12/3/08

Free no more


Tri-O’s
Oddities, Observations, and Opinions
By
Herb Kandel

A few months ago US Airways began charging passengers $2 for bottled water and sodas and $1 for teas and coffees. Other major airlines did not follow the practice. A few “low-cost” carriers have been charging for beverages for several years. There are oxygen bars where you sniff the gaseous element via a nose hose at about $1 a minute, it also comes in “flavors”, i.e., peppermint, wintergreen, cranberry, etc.. Another form of its packaging is in cans, starting at $5 a pop.
So here we are shelling out for two necessities of life ---air and water. Where have all the free stuff gone? More and more the way of the dinosaur, I suspect.

Think back, it wasn't too long ago when you drove into a gasoline station and an attendant hopped out. “Fill ‘ER up with regular,” you'd say as he put the nozzle into the tank and set it on auto fill. Then he would wash and squeegee your windshield, rear window, head-lights, and outside mirror. You would pop the hood so he could check the oil level, and when it was done the air pressure in all the tires was taken and adjusted. The “Tiger in the Tank” fill cost about $ 6 (if your tank was near empty when you came in) and he often gave you a free key chain or other sales gift together with S&H green stamps as he tipped his cap and said, “Thank you”. Some of the stations later provided a free car wash.

All radio then was free too. A few years ago, as a freebie, when I bought my new 2004 Honda Accord it came with a 3 month trial subscription to XM Satellite Radio. Using it brings more than a hundred radio stations to my fingertips whenever I drive my car. As long as my receiver has an unobstructed view of the sky, anywhere in the country, I can listen to my stations continually. Not only many different music genres but also talk shows, TV news, comedy, sports, regional weather and traffic, informational, educational, drama, and old time radio. It provides the song information as to artist and title on a digital display. The monthly fee is $12.95 (it’s less for music only stations). This gives you a lot of choices but if you are like my BH (better Half) you will gravitate to only a few, or in her case just one (Show tunes). For local news and information you still need traditional free radio stations. The satellite radio industry continues to grow each year but new technology such as HD radio as well as Wi-If and WiMax streaming audio with local content may slow its progress. Ipods, cell phones, MP3’s add more diversity to the mixture of audio media.

When we bought our first RCA TV, with its bulls-eye logo that came on after midnight when broadcasting ended, there were only the three major networks and the DuMont Channel. All you needed to do was plug it into the wall socket and attach it to the outside roof/window antenna. Then along came the Zenith Space Command remote control which birthed the term “couch potato”. Now we have cable, premium channels, and satellites orbiting high above transmitting to the receiving dishes which provide umpteen channels for almost any interest-- from food to fantasy and comedy to courtroom. No longer free. The choices, packages, specials, deals, and promotions are as mind boggling as the Medicare drug plans. One needs only time enough and pockets deep enough to absorb all that is available.

There was a time when if you purchased 12 items the merchant would add another at no charge. It was called a “baker’s dozen”. In most of Louisiana when that little extra is added it is called “lagniappe”. Because of the soaring gasoline prices a few months ago, when it was selling for over $4 a gallon, some restaurants in order to defray the new expense started charging for the “sides” à la carte. If you wanted lettuce or tomatoes on your hamburger it would cost an additional 10 to 15 cents each, cheese added another 25 cents; each vegetable on your entrée carried a separate charge. Forget about such a thing as a “free lunch” even though we're talking about fringe foods.
Nowadays the “freebies” are few and far between. I have a friend who at the checkout in the supermarket hands to the clerk just one of the two same items from his cart that is advertised as “buy one get one free”. When the item is about to be scanned he tells the cashier that he only wants the “free” one. Someday he hopes it will work. In the meanwhile we may just have to reminisce about the days when essentials like air, water, sunshine, and the courtesy of a “Please” ,“Thank you”, and “May I help you?” were dispensed freely.
END
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/12/05/columnists/doc4935a1332acdc463253879.txt

11/19/08

Three Little Words

Tri-O's
Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel

Catching up with my reading took me to a July issue of the AARP Magazine (you know you've been a member much longer than you thought when you still keep the back issues). An article written by Abigail Thomas, who teaches memoir-writing seminars, piqued my curiosity when she wrote, “ Take any ten years of your life and reduce them to two pages. Every sentence has to be three words long …….you discover there’s nowhere to hide”. The gauntlet thus was tossed. This proved to be a challenge, however I wanted to expand this exercise to be more than a personal one. So how about chronicling social, cultural, and historical events from President 32 to President-elect 44? Hang on to your hats as the word trilogy rockets over 70 years.

“Socialist,” Limbaugh pounded. “No,” screamed Hannerty. “Never,” cried Boortz. “Impossible,” hissed Savage. “Yes,” said people. “Way to go.”
Dawn proved reliable. The sun rose. It was Wednesday. Nothing had happened. Yet, everything happened. Tuesday we voted. The world survived. History was made.
Many problems ahead. War in Iraq. Hostilities in Afghanistan. Iran rattles nukes. North Korea threatens. Economy in shambles. Dow-Jones in slide. Foreclosures still climbing. Healthcare getting sicker. Layoffs in industry. Bailouts proving uncertain. Chapter 11’s increase. Education grades flunked. Environmental issues abound. Global warming looms. Madonna seeks divorce. More clouds overhead?
Back we go.
Remember the 4o’s? We all survived. Nothing is 100%. There was offensiveness. The KKK flourished. Jim Crow thrived . Poll taxes collected. Father Coughlin ranted. Women’s workplace pigeonholed. Unequal pay common. Flu killed people. Polio was widespread. Hitler ruled Germany. The Holocaust raged. Dunkirk was evacuated. Churchill exuded confidence. Britain survived bombs. France folded quickly. Italy invaded Ethiopia. Lend-lease was born. Bundles for Britain. Blood, sweat, tears. Japan attacks Pearl. The draft passes. Losses in Pacific. Iwo flag raises. Victory at sea. Omaha Beach D-Day. The Russian winter. Nazi Germany falls. Celebrate V-E Day. Hiroshima gets radiation. Japan surrenders unconditionally. Cheer V-J Day. Shout Hallelujah, baby.! Better times coming.
Past is future.
FDR lifted spirits. Public works flourished. Infra-structure grew nationwide. Artists were sponsored. Financial institutions regulated. Farmers received subsidies. Social security enacted. Radio was king. “Happy Days” sung. Optimistic fireside chats. Faces smiled again. Plants assembled cars. Movies created stars. Joe Louis champ. Women donned pants. Jitterbug was born. Bing crooned tunes. Bob provided laughs. Kate Smith resonated. Dale Carnaegie influenced. Fred personified dancing. Ginger followed, backwards. No Third Term. No Fourth Term. Uncle Miltie wows.
Then came Korea.
38th Parallel drawn. Iron Curtain descends. Truman fires MacArthur. Truman beats Dewey. Birth of Israel. We like Ike. Berlin wall erected. Elvis rocks country. Joe weds Marilyn. LSD changes moods. Sputnik circles Earth. Brooklyn Dodgers move. Camelot in Washington. Cuban missal crises. JFK did Dallas. LBJ escalates “Nam. Britain’s Beatles beguile. Schoolhouse door blocked. Hippies love “Hair”. ‘68 took Martin. Sirhan shot Bobby. Armstrong on moon. Nixon “not crook”. Pet rocks patted. Roe verses Wade. Watergate emasculates President. Hula hoops twirl. Ford pardons Nixon. Iran’s Ayatollah returns. Long gas lines. Hostages defeat Carter. Reagan communicates effectively. Apple introduces Mac. “Just say, No”. Cold War ends. Berlin wall dismantled. Oklahoma City bombed. Horton beats Dukakis. Bush frees Kuwait. “No new taxes”. Clinton’s clout clinches. Intern causes impeachment. “Is” is not. Chads hang Gore. Court backs "W". 9/11 shakes nation. Iraq harbors WMD’s. “Mission Accomplished” unfurled. Katrina cripples Crescent. Oil prices soar. War still debilitates.
We’re here now.
New leadership steers. Today we hope. Smart leaders prevail. Things work out. Cookies will crumble. Change will come. One nation undivided. Prayers go out.
We all need.
Love is all.
Time flashed by. What a ride!
END
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/11/20/columnists/doc49231dd851678387764294.txt

11/5/08

POTUS Memory Lane
TRI-Os: Oddities, Observations and Opinions
By Herb Kandel

This is being written three days before Election Day, so by now we know who the next president will be (except if it‘s another chad/cliff-hanger as was Gore vs. Bush in 2000). Whether or not your choice was the one who will take the oath of office, we can all give a great sigh of relief by no longer having to sit through those political commercial ads telling us how bad and nasty their opponent is/was. Then the inevitable ritual: As soon as the votes are tallied, verified and accepted, the once former challengers are “friends” again asking for unity and to “come together” in conciliatory speeches. It happens every four years.

Let’s stroll down Memory Lane and revisit some of the outcomes of past elections and explore some trivia along the way:

George Washington and James Monroe were the only presidents to have won in every sate, but there were not as many states then.
Monroe had a total of 87,343 popular votes in the 24 states, and he ran unopposed in 1820.
Top winners with a win in 49 states are Richard Nixon (lost in Massachusetts) and Ronald Reagan (lost in Minnesota). Runner-up is Franklin Roosevelt in 1936; he won 46 states, which was every state, at that time, except Maine and Vermont.
The last third-party presidential candidate to win a state was George Wallace in 1968. As the American Independent Party choice, he won five states: Louisiana, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama and Georgia. Previously, in 1948, Strom Thurmond won Louisiana, Alabama, Mississippi And South Carolina.
You may think of California as a blue state, but from 1960 to 2004, in all those 12 presidential bouts, they only voted Democratic five times (1964, 1992, 1996, 2000 and 2004).
Speaking of 1960-2004 presidential races, the Republicans won each time in Idaho, Indiana, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, South Dakota, Utah and Alaska.
Franklin Roosevelt could count on the “solid South” because they had voted Democratic since reconstruction. The first Republican to put a crack in that solidity was Warren Harding in 1920, winning Tennessee by a slim margin. Barry Goldwater’s 1964 campaign put back the “solid” to the South, but on the red side. He prevailed in his home state of Arizona, and the only other states where he was victorious were in the South: Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia and South Carolina.
Q: How are Al Gore, George McGovern, Al Smith and William Howard Taft similar?
A: They lost their home state in their presidential bids.
The only state that voted Democratic in the last seven presidential elections (1980 to 2004) is Minnesota.
The party who has won in more presidential elections is the Republicans: Score 23 terms to 20, and the last president who was not major party affiliated was Millard Fillmore in 1850, he ran as a Whig.
When Theodore Roosevelt split with the Republicans in 1912 and ran as the candidate of the Progressive (Bull Moose) Party, the Republicans came in third. Woodrow Wilson won.
As far as presidents elected to two terms, the Republicans beat the Democrats seven (Lincoln, Grant, McKinley, Eisenhower, Nixon, Reagan and George W. Bush) to five (Jackson, Cleveland, Wilson, FDR and Clinton).
When none of the four candidates in 1824 received an electoral majority, although Andrew Jackson got the majority of the popular vote, the House of Representatives chose John Quincy Adams, by ONE vote.
Only four sitting vice presidents have won the high office: John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, Martin Van Buren and George H.W. Bush.
It would take only the 11 most populated states to have a total of 271 electoral college votes and win the election. Any candidate could win all 39 other states (and D.C.) and still lose.

Presidential Firsts:
To grow the first tomatoes in America: Thomas Jefferson
Photograph of an American president,: John Quincy Adams (in 1843, it was taken 14 years after he left office)
Photograph of a sitting president while in office: James Polk
To ride on a train: Andrew Jackson
To ride in an automobile: Theodore Roosevelt
To fly in an airplane: Theodore Roosevelt
To use a helicopter on the White House lawn: Dwight Eisenhower
To travel outside the country while in office: Theodore Roosevelt
To have a bathtub with running water in the White House: Millard Fillmore
To install a radio in the White House: Warren Harding
To broadcast from the White House: Calvin Coolidge
To have a telephone in the White House: Rutherford B. Hayes
To appear on television : Franklin Roosevelt
To appoint a woman as a cabinet member: Franklin Roosevelt
To appoint an African-American as a cabinet member: Lyndon Johnson
To have a child born in the White House: Grover Cleveland

Then there was George Washington who owned and operated the largest distillery at that time with five stills and a boiler. Is it any wonder than that he was eulogized as being “First in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”

Herb Kandel is an entrepreneur and a former human resources executive who lives in Fairhope. He can be contacted at hekan@mail.com

10/25/08

Celestial Perspectives

TRI-O’s:
Oddities, observations & opinionsBy Herb Kandel

Prior to Jay Leno hosting The Tonight Show there was Johnny Carson and Jack Paar. This format originated in 1953 by Steve Allen. Allen wrote over 50 books and composed more than 6000 songs. Even with this vast body of work he considered his best a series he wrote for PBS from 1977-1981 titled Meeting of Minds. It was a roundtable discussion with Allen talking to four legendary guests from history. Dialog was from their writing or quotes which were germane to the discussion topic, or was inferred from their individual history. Utilizing this format we too can look in and eavesdrop on our own roundtable, as we have done in the past.

We hover above the celestial caucus where we listen in on the spirited conversation of the participants utilizing their diverse backgrounds, knowledge, intellect, and experience from their times to critique and conjecture as they exchange ideas on contemporary issues.

The four ponder the presidential campaign. Seated are: Jackie Robinson, major league baseball player; Napoleon Bonaparte, French Emperor, Andrew Jackson, seventh President of the United States, and Scarlett O‘Hara (Hamilton Kennedy Butler), Southern belle.

Jackson: I have to give that John McCain credit for living through those years as a POW. I know how he felt.
Robinson: What do you mean?
Jackson: See this scar on my forehead and left hand? When I was 13 my older brother Robert and I fought in the Revolutionary War and were captured by the British. While prisoners we were ordered to clean the boots of a British officer. I refused. The officer drew his sword and slashed me as I raised my hand in defense. Robert refused also and was sent flying across the room from the officer’s wallop. We both contracted smallpox there and Robert died, he was 15. My other brother, Hugh, also a soldier, died two years before, he was 16. So I know how McCain feels about war it’s consequences.
Bonaparte: Oui! I too was a prisoner, twice. After I abdicated they sent me to the island of Elba to be “ruler” but this was merely a ploy to keep me from my supporters. Later I returned and waged another war that ended with my defeat Waterloo, only because we were outnumbered almost two to one. Then they exiled me to St. Helena.
Robinson: I almost became a prisoner of the U.S. Army. I was court-martialed for not moving to the back of a bus. I was just standing up for my dignity. The charges were dismissed but it left it’s mark. Later when I played for the Brooklyn Dodgers I had a preacher to help me not hamper me. We had a pitcher called Preacher Roe who had a 22-3 won-loss record in 1951. Too bad Obama had Reverend Wright and not Preacher Roe on his side (no relation to Roe V Wade). Say, Miss Scarlett, have you ever been imprisoned?
O‘Hara: No, indeed! But I did visit Mr. Butler when he was a prisoner. I wore a beautiful green velvet dress, newly made from drapes, to impress him. I do believe he saw through my guise. Perhaps I should have worn “traveling pants” like Hillary. Although they didn't seem to help her. Bless her heart.
Jackson: Do you think she was too ambitious?
O’Hara: Lordy, no! She just proved that strong women can achieve (having a husband who is a former president helped). We should be have equal rights along with compensation. I myself ran a lumber mill during reconstruction and still managed to be a lady. Sarah Palin has five children, is governor of a state, hunts, fishes, can put lip rouge on animals, and nevertheless seeks to be second in line to become President. I do declare it took a brave person to chose her as a running mate.
Bonaparte: When French law was based on my Code women could not make contracts or have bank accounts in their own name. They were dependents to be educated mainly in those areas to make them good wives in domestic skills and religious devotion.
O’Hara: Fiddle De Dee! You were just trying to get even because your wife Josephine cheated on you when you were off fighting that silly war in Italy. Anyway, you got married again. Same as John McCain and Andrew here.
Jackson: Yes, but I remarried my beloved Rachel. She thought her first husband obtained a divorce when we first married in 1791, however he had only asked for permission to file, and he sued on grounds of adultery. After the divorce was granted, we remarried in 1794. It was an honest mistake, but whispers of adultery and bigamy abounded, and neither of us was unfaithful. Many can attest that I was quick to take offense at, and ready to avenge, any slight to her.
Robinson: What a coincidence! My wife’s name is Rachel also, and Michelle Obama’s maiden name is Robinson. Both are woman of enormous accomplishments in education, profession, and whose husbands broke the color barrier in sports and politics. What do you think of the possibility of Michelle as First Lady?
Jackson: Our government is founded upon the intelligence of the people. I for one do not despair of the republic. I have great confidence in the virtue of the great majority of the people, and I cannot fear the result.
Bonaparte:One should never forbid what one lacks the power to prevent. Victory belongs to the most persevering but women are nothing but machines for producing children.
O’Hara: I’ll think about that tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day.

END

http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/10/25/columnists/doc48ffa087df4ed539301362.txt

10/11/08

Help wanted

TRI-Os
Oddities, observations & OpinionsBy Herb Kandel


The process started officially in January with the Iowa caucuses, the last nominating votes for the presidential preference were cast in June, when Montana, New Mexico, and South Dakota voters went to the polls. One by one the bevy of bureaucrats dropped out (like sand through the hour glass, so was the daze of our contenders when their votes fell short). And then there were two main finalists.

What if the selection process Were different? Let’s say the choice for the persons nominated was given to folks experienced and trained in presenting qualified aspirants for specific positions in which they excel. The voters would choose from those selected by the imaginary, specialized firm of Professional Executive Recruiters for Presidents (PERP). It is their task to submit a short list of the best and brightest by matching candidates to the job description while weeding out the weaker ones.

Classified ads, placed in the proper media read:

"Help Wanted President of the United States.
Job Description
Minimum Requirements: Must be at least 35 years old, Must be a natural born citizen of the United States, Must have lived in the United States for at least 14 years.
Term of Employment: 4 years, with the possibility of a second 4 years
Salary: $400,000 plus $ 50,000 expenses, free room and board ( The White House has 132 rooms, 32 bathrooms, a movie theater, bowling alley, billiards room, tennis court, jogging track, putting greens, and Camp David, the presidential retreat)Job Responsibilities: Command the armed forces of the country, Choose cabinet members, Meet with leaders of foreign countries, Make treaties with foreign countries, Appoint judges and ambassadors, Sign bills into law and veto bills, Propose new laws, Protect and defend the laws of the United States, Pardon criminals, Report to Congress once a year.
Miscellaneous Responsibilities: Must remain on call twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, for the term duration. Frequent travel will be required. Will also manage the operations and personnel of numerous agencies and approximately three million civilian employees. Personal integrity along with a strong moral code are needed. The leadership ability to address and assess complex issues then formulate wise decisions with the aid of a team of advisors. Communication skills are a must so as to be equally at ease at a NASCAR rally as well as the Metropolitan Opera. To be able to withstand constant scrutinization of both private and public life. To have the physical vigor and emotional flexibility to work in a sometimes pressure-cooker situation that can effect millions of lives worldwide. Upon swearing in the chosen candidate will immediately have to contend with a war waging halfway around the world and an economy in turmoil.
Only those qualified as above need apply. Send resume and references."

Then the culling and recruiting process starts. Resumes are perused, those less than two pages and those written in crayon are immediately discarded. PERP, trough it’s network of contacts, gets in touch with influential people from business, industry, labor, the arts, education, law, health care, agriculture, politics, and the military. They measure and give credits for the required characteristics, I.e., public service, management, decision making, and global understanding. Nationwide inquiries, reference checking, and the intensive vetting procedure further narrows the field. The persons emerging from this funneling are those with charismatic personalities, communication skills capable of hitting home runs in 30 second TV ads, show positive personal character traits, and the agility to reverse the voters thinking, without appearing defensive, of accusations that opponents have made.

When the PERP choices are made they may not be too different from the ones that came through the regular primary and caucus route. However when all is said and done, after reading the job description, the question may not be how many from which we can chose, but rather, why anyone would want the job?


http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/10/11/columnists/doc48efbf01236d6746331736.txt

9/27/28

Krakatoa and Ike

TrI-O's:
Oddities, observations & opinions
By Herb Kandel

Here we are approaching the tail end of the hurricane season having made it trough another year where our portion of the gulf coast has been spared. We wish that what happened to Houma, Louisiana, and Galveston/Houston, Texas due to Hurricanes Gustav and Ike never happens here, again. We had our own Ivan, Frederick, Opal, Katrina, and Georges. Now we can only hope and be prepared.

Another major series of disasters occurred 125 ago. In the 2003 book "KRAKATOA The Day the World Exploded: Aug. 23.1883" By Simon Winchester the author goes into a minute by minute account of the events. Winchester is a geologist and he goes deeply into the cause and consequences of the event. Many of the following facts and quotes are from his account.

When Mount St. Helens in Washington state blew its top in 1980 it was left intact. Even in 79 A.D. After Mt. Vesuvius buried the city of Pompeii, it too remained and people still live there. But when Krakatoa erupted it destroyed the entire mountain and two thirds of the island on which it sat.

Krakatoa was a volcanic island between Java and Sumatra in Indonesia. In May of 1883 a number of small eruptions sent high clouds of ash and dust. In August the "big bang" happened, that according to Wikipedia, "was the equivalent to 200 megatons of TNT about 13,000 times the size of the [atom] bomb that devastated Hiroshima, Japan". It is also said to have generated the loudest sound ever reported — heard distinctly and described in Perth, Australia (1930 miles away) and Mauritius (2968 miles). Picture, or rather imagine hearing, a sound made in New York and it being heard in Los Angeles without any electronic or other aid!

When the earth split and the cold seawater collided with the glowing molten rock, the resulting steam exploded. Then " six cubic miles of rock and ash were hurled more than 20 miles into the stratosphere". Shortly after, a thick muddy rain (water combined with the ash) together with broiling-hot fragments, some 3 feet in diameter, plummeted over hundreds of square miles.

Nobody on the island was killed because it was uninhabited. However a gigantic tsunami was birthed and spread its tentacles to Java and Sumatra. It submerged almost 300 towns and killed more than 36,000 people. Waves as high as 72 feet spared no tree, house, animal or person. When the water receded people returned to the shore villages. Hours later they were to experience an even greater inundation. A massive fast-traveling wave had been building. The ebbing tide was fueling it. Millions of gallons began piling up behind it raising it to 135 feet. The 10-story mountainous wave smashed down and whatever the first wave had missed was obliterated by this second. In a small village of 2,700 only two survived.

Nearly 100 miles away from the epicenter thousands of ships were destroyed and beached. Nine hours after the eruption and 2,000 miles away in Calcutta, riverboats were swamped. In South Africa, 5,000 miles away, mighty water swells threatened to dislodge steamship anchors.

Where Krakatoa "once stood, 2,600 feet tall, was now a hole in the ocean floor that was 1,000 feet deep. Krakatoa's explosion ³generated a climate-altering ash cloud that produced lurid red, blue, green and copper-colored sunsets, and lowered temperatures around the world."

Winchester also suggests a surprising influence that the volcano's eruption had: The Javanese were willing to believe that the gods were responsible for all the destruction of their islands and the death of innocents, which opened the door to Islamic militants and made modern Indonesia the largest Muslim country in the world.

Eruptions at the volcano since 1927 have built a new island in the same location, called Anak Krakatau (child of Krakatoa). This island has a radius of roughly 1 and 1/2 miles and a high point nearly 650 feet above sea level.

Though not yet there, we await to tear the October page from the calendar as we wish our neighbors to the west a quick recovery and return to normalcy. Then we can all let go that held-in sigh of relief in a simultaneous "whoosh" so forceful as to shake a cumulus cloud in the sky.

END

Personal Note: This column marks the start of the fourth year of Tri-O¹s. Many thanks to those who have contacted me with kind words of comment, encouragement, and suggestions, you know who you are.

http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/09/27/columnists/doc48dd6201cd9f1923167477.txt

9/13/08

Close your eyes and imagine ........


Tri-O’s
Oddities, observations & opinions
By Herb Kandel

Close your eyes and imagine ........

There is a scene near the end of the John Grisham 1989 film adaptation of his book thriller “A Time to Kill,” set in Mississippi, where the defense lawyer in his closing argument asks the jury to close their eyes and listen to a story. He is defending an African-American father who killed the white rapists of his daughter as he felt that the court would not punish the perpetrators. The attorney then weaves the detailed events of the rape and attempted murder of a 10-year-old girl. At the conclusion of the narrative, after the camera pans the grief-stricken faces of the jury, some whose shuttered eyes streak tears, he asks them to imagine the victim was white. This leads to a “not guilty” verdict.

The reason this climactic movie moment came to mind was an announcement by Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin and her husband that their 17-year-old unmarried daughter is pregnant. In the statement they asked that the “media respect our daughter and Levi’s [the baby’s father] privacy as has always been the tradition of children of candidates.” And rightly so.

In her acceptance speech at the Republican convention Governor Palin said, “From the inside, no family ever seems typical. That’s how it is with us. Our family has the same ups and downs as any other — the same challenges and the same joys. Sometimes even the greatest joys bring challenge.” That was the only alluded reference to the situation, and it was sufficient.

However, close your eyes and imagine it had been a daughter of Barack Obama in the same circumstances. What kind of a feeding frenzy would have evolved? Can you imagine the ditto-heads clamoring around Rush to spout forth about the teenage pregnancy rates and the inevitable mentioning, or the innuendos, if not outright diatribes pertaining to race. Then the Bill O’Reilly followers would be opining about the downfall of society as we know it. That would bring the Al Sharptons into the argument to further exacerbate a non-significant subject that had no justification being there in the first place.

Obama’s comment to the Palin pregnancy: “This shouldn’t be part of our politics. It has no relevance to Governor Palin’s performance as a governor or potential performance as a vice president. So I would strongly urge people to back off these kinds of stories.” OK, enough said.

Let’s go forward:
Consider the senator from the densely inhabited state. He is one of the youngest men to run for the office of president and picks as a running mate an older, influential fellow senator more experienced in areas in which he does not yet have expertise. His middle name hints a foreign ethnicity. His education includes prestigious schools along with honors. He is backed by a strong political machine. Charm, good looks, quick thinking and oratory skills are attributes readily acknowledged.During debates his coolness, issue information and wit give him the edge. His attractive, fashionable wife at times becomes the center of attention, and their children occasionally act as such to steal the spotlight. Because he was the first of his kind who is considered a serious contender for the office, it took an inspired speech articulating his viewpoint along with his aspirations to win the votes of the undecided and to give assurance to the skeptics.The prospect of enemies, both near and from afar, together with a looming worsening Middle East and Asian state of affairs, demand immediate attention. The economy calls for an influx of new business so he vows to decrease taxes for the middle income earners. His opponent is a former naval officer known for his temperament and cutting corners who will later choose a sitting governor as his vice president choice.

Now close you eyes and imagine that all the above happened to .................
John Fitzgerald Kennedy.

In actuality, it did.

Imagine that!

http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/09/14/columnists/doc48cd7d01eee75327060306.txt

8/23/08
The Tale of Willie No-write and the seven morphs

The actual Willie Bean

Note for out of town readers:
The mayor of Fairhope, Alabama is running for a third term. An unprecedented six candidates oppose him.
A local coffee shop owner put a picture of her Golden Lab pet, Willie Bean, in the store. A customer then wrote "For Mayor" beneath it. From there the spoof spread and made national news (including "The Late Show with David Letterman"), which you may have seen,

And so .............
*****************************************************************************
8/23/08

The Tale of Willie No-write and the seven morphs

TRI-O’s:Oddities, observations & opinions

By Herb Kandel

They called him Willie No-write because he couldn't. They could have easily called him Willie No-read for he had not that skill either. They zoned in on his illiteracy to make it appear he was neither competent nor intelligent enough to hold office. However, his innate keen senses, which were far superior to his detractors, gave him capabilities of knowing right from wrong then doing what’s right, and always being forthright. Deviousness, deception and guile were as foreign to him as feathers growing on apples. His honesty was viewed as the trait which caused the turnaround to the political campaign. Ah, but I get ahead of myself. Journey back to a galaxy far, far away and long, long ago.

Once again we are in the fiefdom of Fairtopia in the land of Baldwinia. The term of office for the lord mayor was expiring, and he sought another. His challenge was answered by six citizens who qualified within the time requirements. A late surprising entry, who missed the time frame to get his name on the ballot, was William, mongrel of Beanville; a quadruped whose write-in name on the mayoral ballot, although he was not eligible for the office, could siphon votes from the legitimate contenders. By doing this William could force a run-off election of the two top human vote-getters who might otherwise not have been in that position. In other words, he was the forerunner to what later would be recognized as a spoiler. Some claim he was the inspiration for the process that became known as “Nadering.”

Prior to William’s entry, all of the seven aspirants seemed confident of their chances to be the chosen one; or as they each pictured themselves “The fairest in Fairtopia.” Some considered themselves to be visionaries and marketers while several emphasized the pragmatics of those plans citing non-existing funds that would be necessary and pointing out unfairness by showing favoritism in shopping area emphasis. Among the ideas of attracting more business to the downtown area were, ferry boats from Mobileton to Fairtopia, downtown electric trolleys, billboards in surrounding towns, bicycle-sharing, and even a horse-driven carriage. Some drew the line at unrestrained growth and there was bickering, a few likely bogus, others quite genuine.

When momentum for William picked up and people were rallying round the pup, the seven aspirants realized the extent of the threat that was posed, i.e., of being “Nadered.” The prophets (called pollsters) also mirrored this image of the potential hindrance. The common jeopardy to them became devastatingly apparent. Some-thing had to be done.

Initially they had responded by ignoring the challenge. That failed. They then resorted to dismissing the effrontery by referring to their common threat as “Willie no-write.” This moniker was pinned on William to call attention to his limitations, to ridicule his candidacy, and to point out his naivete.

Try as they might, the seven could not stop the popular surge. It seemed the cards were dealt and upsets were in the making. Then something short of a miracle happened. The seven, almost as a body, came to a unanimous deduction about the rise of Willie: If all it took to arouse the populace to support them in their cause was to just tell the truth and do the right thing, why not do it?

In this manner it came to pass that the seven mayoral entrants morphed into exceptionally straightforward persons by emulating their former competitor. They campaigned and conducted themselves in a positive, constructive and ethical manner. William of Beanville, graciously bowed (actually bow-wowed) out, aware he was not qualified, but content in the knowledge that his dogged attributes influenced humans in conducting themselves in a manner that would have made Lassie proud.

So, there you have the inside skinny on Willie No-write and the seven morphs, who made history by participating in an election where all concerned played by the rules, said what they believed and later kept all their promises. The entire realm took note and hailed William of Beanville.

Alas, kind reader, recall that all things related above, while presented accurately is, nevertheless a tale.

END

To view article click below link:
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/08/23/columnists/doc48aeffccdcb27547000135.txt

8/13/08

Spit Happens

Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions By Herb Kandel

(note: editor changed my above title to "Company touts value of spit",see link at the bottom. Which do you think is better?)

Yes, folks, that same translucent liquid produced in our mouth around the clock. Those glands secrete two to four pints of saliva into our kisser every day. We know it aids digestion as it is the first phase of food processing in our body, it is a pal of the tongue by wetting food for the taste buds to perform their task, it makes swallowing a lot easier (imagine trying to eat a pizza without there being saliva), your teeth are constantly bathed by it, and it helps battle mouth infections. Not to mention the component in sealing that birthday card envelope .

Most of the time we keep our watery enzymed friend to ourselves swallowing unconsciously. Baseball players, however, seem to be the exception. Drool on the pillow or on the baby’s chin is a reminder that the glands are working. In Beijing, if you expectorate expect to pay a fine of up to 50 yuan (about $6.50, the approximate wage of ½ day for the average worker) and in Shanghai it is 200 yuan; for not only do they want to seem more hospitable (no pun) but they are also fighting Sars (Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome) and want to indoctrinate citizens with more hygienic habits.

Why am I going down this slippery saliva slope? Well, with all the above listed good things about our ever present fluid I recently discovered another highly significant one. What if you were told that a heart attack was probable in your future? What if you learned you have a predisposition to Diabetes? Prostate Cancer? Alzheimer’s? Would you want to know about it so as to take steps to help yourself? Well, providing a sample of your saliva, and paying a fee (more about this later) will give you information to assess your health condition.

Genetic tests by Navigenics Inc. Of Redwood Shores, California makes this information available to individuals so that they can make informed decisions as to their own well being. It is a new era of personalized medical information that is being ushered in, and you will be hearing a lot more about it . There is no scheduled appointment and no waiting room wait. The test is called Health Compass and is available directly to the purchaser via the Internet.

They cover 21 conditions from abdominal aneurysm to rheumatoid arthritis with breast, prostate, lung, and colon cancer among them. From the saliva DNA sample they scan your complete genome to give you a picture of your genetic makeup. They test for health conditions that you can do something about so the “condition can be prevented, detected early or treated. That means that while we show you your genetic risk, you can still affect your overall risk by taking action.” The team of Ph.D. Geneticists selects genetic risk markers that have been validated by multiple studies and have been published in peer-reviewed scientific journals.

To ensure the quality and accuracy they use a government-certified laboratory that has rigorous federal regulations. “We subject the sample processing to repeated quality checks and stringent data verification procedures.” For privacy, the samples sent to the lab are identified only by a bar code. The lab tests for nearly 2 million genetic markers, including almost a million “single nucleotide polymorphisms. These are one-letter variations in your DNA that can serve as markers for disease risk.”

Navigenics then interpret and checks the results, they are posted to a secure Web site, where only the consumer can view them, usually in six to eight weeks. Then a designated Genetic Counselor will go through your report with you, They give you a toll-free number to ensure continuity for the same counselor. “Now that you have been given insight into your potential genetic risks, our goal is to empower you to take action.--We believe that the information we give you can help you work with your doctor to detect potential conditions early.”

Their service does not end with the initial scan and consultation. “For as long as you remain a member, you will get updates via e-mail about new health information as it becomes available and passes our screening process.” The fee for the first year of service is (nothing to spit at) $2500 and the ongoing subscription rate is $250 per year.

There are some medical professionals who are concerned with patients coming in and waving DNA profiles seeking preventive methods based on categorized risks. This may take the form of unnecessary tests and a patient learning about a slight increase in risk might experience uncalled for levels of anxiety. There are also questions as to a possible disruption of the doctor/patient relationship, privacy issues concerning insurers and employers using such information, and selling the genetic data to drug companies that require such statistics to perform genetically targeted medical studies, among others.

There you have another avenue open to either affirm your health condition or learn of risks of which you might have been unaware. But, hey, if you are content just being who you are and going along as you are forget all of the above---- and keep your mouth shut.

http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/08/13/columnists/doc48a1db79a8476619888427.txt

7/30/08

The world’s largest Chapstick


TRI-O’sOddities, observations & opinions
By Herb Kandel



Will Rogers, humorist/author/commentator/philosopher, said “All I know is what I read in the newspapers.” To paraphrase him: All I know is what I glean from newspapers, magazines, TV, radio, the Internet, blogs, e-mail and occasional tarot cards (I quit smoke signals long ago, cold turkey). The message that is coming across those media lately is: What are the best ways to reduce American dependence on oil, have renewable energy sources and protect the environment?

We've all seen the T. Boone Pickens teaser ad about capturing energy from the wind and utilizing natural gas; we await his unveiling of the plan. Al Gore too has been espousing his views on energy and the environment. Last week I heard another expert who has made me rethink other aspects concerning the consequences of certain drilling and nuclear sources of energy.

The person being interviewed by Charlie Rose on PBS was Amory Lovins. He is the co-founder, chairman and chief scientist of the Rocky Mountain Institute in Colorado (RMI), a non-profit think and do tank that promotes the use of resources in ways that are efficient and restorative.They are engaged by both companies and governments as consultants to make more money for them while doing less harm to the environment. The other half of their support comes from individual donors and foundation grants. Their research in technologies in renewable energy, on oil dependence and resource planning places them on the cutting-edge. Lovins has been described as “one of the Western world’s most influential energy thinkers,” has written 29 books and is against nuclear power.

Lovins contends that electricity and oil have essentially nothing to do with each other. Less than 2 percent of our electricity is made from oil and this oil is the bottom of the barrel gooey sludge not used for fuel. Nuclear is grossly uneconomic and its revival is “a very carefully fabricated illusion” as “it costs about three times as much as wind power ... While it cannot deliver the climate and security benefits claimed for it.”In 2006, renewables produced more electricity worldwide than nuclear. Now it produces a sixth of the world’s electricity. The U.S. Addition of wind capacity last year was more than the past five years of coal capacity combined. Private capital poured $71 billion into renewables while nuclear got zero. The market is saying that nuclear is not feasible when measured against renewable sources.

His thoughts on drilling are also enlightening.
“Making efficient cars is equivalent to finding an all-American Saudi Arabia under Detroit.” He continues, “It will save about eight-and-a-half million barrels a day, and it is inexhaustible, climate-safe and costing about 12 bucks a barrel.”

When prices were $20 a barrel, oil companies were not interested in drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR). At $120-$140 a barrel you would think it a no-brainer to drill there. However they are still not interested because the costs of drilling have gone up more than the oil price went up. The region has a hostile environment, the drilling is risky, and they could drill cheaper in almost any other place in the world.

Let’s put aside environmentalists’ reasons — forget the animals, the pristine beauty, the trees, the manmade routes to the sites, the refuse left behind — let’s just consider the security aspects.The only way to get the oil flowing south is through the Trans-Alaska Pipeline. It is an 800-mile pipeline mostly above ground. Jim Woolsey, former CIA director, has testified against the ANWR drilling on national security grounds. It’s what he refers to as “Uncle Sam’s ‘kick me’ sign.”

This pipeline, easily accessible by road and plane, is the most vulnerable part of the infrastructure and probably the longest terrorist target. It has sustained two botched bombings, has been shot at over 50 times, a drunk put a hole in it with a rifle shot and shut it down, and around Y2K, a disgruntled employee was caught about to blow up three key areas with homemade bombs.

If pumping stations or other vital points were attacked in the winter, if the flow through it was interrupted for about a week, Lovins claims “nine million barrels of hot oil congeals into the world’s largest Chapstick, then you can't pump anymore” (not to mention the cleanup).

So it seems that drilling offshore poses less of a security risk than ANWR and provides a more monetary incentive for the private sector. Of nuclear? Forget about it: uneconomical high cost for minor contributions. Renewables, i.e., wind, solar and hydro, appear to point the path to solutions.

But what do I know? After all “All I know is what I read in the newspapers.”


http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/07/30/columnists/doc488f7e337ee32470320435.txt

7/23/08

Porkey’s flight plight

TRI-O’s:Oddities, observations & opinions
By Herb Kandel



Now I’m not a person who thinks of Charles Darwin very often; in fact, hardly ever. However, last week the renowned English naturalist played a pivotal part in a seemingly totally unrelated domestic event. Here is how this scientist’s theories entered into a kitchen conversation.

My BH (Better Half) asked during our evening meal, “Honey, please pass me the spritz Asian salad dressing; and by the way the hose connection on the outside faucet is leaking and probably needs a new washer.”“Sure. I’ll take care of it tomorrow,” I said chomping a chicken leg.

“Promise? Last time it took you two weeks before you got around to replacing the broken gate hinge”
“Yes, but it was done. I always take care of things like that, don’t I? ” I said trumping her, I thought.

“Sure you do — just like pigs fly.”

I stopped in mid-chomp and that’s when Darwin came to mind.“Do I detect a note of sarcasm? And, incidentally, what makes you think pigs can’t fly just because they don‘t do that now?”

“What do you mean by that, Sherlock?” she asked as her eyes rolled heavenward, for she knew something profound was about to be launched from these lips, which speak but truth. Oh, before I forget, she calls me by that facetious name, Sherlock, when I’m about to give my take on a subject.

I handed her the spritz bottle and proceeded.“Well according to Darwin’s theory of adaptation, over the course of time species modify in ways that permit them to succeed, reproduce and thrive in their environment. Natural selection gives to the individual that adapts the better chance to survive, under particular environmental conditions, than others of the same species that do not adapt.”

“Pray tell what are you talking about?”

“For instance there were short- and long-necked giraffes, and through a string of mutations those giraffes with the long necks were able to feed on the taller trees foliage, while those with shorter necks could not. This eventually led to the disappearance of the giraffes with shorter necks, which died of poor nutrition, leading to starvation and fewer offspring. Darwin believed the purging of unfit individuals was the survival of the fittest and thus new and improved species evolved in new environments.”

“So you’re telling me that pigs will fly someday?” she added a “Ha!”

“It could very well be. Now think of what may happen if global warming took hold and the waters rose to cover more land area. Through adaptation over many generations man may develop more pores on the skin surface to dissipate perspiration; they may have three nostrils to breathe in more oxygen; webbed toes and fingers would aid in getting around in the surrounding water. Because of there being less land and fewer farms, those who have mastered deriving nutrition from algae, plants, grass and perhaps even tree bark will fare better than those who can only survive on meat, poultry and dairy products.
“New generations, with all the technical electronic communications, will have developed a double set of thumbs on each hand, a small pointy one to text message on the tiny keys, and the other strong elongated ones for acrobatic pole dancing and for holding on to the arms of the zooming jet chairs. Ears will be thicker, and everything audio will be louder as heavy rock bands will have destroyed the human hearing of delicate tones.”

Now for the clincher. I proceeded.“Animals such as swine will not be able to compete with humans for the scarce grain and other silage products that humans will then eat, so the pigs that survive will be those porkers who learn to eat high off the bog (so to speak), they will have to either grow tall, turn hooves into claws to learn to climb, or grow wings to get to the lofty edibles.
“So you see, in the future, pigs — according to Darwin — may someday fly. I rest my case,” I smiled smugly.
“Well, isn’t that all great to know” she stated. “Just get the washer for the hose before I make you sprout angel wings. And you can take out the trash while you’re at it, Sherlock.”

Th, th, th, that’s all folks!!
***************************************************
Note: For those folks who e-mailed and called about the cryptic initials on the time travel chair in the last column concerning the 4th of July. The “HGW” referred to H.G. Wells the author of “The Time Machine”

7/2/08

A leap forth of faith or The first Fourth


TRI-O’s:Oddities, observations & opinionsBy Herb Kandel


The BH (Better Half) and I were rummaging in a quaint antique store. There among the distressed furniture and curios was this beat-up wooden chair with a high back on which were some carved initials worn smooth. After a quick dusting, it provided a surprisingly firm and solid seating.

On each side were levers, much like the ones on modern recliners, three on the right and two on the left. The right arm rest had embedded in it three rows of dials, the left had two similar ones. Each dial had a pointer which rotated to the barely visible markings on the circumference of the dial.
Curiosity soon took hold. The creaky levers were shifted about and the rusted pointers, in need of WD-40, were turned. I closed my eyes and, as if by magic, my journey started. Come along with me to where this chair, now turned chariot, transported this rider.

The day was pleasant with a slight breeze. “What city is this?” I asked a man in knickers passing by.
“You are in Philadelphia, brother.”

“Can you tell me what that building is and why all the activity of folks milling around here?”

“You must be a newcomer to our city. That’s the State House and those men entering it, in the weskits, ruffles and wigs are the delegates to the Continental Congress. Two days ago, on Tuesday, July 2, they endorsed the idea of a Declaration of Independence. Today the Congress is to approve a final, edited version of the document.”

My newfound friend, Percy, and I went to the open window of the State House and listened to the debate conclusion and the morning vote. It was about 11 o'clock. Twelve colonies voted for it, and New York abstained. It was then ordered that the document be authenticated and printed. Only two people signed.

“That’s John Hancock, the president of Congress. The other is Charles Thompson, the secretary,” whispered Percy.

The Congress went on to other mundane business.“Percy,” I said in amazement, “they just passed the Declaration of Independence freeing us from the king and proclaiming a new country, the United Sates of America. Why are there no shouts and celebration?”

“Oh, they will when it is read aloud to the public on Monday, July 8 in the State House Yard. There will be parades, cannon discharges, drums, bonfires and bells clamoring.
"But you should have been here this past Monday and Tuesday. Monday was when John Dickinson, delegate from Pennsylvania, fought against a separation from England and wanted a reconciliation within the framework of the law. He abstained from voting and signing the document. He said of independence that it would be 'to brave the storm in a skiff made of paper.'
“He was opposed by John Adams, delegate from Massachusetts, who desired independence from the mother country even if it meant bloodshed. Adams’ impassioned speech (some say the greatest in his life) had Jefferson say ‘[it spoke] with a power of thought and expression that moved us from our seats.’

“Two crucial things then happened Tuesday, July 2: Caesar Rodney, Delaware delegate, a swing vote for independence showed up. One side of his face was covered by a silk scarf to hide the ravages of cancer, he had ridden 80 miles on horseback to vote to free his country. The other event was the two empty chairs belonging to John Dickinson and Robert Morris. Without their dissent, Pennsylvania voted for independence. So, at last, with the words and the votes the colonies declared their independence.
“Yes indeed, Adams later said that 'The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epocha in the history of America … to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations from one end of the continent to the other from this time forward forever more' ”

“And here I thought all along that this July 4 in 1776 was the day of tribute and celebration. What about the heat and flies we were told about?”

“Well we did have some scorchers, and there were plenty of horseflies from the stable nearby. In fact Tom Jefferson observed, 'That it is not at all unlikely that this debate will be ended not by the sharp logic of the delegates but by the even sharper bite of the horseflies,’ ”

Percy laughed at this and tapped me on the shoulder for emphasis. The tapping continued.
“Honey, wake up.” I opened my eyes. There was the BH’s hand on my shoulder. “You dozed off while I was gone. How could you do that in such an uncomfortable looking chair?”
“It wasn't so bad,” I said as I stepped away from the wooden relic. It was then that I more closely inspected the carved initials on the back piece, “HGW.”Nah, it couldn’t be! Me, a time traveler!!

Note: Though the trip was imaginary but the events are factual from “John Adams” by David McCullough.

http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/07/02/columnists/doc486a8968eb5f8913655322.txt

6/18/08

Thinking Out Loud In The Silence


Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel

Here is another of an occasional meandering, putting on paper the ricocheting thoughts that flash randomly inside one’s skull during the quiet wee hours before sleep sometimes turns them into dreams.

• I get a satisfying feeling when I stop at a traffic light and pull up next to the car that passed me a few miles back as if I was tethered to a stump.
  
• Red cars traveling on the highway always seem to be in a hurry and angry.
  
• Why do audiences find it funny when young children and even toddlers utter vulgarities?
  
• Do carousels still offer brass rings entitling its holder to a free ride?
  
• I still feel “Fat-Free Half and Half” is an oxymoron.
  
• It is a major oversight that Peter O’Toole never won an Oscar, with the exception of an honorary one.
  
• Why will dogs roll in the grass, and whatever matter lies in it, right after they are bathed?
  
• Blueberries among broccoli florets remind me of hydrangeas.
  
• Bob Costas is to sport casting what William F. Buckley was to news commentary: articulate, eloquent, erudite, witty, knowledgeable, and classy.
  
• You know you are in bad circumstances when your doctor, drug store, dentist, and cable service are on your telephone speed dial.
  
• Why is it when you drip paint performing a house project you are an awkward klutz, but when Jackson Pollack did it he was a genius?
  
• I can't imagine anyone approaching a person who has body piercing and not think of the pain involved.
  
• We’ve come a long way from the days of Edward R. Murrow, for if I am seeing right, one of the Mobile weekend TV anchors has a tongue stud. Yumpin’ Yimminee!
  
• If Barack Obama chooses Hillary Clinton as his running mate, it means that Bill will have no need to explain this Vice.
  
• As a master of sardonic and wry humor why does David Letterman resort to facial contortions to get laughs, and why does the audience respond with such enthusiasm? Can it be from the urging of the “Applause” prompt sign flashing?
  
• The same goes for Conan O’Brien with his opening frog jump and body schtick. He has some outstanding parodies and sketches but it seems his openings are there just to consume some time.
  
• I fear the day will be coming in the very near future when one person will say to another, “I remember when gas was only $5.50 a gallon.”
  
• Since wearing sandals most of the time donning socks and tying shoes is becoming a lost personal procedure. Neckties too went that same route years ago.
  
• It is written that John McCain, because of his POW imprisonment tortures, can not raise his arms to even comb his hair but if he has it his way he will have no problem placing his left hand on the Bible while elevating his right.
  
• Since the Constitution states no requirement that any book be used to administer the inauguration oath of office, sacred or otherwise, I guess the incoming President may or may not use the customary Bible.
  
• Some choices for inauguration texts on which to take the oath by a variety of contenders: John McCain, Red Badge of Courage; Barack Obama, No Country for Old Men; Al Gore, The Sun Also Rises; Hillary Clinton, Excuse Me, But I Was Next; John Edwards, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn; George W. Bush, Take Me To Truth: Undoing the Ego; Bill Clinton, Pinocchio or Playboy.

And now, at last, to sleep.

*************
To see the column online click below
Http://WWW.baldwincountynow.Com/articles/2008/06/19/columnists/doc48573598df90f814529990.txt

6/4/08

Herstory history

Tri-O's by Herb Kandel

Here we are again in an imaginary voyage to the celestial heavens. There sits Frederick Douglass chatting with Victoria Woodhull.
Douglass: Vickie do you see what is happening down there?
Woodhull: Indeed I do, Fred. Can you believe that it took 136 years for them to catch up with us?
Douglass: Right you are. Old Ulysses S. Grant was running for a second term in 1872 when we challenged him. That was a swell time. The Equal Rights Party nominated you, as the first women to run for President of the United States, and me, the first African-American, as your running mate. We sure raised a lot of eyebrows.
Woodhull: Although women could not vote. We still fought for the right. Remember when------( harp strings play ascending notes)

They said that there was a world of difference between men and women. For instance, we were “frail”, and our physical weakness would make us vulnerable when we had to make contact and mingle with the sometimes unruly crowds, and if there was a brawl we would be the ones to suffer. We would also make the country appear to be weak which would lead to foreign aggression. Another factor to take into consideration was that we could hide extra ballots in our baggy sleeves and stuff them into the ballot box. "Their delicate emotional equilibrium could easily upset by a strain---like voting." and "When women generally vote and hold office, nervous prostration, desire for publicity and 'love of the limelight' will combine to produce a form of hysteria already increasing in the United States." they concluded, “Remember - Eve got what she wanted and we've had trouble ever since.” For all those reasons, said the anti-suffragists, women should not be allowed to vote.
Even the Supreme Court supported this view. “The paramount destiny and mission of woman are to fulfill the noble and benign offices of wife and mother. This is the law of the Creator.” Wrote Justice Bradley in his concurring opinion in 1872 denying a woman membership to the state bar.
In 1870, the 15th Amendment was adopted, granting African-American men the right to vote. On June 4, 1919 (almost 50 years later) the 19th Amendment, guaranteeing women the right to vote, passed the U.S. Senate.
The crusade for the female right to vote started back in the summer of 1848. The suffragists were spearheaded by Lucretia Mott, a Quaker teacher who organized women's abolitionist groups, and Elizabeth Cady Stanton, also a reformer and abolitionist who gathered a group of similar thinkers to Seneca Falls, New York. There they drafted The " Declaration of Sentiments” which mirrored the "Declaration of Independence": "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men and women are created equal.". It was at those meetings where they met Susan B. Anthony who shared an almost identical background. Stanton evolved as the “go-to” person for putting ideas into writing while Anthony, unmarried, became the organizer, the person who was on the road giving speeches and becoming the target for the misogynists.
Another group, was formed by Julia Ward Howe (author of The Battle Hymn Of The Republic) and Lucy Stone in the same year in Boston. It wasn't until 1869 when women’s suffrage had its first success when the territory of Wyoming gave women the vote. In 1890, when they were admitted into the U. S. As a state, Wyoming became the first state with women suffrage.
In 1900 Utah, Colorado, and Idaho joined Wyoming in giving women the franchise. In 1912, the Progressive (Bull Moose) Party of Theodore Roosevelt became the first national political party to recognize the women’s efforts by including a plank supporting their suffrage in the party platform.This was a “bully” beam of light for this long uphill tunnel of obstacles they were navigating.
By this time American society was experiencing a far-reaching change in the role of women. There were more women in the work force, getting better education, penetrating professions denied them before, bearing fewer children, and increasing the ranks of voices seeking equality. In 1916 both the Democratic and Republican parties were ready to embrace female enfranchisement.
It was Tennessee, in 1920, that became the 36th state to ratify the 19th amendment of the previous year (by one vote) thus providing the two-thirds majority to make it officially the law of the land -------- ( harp strings play descending notes)

Douglass: Ah, yes, we've come a long way, Vickie. Look down there again. You can realize the apex of these hard fought amendment intentions. A current recipient of the each of those constitutional rights is now vying for the office you sought. Do you think that Hillary and Barack will replicate a page of our history and team up?
Woodhull: Who knows? But I sure wish them better results than we had. And maybe someday there will be a Hillary R. Clinton likeness on a dollar coin.

http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/06/06/columnists/doc48459d0ab3cd0771952021.txt

5/21/08

Flip the tassel, YOSOHK ’08 grads


Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions By Herb Kandel



Thank you once again, Ye Olde School of Hard Knocks, for the invitation to address the graduating class for the third time. As before, I will make this message brief, but not quite as fast as the rising price of gas at the pump.

Facing you in this ritual reminds me of when Mario Cuomo, the former governor of New York, in a similar position as commencement speaker compared that role to that of a corpse at an Irish wake. Both bodies need to be there in order to have a celebration but no one expects it to say very much.

Your BS, Batchelor of Survival degree, was earned by hard work traversing through life experiences. Most of you are approaching middle age and go out each day into the work force in order to provide a better and more fulfilling quality of life for yourself and your family. Of late it has become more difficult to do so. Last year at this time unemployment was 4.5% today it is 5.1%, crude oil was $64 a barrel now it is $126, and a poll of peoples confidence for a secure retirement has shrunk from 41% to 29% in that short span. Headlines along with lead stories on TV, radio, and Internet blogs shout pessimism and gloom when they report on war in Iraq and Afghanistan, home foreclosures, food shortages and rising prices, global climate change, recession, terrorism threats, tumbling stock markets, illegal immigration, the Arabfication of America, outsourcing to foreign manufacturers, drugs, teenage pregnancy, the crisis in health care, and the decision making in the forthcoming presidential election. Whew! It’s no wonder that hair coloring is the fastest growing service in the salon industry today.

Yet despite all the above mentioned worrisome situations Newsweek magazine, in an excerpt from “The Post-American World” by Fareed Zakaria, cites a group of scholars from the University of Maryland who have tallied the number of deaths due to organized violence. They concluded “that wars of all kinds have been declining since the mid-1980’s and that we are now at the lowest levels of global violence since the 1950s. ……80% of those casualties come from Iraq and Afghanistan which are really war zones with ongoing insurgencies and the overall numbers remain small.”

Why then does it seem we are living in such treacherous times with disaster lurking around the corner? Zakaria alleges, a theory with which I concur, that the information “explosion” provides scenes of the immediacy of events 24/7 from around the world. It wasn’t too long ago when we had only the radio and newspapers to keep us up to date. The radio had its 6 and 11 o’clock news for only 15 minutes. That pretty much limited itself to the more important events leaving the local happenings to the community stations and papers. There was no TV bombardment of national/global reporting, around the clock, with the preponderance of incidents leaning toward the sensational, scandalous, or shocking happenings. Then repeating it over and over ad nauseam. Don’t let the talking heads mesmerize you into their world. Listen and look, if you want to, but think for yourself, keep true to your hard won principles. Go, turn off the TV, and then hug your spouse and kids.

Two generations have grown up behind yours. Most of you graduating now are of Generation X, born between 1965-1979. You were preceded by the Baby Boom Generation, 1943-1965. Generation Y, sometimes called the Millennials from 1980-2000 followed you. Now the current generation, very likely your children, born since 2001 is being touted as Generation Z (just because it is alphabetically next) or Generation 9/11. I propose either Generation T-M (text messaging) or the still better, Generation I. “I” standing for Internet, iPhone, Ipod, or just plain I -- personal pronoun first person singular. Why? Just observe the egoism of any of the reality shows and watch how self-centeredness eclipses common sense, consideration, courtesy, and kindness. Participants rationalize, “It’s just a game”, but basic instincts do surface, the narcissism is apparent, and their actions tend become the “norm” for emulation by Gen I viewers. Make some of the values and virtues of your Gen X rub off on your offspring and don’t be afraid to separate the cemented cell phone from the ear of your kid.

In conclusion, look forward with anticipation to the coming years in your chosen work and profession utilizing your experience and optimism. Keep in mind that the typical peak earning period is from age 57 to 65. So for personal security contribute the max, if you can, to your 401k (where else can you get a 50% return on investment?).

Finally, two quotes to take with you : from Henry Ford, “Whether you think you can or think you can't -- you are right”……..and from me, “Remember to floss.”

Congratulations Class of 2008

http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/05/21/columnists/doc483322793b4c7215000806.txt

5/7/08

With energy for all

TRI-O’s:Oddities, observations & opinions
By Herb Kandel


Well here we are at our friendly neighborhood gas station. Just look around and you can almost feel the anger from fellow pumpers as the money gauge dial goes into fast forward, stopping at a price that used to buy you a nice dinner for two along with wine and the ability to leave a generous tip. Now just to fill up your four-cylinder, mid-size sedan tank costs half a hundred dollars! How did we get here in just a few short months?

Go back to 1973 when oil was selling at $3.15 per barrel. Then OPEC increased prices to $3.65 together with cutting back production. The Arab states, bitter over being defeated in the Yom Kippur War, also placed an embargo against the U.S., Western Europe, and Japan for their support of Israel. Marketers and the oil brokers knew that the demand for oil decreases very little when price increases. When lower production met the higher prices it triggered President Nixon to sign the Emergency Petroleum Allocation Act that mandating price, production, allocation and marketing controls. Results: a gallon of gas vaulted from 30 cents to over a dollar, a “windfall profit tax” was charged to oil producers, a new speed limit of 55 mph was imposed, there were long lines at the pump some bearing signs “SORRY NO GAS”, and more federal bureaucracy (energy control was born). Reality bit in the form of the realization that energy was something we could no longer take for granted and that it is not infinite.

Currently, to defray some of the gasoline price increases, Senator Clinton has joined Senator McCain calling to suspend the federal tax on gas through the summer months, a savings of 18.4 cents a gallon. Senator Obama sloughs off this approach claiming it will save individuals very little while it will cost thousands of construction jobs as the tax money goes toward repairing roads and bridges.

We all know there are sources of energy other than petroleum. Solar, wind, and hydro-electric power have been around for a long time, and they will continue to be explored, expanded and experimented with. On the horizon is the prospect of providing sources of energy that are just as sustainable. When current sources are gone they are gone, i.e., shale oil, natural gas and coal. Some renewable (and therefore sustainable) sources besides the above (solar, wind and hydro-electric) are derived from waves, tides, wood and fusion.

All the sources listed thus far lie in the realm of the esoteric scientific domain. It got me to wondering what we, as concerned ordinary citizens, can contribute to the thinking of these technical innovators, providing them new potential avenues to explore. For instance:
Capture the power of the hummingbird. These birds, in proportion, are powerful; they have been described as flight muscles covered with feathers (30% compared to 5% human pectoral muscle weight), their wings beat about 80 times per second, they fly 500 miles non-stop. If our wizards can find a way to capture the energy of this tiny “Incredible Hulk” it won't be just for the birds.

Ever see the energy of a two year old baby? There is no stopping them.
Ask their moms if they would relish a two hour respite each day by dropping baby in the lab while the nanny scientist harnesses the kilowatts that the kid generates on some type of movement machine. This can be done by just kidding!

When my BH (Better Half) walks our untrained four legged children it takes a lot of alternate restraining and pulling on the leads. I'm sure others dog walkers face the same situation, Having a device somewhere on the leashes to channel this expenditure of energy could power an electronic pooper-scooper that pick up, bags, ties, and disposes its’ contents in a bio-degradable way. This would be a step in the right direction.

Speaking of steps, we all walk. Why not capture that miniscule sudden wind surge generated by our foot step? Each stride forward could propel a small fan blade in the toe or heel to produce power to a rechargeable battery for a flashlight or a computer. As long as you keep walking it will keep going and going providing needed exercise also.

Sports too can play a part. If we can swallow a pill sized camera and have it take pictures as it passes through our body why not miniaturized capacitors to hold onto energy acquired by the swing of a golf club, tennis racket, baseball bat, skateboard, bicycle, skis, fishing rod, football helmet, etc? The accumulated built up energy can be discharged later into running household appliances. Now when you are on the golf course you can tell yourself you are really helping your BH with the vacuuming.

There you have some thoughts about how to beat the energy crisis. Do not dismiss them so quickly remember when caveman Oog mocked his friend, “Hey Glug, rounding off the corners of those square wheels is a waste of time.”

http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/05/07/columnists/doc4820bebea9801773893863.txt

4/23/08

Pop, goes the question


Tri-O’s
Oddities, Observations and Opinions
By Herb Kandel

Here we are heading for the merry month of May and June brides are right around the corner. But wait, contrary to urban legend June is not the most popular month for marriage. Many years ago (in the 70’s) we performed a survey in New Orleans to find out the best times in which to promote keepsake boxes for the preserving of bridal gowns. To our surprise we found there were more weddings in August than in June. This trend has continued. According to the Association for Wedding Professionals International in 2005 and 2006 both August and September had more brides than did June.
With these statistics in mind during the next few weeks and months many guys will be pondering unique methods as to how and where to “pop the question”. There are ways other than surprising her by putting the ring on the pepperoni pizza, in the crème brûlée, or the bottom of a champagne flute.
The following are some unusual approaches that have been used and a few that should never be attempted.
In Atlanta the couple did the crossword puzzle as a daily routine. The 58 Across clue read “Question that pops up,” and when the letters finally filled the empty squares the answer that sprang up spelled, “WILL YOU MARRY ME”. Then he assumed the position -- getting down on one knee and offered her the ring. She responded with a three letter word beginning with “Y”.
The buzz of conversation quieted in the Toronto restaurant when the diners heard the clatter of the knight in full shining armor approaching the table of the young lady. He bent down with a clang on his metal padded knee, lifted his slotted squeaking mask and implored her to grant him his wish. She acquiesced and most likely squirted some WD-40 in his visor, as he felt somewhat unhinged.
He wanted to surprise her with a lofty proposal but this Londoner got more than he bargained for. He had the $12,000 ring placed in the helium filled balloon that was intended for his loved one. As he exited the store a gust of wind blew the lighter than air latex sphere out of his hand and it went up up and away into the wild blue yonder never to be seen again. She now refuses to speak to him until he replaces it. The question remains: Will their love too be gone with the wind?
Some “not so good” approaches in “popping the question”:
Do not propose at a funeral. In Raleigh a guy asked for her hand in front of his brother's casket because he knew his brother had been looking forward to seeing him get married. We think his request was stiffly laid to rest.
Another no-no is to tape the ring to the toilet seat and leave it up. For when she lowers it she may not notice the diamond band and the desired answer might be flushed away too.
It will not promote bonding if you superglue the ring in the box and watch her try to pry it out (and never try this with a short tempered prospective fiancée).
For goodness sake when you are in a nice restaurant do not pretend you are choking then lean over a chair to perform a fake Heimlich maneuver and “cough” up the ring. Totally unappetizing.
Do not e-mail your question; but if you do, on no account have it say it also was sent to ‘undisclosed recipients’.
Other traditional and non-traditional approaches to making the proposal have been in Scrabble games, Trivial Pursuit, jig-saw puzzles, rose petals arranged on the floor or bed reading “Marry Me”, a plane pulling your sign, a billboard message, a jumbo board at a sporting event, a simple note attached to a floral bouquet, or inside a box of chocolates. It can be in a boat, a limousine, a hot air balloon, a roller coaster, a horse drawn carriage, or a grocery store; on a mountain, a beach with a message in a bottle, at the top of a city skyscraper, even under water, or at the place where you had your first date.
No matter wherever, whenever, or how the presentation is made it should be one of the most memorable events of a lifetime and as Rick tells Louie in the movie ‘Casablanca’, “….this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship” and with luck and love, infinitely beyond.

http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/04/23/columnists/doc480e3e0be0535476867387.txt

4/9/08

Beware-Danger Lurking


Tri--O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel


After you read this you may not regard your toothbrush in the same way. Do you recall several seasons ago on the TV show “Big Brother” when one of the house-guests, miffed at another, took his toothbrush and used it to clean the toilet before putting it back in the holder? Yuk! Well, what I learned was not that gross……. But I get ahead of myself and once again my BH (Better Half) proved right, and I am now glad she was.
Let me take you back a few months to the Holiday season when my BH presented me with a gift. I first thought of it as being an eccentricity, just another quirky stocking stuffer to be used once then stored on the shelf next to the bread baking machine, super juicer, and pasta maker. It was accepted with a “Thank you, it was just what I wanted”, and a smile knowing full well there was going to be a forthcoming visit to our storage room.
She knew that several decades ago my dentist told me that I was a candidate for periodontal disease (I since learned an estimated 80 percent of American adults have some form of the disease). It seemed my gums were exhibiting the red flag of inflammation and had deep pockets (no, not the kind meaning vast wealth but the gap between teeth and gum which harbors the nasty bacteria that cause the distress). After the deep-cleaning, called scaling, and root planing together with a re-education on better dental and oral hygiene I maintain a nightly regimen to keep the pearly whites. The choppers have a long way to go before they need replacement and the use of Polident.
My activity consisted of eight steps, until recently. Indeed, from initial dental water jet to final tongue scraper takes a lot longer than the two minute brushing and flossing as recommended by dentists. I am a virtual “Adrian Monk” (the obsessive-compulsive TV detective) in front of the bathroom mirror.
Now there is an added ninth step.
In the May issue of “Prevention” magazine it states the worst place for your toothbrush is on the bathroom sink. The article quotes germ expert Chuck Gerba, PhD, a professor of environmental microbiology at the University of Arizona, “When you flush, aerosolized toilet funk is propelled as far as 6 feet, settling on the floor, the sink, and your toothbrush. ‘Unless you like rinsing with toilet water, keep your toothbrush behind closed doors--in the medicine cabinet or a nearby cupboard’ ” The piece went on to say, “There are 3.2 million microbes per square inch in the average toilet bowl”
After reading this I scurried to the shelf in the storage room and cleaned the gift of three months of the settled dust.
My thoughtful BH had given me a VIO, a toothbrush sanitizer that uses Ultra-Violet light to destroy micro-organisms. This ninth step now resides in the beneath the sink cabinet. I sleep sounder knowing that the ten minute eerie blue glowing light that shuts itself off has aided in thwarting the harmful bacteria lurking in the air and living on my toothbrush.
You, dear reader, are now duly apprised to what lies in wait in the confines of your bathroom, so be ever vigilant. Monk, who pours boiling water over his toothbrush, would be proud of you.
Speaking of toothbrushes…….it is said that the credit for its invention was a hill-Billy. Why, you ask? Because if it was invented by anyone else it would have been called a “teethbrush”. Ouch!!


http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/04/09/columnists/doc47fbcd7b52d88428812122.txt

3/26/08

Triangle of death


Tri-O’s
Oddities, Observations, and Opinions By
Herb Kandel


It seems we all take for granted the environmental, zoning, and occupational hazard laws. Many did not usually evolve by dint of foresightedness but rather through tragedy. A case in point involves one that happened 97 years ago this week. It was Saturday March 25, 1911, about 4:40 in the afternoon. In five minutes the bell would clang on top floors 8, 9, and 10 to let the workers know that they could leave their sewing machines and other operating equipment. The overtime pay was a welcome addition to the employees who usually earned $6 a week. This was lower Manhattan in the Asch building and this factory made and assembled women¹s tailored shirts. The employees were mainly immigrant women, some as young as 15, mostly Italian, Jewish, Russian, and German. There were about 500 employed on those three floors and they worked for the Triangle Shirtwaist Company.
Then someone on the 8th floor shouted "Fire!"

The combustible materials burned rapidly and torched the overhead racks of the shirts in process. Smoke billowed out of the windows and fire quickly spread. The 27 water buckets proved useless in dousing the increasing flames. There was a rush to the two passenger elevators and the stairway. The door to the stairway opened in, not out. With the rush to get there the crowd defeated itself temporarily by blocking the space necessary to swing it in. They later were able to escape to street level some with clothes smoking others suffered major burns.

Meanwhile the 10 passenger elevator kept bringing down 12 -15 people at a time but the ring of fire on the upper floors still threatened hundreds. The elevator operator would later testify as he was descending in the shaft he heard the thumping of bodies hitting the top of the car. They plummeted from the 9th floor whose door was pried open. Police would later remove more than 30 corpses from atop the elevator, all were women.

Acts of bravery were reported. Three men formed a human chain from the 8th floor window to the adjacent window next door. Some girls were able to cross over on the backs of the three. But then the men lost their balance. All three fell 80 feet to join those on the pavement. At first bystanders thought that bolts of fabric were being tossed out of the windows to save the material but the bolts were soon realized to be bodies.

On the 9th floor the stairway doors were locked (it was said to prevent materials from being stolen). The fire escape was useless and collapsed under the load of the workers. The inferno there was the area that claimed the most lives. The firefighters arrived from six blocks away. Within 15 minutes it became a four alarm fire. Pumps did not have the power to propel the water to the top floors. Ladders were extended which only reached the mid 6th floor, some jumped toward them in hope of grabbing a rung near the top. None did.

A New York Times report described five girls by a window, "They leaped together, clinging to each other, with fire streaming back from their hair and dresses".

Lifenets were stretched but multiple bodies landing at the same time proved a disaster. It seemed to be raining girls as they chose the window exit rather than burn alive. Again, the New York Times, "Few of the girls that fell from the windows on the ninth floor, it was learned, jumped of their own accord. They were pushed forward by the panic stricken crowd in the room behind them." The report continued, "The crowd yelled 'Don't jump!' but it was jump or be burned the proof of which is found in the fact that fifty burned bodies were taken from the ninth floor alone."

Those on the 10th floor fared better. They escaped to the roof. Next door was New York University Law School. It was 15 foot higher than the Asch building. Seeing the commotion on the roof a teacher and his students found ladders left by painters. They lowered them to the roof below allowing the 70 or so workers to climb to safety. All but one person survived from the 10th floor.


The fire was under control in less than 30 minutes. It claimed the lives of 146 people. The building itself, steel and concrete, showed hardly any signs of the disaster yet it had experienced four recent fires and had been cited as unsafe because of the deficiency of exits. There is still no definitive cause of the fire, most believed a cigarette or match landed on the cluttered floor. The owners were acquitted of wrongdoing. In civil suit they were made to pay $75 to each of the twenty three families who had sued them.

This workplace disaster was the largest in New York history until 9/11 but because of it new laws were enacted: fire codes, safety and occupational standards, workers compensation, and a myriad other statutes for the benefit and welfare of the public along with stiff penalties for non-compliance. It still sadly exemplifies why government mandate Law in the wake of catastrophes such as Triangle Shirtwaist Company.

http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/03/26/columnists/doc47e97564451b2651060365.txt