8/23/08
The Tale of Willie No-write and the seven morphs

The actual Willie Bean

Note for out of town readers:
The mayor of Fairhope, Alabama is running for a third term. An unprecedented six candidates oppose him.
A local coffee shop owner put a picture of her Golden Lab pet, Willie Bean, in the store. A customer then wrote "For Mayor" beneath it. From there the spoof spread and made national news (including "The Late Show with David Letterman"), which you may have seen,

And so .............
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8/23/08

The Tale of Willie No-write and the seven morphs

TRI-O’s:Oddities, observations & opinions

By Herb Kandel

They called him Willie No-write because he couldn't. They could have easily called him Willie No-read for he had not that skill either. They zoned in on his illiteracy to make it appear he was neither competent nor intelligent enough to hold office. However, his innate keen senses, which were far superior to his detractors, gave him capabilities of knowing right from wrong then doing what’s right, and always being forthright. Deviousness, deception and guile were as foreign to him as feathers growing on apples. His honesty was viewed as the trait which caused the turnaround to the political campaign. Ah, but I get ahead of myself. Journey back to a galaxy far, far away and long, long ago.

Once again we are in the fiefdom of Fairtopia in the land of Baldwinia. The term of office for the lord mayor was expiring, and he sought another. His challenge was answered by six citizens who qualified within the time requirements. A late surprising entry, who missed the time frame to get his name on the ballot, was William, mongrel of Beanville; a quadruped whose write-in name on the mayoral ballot, although he was not eligible for the office, could siphon votes from the legitimate contenders. By doing this William could force a run-off election of the two top human vote-getters who might otherwise not have been in that position. In other words, he was the forerunner to what later would be recognized as a spoiler. Some claim he was the inspiration for the process that became known as “Nadering.”

Prior to William’s entry, all of the seven aspirants seemed confident of their chances to be the chosen one; or as they each pictured themselves “The fairest in Fairtopia.” Some considered themselves to be visionaries and marketers while several emphasized the pragmatics of those plans citing non-existing funds that would be necessary and pointing out unfairness by showing favoritism in shopping area emphasis. Among the ideas of attracting more business to the downtown area were, ferry boats from Mobileton to Fairtopia, downtown electric trolleys, billboards in surrounding towns, bicycle-sharing, and even a horse-driven carriage. Some drew the line at unrestrained growth and there was bickering, a few likely bogus, others quite genuine.

When momentum for William picked up and people were rallying round the pup, the seven aspirants realized the extent of the threat that was posed, i.e., of being “Nadered.” The prophets (called pollsters) also mirrored this image of the potential hindrance. The common jeopardy to them became devastatingly apparent. Some-thing had to be done.

Initially they had responded by ignoring the challenge. That failed. They then resorted to dismissing the effrontery by referring to their common threat as “Willie no-write.” This moniker was pinned on William to call attention to his limitations, to ridicule his candidacy, and to point out his naivete.

Try as they might, the seven could not stop the popular surge. It seemed the cards were dealt and upsets were in the making. Then something short of a miracle happened. The seven, almost as a body, came to a unanimous deduction about the rise of Willie: If all it took to arouse the populace to support them in their cause was to just tell the truth and do the right thing, why not do it?

In this manner it came to pass that the seven mayoral entrants morphed into exceptionally straightforward persons by emulating their former competitor. They campaigned and conducted themselves in a positive, constructive and ethical manner. William of Beanville, graciously bowed (actually bow-wowed) out, aware he was not qualified, but content in the knowledge that his dogged attributes influenced humans in conducting themselves in a manner that would have made Lassie proud.

So, there you have the inside skinny on Willie No-write and the seven morphs, who made history by participating in an election where all concerned played by the rules, said what they believed and later kept all their promises. The entire realm took note and hailed William of Beanville.

Alas, kind reader, recall that all things related above, while presented accurately is, nevertheless a tale.

END

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http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/08/23/columnists/doc48aeffccdcb27547000135.txt