5/3/06
Attention shoppers: Appendectomy on Aisle 2

TRi-O's
oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel

“Honey, I don't feel well. I may have come down with the flu. I'm going to get a checkup and see what I can take to help.”
“Where are you going to?“, Honey asks.
“To Target, of course.”
Yes, it’s true and that scene can be happening if you live near Baltimore. More and more retail stores are now offering quick health care for patients with many common illnesses: allergies; infections of bladder, ear, or sinus; influenza; and strep throat. Not only Target but drugstores like CVS and Walgreens have clinics in cities such as Atlanta, Orlando, Nashville (among others) and so does, surprise, Wal-Mart in Oklahoma. Best Buy has been testing the system in Minneapolis. These are walk-in/no appointment necessary clinics that typically charge anywhere from $28 to $110, not including medication costs. They are staffed by nurse practitioners who diagnose, treat and prescribe medications. They may also provide health screenings, medical tests , vaccinations, immunizations, physicals, and counseling. Those who are ailing with more serious or complex conditions are referred to local physicians.
Why this sudden interest in providing healthcare along with electronics and everyday merchandise? Two words……..Baby Boomers. A tsunami of an estimated 77 million are on the crest of the wave and headed for healthcare services, medical equipment, and prescription counters. The increased store traffic for the clinics helps sales of other items both related to health care and for non-related products such as food/household staples and impulse purchases.
What’s a trained professional service provider to do?
Let’s think and consider ……..what if those in the professional arenas would take a page out of the retail play book and started offering competing retail products along with their services? What’s good for the goose is good for the gaggle of ganders so let’s turn the table and see how various professions just might counter this big box store invasion into their realms of expertise.
You need some lamps or light bulbs? Who better to advise you than an Ophthalmologist . The office may also have some coordinating drapes, other window treatment, or carpeting to enhance your room décor in perfect harmony.
Your Allergist or Dermatologist will help keep you away from products that may irritate your skin and sinuses …..and by the way may have a special on some washer/dryers. Air purifiers, and air conditioner units (don't forget the filters).
Visit your Gastroenterologist and you will go home with epicurean delights that may be frozen or ready to serve and guaranteed not upset your stomach. And if you are having a party, no problem - their catering service is there to assist at birthdays or soirées.
New baby? Get your approved crib, formula, and diapers from your Obstetric/Gynecology or Pediatrician . Check out the cute layettes, strollers, and baby safe toys also in the KidKare-R-Us department.
Pamper yourself with a pedicure, as you shop for shoes, socks, sneakers, pantyhose, and toe nail polish, when you see the Podiatrist (who also has the Nike franchise).
Exercise bike, roller blades, boogie board, bathing suit, or sweat pants and nutrients? Who better to guide you than your Orthopaedist who can also fit the bicycle helmet and other related sports safety equipment.
Your Psychiatrist or mental health practitioner has shelves of self-help books, tapes, DVDs, along with a complete line of punching bags, huggy bears, couches and recliners.
Remember to visit the Cardiologist before Valentine’s Day to stock up on those Bon-Bons (Lite), cards, and FTD ( For Those Defibrillated) flowers, And don't bypass those heart healthy organic fruits and vegetables that are stocked daily.
See your accountant when you need a waste basket, craft paper, or White-out as well as for depreciable items for you business such as desks, file cabinets, and cubicles.
Your dentist can provide you with not only with the usual oral supplies but the staff will gladly take portraits of all those pretty smiles and provide facials and makeovers for those interested.
At your attorney’s office look at that surveillance camera, to check on the nanny or guard your house, they may be on special. While there you can examine all the new digital cameras and plasma TV’s along with stocking up with batteries, film, or memory cards. For those wanting to check on a suspected wandering spouse, ask about the 40X tele-photo lenses.
Who’s to say that the above scenarios are merely whimsical.? Remember when there were “Blue Laws” and all stores were closed on Sunday? Remember when there was an ethical ban on the legal and medical professions against advertising? Remember when segregation was an accepted norm?
So you see there are ways to answer the Goliath’s of the world. The question is who will be the David to sling the first stone?
END