3/28/07

Symbiosis for everyone


Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel


What to do? The problem Germany now faces is a fast aging population, the estimate in 2050 is one third of the population will be over 65 and close to ¾ of a million people will require some type of assisted living plus the facilities in which to accommodate them. Even with a high unemployment rate the openings for elder-care remain unanswered. Some relief was had in the mixing of the elderly with youth centers, vocational schools, and even tapping young men to work there in lieu of their mandatory military hitch. Still the demand exceeds supply so to help fill this gap a fresh solution is being explored now - retraining prostitutes for these positions. Since it was legalized there has been intense competition in the oldest profession and an abundance of ‘vendors’. Too much of that ‘supply’ coupled with no retirement or health plans led to more idle ladies of the night. That’s when someone saw the light…..the red one.
According to “US News & World Report” a pilot program to do just that has been started. The program has about 50 in it and according to the program director, "Prostitutes have already learned to get along with people, and they're usually very good listeners. Plus, they have no reservations about touching people's bodies." Another peripheral benefit was ….but I‘ll get to that later.
This type of relationship is similar to mutuality in symbiosis. That is when two or more species live and interact closely wherein both benefit. For example, the clown fish and the anemone where the fish feeds the poisonous anemone, the anemone protects the fish. Another is the tickbirds and the rhinoceros where the birds get dinner, a free ride, and protection and the rhinos get a companion who picks ticks off its back.
That relationship of contributing and receiving got me to thinking of other occasions where mutuality could be applied, both practical and theoretical, and realistic and whimsical. But instead of different species let's consider only human inter-relationships.
Remember Yenta the matchmaker in “Fiddler on the Roof” saying, “ With the way she looks and the way he sees, it’s a perfect match.”? In the movie “See No Evil, Hear No Evil” Gene Wilder is deaf, and Richard Pryor is blind. They witness a murder, Gene saw it and Richard heard it but they had to combine their senses to save themselves from the killers attempts to stop them from testifying.
When a German bar installed in the urinals little cogwheels that start to rotate once you ‘hit’ them they found that not only were the toilets more hygienic but they saved money on cleaning, all by giving their customers amusement utilizing a bodily function. Some have even built in LEDs to produce a lightshow with sounds. Tell me that’s not an inducement to belly up to the bar to drink more beer! Free enterprise symbiosis par excellence.
Tom Sawyer got his fence whitewashed by his friends (and made them pay for the ‘privilege’) when he got them believing that the chore was a fun task that few could do. Wrote Mark Twain, “He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it -- namely, that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain“. Both parties got what they wanted but Tom got the ‘mostest’.
Consider the carpenter aiding the orthopedist in the placement of those artificial joints and limbs. Imagine elbow hinges with spring-like attachments that could absorb the impacts of making continual smashes without fear of getting tennis elbow. Or a cervical implant preventing head movement when putting on the golf course.
How about an artist linking with the IRS form writer? This would take some of the pain out while filling in a 1040 if it had a little color combined with icons, arrows, marginal hints, and a smiley face on the ‘Amount to be refunded’ line.
A chef working hand in hand with a cabinet maker and architect can save the home cook many steps, and food drippings, by the most efficient placement of appliance space, shelves, drawers, hooks, vents, etc.. Now, there’s thought for food!
What if your local cable and telephone provider charges were deducted from your pay check? And what if that payment was delayed, or credited, for the same amount of time spent trying to get them on the phone plus when the repair is made, every time there is an outage or dropped call?
Mutuality may not be the uppermost thought as we go about our living but we practice it several times a day…..every time we wash our hands.
Getting back to the lead example above: as an additional benefit that may accrue by having the former prostitutes aid the elderly in assisted living facilities - expenses in Viagra purchases should be substantially reduced.
END