10/4/06

Bigger Brother Is Coming

Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel

A few weeks ago I received a reminder from the Department of Motor Vehicles that my driver license had expired. Not wanting to be a scofflaw on the highways, I drove, with extreme care, to the DMV office where I pulled my number ticket from the dispenser (just like the ones in Marble Slab) and waited for my No. 41 to be called. When it was I learned that I had 60 days from expiration date in which to renew, whew, I no longer felt my face was on the post office “Most Wanted” bulletin board. After paying my $23 and smiling for the photo I was licensed for another 4 years. The whole process took 25 minutes. It may take a lot longer next time, and not only for me.
It seems in May 2005, affixed to a $82 billion emergency spending package that provided money for the military and for tsunami relief, Congress passed the Real ID ACT which is intended to make it tougher for terrorists to obtain driver's licenses and for people without proper identification to board planes, enter federal buildings, and more. Starting May 2008 the law will require states to use sources like birth certificates and national immigration databases to verify that people applying for or renewing driver's licenses are American citizens or legal residents. The kinks will have to be worked out but be prepared for the wait (pretend you are in a doctor’s waiting room).
The card will be electronically readable. You will need this card for almost everything if you live or work in the United States. Not only to board an airplane, but also to open a bank account, collect Social Security payments, or utilize nearly any government service. The Department of Homeland Security is in charge of the Real ID Act. A report released last week by several state government leadership organizations estimates the cost of implementing the Real ID Act at more than $11 billion over the first five years. ”Also, each applicant will need three to four identity documents, and each of those need independent verification.”The information it will encode is name, birth date, sex, ID number, a digital photograph, address, in machine-readable technology.. They are permitted to add additional items such as a fingerprint or retinal scan. We are clueless as to the other identifiers at this time.
What if other establishments had similar requirements and you needed substantiated proof that you are indeed who you are, and are entitled to utilize or purchase their products and/or services. Hmmm…….let’s think:
Let’s say you want to buy a new pair of shoes. The salesperson, with narrowing eyebrows asks, “Is your toe print on file? Have your shoes ever been confiscated before boarding a plane? Do you intend to wear these shoes in a foreign country? “
Go into a coffee shop and you may have to show the person dispensing the latte the card that declares that you are not allergic to caffeine if you have not ordered a de-caf beverage.
The sign in the barber shop and hair salon boldly states “ All hair cuttings will be subject to DNA analysis and We can refuse service to anyone NOT registered (blondes excluded)”
Your health insurance company sends you a letter to the effect, “Electronic monitoring shows that you smoked, or were in the vicinity of smokers, and inhaled fumes. Your premium has been increased 15%”
The AARP now requires a Real ID card swipe for membership entry, but fear not, new rules make anyone breathing eligible.
You go to see an R rated horror movie, the person in the box office refuses you entry because your card indicates you have a heart condition (and you were not allowed buttered popcorn anyway).
The supermarket lets you to buy only what is on the food pyramid as you have exceeded your junk food quota this month.
When you go to the bank to cash a check you need to get an official override of the optical retina scan because your conjunctivitis gave a false reading.
Your computer screen freezes unless you enter your Real ID number and use “Microsoft Rules The World” as your password.
After scanning the card the dentist says, “ Sign the waiver. You haven't changed your toothbrush in 9 months. We are not responsible for your filling failing.”
I dread when the time comes to restock my undergarments and the clerk asks……..but I won't go there. Some things are better off with less public scrutiny.
END