8/5/09
Headlines I'd Like to See
Recent front page headlines have used bold type to inform us about what’s happening in the city, state, country, and world. We are reminded on a daily basis of the hurting economy, scandals, murder and mayhem, war, worry, and woes.
What if you could compose the headlines or read about some events you'd like to see reported on your wish list of headlines? Here are some of mine:
Cancer Cure Found - Scientists develop vaccine that stops cancer cell reproduction and eradicates existing ones
Conflicts Cease in Iraq and Afghanistan - All troops home as calm settles over the Middle East
U. S. GDP (Gross Domestic Product) Soars - GM rebounds, leads way with auto reliability and 45 MPG average
Health Care Reform Acclaimed - Doctors, hospitals, insurance and drug companies, and the general public all delighted with costs and services
Longevity Secret Revealed - Proven at last, Chocolate the key ingredient, birthday of Milton S. Hershey (Sept.13) proclaimed National Holiday
Fairhope Mayor and City Council Accord - Record set in unanimous voting for third consecutive year
Robot Generated Marketers to Pay Listeners - Three minute call will credit 36 ¼ cents to owner (using the new $7.25 wage minimum)
Snowbirds Vow to Dine at Night - Promise to not solely frequent “Early bird specials”, restaurateurs elated but skeptical
Premiums Lowered on Beach Properties - Volume of insured plus years of being hurricane free lead to reduction
“Ear Pollution” Threats Made Avoidable - Persons saying “like”, “awesome”, or “actually” more than once in a sentence are mandated to wear their cap backwards to warn unsuspecting listeners
Puppy Mill Establishments Confiscated - Properties sold with proceeds donated to animal “no kill” organizations
World Agrees in Declaring a Day of Unity - Unanimous agreement of worldwide day where each person cares for another, the expectation of expanding duration to a week seems possible. Tranquility on Earth a first.
And Some I would not care to see:
Cell Phone Companies Receive Stimulus Incentives - In addition, profits from the extra time they charge telling you to “Hang up when finished” and similar intuitive phrases will not be curtailed but increased
Limbaugh and O’Reilly Recipients of News Objectivity Award - Pledge to continue “unbiased” reporting stating, “And that’s the way we want it!”
Obama, Jong-IL, and Ahmadinejad Toast at Beer/Tea Summit - Leaders then agreed not to discuss the subject of mental health reform for Two Wild and Crazy Guys
Movies will Include More Bathroom Jokes to Attract Wider Pre-teen Audience - Demographics prove lavatory mightier than the bedroom for affluent twittering tweeners
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On a Personal note
Readers of this column may have experienced deja vous reading the title of this Tri-O. It is the same as the one 99 columns ago.
During the course of penning these ramblings of observations from the whimsical to the factual, of imaginary perceptions to actual current events I have been asked by several folks from where my subject matter comes. The two responses given are quotes: the first is from Red Smith, a Pulitzer Prize wining sports writer for the New York Herald-Tribune and The New York Times who said, “Writing is easy; I just open a vein and bleed” ; and Gay Talese, acclaimed author and The New York Times writer, "I am alone all day producing prose with the ease of a patient passing kidney stones." Enough said.
The time has come (al least for me) for a re-charging of batteries and a break in routine. So, dear reader, I am off on a sabbatical of undetermined length. I may pop up from time to time as the muse strikes, and the editor agrees, in a similar or perhaps a different format.
I have enjoyed this bi-weekly get-together writing for you for almost four years and am grateful to the Fairhope Courier and the Gulf Coast Newspapers who have given me the opportunity to vent my mental meanderings.
If you are so inclined, feel nostalgic (or masochistic) all the Tri-O’s columns can be viewed on www.tri-os.blogspot.com/
That’s about it for me. I hope we meet again somewhere, sometime in the near future.
Http://WWW.baldwincountynow.Com/articles/2009/08/06/columnists/doc4a77af3d23d89162168306.txt
