10/25/08
Celestial Perspectives
TRI-O’s:
Oddities, observations & opinionsBy Herb Kandel
Prior to Jay Leno hosting The Tonight Show there was Johnny Carson and Jack Paar. This format originated in 1953 by Steve Allen. Allen wrote over 50 books and composed more than 6000 songs. Even with this vast body of work he considered his best a series he wrote for PBS from 1977-1981 titled Meeting of Minds. It was a roundtable discussion with Allen talking to four legendary guests from history. Dialog was from their writing or quotes which were germane to the discussion topic, or was inferred from their individual history. Utilizing this format we too can look in and eavesdrop on our own roundtable, as we have done in the past.
We hover above the celestial caucus where we listen in on the spirited conversation of the participants utilizing their diverse backgrounds, knowledge, intellect, and experience from their times to critique and conjecture as they exchange ideas on contemporary issues.
The four ponder the presidential campaign. Seated are: Jackie Robinson, major league baseball player; Napoleon Bonaparte, French Emperor, Andrew Jackson, seventh President of the United States, and Scarlett O‘Hara (Hamilton Kennedy Butler), Southern belle.
Jackson: I have to give that John McCain credit for living through those years as a POW. I know how he felt.
Robinson: What do you mean?
Jackson: See this scar on my forehead and left hand? When I was 13 my older brother Robert and I fought in the Revolutionary War and were captured by the British. While prisoners we were ordered to clean the boots of a British officer. I refused. The officer drew his sword and slashed me as I raised my hand in defense. Robert refused also and was sent flying across the room from the officer’s wallop. We both contracted smallpox there and Robert died, he was 15. My other brother, Hugh, also a soldier, died two years before, he was 16. So I know how McCain feels about war it’s consequences.
Bonaparte: Oui! I too was a prisoner, twice. After I abdicated they sent me to the island of Elba to be “ruler” but this was merely a ploy to keep me from my supporters. Later I returned and waged another war that ended with my defeat Waterloo, only because we were outnumbered almost two to one. Then they exiled me to St. Helena.
Robinson: I almost became a prisoner of the U.S. Army. I was court-martialed for not moving to the back of a bus. I was just standing up for my dignity. The charges were dismissed but it left it’s mark. Later when I played for the Brooklyn Dodgers I had a preacher to help me not hamper me. We had a pitcher called Preacher Roe who had a 22-3 won-loss record in 1951. Too bad Obama had Reverend Wright and not Preacher Roe on his side (no relation to Roe V Wade). Say, Miss Scarlett, have you ever been imprisoned?
O‘Hara: No, indeed! But I did visit Mr. Butler when he was a prisoner. I wore a beautiful green velvet dress, newly made from drapes, to impress him. I do believe he saw through my guise. Perhaps I should have worn “traveling pants” like Hillary. Although they didn't seem to help her. Bless her heart.
Jackson: Do you think she was too ambitious?
O’Hara: Lordy, no! She just proved that strong women can achieve (having a husband who is a former president helped). We should be have equal rights along with compensation. I myself ran a lumber mill during reconstruction and still managed to be a lady. Sarah Palin has five children, is governor of a state, hunts, fishes, can put lip rouge on animals, and nevertheless seeks to be second in line to become President. I do declare it took a brave person to chose her as a running mate.
Bonaparte: When French law was based on my Code women could not make contracts or have bank accounts in their own name. They were dependents to be educated mainly in those areas to make them good wives in domestic skills and religious devotion.
O’Hara: Fiddle De Dee! You were just trying to get even because your wife Josephine cheated on you when you were off fighting that silly war in Italy. Anyway, you got married again. Same as John McCain and Andrew here.
Jackson: Yes, but I remarried my beloved Rachel. She thought her first husband obtained a divorce when we first married in 1791, however he had only asked for permission to file, and he sued on grounds of adultery. After the divorce was granted, we remarried in 1794. It was an honest mistake, but whispers of adultery and bigamy abounded, and neither of us was unfaithful. Many can attest that I was quick to take offense at, and ready to avenge, any slight to her.
Robinson: What a coincidence! My wife’s name is Rachel also, and Michelle Obama’s maiden name is Robinson. Both are woman of enormous accomplishments in education, profession, and whose husbands broke the color barrier in sports and politics. What do you think of the possibility of Michelle as First Lady?
Jackson: Our government is founded upon the intelligence of the people. I for one do not despair of the republic. I have great confidence in the virtue of the great majority of the people, and I cannot fear the result.
Bonaparte:One should never forbid what one lacks the power to prevent. Victory belongs to the most persevering but women are nothing but machines for producing children.
O’Hara: I’ll think about that tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day.
END
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/10/25/columnists/doc48ffa087df4ed539301362.txt
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
10/11/08
Help wanted
TRI-Os
Oddities, observations & OpinionsBy Herb Kandel
The process started officially in January with the Iowa caucuses, the last nominating votes for the presidential preference were cast in June, when Montana, New Mexico, and South Dakota voters went to the polls. One by one the bevy of bureaucrats dropped out (like sand through the hour glass, so was the daze of our contenders when their votes fell short). And then there were two main finalists.
What if the selection process Were different? Let’s say the choice for the persons nominated was given to folks experienced and trained in presenting qualified aspirants for specific positions in which they excel. The voters would choose from those selected by the imaginary, specialized firm of Professional Executive Recruiters for Presidents (PERP). It is their task to submit a short list of the best and brightest by matching candidates to the job description while weeding out the weaker ones.
Classified ads, placed in the proper media read:
"Help Wanted President of the United States.
Job Description
Minimum Requirements: Must be at least 35 years old, Must be a natural born citizen of the United States, Must have lived in the United States for at least 14 years.
Term of Employment: 4 years, with the possibility of a second 4 years
Salary: $400,000 plus $ 50,000 expenses, free room and board ( The White House has 132 rooms, 32 bathrooms, a movie theater, bowling alley, billiards room, tennis court, jogging track, putting greens, and Camp David, the presidential retreat)Job Responsibilities: Command the armed forces of the country, Choose cabinet members, Meet with leaders of foreign countries, Make treaties with foreign countries, Appoint judges and ambassadors, Sign bills into law and veto bills, Propose new laws, Protect and defend the laws of the United States, Pardon criminals, Report to Congress once a year.
Miscellaneous Responsibilities: Must remain on call twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, for the term duration. Frequent travel will be required. Will also manage the operations and personnel of numerous agencies and approximately three million civilian employees. Personal integrity along with a strong moral code are needed. The leadership ability to address and assess complex issues then formulate wise decisions with the aid of a team of advisors. Communication skills are a must so as to be equally at ease at a NASCAR rally as well as the Metropolitan Opera. To be able to withstand constant scrutinization of both private and public life. To have the physical vigor and emotional flexibility to work in a sometimes pressure-cooker situation that can effect millions of lives worldwide. Upon swearing in the chosen candidate will immediately have to contend with a war waging halfway around the world and an economy in turmoil.
Only those qualified as above need apply. Send resume and references."
Then the culling and recruiting process starts. Resumes are perused, those less than two pages and those written in crayon are immediately discarded. PERP, trough it’s network of contacts, gets in touch with influential people from business, industry, labor, the arts, education, law, health care, agriculture, politics, and the military. They measure and give credits for the required characteristics, I.e., public service, management, decision making, and global understanding. Nationwide inquiries, reference checking, and the intensive vetting procedure further narrows the field. The persons emerging from this funneling are those with charismatic personalities, communication skills capable of hitting home runs in 30 second TV ads, show positive personal character traits, and the agility to reverse the voters thinking, without appearing defensive, of accusations that opponents have made.
When the PERP choices are made they may not be too different from the ones that came through the regular primary and caucus route. However when all is said and done, after reading the job description, the question may not be how many from which we can chose, but rather, why anyone would want the job?
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/10/11/columnists/doc48efbf01236d6746331736.txt
Help wanted
TRI-Os
Oddities, observations & OpinionsBy Herb Kandel
The process started officially in January with the Iowa caucuses, the last nominating votes for the presidential preference were cast in June, when Montana, New Mexico, and South Dakota voters went to the polls. One by one the bevy of bureaucrats dropped out (like sand through the hour glass, so was the daze of our contenders when their votes fell short). And then there were two main finalists.
What if the selection process Were different? Let’s say the choice for the persons nominated was given to folks experienced and trained in presenting qualified aspirants for specific positions in which they excel. The voters would choose from those selected by the imaginary, specialized firm of Professional Executive Recruiters for Presidents (PERP). It is their task to submit a short list of the best and brightest by matching candidates to the job description while weeding out the weaker ones.
Classified ads, placed in the proper media read:
"Help Wanted President of the United States.
Job Description
Minimum Requirements: Must be at least 35 years old, Must be a natural born citizen of the United States, Must have lived in the United States for at least 14 years.
Term of Employment: 4 years, with the possibility of a second 4 years
Salary: $400,000 plus $ 50,000 expenses, free room and board ( The White House has 132 rooms, 32 bathrooms, a movie theater, bowling alley, billiards room, tennis court, jogging track, putting greens, and Camp David, the presidential retreat)Job Responsibilities: Command the armed forces of the country, Choose cabinet members, Meet with leaders of foreign countries, Make treaties with foreign countries, Appoint judges and ambassadors, Sign bills into law and veto bills, Propose new laws, Protect and defend the laws of the United States, Pardon criminals, Report to Congress once a year.
Miscellaneous Responsibilities: Must remain on call twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, for the term duration. Frequent travel will be required. Will also manage the operations and personnel of numerous agencies and approximately three million civilian employees. Personal integrity along with a strong moral code are needed. The leadership ability to address and assess complex issues then formulate wise decisions with the aid of a team of advisors. Communication skills are a must so as to be equally at ease at a NASCAR rally as well as the Metropolitan Opera. To be able to withstand constant scrutinization of both private and public life. To have the physical vigor and emotional flexibility to work in a sometimes pressure-cooker situation that can effect millions of lives worldwide. Upon swearing in the chosen candidate will immediately have to contend with a war waging halfway around the world and an economy in turmoil.
Only those qualified as above need apply. Send resume and references."
Then the culling and recruiting process starts. Resumes are perused, those less than two pages and those written in crayon are immediately discarded. PERP, trough it’s network of contacts, gets in touch with influential people from business, industry, labor, the arts, education, law, health care, agriculture, politics, and the military. They measure and give credits for the required characteristics, I.e., public service, management, decision making, and global understanding. Nationwide inquiries, reference checking, and the intensive vetting procedure further narrows the field. The persons emerging from this funneling are those with charismatic personalities, communication skills capable of hitting home runs in 30 second TV ads, show positive personal character traits, and the agility to reverse the voters thinking, without appearing defensive, of accusations that opponents have made.
When the PERP choices are made they may not be too different from the ones that came through the regular primary and caucus route. However when all is said and done, after reading the job description, the question may not be how many from which we can chose, but rather, why anyone would want the job?
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/10/11/columnists/doc48efbf01236d6746331736.txt
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