundreds. The elevator operator would later testify as he was descending in the shaft he heard the thumping of bodies hitting the top of the car. They plummeted from the 9th floor whose door was pried open. Police would later remove more than 30 corpses from atop the elevator, all were women.
Acts of bravery were reported. Three men formed a human chain from the 8th floor window to the adjacent window next door. Some girls were able to cross over on the backs of the three. But then the men lost their balance. All three fell 80 feet to join those on the pavement. At first bystanders thought that bolts of fabric were being tossed out of the windows to save the material but the bolts were soon realized to be bodies.
On the 9th floor the stairway doors were locked (it was said to prevent materials from being stolen). The fire escape was useless and collapsed under the load of the workers. The inferno there was the area that claimed the most lives. The firefighters arrived from six blocks away. Within 15 minutes it became a four alarm fire. Pumps did not have the power to propel the water to the top floors. Ladders were extended which only reached the mid 6th floor, some jumped toward them in hope of grabbing a rung near the top. None did.
A New York Times report described five girls by a window, "They leaped together, clinging to each other, with fire streaming back from their hair and dresses".
Lifenets were stretched but multiple bodies landing at the same time proved a disaster. It seemed to be raining girls as they chose the window exit rather than burn alive. Again, the New York Times, "Few of the girls that fell from the windows on the ninth floor, it was learned, jumped of their own accord. They were pushed forward by the panic stricken crowd in the room behind them." The report continued, "The crowd yelled 'Don't jump!' but it was jump or be burned the proof of which is found in the fact that fifty burned bodies were taken from the ninth floor alone."
Those on the 10th floor fared better. They escaped to the roof. Next door was New York University Law School. It was 15 foot higher than the Asch building. Seeing the commotion on the roof a teacher and his students found ladders left by painters. They lowered them to the roof below allowing the 70 or so workers to climb to safety. All but one person survived from the 10th floor.
The fire was under control in less than 30 minutes. It claimed the lives of 146 people. The building itself, steel and concrete, showed hardly any signs of the disaster yet it had experienced four recent fires and had been cited as unsafe because of the deficiency of exits. There is still no definitive cause of the fire, most believed a cigarette or match landed on the cluttered floor. The owners were acquitted of wrongdoing. In civil suit they were made to pay $75 to each of the twenty three families who had sued them.
This workplace disaster was the largest in New York history until 9/11 but because of it new laws were enacted: fire codes, safety and occupational standards, workers compensation, and a myriad other statutes for the benefit and welfare of the public along with stiff penalties for non-compliance. It still sadly exemplifies why government mandate Law in the wake of catastrophes such as Triangle Shirtwaist Company.
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/03/26/columnists/doc47e97564451b2651060365.txt
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
3/15/08
Bananas going ?
Tri-O's
Oddities, observations, and opinions By Herb Kandel
Last week I gleaned the “to read” e-mail from the spam on my computer. After deleting all the pixels notifying me I was the heir to vast Nigerian bequests and entreaties for enlarging body parts I found an interesting one from a friend. It extolled the benefits of eating bananas. The nutritional values are said to be numerous and the report maintained they helped maladies such as Depression, PMS, high blood pressure, hangovers, ulcers, and even warts, to name a few. For all I know it may be the true elixir of life. What a wonderful way to remedy and maintain health -- ingesting the delicious yellow fruit shaped like a comma!
Then I heard an interview on NPR‘S program “Fresh Air”. Host Terry Gross was talking with Dan Koeppel, who spent three years researching and writing “Banana, The Fate of the Fruit That Changed the World”. He claims that the banana may be an endangered fruit in the next 10 to 20 years.
Facts: Americans eat more bananas than apples and oranges combined. It is a seedless, sexless fruit that does not really reproduce but is a genetic duplicate of the next generation, in essence what the world eats are clones. The same type banana, the Cavendish, is the same in Europe and China as it is here. Since they all are genetically the same they are susceptible to the same blights. There was a another strain of bananas, Gros Michel (Big Mike), that was obliterated in the 1960’s by a soil fungus which attacks the roots, called Panama disease. Another fungus, black Sigatoka, is a leaf fungus which also destroys the plant.
The same fate may be in store for the Cavendish, says Koeppel. More about this later.
Millions of people rely on the fruit for sustenance. Here we may regard it as a snack or a sliced addition to our breakfast cereal, but in Africa and other parts of the world it is a staple (in Uganda the word for “food” and the one for “banana” are the same). After rice, wheat, and milk, bananas are the fourth most beneficial food in developing countries as an excellent source of carbohydrate, fiber, vitamins and minerals. It is estimated that 500 million poor people, from Brazil to Indonesia, would be adversely effected if “Yes, we have no bananas” were to become a reality.
It is uncertain as to how bananas evolved or where they developed. Some claim, in translations of the Bible, that it was really a banana that Adam was tempted with by Eve (maybe that snake knew about nutrition). But in recent times whole Central American countries had their fates dependent on the fruit. The United Fruit company mushroomed (so to speak) in that part of the world. Its influence played into politics, industry, labor, and overthrew governments in banana republics.
Koeppel is now shining the spotlight on genetic engineering and warning about the fruit’s demise. Without genetically modified (GM) harvests this food source would be eliminated. There is a rush now to save the Cavendish or morph it into another strain by developing them in test tubes since it has no seeds or pollen and is therefore sterile. A team of scientists inserted a gene from rice which they say provides protection for the banana from black Sigatoka with no danger to humans or the environment. According to them the GM banana reduces the need for pesticides. However the Panama fungus is still to be reckoned with. Organic bananas sold in the West are grown without pesticides but the yield is greatly reduced.
Some opponents of GM consider it “frankenfood”, and there are other nay sayers who contend the situation is not dire. They are almost as adamant as those folks who claim that global warming is a hoax. Indeed, even the sources at Snopes.Com (an investigative site exposing urban legends) maintain that there are other disease control alternatives such as “the development of plants resistant to the main diseases, the employment of friendly bacteria, fungi, and other micro-organisms”. They recognize the threat of a banana plague but feel it is not imminent and that it can be avoided with strict enforcement that prohibit of the export of pathogen infected soil and banana suckers to new plantations and growing fields.
It is a strong case that Koeppel makes about the threat of extinction being real. In addition to the above information about science, genetic codes, political intrigues, and globalization, he also looks into the banana trade, marketing, cultural aspects, injustices with violence, historical lethal events in the harvesting and transporting, and economic imperialism.
Who knew that this iconic golden fruit, which has so much to offer the world, has such a history and who’s future is now a mystery? Certainly not I. But if I don’t slip on a banana peel Koeppel’s book will be my next read.
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/03/15/columnists/doc47daeaf1c08e1843317824.txt
Bananas going ?
Tri-O's
Oddities, observations, and opinions By Herb Kandel
Last week I gleaned the “to read” e-mail from the spam on my computer. After deleting all the pixels notifying me I was the heir to vast Nigerian bequests and entreaties for enlarging body parts I found an interesting one from a friend. It extolled the benefits of eating bananas. The nutritional values are said to be numerous and the report maintained they helped maladies such as Depression, PMS, high blood pressure, hangovers, ulcers, and even warts, to name a few. For all I know it may be the true elixir of life. What a wonderful way to remedy and maintain health -- ingesting the delicious yellow fruit shaped like a comma!
Then I heard an interview on NPR‘S program “Fresh Air”. Host Terry Gross was talking with Dan Koeppel, who spent three years researching and writing “Banana, The Fate of the Fruit That Changed the World”. He claims that the banana may be an endangered fruit in the next 10 to 20 years.
Facts: Americans eat more bananas than apples and oranges combined. It is a seedless, sexless fruit that does not really reproduce but is a genetic duplicate of the next generation, in essence what the world eats are clones. The same type banana, the Cavendish, is the same in Europe and China as it is here. Since they all are genetically the same they are susceptible to the same blights. There was a another strain of bananas, Gros Michel (Big Mike), that was obliterated in the 1960’s by a soil fungus which attacks the roots, called Panama disease. Another fungus, black Sigatoka, is a leaf fungus which also destroys the plant.
The same fate may be in store for the Cavendish, says Koeppel. More about this later.
Millions of people rely on the fruit for sustenance. Here we may regard it as a snack or a sliced addition to our breakfast cereal, but in Africa and other parts of the world it is a staple (in Uganda the word for “food” and the one for “banana” are the same). After rice, wheat, and milk, bananas are the fourth most beneficial food in developing countries as an excellent source of carbohydrate, fiber, vitamins and minerals. It is estimated that 500 million poor people, from Brazil to Indonesia, would be adversely effected if “Yes, we have no bananas” were to become a reality.
It is uncertain as to how bananas evolved or where they developed. Some claim, in translations of the Bible, that it was really a banana that Adam was tempted with by Eve (maybe that snake knew about nutrition). But in recent times whole Central American countries had their fates dependent on the fruit. The United Fruit company mushroomed (so to speak) in that part of the world. Its influence played into politics, industry, labor, and overthrew governments in banana republics.
Koeppel is now shining the spotlight on genetic engineering and warning about the fruit’s demise. Without genetically modified (GM) harvests this food source would be eliminated. There is a rush now to save the Cavendish or morph it into another strain by developing them in test tubes since it has no seeds or pollen and is therefore sterile. A team of scientists inserted a gene from rice which they say provides protection for the banana from black Sigatoka with no danger to humans or the environment. According to them the GM banana reduces the need for pesticides. However the Panama fungus is still to be reckoned with. Organic bananas sold in the West are grown without pesticides but the yield is greatly reduced.
Some opponents of GM consider it “frankenfood”, and there are other nay sayers who contend the situation is not dire. They are almost as adamant as those folks who claim that global warming is a hoax. Indeed, even the sources at Snopes.Com (an investigative site exposing urban legends) maintain that there are other disease control alternatives such as “the development of plants resistant to the main diseases, the employment of friendly bacteria, fungi, and other micro-organisms”. They recognize the threat of a banana plague but feel it is not imminent and that it can be avoided with strict enforcement that prohibit of the export of pathogen infected soil and banana suckers to new plantations and growing fields.
It is a strong case that Koeppel makes about the threat of extinction being real. In addition to the above information about science, genetic codes, political intrigues, and globalization, he also looks into the banana trade, marketing, cultural aspects, injustices with violence, historical lethal events in the harvesting and transporting, and economic imperialism.
Who knew that this iconic golden fruit, which has so much to offer the world, has such a history and who’s future is now a mystery? Certainly not I. But if I don’t slip on a banana peel Koeppel’s book will be my next read.
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/03/15/columnists/doc47daeaf1c08e1843317824.txt
Saturday, March 01, 2008
2/27/08
George, Abe, and La-Z-Boys
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions By Herb Kandel
Last week was President’s Day. It used to be the day honoring Presidents Washington and Lincoln but has evolved to days of hawking furniture and mattress sales. Here we are in the midst of a heating up presidential nomination race followed by the upcoming campaign of the chosen nominees. The field is narrowing down as the each state tallies it’s votes. Whomever the winner may be he/she will be scrutinized minutely and findings will be reported.
Long before all those bedroom suites and recliners started getting advertising space previous persons holding the presidential office were examined also, but the findings were not as widely broadcast. Here are some little known facts about the presidents for whom this day was named.
Washington:
In the winter of 1775 General George Washington wrote to John Hancock, president of the Continental Congress, warning of bioterrorism. He was concerned that his troops might become the victims of smallpox spread by the British. He sent this message to members of Congress also. His contention was never proven but during the period between 1775- 1782 there were more deaths attributed to smallpox than those who died in battle.
Tales of Washington having wooden teeth are false. At his inauguration he had only one tooth, however at other times he had dentures made of human teeth, animal teeth, ivory, and lead.
He was the only president elected unanimously, and the only president who didn't live in Washington, D.C. During his presidency. He was 6’2’’ tall, weighed 200 pounds and had size 13 shoes. All his achievements were done with no formal education.
Luck was with him as he had, before he was 30, smallpox, pleurisy, malaria, and dysentery. He fell off a raft in an icy river and came close to drowning. He was shot at. His coat bore four holes which bullets had punctured and two horses were shot from under him.
February 22 was his 276th birthday.
Lincoln:
Lincoln was the tallest president at 6’4’’; Madison the shortest at 5’4’’
In his tall stovepipe hat Lincoln at times carried letters, bills, and notes.
He was an outspoken nonbeliever and never belonged to an organized religion. The only time he made reference to it was in his 1846 congressional campaign. He said, “ That I am not a member of any Christian Church, is true; but I have never denied the truth of the Scriptures; and I have never spoken with intentional disrespect of religion in general or of any denomination of Christians in particular.”
In 1849 he obtained a patent for his invention of a device for lifting ships over shoals using “buoyant air chambers”. He was the only patent holding president .
He did not trust the accuracy of the press. In his “House divided” speech he personally went to the newspaper office to proofread the galleys of the speech.
At his inaugural reception in 1865, Fredrick Douglass, the former slave and outspoken abolitionist, was Lincoln’s invited guest but was forced out by a policeman at the entrance. Douglass tried again this time catching Lincoln’s eye. “ Here comes my friend Douglass,” exclaimed Abe as he left guests and took Douglass by the hand to lead him in.
Twelve years before the 1st women’s rights convention in 1848, Lincoln as a State legislator, endorsed extending the vote to women.
He and his wife participated in séances in the White House after the death of his son Willie. They wanted to communicate with him.
February 12 was his 199th birthday.
Other presidential trivia:
There have been eight presidents who were not born American but were British subjects Washington, J. Adams, Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, J. Q. Adams, Jackson, and W. Harrison.
Being a Harvard alumni is the best bet for the office. Five presidents studied there, J. Adams, J. Q. Adams, T. Roosevelt, F. Roosevelt, and Kennedy. (Clinton -Yale, McCain- U.S. Naval Academy, Obama - Harvard)
So as we check all the ads for sofas and dining room furniture we should remember that it was George and Abe that made it all possible.
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/02/27/columnists/doc47c4804abf3e6239634811.txt
George, Abe, and La-Z-Boys
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions By Herb Kandel
Last week was President’s Day. It used to be the day honoring Presidents Washington and Lincoln but has evolved to days of hawking furniture and mattress sales. Here we are in the midst of a heating up presidential nomination race followed by the upcoming campaign of the chosen nominees. The field is narrowing down as the each state tallies it’s votes. Whomever the winner may be he/she will be scrutinized minutely and findings will be reported.
Long before all those bedroom suites and recliners started getting advertising space previous persons holding the presidential office were examined also, but the findings were not as widely broadcast. Here are some little known facts about the presidents for whom this day was named.
Washington:
In the winter of 1775 General George Washington wrote to John Hancock, president of the Continental Congress, warning of bioterrorism. He was concerned that his troops might become the victims of smallpox spread by the British. He sent this message to members of Congress also. His contention was never proven but during the period between 1775- 1782 there were more deaths attributed to smallpox than those who died in battle.
Tales of Washington having wooden teeth are false. At his inauguration he had only one tooth, however at other times he had dentures made of human teeth, animal teeth, ivory, and lead.
He was the only president elected unanimously, and the only president who didn't live in Washington, D.C. During his presidency. He was 6’2’’ tall, weighed 200 pounds and had size 13 shoes. All his achievements were done with no formal education.
Luck was with him as he had, before he was 30, smallpox, pleurisy, malaria, and dysentery. He fell off a raft in an icy river and came close to drowning. He was shot at. His coat bore four holes which bullets had punctured and two horses were shot from under him.
February 22 was his 276th birthday.
Lincoln:
Lincoln was the tallest president at 6’4’’; Madison the shortest at 5’4’’
In his tall stovepipe hat Lincoln at times carried letters, bills, and notes.
He was an outspoken nonbeliever and never belonged to an organized religion. The only time he made reference to it was in his 1846 congressional campaign. He said, “ That I am not a member of any Christian Church, is true; but I have never denied the truth of the Scriptures; and I have never spoken with intentional disrespect of religion in general or of any denomination of Christians in particular.”
In 1849 he obtained a patent for his invention of a device for lifting ships over shoals using “buoyant air chambers”. He was the only patent holding president .
He did not trust the accuracy of the press. In his “House divided” speech he personally went to the newspaper office to proofread the galleys of the speech.
At his inaugural reception in 1865, Fredrick Douglass, the former slave and outspoken abolitionist, was Lincoln’s invited guest but was forced out by a policeman at the entrance. Douglass tried again this time catching Lincoln’s eye. “ Here comes my friend Douglass,” exclaimed Abe as he left guests and took Douglass by the hand to lead him in.
Twelve years before the 1st women’s rights convention in 1848, Lincoln as a State legislator, endorsed extending the vote to women.
He and his wife participated in séances in the White House after the death of his son Willie. They wanted to communicate with him.
February 12 was his 199th birthday.
Other presidential trivia:
There have been eight presidents who were not born American but were British subjects Washington, J. Adams, Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, J. Q. Adams, Jackson, and W. Harrison.
Being a Harvard alumni is the best bet for the office. Five presidents studied there, J. Adams, J. Q. Adams, T. Roosevelt, F. Roosevelt, and Kennedy. (Clinton -Yale, McCain- U.S. Naval Academy, Obama - Harvard)
So as we check all the ads for sofas and dining room furniture we should remember that it was George and Abe that made it all possible.
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/02/27/columnists/doc47c4804abf3e6239634811.txt
2/13/08
Love. Ah, sweet love
Tri-O’s
Oddities, Observations, and Opinions By Herb Kandel
A recent cover story in TIME magazine was “The Science of Romance”. Many scientific theories were put forth as to how and why we humans love. They went in depth about studies which show how our senses come into play while seeking partners. One of the more significant (and primal), they say, is that “a possible partner smells right”, along with how they look, sound, and ‘taste’ (a compound in saliva is another trigger) . But it is in the brain where all the pieces of the five senses meet then combine with natural opioids and surging hormones to generate the glowing overall ‘feel good’ phenomenon.
Let’s put aside this analytical explanation along with the microscopic approach and be like Annie Oakley (in “ Annie Get Your Gun”) by --"Doin' What Comes Natur'lly" and rely on the tried, true, and tested way of expressing emotions to the recipients of our Valentine greetings.
Sure, all those cards,flower bouquets, and chocolate bon-bons are effective but the ones that make the point are those tiny colored conversation heart shaped candy pieces with a message on each one.
The NECCO (New England Confectionery Company) has been making Sweethearts ® Conversation Hearts since the Civil War and manufactures eight billion hearts each year making them the #1 non-chocolate Valentine’s Day candy (they say if placed back to back the line would go from New York to Los Angeles and back again, 5924 miles of pastel colored line).
NECCO introduces 10 new sayings a year all printed in upper case. You can make up your own (but you will have to buy a production run of about 1.7 million candy hearts). This reminds me of the story I heard of unrequited love where in fifth grade little Johnny gave curly haired Jenny a pink candy heart which said “BE MINE”. She in turn searched through her package, picked out a green one, handed it to him, and he wilted. It said, “GET LOST”. Which leads me to the “heart” of this piece--What would certain people put on the candy heart to give to someone else?
Hillary to Barack: NO YOU CAN'T! -- Barack/Hillary: YES I CAN!
Hillary to Barack: WAIT YOUR TURN -- Barack/Hillary: WAITING SUCKS
Barack to Hillary: HERE I COME --Hillary/Barack: START PLAN B (BILL)
Bill to Hillary: NEGATIVE POSITIVELY? -- Hillary/Bill: POSITIVELY NEGATVE!
McCain to Romney: DROP OUT -- Romney/McCain: OVER AND OUT
McCain to Huckabee: I'M A MONKEY’S UNCLE -- Huckabee/McCain: NO, YOU'RE NOT!
G.W. Bush to G.H.W. Bush: READ MY QUIPS --G.H./G.W: WHO’S YOUR DADDY?
Rush Limbaugh to Al Gore: COOL IT --A/R: LEARN TO SWIM
Tom Brady to Eli Manning: 18 GOING TO 19 -- Eli/Tom: 17 TO 14! NA NA
Al Sharpton to Don Imus: NO MO’ HO -- D/A: YO, BRO, I KNOW
Don Siegelman to Bob Riley: LET ME OUT! -- B/D: CONSPIRACY WORKS, RIGHT?
Barry Bonds to Hank Aaron: PUMP ME UP -- H/B: SWING NATURAL
Scarlett to Rhett: DRAPES TO DRESSES -- R/S: DAMN CERTAIN CURTAINS
Mary Todd Lincoln to Abe: NO PLAY TONIGHT -- A/M: SHOWTIME!
Q. Elizabeth Barrett Browning: HOW DO I LOVE THEE?
A. Elvis: LOVE ME TENDER
James Bond: SHAKEN NOT STIRED
Larry King: WHAT’S THE QUESTION?
Dick Cheney: MASS DESTRUCTIVELY
Joan Rivers: WITH NIP & TUCK
Fred Thompson: LAWFULLY & ORDERLY
Rudy Giuliani: LEADER TO LOSER
O.J. Simpson: LIKE A GLOVE
Biggest Loser: COUNT THE WEIGHS
Homer Simpson: EAT MY SHORTS
We've gone from deep probing science to concise wording on candy just to wish you a requited Sweet and Happy Valentine’s Day.
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/02/13/columnists/doc47b203fd12255488009633.txt
Love. Ah, sweet love
Tri-O’s
Oddities, Observations, and Opinions By Herb Kandel
A recent cover story in TIME magazine was “The Science of Romance”. Many scientific theories were put forth as to how and why we humans love. They went in depth about studies which show how our senses come into play while seeking partners. One of the more significant (and primal), they say, is that “a possible partner smells right”, along with how they look, sound, and ‘taste’ (a compound in saliva is another trigger) . But it is in the brain where all the pieces of the five senses meet then combine with natural opioids and surging hormones to generate the glowing overall ‘feel good’ phenomenon.
Let’s put aside this analytical explanation along with the microscopic approach and be like Annie Oakley (in “ Annie Get Your Gun”) by --"Doin' What Comes Natur'lly" and rely on the tried, true, and tested way of expressing emotions to the recipients of our Valentine greetings.
Sure, all those cards,flower bouquets, and chocolate bon-bons are effective but the ones that make the point are those tiny colored conversation heart shaped candy pieces with a message on each one.
The NECCO (New England Confectionery Company) has been making Sweethearts ® Conversation Hearts since the Civil War and manufactures eight billion hearts each year making them the #1 non-chocolate Valentine’s Day candy (they say if placed back to back the line would go from New York to Los Angeles and back again, 5924 miles of pastel colored line).
NECCO introduces 10 new sayings a year all printed in upper case. You can make up your own (but you will have to buy a production run of about 1.7 million candy hearts). This reminds me of the story I heard of unrequited love where in fifth grade little Johnny gave curly haired Jenny a pink candy heart which said “BE MINE”. She in turn searched through her package, picked out a green one, handed it to him, and he wilted. It said, “GET LOST”. Which leads me to the “heart” of this piece--What would certain people put on the candy heart to give to someone else?
Hillary to Barack: NO YOU CAN'T! -- Barack/Hillary: YES I CAN!
Hillary to Barack: WAIT YOUR TURN -- Barack/Hillary: WAITING SUCKS
Barack to Hillary: HERE I COME --Hillary/Barack: START PLAN B (BILL)
Bill to Hillary: NEGATIVE POSITIVELY? -- Hillary/Bill: POSITIVELY NEGATVE!
McCain to Romney: DROP OUT -- Romney/McCain: OVER AND OUT
McCain to Huckabee: I'M A MONKEY’S UNCLE -- Huckabee/McCain: NO, YOU'RE NOT!
G.W. Bush to G.H.W. Bush: READ MY QUIPS --G.H./G.W: WHO’S YOUR DADDY?
Rush Limbaugh to Al Gore: COOL IT --A/R: LEARN TO SWIM
Tom Brady to Eli Manning: 18 GOING TO 19 -- Eli/Tom: 17 TO 14! NA NA
Al Sharpton to Don Imus: NO MO’ HO -- D/A: YO, BRO, I KNOW
Don Siegelman to Bob Riley: LET ME OUT! -- B/D: CONSPIRACY WORKS, RIGHT?
Barry Bonds to Hank Aaron: PUMP ME UP -- H/B: SWING NATURAL
Scarlett to Rhett: DRAPES TO DRESSES -- R/S: DAMN CERTAIN CURTAINS
Mary Todd Lincoln to Abe: NO PLAY TONIGHT -- A/M: SHOWTIME!
Q. Elizabeth Barrett Browning: HOW DO I LOVE THEE?
A. Elvis: LOVE ME TENDER
James Bond: SHAKEN NOT STIRED
Larry King: WHAT’S THE QUESTION?
Dick Cheney: MASS DESTRUCTIVELY
Joan Rivers: WITH NIP & TUCK
Fred Thompson: LAWFULLY & ORDERLY
Rudy Giuliani: LEADER TO LOSER
O.J. Simpson: LIKE A GLOVE
Biggest Loser: COUNT THE WEIGHS
Homer Simpson: EAT MY SHORTS
We've gone from deep probing science to concise wording on candy just to wish you a requited Sweet and Happy Valentine’s Day.
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/02/13/columnists/doc47b203fd12255488009633.txt
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