6/19/09

A world without people

Tri-Os
oddities, observations, and opinions

by Herb Kandel

From Shakespeare's Hamlet, “What a piece of work is a man! how noble in reason!/how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world! the paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust?”

Poor Hamlet, here again he can't make up his mind and is torn between mans closeness to divinity and the baseness of the people who are in his life.

The words are delivered melodically in the new revival of the recently Tony winning rock musical “Hair” to a toe-tapping staccato beat.

Whether mankind is angelic or somewhat less on the evolutionary scale it makes no difference to the premise of the new 10 part series currently being shown on The History Channel called “LIFE AFTER PEOPLE“

The Series begins in the moments after people disappear from planet Earth. The cause is not addressed - only the aftermath. As each hour, day, month, and year passes, the fate of a particular environment, city or theme is disclosed. With the aid of numerous special effects, and interviews from authorities in the “fields of engineering, botany, biology, geology, and archeology provide an unforgettable visual journey through the ultimately hypothetical.”

Humans may not be around forever, and now we can see in detail the world that will be left behind in 'Life After People.' Click on any particular episode to explore what would happen to our world after we are all gone at once. No body (‘body’ in the literal sense), be they embalmed, mummified, or cryogenically frozen will last. There will be no electrical power to sustain the temperature and humidity necessary for their preservation. Domestic pets and surviving animals will roam and revert to savagery as lethal viruses will doom them and plant life weaves its carpet over all things. Pythons battle alligators, plants strip oxygen from lakes, corrosion is rampant, all colossuses collapse and crumble.

Atlanta becomes buried in kudzu (no kidding!). Semi-tropical Houston reverts to the swamp. Miami is submerged. Phoenix is swept by sandstorms. Shanghai sinks. Las Vegas has roaming rat packs, not the entertaining kind.

Devoid of mankind, there is no one to provided maintenance, repair, and replacement of worn and deteriorating materials (i.e. concrete, wood, and steel). The weather, water, heat, freezing, with their constant expansion and contraction, will eat away at skyscrapers, bridges, and everything will yield to the force of gravity; to become more surface for plant life to blanket. There goes the Washington Monument, the Liberty Bell, all of the national treasures. The Mona Lisa and The Sistine Chapel ceiling dissolve with mold.

The series extends to centuries and then millions of years into the speculated future. It is fascinating, thought provoking and brings out the genius of the generations of mankind. “What a piece of work is Man”, indeed!

In a not so gloomy a vein let’s consider some lighter aspects of “Life After -----”

Life after shoes - Sure our soles would become callused from the terrain but don't the Kenyans win almost every marathon having practiced barefoot in their rugged country? What would my BH (Better Half) do? She would certainly gain a lot more closet space and money in her bank account.

Life after TV - A long time ago someone said that “radio was TV without a picture”. True enough. When you listen to radio the pictures in your head are usually more vivid than a Technicolor movie or plasma screen. Who knows……the art of conversation may return again.

Life after Twitter - People may expound ideas exceeding the 140 character limit. Who is interested in someone picking up a six-pack at the grocery or searching for a bathroom while on a new city visit? Why are the airways and broadbands cluttered with this garbage? Think of the time saved for both sender and receiver.

Life after cockroaches - I really can't imagine that! They may be the only creatures moving on earth millenniums after man’s existence.

Life after politics - No more pesky robotic telephone calls, mean-spirited TV and newspaper ads, no more un-kept promises or juicy scandals.

Life after Lehman Brothers/Chrysler/ Pontiac/analog TV - Hey - that’s what happening NOW!

http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2009/06/20/columnists/doc4a37a4d1ae836981221515.txt

6/3/09

Flip the tassel, 2009 grads
TRI-Os: Oddities, observations and opinions

Thank you once again, Ye Olde School of Hard Knocks, for the invitation to address the graduating class for this, the fourth time. We have trudged together from your days as freshmen, or for political correctness should I say “fresh people”? Be that as it may, I will again try to stay on point and speak on subjects loud enough to keep the sandman at bay and you awake, alert, amused and a-thinking.

Life’s experiences qualified you for the credits toward your degree, your BS, Batchelor of Survival. It was earned by hard work traversing through life events of employment, home and family. During your and my tenure much has happened to gain our grade points leading to this commencement.

It seems like yesterday when the Danish newspaper published cartoons of Mohammed and incensed the Muslim world, when Donald Rumsfield resigned, when Ariel Sharon had a stoke and slipped into his present coma, when 12 miners died trapped in a mine in West Virginia and when Saddam Hussein was executed. Yes, and I’m sure you’ll also recall it was the mayor of Las Vegas who proclaimed Aug. 29, 2006 Paris Hilton Day!

This past year you have endured, and are currently experiencing, other major events: the downfall of Wall Street giants, major corporations downsizing and even declaring bankruptcy, a switch of political party majorities, a new history-making president, and the continuing war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Had anyone ever imagined that GM and Lehman Brothers would be candidates for extinction? That unemployment may go into double digits? Add to this the threat of global warming (implied or real). And then there’s your kid with thumb muscles bulging with all the tweeting and texting! Our plates are full!

It’s time to again to put common sense into practice. Recall the story of King Solomon who sought a magic ring that makes the happy wearer fail to remember his joy and the broken-hearted wearer forget his sorrows. When he was presented a plain gold ring it had the engraved words “This too shall pass.” It was then Solomon realized that all his wisdom, wealth and immense power were fleeting and temporary. It is best to concentrate on the “now.” Let us do the same.

All things change with time. SUVs will morph into fuel-efficient hybrids and Facebook into encrypted personal journals for the writers’ eyes only. Those pesky pixels and Googled electrons last a long time so be mindful of what goes onto Internet sites. Eyes around the world and for future generations will be able to dredge them up at a click , swipe, or touch or perhaps even a mentally transmitted command. “Don’t do anything that you wouldn’t want to see on the front page of the newspaper”　is an old adage that is as fresh as a newly hatched slick wet yellow chick. Remember, there-are no secrets in this world, so you are at the helm (for the most part) when it comes to personal privacy on the Internet.

You new grads of YOSOHK know to be wary and cautious of the many seemingly innocent offers, like extended auto warranties from robot phone voices, and you know to wait patiently for the end of the pitch when that voice says, “ Press ‘one’ to speak to a representative or press ‘two’ to remove your name from our call list.” And you press ‘two’ before you hang up. You toss the weekly tempting letters offering Zero APRs for new credit cards. You wait till tomorrow to order that item seen on QVC or HSN today to test if you really need it (instead of thinking “what should I buy?” You think, “what do I have that can be used?”). You compare prices on major purchases by computer checking. You combine chores so as not to make numerous shopping trips. You Turn off the PC if you won’t be using it for an hour or more. You lose a beautiful earring, so you put the one you have on a chain and wear it as a necklace. You turn off sprinklers when it rains and leave them off for at least two days following a heavy rain. You re-visit days of your youth as you forgo the clothes dryer to savor again the smell of the outdoors from the fresh crisp bed linen dried by the sun. You are pragmatic with almost all expenditures with the exception of your extraordinary, beautiful and talented toddler or grandchild. Right on! Way to go!

In closing, the words of legendary UCLA Coach John Wooden, “Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” 

And from me, “Remember to floss.”

Congratulations Class of ‘09.

Herb Kandel is an entrepreneur and a former human resources executive who lives in Fairhope. He can be contacted at hekand@gmail.com.

http://baldwincountynow.com/articles/2009/06/04/columnists/doc4a25739f47275102101084.txt