9/21/05
Headlines I’d Like to See
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions by Herb Kandel

It seems that all of my life the only news that screams for the largest type on the front page of newspapers are those of disaster, death, disease, war, worry, and woes. Yes, I know the old adage that it’s not news when a dog bites a man but vice versa . However, if had my druthers here are some headlines that I would love to read over my morning coffee in my lifetime:
Cure for Cancer Found. ….Scientists develop vaccine that stops cancer cell reproduction and eradicates existing ones.
Troops Home…….Stability prevails over the Middle East.
National Deficit Turns Positive …….Federal Income tax suspended for three years.
Grammy Awarded to Song with Melody …..Understandable lyric a contributor.
Chocolate Found To Be Secret To Longevity……..Hershey’s now on food pyramid.
Alabama Ranks First In Scholastics……….Miss. And La. tied for third.
Bay Bears Join MLB Expansion …….Hank Aaron new Commissioner of Baseball. Gulf Coast Celebrates 5th Hurricane Free Year…….Insurance companies lower premiums.
Mobile Election A Landslide ….. Mayor-elect a nominee for Nobel Peace Prize.
Gulf Shores Nixes Condos Over 110 Floors….. Cites Orange Beach as example of Cities Gone Wild.
The Haven in Fairhope Recipient Of Gates Foundation Grant……… “No Kill” Organization buys 90 acres, to accommodate large animals also.
Customer Service Call Center Admits “Your Call Is Not Important To Us”…..Long time hoax revealed by New Deli whistle-blower.
Wal-Mart Defers to Fairhope’s Wishes Not To Build ……. C.E.O. Says, “Money Is Not Everything”
GOP and Dems Select New Orleans To Host 2008 Presidential Conventions…….Each vie to be there first….right
And Some I would not care to see:
The Michael Jackson Home for Wayward Boys Dedicated
Prince Charles and Camilla parents of new born heir Chazilla
Social Security Subsidized By Bingo
Texas Hold ‘Em Declared National Pastime
Montgomery Renamed Jamestown--James Brothers and Dad Fob Content


Some thoughts on Katrina and its aftermath: Seems that The City That Care Forgot was also forgotten by FEMA. We may finally see some French in the French Quarter as the aircraft carrier "Charles de Gaulle" travels to the Gulf of Mexico to help in relief efforts. It is about time for some payback from La Belle, and it’s good that their troops don’t have to storm the beach at Lake Pontchartrain as our G.I.’s had to do at Normandy.
Even Thailand offered to return some of the tsunami money to aid and it’s been reported that the working girls of Thailand said that if the US Air Force could get them to New Orleans they would like to give free massages to the relief workers in thanks for the tsunami help. “When asked if they would need translators, a spokeswoman for the girls said, ‘No, all we need to know how to say is’ “what type of massage you like". Forget the money and other aid supplies for that’s what I call “hands on” relief.