3/26/08
Triangle of death
Tri-O’s
Oddities, Observations, and Opinions By
Herb Kandel
It seems we all take for granted the environmental, zoning, and occupational hazard laws. Many did not usually evolve by dint of foresightedness but rather through tragedy. A case in point involves one that happened 97 years ago this week. It was Saturday March 25, 1911, about 4:40 in the afternoon. In five minutes the bell would clang on top floors 8, 9, and 10 to let the workers know that they could leave their sewing machines and other operating equipment. The overtime pay was a welcome addition to the employees who usually earned $6 a week. This was lower Manhattan in the Asch building and this factory made and assembled women¹s tailored shirts. The employees were mainly immigrant women, some as young as 15, mostly Italian, Jewish, Russian, and German. There were about 500 employed on those three floors and they worked for the Triangle Shirtwaist Company.
Then someone on the 8th floor shouted "Fire!"
The combustible materials burned rapidly and torched the overhead racks of the shirts in process. Smoke billowed out of the windows and fire quickly spread. The 27 water buckets proved useless in dousing the increasing flames. There was a rush to the two passenger elevators and the stairway. The door to the stairway opened in, not out. With the rush to get there the crowd defeated itself temporarily by blocking the space necessary to swing it in. They later were able to escape to street level some with clothes smoking others suffered major burns.
Meanwhile the 10 passenger elevator kept bringing down 12 -15 people at a time but the ring of fire on the upper floors still threatened hundreds. The elevator operator would later testify as he was descending in the shaft he heard the thumping of bodies hitting the top of the car. They plummeted from the 9th floor whose door was pried open. Police would later remove more than 30 corpses from atop the elevator, all were women.
Acts of bravery were reported. Three men formed a human chain from the 8th floor window to the adjacent window next door. Some girls were able to cross over on the backs of the three. But then the men lost their balance. All three fell 80 feet to join those on the pavement. At first bystanders thought that bolts of fabric were being tossed out of the windows to save the material but the bolts were soon realized to be bodies.
On the 9th floor the stairway doors were locked (it was said to prevent materials from being stolen). The fire escape was useless and collapsed under the load of the workers. The inferno there was the area that claimed the most lives. The firefighters arrived from six blocks away. Within 15 minutes it became a four alarm fire. Pumps did not have the power to propel the water to the top floors. Ladders were extended which only reached the mid 6th floor, some jumped toward them in hope of grabbing a rung near the top. None did.
A New York Times report described five girls by a window, "They leaped together, clinging to each other, with fire streaming back from their hair and dresses".
Lifenets were stretched but multiple bodies landing at the same time proved a disaster. It seemed to be raining girls as they chose the window exit rather than burn alive. Again, the New York Times, "Few of the girls that fell from the windows on the ninth floor, it was learned, jumped of their own accord. They were pushed forward by the panic stricken crowd in the room behind them." The report continued, "The crowd yelled 'Don't jump!' but it was jump or be burned the proof of which is found in the fact that fifty burned bodies were taken from the ninth floor alone."
Those on the 10th floor fared better. They escaped to the roof. Next door was New York University Law School. It was 15 foot higher than the Asch building. Seeing the commotion on the roof a teacher and his students found ladders left by painters. They lowered them to the roof below allowing the 70 or so workers to climb to safety. All but one person survived from the 10th floor.
The fire was under control in less than 30 minutes. It claimed the lives of 146 people. The building itself, steel and concrete, showed hardly any signs of the disaster yet it had experienced four recent fires and had been cited as unsafe because of the deficiency of exits. There is still no definitive cause of the fire, most believed a cigarette or match landed on the cluttered floor. The owners were acquitted of wrongdoing. In civil suit they were made to pay $75 to each of the twenty three families who had sued them.
This workplace disaster was the largest in New York history until 9/11 but because of it new laws were enacted: fire codes, safety and occupational standards, workers compensation, and a myriad other statutes for the benefit and welfare of the public along with stiff penalties for non-compliance. It still sadly exemplifies why government mandate Law in the wake of catastrophes such as Triangle Shirtwaist Company.
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/03/26/columnists/doc47e97564451b2651060365.txt
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
3/15/08
Bananas going ?
Tri-O's
Oddities, observations, and opinions By Herb Kandel
Last week I gleaned the “to read” e-mail from the spam on my computer. After deleting all the pixels notifying me I was the heir to vast Nigerian bequests and entreaties for enlarging body parts I found an interesting one from a friend. It extolled the benefits of eating bananas. The nutritional values are said to be numerous and the report maintained they helped maladies such as Depression, PMS, high blood pressure, hangovers, ulcers, and even warts, to name a few. For all I know it may be the true elixir of life. What a wonderful way to remedy and maintain health -- ingesting the delicious yellow fruit shaped like a comma!
Then I heard an interview on NPR‘S program “Fresh Air”. Host Terry Gross was talking with Dan Koeppel, who spent three years researching and writing “Banana, The Fate of the Fruit That Changed the World”. He claims that the banana may be an endangered fruit in the next 10 to 20 years.
Facts: Americans eat more bananas than apples and oranges combined. It is a seedless, sexless fruit that does not really reproduce but is a genetic duplicate of the next generation, in essence what the world eats are clones. The same type banana, the Cavendish, is the same in Europe and China as it is here. Since they all are genetically the same they are susceptible to the same blights. There was a another strain of bananas, Gros Michel (Big Mike), that was obliterated in the 1960’s by a soil fungus which attacks the roots, called Panama disease. Another fungus, black Sigatoka, is a leaf fungus which also destroys the plant.
The same fate may be in store for the Cavendish, says Koeppel. More about this later.
Millions of people rely on the fruit for sustenance. Here we may regard it as a snack or a sliced addition to our breakfast cereal, but in Africa and other parts of the world it is a staple (in Uganda the word for “food” and the one for “banana” are the same). After rice, wheat, and milk, bananas are the fourth most beneficial food in developing countries as an excellent source of carbohydrate, fiber, vitamins and minerals. It is estimated that 500 million poor people, from Brazil to Indonesia, would be adversely effected if “Yes, we have no bananas” were to become a reality.
It is uncertain as to how bananas evolved or where they developed. Some claim, in translations of the Bible, that it was really a banana that Adam was tempted with by Eve (maybe that snake knew about nutrition). But in recent times whole Central American countries had their fates dependent on the fruit. The United Fruit company mushroomed (so to speak) in that part of the world. Its influence played into politics, industry, labor, and overthrew governments in banana republics.
Koeppel is now shining the spotlight on genetic engineering and warning about the fruit’s demise. Without genetically modified (GM) harvests this food source would be eliminated. There is a rush now to save the Cavendish or morph it into another strain by developing them in test tubes since it has no seeds or pollen and is therefore sterile. A team of scientists inserted a gene from rice which they say provides protection for the banana from black Sigatoka with no danger to humans or the environment. According to them the GM banana reduces the need for pesticides. However the Panama fungus is still to be reckoned with. Organic bananas sold in the West are grown without pesticides but the yield is greatly reduced.
Some opponents of GM consider it “frankenfood”, and there are other nay sayers who contend the situation is not dire. They are almost as adamant as those folks who claim that global warming is a hoax. Indeed, even the sources at Snopes.Com (an investigative site exposing urban legends) maintain that there are other disease control alternatives such as “the development of plants resistant to the main diseases, the employment of friendly bacteria, fungi, and other micro-organisms”. They recognize the threat of a banana plague but feel it is not imminent and that it can be avoided with strict enforcement that prohibit of the export of pathogen infected soil and banana suckers to new plantations and growing fields.
It is a strong case that Koeppel makes about the threat of extinction being real. In addition to the above information about science, genetic codes, political intrigues, and globalization, he also looks into the banana trade, marketing, cultural aspects, injustices with violence, historical lethal events in the harvesting and transporting, and economic imperialism.
Who knew that this iconic golden fruit, which has so much to offer the world, has such a history and who’s future is now a mystery? Certainly not I. But if I don’t slip on a banana peel Koeppel’s book will be my next read.
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/03/15/columnists/doc47daeaf1c08e1843317824.txt
Bananas going ?
Tri-O's
Oddities, observations, and opinions By Herb Kandel
Last week I gleaned the “to read” e-mail from the spam on my computer. After deleting all the pixels notifying me I was the heir to vast Nigerian bequests and entreaties for enlarging body parts I found an interesting one from a friend. It extolled the benefits of eating bananas. The nutritional values are said to be numerous and the report maintained they helped maladies such as Depression, PMS, high blood pressure, hangovers, ulcers, and even warts, to name a few. For all I know it may be the true elixir of life. What a wonderful way to remedy and maintain health -- ingesting the delicious yellow fruit shaped like a comma!
Then I heard an interview on NPR‘S program “Fresh Air”. Host Terry Gross was talking with Dan Koeppel, who spent three years researching and writing “Banana, The Fate of the Fruit That Changed the World”. He claims that the banana may be an endangered fruit in the next 10 to 20 years.
Facts: Americans eat more bananas than apples and oranges combined. It is a seedless, sexless fruit that does not really reproduce but is a genetic duplicate of the next generation, in essence what the world eats are clones. The same type banana, the Cavendish, is the same in Europe and China as it is here. Since they all are genetically the same they are susceptible to the same blights. There was a another strain of bananas, Gros Michel (Big Mike), that was obliterated in the 1960’s by a soil fungus which attacks the roots, called Panama disease. Another fungus, black Sigatoka, is a leaf fungus which also destroys the plant.
The same fate may be in store for the Cavendish, says Koeppel. More about this later.
Millions of people rely on the fruit for sustenance. Here we may regard it as a snack or a sliced addition to our breakfast cereal, but in Africa and other parts of the world it is a staple (in Uganda the word for “food” and the one for “banana” are the same). After rice, wheat, and milk, bananas are the fourth most beneficial food in developing countries as an excellent source of carbohydrate, fiber, vitamins and minerals. It is estimated that 500 million poor people, from Brazil to Indonesia, would be adversely effected if “Yes, we have no bananas” were to become a reality.
It is uncertain as to how bananas evolved or where they developed. Some claim, in translations of the Bible, that it was really a banana that Adam was tempted with by Eve (maybe that snake knew about nutrition). But in recent times whole Central American countries had their fates dependent on the fruit. The United Fruit company mushroomed (so to speak) in that part of the world. Its influence played into politics, industry, labor, and overthrew governments in banana republics.
Koeppel is now shining the spotlight on genetic engineering and warning about the fruit’s demise. Without genetically modified (GM) harvests this food source would be eliminated. There is a rush now to save the Cavendish or morph it into another strain by developing them in test tubes since it has no seeds or pollen and is therefore sterile. A team of scientists inserted a gene from rice which they say provides protection for the banana from black Sigatoka with no danger to humans or the environment. According to them the GM banana reduces the need for pesticides. However the Panama fungus is still to be reckoned with. Organic bananas sold in the West are grown without pesticides but the yield is greatly reduced.
Some opponents of GM consider it “frankenfood”, and there are other nay sayers who contend the situation is not dire. They are almost as adamant as those folks who claim that global warming is a hoax. Indeed, even the sources at Snopes.Com (an investigative site exposing urban legends) maintain that there are other disease control alternatives such as “the development of plants resistant to the main diseases, the employment of friendly bacteria, fungi, and other micro-organisms”. They recognize the threat of a banana plague but feel it is not imminent and that it can be avoided with strict enforcement that prohibit of the export of pathogen infected soil and banana suckers to new plantations and growing fields.
It is a strong case that Koeppel makes about the threat of extinction being real. In addition to the above information about science, genetic codes, political intrigues, and globalization, he also looks into the banana trade, marketing, cultural aspects, injustices with violence, historical lethal events in the harvesting and transporting, and economic imperialism.
Who knew that this iconic golden fruit, which has so much to offer the world, has such a history and who’s future is now a mystery? Certainly not I. But if I don’t slip on a banana peel Koeppel’s book will be my next read.
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/03/15/columnists/doc47daeaf1c08e1843317824.txt
Saturday, March 01, 2008
2/27/08
George, Abe, and La-Z-Boys
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions By Herb Kandel
Last week was President’s Day. It used to be the day honoring Presidents Washington and Lincoln but has evolved to days of hawking furniture and mattress sales. Here we are in the midst of a heating up presidential nomination race followed by the upcoming campaign of the chosen nominees. The field is narrowing down as the each state tallies it’s votes. Whomever the winner may be he/she will be scrutinized minutely and findings will be reported.
Long before all those bedroom suites and recliners started getting advertising space previous persons holding the presidential office were examined also, but the findings were not as widely broadcast. Here are some little known facts about the presidents for whom this day was named.
Washington:
In the winter of 1775 General George Washington wrote to John Hancock, president of the Continental Congress, warning of bioterrorism. He was concerned that his troops might become the victims of smallpox spread by the British. He sent this message to members of Congress also. His contention was never proven but during the period between 1775- 1782 there were more deaths attributed to smallpox than those who died in battle.
Tales of Washington having wooden teeth are false. At his inauguration he had only one tooth, however at other times he had dentures made of human teeth, animal teeth, ivory, and lead.
He was the only president elected unanimously, and the only president who didn't live in Washington, D.C. During his presidency. He was 6’2’’ tall, weighed 200 pounds and had size 13 shoes. All his achievements were done with no formal education.
Luck was with him as he had, before he was 30, smallpox, pleurisy, malaria, and dysentery. He fell off a raft in an icy river and came close to drowning. He was shot at. His coat bore four holes which bullets had punctured and two horses were shot from under him.
February 22 was his 276th birthday.
Lincoln:
Lincoln was the tallest president at 6’4’’; Madison the shortest at 5’4’’
In his tall stovepipe hat Lincoln at times carried letters, bills, and notes.
He was an outspoken nonbeliever and never belonged to an organized religion. The only time he made reference to it was in his 1846 congressional campaign. He said, “ That I am not a member of any Christian Church, is true; but I have never denied the truth of the Scriptures; and I have never spoken with intentional disrespect of religion in general or of any denomination of Christians in particular.”
In 1849 he obtained a patent for his invention of a device for lifting ships over shoals using “buoyant air chambers”. He was the only patent holding president .
He did not trust the accuracy of the press. In his “House divided” speech he personally went to the newspaper office to proofread the galleys of the speech.
At his inaugural reception in 1865, Fredrick Douglass, the former slave and outspoken abolitionist, was Lincoln’s invited guest but was forced out by a policeman at the entrance. Douglass tried again this time catching Lincoln’s eye. “ Here comes my friend Douglass,” exclaimed Abe as he left guests and took Douglass by the hand to lead him in.
Twelve years before the 1st women’s rights convention in 1848, Lincoln as a State legislator, endorsed extending the vote to women.
He and his wife participated in séances in the White House after the death of his son Willie. They wanted to communicate with him.
February 12 was his 199th birthday.
Other presidential trivia:
There have been eight presidents who were not born American but were British subjects Washington, J. Adams, Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, J. Q. Adams, Jackson, and W. Harrison.
Being a Harvard alumni is the best bet for the office. Five presidents studied there, J. Adams, J. Q. Adams, T. Roosevelt, F. Roosevelt, and Kennedy. (Clinton -Yale, McCain- U.S. Naval Academy, Obama - Harvard)
So as we check all the ads for sofas and dining room furniture we should remember that it was George and Abe that made it all possible.
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/02/27/columnists/doc47c4804abf3e6239634811.txt
George, Abe, and La-Z-Boys
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions By Herb Kandel
Last week was President’s Day. It used to be the day honoring Presidents Washington and Lincoln but has evolved to days of hawking furniture and mattress sales. Here we are in the midst of a heating up presidential nomination race followed by the upcoming campaign of the chosen nominees. The field is narrowing down as the each state tallies it’s votes. Whomever the winner may be he/she will be scrutinized minutely and findings will be reported.
Long before all those bedroom suites and recliners started getting advertising space previous persons holding the presidential office were examined also, but the findings were not as widely broadcast. Here are some little known facts about the presidents for whom this day was named.
Washington:
In the winter of 1775 General George Washington wrote to John Hancock, president of the Continental Congress, warning of bioterrorism. He was concerned that his troops might become the victims of smallpox spread by the British. He sent this message to members of Congress also. His contention was never proven but during the period between 1775- 1782 there were more deaths attributed to smallpox than those who died in battle.
Tales of Washington having wooden teeth are false. At his inauguration he had only one tooth, however at other times he had dentures made of human teeth, animal teeth, ivory, and lead.
He was the only president elected unanimously, and the only president who didn't live in Washington, D.C. During his presidency. He was 6’2’’ tall, weighed 200 pounds and had size 13 shoes. All his achievements were done with no formal education.
Luck was with him as he had, before he was 30, smallpox, pleurisy, malaria, and dysentery. He fell off a raft in an icy river and came close to drowning. He was shot at. His coat bore four holes which bullets had punctured and two horses were shot from under him.
February 22 was his 276th birthday.
Lincoln:
Lincoln was the tallest president at 6’4’’; Madison the shortest at 5’4’’
In his tall stovepipe hat Lincoln at times carried letters, bills, and notes.
He was an outspoken nonbeliever and never belonged to an organized religion. The only time he made reference to it was in his 1846 congressional campaign. He said, “ That I am not a member of any Christian Church, is true; but I have never denied the truth of the Scriptures; and I have never spoken with intentional disrespect of religion in general or of any denomination of Christians in particular.”
In 1849 he obtained a patent for his invention of a device for lifting ships over shoals using “buoyant air chambers”. He was the only patent holding president .
He did not trust the accuracy of the press. In his “House divided” speech he personally went to the newspaper office to proofread the galleys of the speech.
At his inaugural reception in 1865, Fredrick Douglass, the former slave and outspoken abolitionist, was Lincoln’s invited guest but was forced out by a policeman at the entrance. Douglass tried again this time catching Lincoln’s eye. “ Here comes my friend Douglass,” exclaimed Abe as he left guests and took Douglass by the hand to lead him in.
Twelve years before the 1st women’s rights convention in 1848, Lincoln as a State legislator, endorsed extending the vote to women.
He and his wife participated in séances in the White House after the death of his son Willie. They wanted to communicate with him.
February 12 was his 199th birthday.
Other presidential trivia:
There have been eight presidents who were not born American but were British subjects Washington, J. Adams, Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, J. Q. Adams, Jackson, and W. Harrison.
Being a Harvard alumni is the best bet for the office. Five presidents studied there, J. Adams, J. Q. Adams, T. Roosevelt, F. Roosevelt, and Kennedy. (Clinton -Yale, McCain- U.S. Naval Academy, Obama - Harvard)
So as we check all the ads for sofas and dining room furniture we should remember that it was George and Abe that made it all possible.
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/02/27/columnists/doc47c4804abf3e6239634811.txt
2/13/08
Love. Ah, sweet love
Tri-O’s
Oddities, Observations, and Opinions By Herb Kandel
A recent cover story in TIME magazine was “The Science of Romance”. Many scientific theories were put forth as to how and why we humans love. They went in depth about studies which show how our senses come into play while seeking partners. One of the more significant (and primal), they say, is that “a possible partner smells right”, along with how they look, sound, and ‘taste’ (a compound in saliva is another trigger) . But it is in the brain where all the pieces of the five senses meet then combine with natural opioids and surging hormones to generate the glowing overall ‘feel good’ phenomenon.
Let’s put aside this analytical explanation along with the microscopic approach and be like Annie Oakley (in “ Annie Get Your Gun”) by --"Doin' What Comes Natur'lly" and rely on the tried, true, and tested way of expressing emotions to the recipients of our Valentine greetings.
Sure, all those cards,flower bouquets, and chocolate bon-bons are effective but the ones that make the point are those tiny colored conversation heart shaped candy pieces with a message on each one.
The NECCO (New England Confectionery Company) has been making Sweethearts ® Conversation Hearts since the Civil War and manufactures eight billion hearts each year making them the #1 non-chocolate Valentine’s Day candy (they say if placed back to back the line would go from New York to Los Angeles and back again, 5924 miles of pastel colored line).
NECCO introduces 10 new sayings a year all printed in upper case. You can make up your own (but you will have to buy a production run of about 1.7 million candy hearts). This reminds me of the story I heard of unrequited love where in fifth grade little Johnny gave curly haired Jenny a pink candy heart which said “BE MINE”. She in turn searched through her package, picked out a green one, handed it to him, and he wilted. It said, “GET LOST”. Which leads me to the “heart” of this piece--What would certain people put on the candy heart to give to someone else?
Hillary to Barack: NO YOU CAN'T! -- Barack/Hillary: YES I CAN!
Hillary to Barack: WAIT YOUR TURN -- Barack/Hillary: WAITING SUCKS
Barack to Hillary: HERE I COME --Hillary/Barack: START PLAN B (BILL)
Bill to Hillary: NEGATIVE POSITIVELY? -- Hillary/Bill: POSITIVELY NEGATVE!
McCain to Romney: DROP OUT -- Romney/McCain: OVER AND OUT
McCain to Huckabee: I'M A MONKEY’S UNCLE -- Huckabee/McCain: NO, YOU'RE NOT!
G.W. Bush to G.H.W. Bush: READ MY QUIPS --G.H./G.W: WHO’S YOUR DADDY?
Rush Limbaugh to Al Gore: COOL IT --A/R: LEARN TO SWIM
Tom Brady to Eli Manning: 18 GOING TO 19 -- Eli/Tom: 17 TO 14! NA NA
Al Sharpton to Don Imus: NO MO’ HO -- D/A: YO, BRO, I KNOW
Don Siegelman to Bob Riley: LET ME OUT! -- B/D: CONSPIRACY WORKS, RIGHT?
Barry Bonds to Hank Aaron: PUMP ME UP -- H/B: SWING NATURAL
Scarlett to Rhett: DRAPES TO DRESSES -- R/S: DAMN CERTAIN CURTAINS
Mary Todd Lincoln to Abe: NO PLAY TONIGHT -- A/M: SHOWTIME!
Q. Elizabeth Barrett Browning: HOW DO I LOVE THEE?
A. Elvis: LOVE ME TENDER
James Bond: SHAKEN NOT STIRED
Larry King: WHAT’S THE QUESTION?
Dick Cheney: MASS DESTRUCTIVELY
Joan Rivers: WITH NIP & TUCK
Fred Thompson: LAWFULLY & ORDERLY
Rudy Giuliani: LEADER TO LOSER
O.J. Simpson: LIKE A GLOVE
Biggest Loser: COUNT THE WEIGHS
Homer Simpson: EAT MY SHORTS
We've gone from deep probing science to concise wording on candy just to wish you a requited Sweet and Happy Valentine’s Day.
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/02/13/columnists/doc47b203fd12255488009633.txt
Love. Ah, sweet love
Tri-O’s
Oddities, Observations, and Opinions By Herb Kandel
A recent cover story in TIME magazine was “The Science of Romance”. Many scientific theories were put forth as to how and why we humans love. They went in depth about studies which show how our senses come into play while seeking partners. One of the more significant (and primal), they say, is that “a possible partner smells right”, along with how they look, sound, and ‘taste’ (a compound in saliva is another trigger) . But it is in the brain where all the pieces of the five senses meet then combine with natural opioids and surging hormones to generate the glowing overall ‘feel good’ phenomenon.
Let’s put aside this analytical explanation along with the microscopic approach and be like Annie Oakley (in “ Annie Get Your Gun”) by --"Doin' What Comes Natur'lly" and rely on the tried, true, and tested way of expressing emotions to the recipients of our Valentine greetings.
Sure, all those cards,flower bouquets, and chocolate bon-bons are effective but the ones that make the point are those tiny colored conversation heart shaped candy pieces with a message on each one.
The NECCO (New England Confectionery Company) has been making Sweethearts ® Conversation Hearts since the Civil War and manufactures eight billion hearts each year making them the #1 non-chocolate Valentine’s Day candy (they say if placed back to back the line would go from New York to Los Angeles and back again, 5924 miles of pastel colored line).
NECCO introduces 10 new sayings a year all printed in upper case. You can make up your own (but you will have to buy a production run of about 1.7 million candy hearts). This reminds me of the story I heard of unrequited love where in fifth grade little Johnny gave curly haired Jenny a pink candy heart which said “BE MINE”. She in turn searched through her package, picked out a green one, handed it to him, and he wilted. It said, “GET LOST”. Which leads me to the “heart” of this piece--What would certain people put on the candy heart to give to someone else?
Hillary to Barack: NO YOU CAN'T! -- Barack/Hillary: YES I CAN!
Hillary to Barack: WAIT YOUR TURN -- Barack/Hillary: WAITING SUCKS
Barack to Hillary: HERE I COME --Hillary/Barack: START PLAN B (BILL)
Bill to Hillary: NEGATIVE POSITIVELY? -- Hillary/Bill: POSITIVELY NEGATVE!
McCain to Romney: DROP OUT -- Romney/McCain: OVER AND OUT
McCain to Huckabee: I'M A MONKEY’S UNCLE -- Huckabee/McCain: NO, YOU'RE NOT!
G.W. Bush to G.H.W. Bush: READ MY QUIPS --G.H./G.W: WHO’S YOUR DADDY?
Rush Limbaugh to Al Gore: COOL IT --A/R: LEARN TO SWIM
Tom Brady to Eli Manning: 18 GOING TO 19 -- Eli/Tom: 17 TO 14! NA NA
Al Sharpton to Don Imus: NO MO’ HO -- D/A: YO, BRO, I KNOW
Don Siegelman to Bob Riley: LET ME OUT! -- B/D: CONSPIRACY WORKS, RIGHT?
Barry Bonds to Hank Aaron: PUMP ME UP -- H/B: SWING NATURAL
Scarlett to Rhett: DRAPES TO DRESSES -- R/S: DAMN CERTAIN CURTAINS
Mary Todd Lincoln to Abe: NO PLAY TONIGHT -- A/M: SHOWTIME!
Q. Elizabeth Barrett Browning: HOW DO I LOVE THEE?
A. Elvis: LOVE ME TENDER
James Bond: SHAKEN NOT STIRED
Larry King: WHAT’S THE QUESTION?
Dick Cheney: MASS DESTRUCTIVELY
Joan Rivers: WITH NIP & TUCK
Fred Thompson: LAWFULLY & ORDERLY
Rudy Giuliani: LEADER TO LOSER
O.J. Simpson: LIKE A GLOVE
Biggest Loser: COUNT THE WEIGHS
Homer Simpson: EAT MY SHORTS
We've gone from deep probing science to concise wording on candy just to wish you a requited Sweet and Happy Valentine’s Day.
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/02/13/columnists/doc47b203fd12255488009633.txt
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
1/30/08
California streaming
TRI-O’s:Oddities, observations & opinions
By Herb Kandel
We have all heard the theory of the “six degrees of separation,” which asserts that anyone can be connected to any other person through a chain of acquaintances that has at most six others. Stretching this premise to include the past and six plus degrees of similarities: How do the events of 160 years ago relate to Arnold Schwartzenegger, governor of California, today? Let’s connect some dots.
It started when Johann was born in Germany of Swiss parents. He later changed his name to John and gave himself the title of captain (falsely claiming to have been an officer in the Swiss Guard). He became an adventurer, a planter and a big land owner. He was Swiss, American, Mexican and then again American by repeated naturalizations. He fled Switzerland, and his creditors, leaving behind a wife and children, promising to bring them over as soon as he was able. It was 16 years later that this pledge was kept.
America was his hope for opportunity and wealth. From New York he went to Kansas City, Mo., where he started a trading company between there and Santa Fe, N.M. His wanderlust eventually took him to Vancouver, Hawaii, Sitka, Alaska, Yerba Buena (now San Francisco) and Monterey, the capital of Mexican California. Always the opportunist he became a Mexican citizen, a Roman Catholic, an overseer of the Indian residents and a civil official of the Mexican government. He did all this in order to obtain a land grant of almost 50,000 acres. Another requirement was to establish a permanent settlement. So up the Sacramento River he and his entourage sailed to create the first non-native/Mexican presence in the Sacramento Valley. He named the area New Helvetia (New Switzerland).
In addition to the mud brick huts, he built a sturdy fort as a protection from the Mexican government because they had arrested some new immigrants on slim charges and to give the perception of castle-like security to prospective new settlers, for he knew the value of his land would increase in direct proportion to their numbers — not to mention that they would have to buy all their supplies from his trading post. Using New Helvetia as collateral, he bought more trading outposts. In July 1846, the Mexican flag was replaced by the Stars and Stripes over California. John by this time had a distillery, a tannery and a flour mill. The westward march was started, now a sawmill was necessary to provide the lumber for all the new homes. He gave it his name. It is still called Sutter’s Mill.
It was here on Jan. 24, 1848 that yellow nuggets were discovered near the mill site and the Gold Rush was on!
The land was soon teeming with squatters and rouges who overran the land. They killed his cattle and laid waste the progress in their mad pursuit of gold; 40,000 prospectors trampled the grounds he could not defend. John Sutter sued the government for $50,000 for his losses. He was to die before any settlement was made. In his diary he states, “By this sudden discovery of the gold, all my great plans were destroyed. Had I succeeded for a few years before the gold was discovered, I would have been the richest citizen on the Pacific shore.”
So, where does all this fit in with Gov. Arnold in six plus degrees of similarity?
Both were born near the same geographic locality.
They were from middle class families and sought new opportunities in America.
Each had four children.
Personality-wise both they share the common traits of amiability, making friends, ambition, optimism, business savvy and being politically connected.
They both relied on Hispanic residents for support and industry.
Both were candidates for governor (only Arnold succeeded).
Schwartzenegger holds dual citizenship in the U.S. and Austria. Sutter had several.
Financial independence for both came as a result of successful investments, business projects and real estate.
They had titles. Arnold won Mr. Universe and Mr. Olympia. Sutter anointed himself captain and was appointed major general by the California Convention.
And lastly, both took chances. Arnold was involved in two motorcycle accidents along with being in countless close calls in the movies. Sutter put himself in many threatening situations. One can just see him emerging from a dangerous circumstance and voicing in in that menacing guttural tone, ala Arnold, “Ah’ll be bahk.”
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/01/30/columnists/doc479f9899a454a448276989.txt
California streaming
TRI-O’s:Oddities, observations & opinions
By Herb Kandel
We have all heard the theory of the “six degrees of separation,” which asserts that anyone can be connected to any other person through a chain of acquaintances that has at most six others. Stretching this premise to include the past and six plus degrees of similarities: How do the events of 160 years ago relate to Arnold Schwartzenegger, governor of California, today? Let’s connect some dots.
It started when Johann was born in Germany of Swiss parents. He later changed his name to John and gave himself the title of captain (falsely claiming to have been an officer in the Swiss Guard). He became an adventurer, a planter and a big land owner. He was Swiss, American, Mexican and then again American by repeated naturalizations. He fled Switzerland, and his creditors, leaving behind a wife and children, promising to bring them over as soon as he was able. It was 16 years later that this pledge was kept.
America was his hope for opportunity and wealth. From New York he went to Kansas City, Mo., where he started a trading company between there and Santa Fe, N.M. His wanderlust eventually took him to Vancouver, Hawaii, Sitka, Alaska, Yerba Buena (now San Francisco) and Monterey, the capital of Mexican California. Always the opportunist he became a Mexican citizen, a Roman Catholic, an overseer of the Indian residents and a civil official of the Mexican government. He did all this in order to obtain a land grant of almost 50,000 acres. Another requirement was to establish a permanent settlement. So up the Sacramento River he and his entourage sailed to create the first non-native/Mexican presence in the Sacramento Valley. He named the area New Helvetia (New Switzerland).
In addition to the mud brick huts, he built a sturdy fort as a protection from the Mexican government because they had arrested some new immigrants on slim charges and to give the perception of castle-like security to prospective new settlers, for he knew the value of his land would increase in direct proportion to their numbers — not to mention that they would have to buy all their supplies from his trading post. Using New Helvetia as collateral, he bought more trading outposts. In July 1846, the Mexican flag was replaced by the Stars and Stripes over California. John by this time had a distillery, a tannery and a flour mill. The westward march was started, now a sawmill was necessary to provide the lumber for all the new homes. He gave it his name. It is still called Sutter’s Mill.
It was here on Jan. 24, 1848 that yellow nuggets were discovered near the mill site and the Gold Rush was on!
The land was soon teeming with squatters and rouges who overran the land. They killed his cattle and laid waste the progress in their mad pursuit of gold; 40,000 prospectors trampled the grounds he could not defend. John Sutter sued the government for $50,000 for his losses. He was to die before any settlement was made. In his diary he states, “By this sudden discovery of the gold, all my great plans were destroyed. Had I succeeded for a few years before the gold was discovered, I would have been the richest citizen on the Pacific shore.”
So, where does all this fit in with Gov. Arnold in six plus degrees of similarity?
Both were born near the same geographic locality.
They were from middle class families and sought new opportunities in America.
Each had four children.
Personality-wise both they share the common traits of amiability, making friends, ambition, optimism, business savvy and being politically connected.
They both relied on Hispanic residents for support and industry.
Both were candidates for governor (only Arnold succeeded).
Schwartzenegger holds dual citizenship in the U.S. and Austria. Sutter had several.
Financial independence for both came as a result of successful investments, business projects and real estate.
They had titles. Arnold won Mr. Universe and Mr. Olympia. Sutter anointed himself captain and was appointed major general by the California Convention.
And lastly, both took chances. Arnold was involved in two motorcycle accidents along with being in countless close calls in the movies. Sutter put himself in many threatening situations. One can just see him emerging from a dangerous circumstance and voicing in in that menacing guttural tone, ala Arnold, “Ah’ll be bahk.”
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/01/30/columnists/doc479f9899a454a448276989.txt
Thursday, January 17, 2008
1/16/08
Some of the sum of parts
Tri-O's
Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
Some say it was Aristotle who originated the phrase “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts” while others attribute it to the Gestalt School of Psychology. Regardless of where it came from, the epitome of this virtual cliché is my longtime friend Dan (all names changed).
He got me thinking about it when he asked for my opinion, which in itself is unusual for he has so many strong ones of his own. Last week I found him sitting with a far away look in his eyes, you know the kind where someone seems to be drifting to a place other than the here and now.
“Dan, is something wrong?”
“Do I look different to you?” he asked back.
“Other than your shirt with the buttons in a button hole one above where they should be, no. Why do you ask?”
As he re-aligned his shirt buttons he said, “This morning Stella (his wife) said I didn’t look like myself. She said I appeared somewhat peaked, more pooped than usual. And I got to thinking, maybe it’s about time that some parts of me started the aging process, too.”
“What do you mean by that?” was my snappy reply.
Whereupon he vented, “I got to thinking that from the time I open my eyes in the morning, I see through new lenses that took the place of my cataracted ones. Then I leveraged myself from bed to a sitting position with a repaired shoulder rotor cuff. I stood up braced on my artificial knees, balanced by my ceramic hips, and straightened a fused spine where a herniated disc once was. Afterward, I used a long handled shoehorn to put on a pair of slip-on orthotic shoes for my flat feet.
“Stella had the TV playing but I could not see or hear it clearly until I inserted my contact lenses and hearing aids.“I shaved using my carpal tunneled hand, which left a few nicks on my face. Then I combed my Rogaine-enhanced hair, touched up with Just for Men, before crunching my breakfast cereal with a set of teeth that has several bridges, silver fillings, and a gold crown.
“My pacemaker jolted me with a kick in the chest when it got my ticker back in sync again. I was now ready for the day.
“So I ask again: Do I look any different?”
I knew about some of Dan’s ailments and tried not to look stunned by the anatomy inventory recitation.“Dan,” said I, “I think you are a walking wonder. Not only have you survived all those procedures and are able to function near normal but just think of all the possibilities you present both now and in the future. When you become frustrated, you can truthfully declare that you were ‘beside yourself,’ or that you’re not ‘feeling like yourself.’ If you were to be cremated, you would not be able to fit into a standard urn, but you would become a treasure-trove to a used prosthetic collector.
“All joking aside, I do believe you are the living proof that the whole IS more than the sum of its parts. For without some of the parts provided by modern medical technology, you may not have still been here. Just think of a bunch of microchips, circuits, wires, transistors, and batteries — all by themselves they are junk or less, but put together properly they can be a computer, a GPS, an MP3 player, or a Bill Gates. So like the old song says, consider yourself fortunate “to be in the condition your condition is in.”
“I guess you’re right,” he said thinking it over. “And I’ll walk you back to your car as soon as I shake off this restless leg syndrome.”
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/01/16/columnists/doc478d20e08f780487991213.txt
Some of the sum of parts
Tri-O's
Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
Some say it was Aristotle who originated the phrase “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts” while others attribute it to the Gestalt School of Psychology. Regardless of where it came from, the epitome of this virtual cliché is my longtime friend Dan (all names changed).
He got me thinking about it when he asked for my opinion, which in itself is unusual for he has so many strong ones of his own. Last week I found him sitting with a far away look in his eyes, you know the kind where someone seems to be drifting to a place other than the here and now.
“Dan, is something wrong?”
“Do I look different to you?” he asked back.
“Other than your shirt with the buttons in a button hole one above where they should be, no. Why do you ask?”
As he re-aligned his shirt buttons he said, “This morning Stella (his wife) said I didn’t look like myself. She said I appeared somewhat peaked, more pooped than usual. And I got to thinking, maybe it’s about time that some parts of me started the aging process, too.”
“What do you mean by that?” was my snappy reply.
Whereupon he vented, “I got to thinking that from the time I open my eyes in the morning, I see through new lenses that took the place of my cataracted ones. Then I leveraged myself from bed to a sitting position with a repaired shoulder rotor cuff. I stood up braced on my artificial knees, balanced by my ceramic hips, and straightened a fused spine where a herniated disc once was. Afterward, I used a long handled shoehorn to put on a pair of slip-on orthotic shoes for my flat feet.
“Stella had the TV playing but I could not see or hear it clearly until I inserted my contact lenses and hearing aids.“I shaved using my carpal tunneled hand, which left a few nicks on my face. Then I combed my Rogaine-enhanced hair, touched up with Just for Men, before crunching my breakfast cereal with a set of teeth that has several bridges, silver fillings, and a gold crown.
“My pacemaker jolted me with a kick in the chest when it got my ticker back in sync again. I was now ready for the day.
“So I ask again: Do I look any different?”
I knew about some of Dan’s ailments and tried not to look stunned by the anatomy inventory recitation.“Dan,” said I, “I think you are a walking wonder. Not only have you survived all those procedures and are able to function near normal but just think of all the possibilities you present both now and in the future. When you become frustrated, you can truthfully declare that you were ‘beside yourself,’ or that you’re not ‘feeling like yourself.’ If you were to be cremated, you would not be able to fit into a standard urn, but you would become a treasure-trove to a used prosthetic collector.
“All joking aside, I do believe you are the living proof that the whole IS more than the sum of its parts. For without some of the parts provided by modern medical technology, you may not have still been here. Just think of a bunch of microchips, circuits, wires, transistors, and batteries — all by themselves they are junk or less, but put together properly they can be a computer, a GPS, an MP3 player, or a Bill Gates. So like the old song says, consider yourself fortunate “to be in the condition your condition is in.”
“I guess you’re right,” he said thinking it over. “And I’ll walk you back to your car as soon as I shake off this restless leg syndrome.”
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/01/16/columnists/doc478d20e08f780487991213.txt
Saturday, January 05, 2008
1/5/08
Dear Santa - belatedly
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
Not too many folks know it but Santa receives letters all year long not just the approaching Christmas season. Oh, he too sometimes runs late. That is why the “After Christmas Sales” were established (also those cards and gifts labeled “belated”). This year was no exception. Want to see some of the ones Santa received after December 25th and how he responded? Let’s peek through the open flaps:
Dear Santa, Sorry to be late this year, I was kind of busy checking Obama’s wish list he made in 3rd grade. The crayon markings were smudged so it took more time to interpret than I expected. Do you know that he wanted to be POTUS ( President of the United States) almost before he was POTTY trained? I think ambition is a good trait to have but not when it becomes an obsession. All I want this coming year is to win a few caucuses. Iowa and New Hampshire would be a nice start. If you could just help me to keep Bill from internalizing his desires (and vice versa), for my election and let him just keep focused on being becoming First Laddie (his choice of title), I would love you even more than I do my new found cleavage. Oh, yes, and forget about all those high viewing ratings I wished for Oprah last year (who wants a president with the initials B.O. Anyway?) (signed) HRC
Dear Hillary, It was nice hearing from you again. You wrote to me last year when you were up for re-election but the time before that was in 2000, the first time you ran for senator. Are you just using me? To quote Don Imus, “Ho, ho….just joking“. A few of your opponents got their lists in before you, sorry to say. John Edwards traded in his comb and brush for an additional watch so he could keep time with each America. Bill Richardson got in early too. He made double sure I received his message by pressing ‘2’ for Spanish. Joe Biden said he wasn't concerned about transplanted foreigners as long as no one interfered with transplanted follicles. Barack Obama was the earliest bird who asked that a “skinny, tall kid, whose ears stick out” (who remained nameless) not be left behind when votes were counted. But being benevolent to all, I say, “We shall see” (or should that be "Si“?) (signed) Santa
Dear Santa, I know I'm late but, shucks, a fella can't be everywhere driving an old red pickup and diapering a baby too. You know I gave up Hollywood “Law & Order” to try fixin’ universal law and order. This is one ole’ Tennessee boy who may start out last and slow but sure don't want to segue to fade after the close-up. Sure, Rudy boasts of his management skills on 9/11, McCain his ’Nam imprisonment, Mitt his business acumen, and Huckabee his humble beginnings, but name me the only candidate who has the complete set of Jack Daniel’s commemorative decanters from 1913 on? That’s right, Santa, this Bubba respects the maven of moon shiners. Now I'm not asking for any special favoritism in the voting but I also came from a poor background and worked myself up the monetary ladder as a senator, lobbyist, and actor (not that there is anything wrong with that). Keep me in mind just as you did that other politician/actor Ronald Reagan in 1980, and let’s win this one for The Sipper. (signed) FDT
Dear Fred, Thanks for thinking of me when I know that you and your wife Jeri are on the campaign trail. Seems to me she was enough of a gift, and challenge (some called it ’trophy’) when you two got hitched. Even though she is two years younger than one of your daughters I know you think that your opponents are jealous and hold this against you. But consider it a blessing, for as you plod along no one has made it an issue, and just think if Hillary had married a ‘hottie’ and had two more babies - she would have been ridiculed (not to mention tired), or if Mitt Romney had another wife (let’s not go there). So, Fred just give thanks to be who and where you are and you if you are lucky you won't finish the race as your favorite Jack Daniel’s …….Old No. 7 (signed) Santa
Dear Santa baby, Was delayed because of jail-mail restrictions, forgivey-poo. All I want for Christmas is my two frontal lobes. PWH
Dear Paris, Some things even Santa cannot do.!
And a belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all.
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/01/05/columnists/doc477e93ceddefc938416601
Dear Santa - belatedly
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
Not too many folks know it but Santa receives letters all year long not just the approaching Christmas season. Oh, he too sometimes runs late. That is why the “After Christmas Sales” were established (also those cards and gifts labeled “belated”). This year was no exception. Want to see some of the ones Santa received after December 25th and how he responded? Let’s peek through the open flaps:
Dear Santa, Sorry to be late this year, I was kind of busy checking Obama’s wish list he made in 3rd grade. The crayon markings were smudged so it took more time to interpret than I expected. Do you know that he wanted to be POTUS ( President of the United States) almost before he was POTTY trained? I think ambition is a good trait to have but not when it becomes an obsession. All I want this coming year is to win a few caucuses. Iowa and New Hampshire would be a nice start. If you could just help me to keep Bill from internalizing his desires (and vice versa), for my election and let him just keep focused on being becoming First Laddie (his choice of title), I would love you even more than I do my new found cleavage. Oh, yes, and forget about all those high viewing ratings I wished for Oprah last year (who wants a president with the initials B.O. Anyway?) (signed) HRC
Dear Hillary, It was nice hearing from you again. You wrote to me last year when you were up for re-election but the time before that was in 2000, the first time you ran for senator. Are you just using me? To quote Don Imus, “Ho, ho….just joking“. A few of your opponents got their lists in before you, sorry to say. John Edwards traded in his comb and brush for an additional watch so he could keep time with each America. Bill Richardson got in early too. He made double sure I received his message by pressing ‘2’ for Spanish. Joe Biden said he wasn't concerned about transplanted foreigners as long as no one interfered with transplanted follicles. Barack Obama was the earliest bird who asked that a “skinny, tall kid, whose ears stick out” (who remained nameless) not be left behind when votes were counted. But being benevolent to all, I say, “We shall see” (or should that be "Si“?) (signed) Santa
Dear Santa, I know I'm late but, shucks, a fella can't be everywhere driving an old red pickup and diapering a baby too. You know I gave up Hollywood “Law & Order” to try fixin’ universal law and order. This is one ole’ Tennessee boy who may start out last and slow but sure don't want to segue to fade after the close-up. Sure, Rudy boasts of his management skills on 9/11, McCain his ’Nam imprisonment, Mitt his business acumen, and Huckabee his humble beginnings, but name me the only candidate who has the complete set of Jack Daniel’s commemorative decanters from 1913 on? That’s right, Santa, this Bubba respects the maven of moon shiners. Now I'm not asking for any special favoritism in the voting but I also came from a poor background and worked myself up the monetary ladder as a senator, lobbyist, and actor (not that there is anything wrong with that). Keep me in mind just as you did that other politician/actor Ronald Reagan in 1980, and let’s win this one for The Sipper. (signed) FDT
Dear Fred, Thanks for thinking of me when I know that you and your wife Jeri are on the campaign trail. Seems to me she was enough of a gift, and challenge (some called it ’trophy’) when you two got hitched. Even though she is two years younger than one of your daughters I know you think that your opponents are jealous and hold this against you. But consider it a blessing, for as you plod along no one has made it an issue, and just think if Hillary had married a ‘hottie’ and had two more babies - she would have been ridiculed (not to mention tired), or if Mitt Romney had another wife (let’s not go there). So, Fred just give thanks to be who and where you are and you if you are lucky you won't finish the race as your favorite Jack Daniel’s …….Old No. 7 (signed) Santa
Dear Santa baby, Was delayed because of jail-mail restrictions, forgivey-poo. All I want for Christmas is my two frontal lobes. PWH
Dear Paris, Some things even Santa cannot do.!
And a belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all.
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2008/01/05/columnists/doc477e93ceddefc938416601
Friday, December 21, 2007
12/19/07
Chestnuts roasting @ I-musinf
Tri-O's
Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
Music, especially this time of year, evokes special memories. Here we are in the era of cyberspace where information is a click away. Why not combine the two as a sort of “do it yourself” to start a new a new tradition of music and information, let’s call it “I-musinf”
We all know that Mel Torme and Bob Welles wrote “The Christmas Song” and Nat “King” Cole delivered the classic vocal rendition. Well, now we too can sing along knowing not only the lyrics but also how to grasp the unembellished quintessence of them. As you read, sing, or hum along remember that each link listed is a live one so keep your speakers on as we recall the familiar melody:
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
How to roast chestnuts: www.ehow.com/how_9918_roast-chestnuts-open.html
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
Frostbite prevention: www.surviveoutdoors.com/reference/frostbite.asp
Yule-tide carols being sung by a choir
Learn choir songs: www.choirsongs.net/
And folks dressed up like Eskimos.
Eskimo costumes: www.yandy.com/Eskimo-Cutie.php
Everybody knows a turkey
Turkey nutrition : www.nebraskapoultry.org/turkey_nutrition.htm
And some mistletoe
How mistletoe works: www.christmas.howstuffworks.com/mistletoe1.htm
Help to make the season bright
Where to get Christmas lights: www.christmaslightsetc.com/
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
How eyes shine? www.geocities.com/Area51/Stargate/5103/wildman/eye.htm
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.
Sleeping aids: www.mayoclinic.com/health/sleeping-pills/SL00010
They know that Santa's on his way
Trace Santa’s route: www.earth.google.com/santa/
He's loaded lots of toys
Santa toy factory: www.santafty.com/
And goodies on his sleigh
Jingle bells on a sleigh ride: www.horsesforhire.net/sleigh.htm
And every mother's child is gonna spy
Obtain spy and security items: www.spyitems.com/
To see if reindeer
A guide to reindeer information: www.reindeer.ws/info.htm
Really know how to fly.
Learn to fly: www.beapilot.com/
And so I'm offering this simple phrase
The blue book of grammar and punctuation: www.grammarbook.com/
To kids from one to ninety-two
Child development: www.childdevelopmentinfo.com/
Growing and learning: www.suddenlysenior.com/
Although it's been said
Everyday sayings explained: www.brochuresonline.net/sayings/
Many times, many ways
High frequency words: www.eduplace.com/rdg/res/frequent.html
Merry Christmas to you.
Merry Christmas in over 360 languages: www.flw.com/merry.htm
So, however you may celebrate the Holiday Season we wish it to be safe, joyous, and harmonious .….. as well as informative.
CLICK
As a special treat, hear Nat Cole and view a montage of the song:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=IaxDGfA7evA
To see and hear Nat Cole himself: www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oj3jixMGaw
P.S. And, alas, this Christmas stress survival guide may come in handy: www.hubpages.com/hub/Holiday-Stress-Survival-Guide
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2007/12/19/columnists/doc4768282d1988c232582392.txt
Chestnuts roasting @ I-musinf
Tri-O's
Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
Music, especially this time of year, evokes special memories. Here we are in the era of cyberspace where information is a click away. Why not combine the two as a sort of “do it yourself” to start a new a new tradition of music and information, let’s call it “I-musinf”
We all know that Mel Torme and Bob Welles wrote “The Christmas Song” and Nat “King” Cole delivered the classic vocal rendition. Well, now we too can sing along knowing not only the lyrics but also how to grasp the unembellished quintessence of them. As you read, sing, or hum along remember that each link listed is a live one so keep your speakers on as we recall the familiar melody:
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
How to roast chestnuts: www.ehow.com/how_9918_roast-chestnuts-open.html
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
Frostbite prevention: www.surviveoutdoors.com/reference/frostbite.asp
Yule-tide carols being sung by a choir
Learn choir songs: www.choirsongs.net/
And folks dressed up like Eskimos.
Eskimo costumes: www.yandy.com/Eskimo-Cutie.php
Everybody knows a turkey
Turkey nutrition : www.nebraskapoultry.org/turkey_nutrition.htm
And some mistletoe
How mistletoe works: www.christmas.howstuffworks.com/mistletoe1.htm
Help to make the season bright
Where to get Christmas lights: www.christmaslightsetc.com/
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
How eyes shine? www.geocities.com/Area51/Stargate/5103/wildman/eye.htm
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.
Sleeping aids: www.mayoclinic.com/health/sleeping-pills/SL00010
They know that Santa's on his way
Trace Santa’s route: www.earth.google.com/santa/
He's loaded lots of toys
Santa toy factory: www.santafty.com/
And goodies on his sleigh
Jingle bells on a sleigh ride: www.horsesforhire.net/sleigh.htm
And every mother's child is gonna spy
Obtain spy and security items: www.spyitems.com/
To see if reindeer
A guide to reindeer information: www.reindeer.ws/info.htm
Really know how to fly.
Learn to fly: www.beapilot.com/
And so I'm offering this simple phrase
The blue book of grammar and punctuation: www.grammarbook.com/
To kids from one to ninety-two
Child development: www.childdevelopmentinfo.com/
Growing and learning: www.suddenlysenior.com/
Although it's been said
Everyday sayings explained: www.brochuresonline.net/sayings/
Many times, many ways
High frequency words: www.eduplace.com/rdg/res/frequent.html
Merry Christmas to you.
Merry Christmas in over 360 languages: www.flw.com/merry.htm
So, however you may celebrate the Holiday Season we wish it to be safe, joyous, and harmonious .….. as well as informative.
CLICK
As a special treat, hear Nat Cole and view a montage of the song:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=IaxDGfA7evA
To see and hear Nat Cole himself: www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oj3jixMGaw
P.S. And, alas, this Christmas stress survival guide may come in handy: www.hubpages.com/hub/Holiday-Stress-Survival-Guide
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2007/12/19/columnists/doc4768282d1988c232582392.txt
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
12/5;07
Miracles 101, Again
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions By Herb Kandel
Well here we are again, the time of year when we share the Holidays with family and other loved ones. And also the time we hear of Christmas miracles. Positive outcomes from dismal beginnings with unaccounted explanations as to how they occurred. Sometimes we credit a higher power and sometimes just plain luck for the intervention. But there are those who can attribute their ³miracle² to their personal efforts. Here are a few examples.
On a hot August day in 1982 Thomas Chen landed at Kennedy Airport. It was a long flight from Taiwan for the 27 year old. With little cash, he knew only one person in this new land, and he spoke no English. Fast forward 25 years: Chen is president and one of the co-founders of Crystal Window & Door Systems which booked $62 million in sales and has some 450 employees working at offices in eight states it is one of the top 60 manufacturers of replacement and new construction vinyl and aluminum window and door products in North America. How did this happen?
It took him two weeks before he landed the job for a moving company. Within a month he was studying English. First with adult classes then spending his wages on private tutoring and group classes. As his language skills improved so did his employment. As a former metal worker in Taiwan, who had never been to college, he decided to invest his savings on what he knew: welding.
He formed steel into window bars and gates in his basement apartment, then sold the safety devices to local customers in Chinatown and Flushing. He continued to read and studied business management. In 1987 he, with two partners took the plunge by starting Crystal. He also believes in "giving back". Crystal provides free English classes for employees. He also has given a local Community College an endowment to provide scholarships so immigrants can enroll in the school's English classes for free.
Then there was the lady who was a single mother on welfare. It was 1993, the flat where she lived was unheated and rife with mice. She was fighting poverty and depression. So she nursed espresso at the café at the rate of two hours a cup as she wrote in the notebook while the baby slept in the carriage. The idea for the story came to her on a delayed train while going to London three years before, it would take four more years before the idea became a book.
She submitted the manuscript to three British publishers only to receive rejection slips. A fourth publisher signed her up and it was published under her initials because they feared that boys would be put off if they knew it was written by a woman. That was how J.K. Rowling got "Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone" into U.S. print in 1998. More books followed as well as the enchanted movies. Her wealth soared like a wizard on a broomstick. It is reported that Rowling is now worth $444 million -- more than the Queen of England.
A hot cup of coffee spills in your lap. What to do?
Solution 1: Sue and collect damages just like the Grandma Vs. McDonald's.
Solution 2: Find a better way to solve the problem and profit by it.
When Jay Sorensen¹s company left town he dabbled in real estate, he "wasn't very good at it." Sorensen was doing his best to support his family and looking for more ways. The "eureka" moment came when he spilled coffee and chose Solution 2.
He observed that coffee-house customers were holding the cups between their thumb and forefingers to avoid burning their hands. Sorensen's solution? A sleeve that would fit around the coffee cups. He developed the idea, then offered it to Starbucks. They wanted exclusive rights and were stalling in making a decision. So Sorensen took it on his own. He scraped together finances to found his company, Java Jacket, hire a patent attorney, and had 100,000 coffee cup jackets made from waffled, recycled cardboard.
Sorensen returned to the cafe where he had originally spilled the coffee. While waiting for the owner he read about a coffee trade show to be held a week later. He had no money to attend. The cafe owner was his first sale. The money was used to attend the trade show, where he got 150 orders. He followed that up with hand-written notes and a sample sleeve to the other 3,500 trade-show attendees. Sales of this family-owned company is now between 20-25 million sleeves a month, to local cafes to national chains.
According to FORBES magazine "Almost two-thirds of the world's 946 billionaires made their fortunes from scratch, relying on grit and determination, and not good genes."
Or waiting for miracles.
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2007/12/05/columnists/doc4755d47be1a04155602953.txt
Miracles 101, Again
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions By Herb Kandel
Well here we are again, the time of year when we share the Holidays with family and other loved ones. And also the time we hear of Christmas miracles. Positive outcomes from dismal beginnings with unaccounted explanations as to how they occurred. Sometimes we credit a higher power and sometimes just plain luck for the intervention. But there are those who can attribute their ³miracle² to their personal efforts. Here are a few examples.
On a hot August day in 1982 Thomas Chen landed at Kennedy Airport. It was a long flight from Taiwan for the 27 year old. With little cash, he knew only one person in this new land, and he spoke no English. Fast forward 25 years: Chen is president and one of the co-founders of Crystal Window & Door Systems which booked $62 million in sales and has some 450 employees working at offices in eight states it is one of the top 60 manufacturers of replacement and new construction vinyl and aluminum window and door products in North America. How did this happen?
It took him two weeks before he landed the job for a moving company. Within a month he was studying English. First with adult classes then spending his wages on private tutoring and group classes. As his language skills improved so did his employment. As a former metal worker in Taiwan, who had never been to college, he decided to invest his savings on what he knew: welding.
He formed steel into window bars and gates in his basement apartment, then sold the safety devices to local customers in Chinatown and Flushing. He continued to read and studied business management. In 1987 he, with two partners took the plunge by starting Crystal. He also believes in "giving back". Crystal provides free English classes for employees. He also has given a local Community College an endowment to provide scholarships so immigrants can enroll in the school's English classes for free.
Then there was the lady who was a single mother on welfare. It was 1993, the flat where she lived was unheated and rife with mice. She was fighting poverty and depression. So she nursed espresso at the café at the rate of two hours a cup as she wrote in the notebook while the baby slept in the carriage. The idea for the story came to her on a delayed train while going to London three years before, it would take four more years before the idea became a book.
She submitted the manuscript to three British publishers only to receive rejection slips. A fourth publisher signed her up and it was published under her initials because they feared that boys would be put off if they knew it was written by a woman. That was how J.K. Rowling got "Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone" into U.S. print in 1998. More books followed as well as the enchanted movies. Her wealth soared like a wizard on a broomstick. It is reported that Rowling is now worth $444 million -- more than the Queen of England.
A hot cup of coffee spills in your lap. What to do?
Solution 1: Sue and collect damages just like the Grandma Vs. McDonald's.
Solution 2: Find a better way to solve the problem and profit by it.
When Jay Sorensen¹s company left town he dabbled in real estate, he "wasn't very good at it." Sorensen was doing his best to support his family and looking for more ways. The "eureka" moment came when he spilled coffee and chose Solution 2.
He observed that coffee-house customers were holding the cups between their thumb and forefingers to avoid burning their hands. Sorensen's solution? A sleeve that would fit around the coffee cups. He developed the idea, then offered it to Starbucks. They wanted exclusive rights and were stalling in making a decision. So Sorensen took it on his own. He scraped together finances to found his company, Java Jacket, hire a patent attorney, and had 100,000 coffee cup jackets made from waffled, recycled cardboard.
Sorensen returned to the cafe where he had originally spilled the coffee. While waiting for the owner he read about a coffee trade show to be held a week later. He had no money to attend. The cafe owner was his first sale. The money was used to attend the trade show, where he got 150 orders. He followed that up with hand-written notes and a sample sleeve to the other 3,500 trade-show attendees. Sales of this family-owned company is now between 20-25 million sleeves a month, to local cafes to national chains.
According to FORBES magazine "Almost two-thirds of the world's 946 billionaires made their fortunes from scratch, relying on grit and determination, and not good genes."
Or waiting for miracles.
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2007/12/05/columnists/doc4755d47be1a04155602953.txt
Friday, November 23, 2007
11/21/07
When Biscuits met Gravy
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
Perhaps you’ve forgotten the story. It happened in November 2004 at about this time of year. It was in all the newspapers and TV. But I can’t fault you for not remembering…..so many other things were happening like Afghanistan, Iraq, the economy, and blow-out bargains at stores (so….what else is new?). It all began with President Harry Truman back in 1947. Now, it’s not everyday that one gets to meet the president of the United States in person, especially those from such humble beginnings. But I’m getting ahead of myself. So, let me tell you how this particular meeting came about.
They came from a small farm in the town of Mahias, West Virginia. It was a large family. The first difficulty encountered when entering the world was learning how to drink and swallow. It was no easy task to master. The process in achieving this was fraught with danger. Were it not for those nurturing hands of those caring for them at the time, they would no longer be here. Because they were so fragile the temperature had to be carefully controlled ; too hot and they had a fit of panting, too cold led to uncontrollable shivers and possible smothering. Because of their skin condition they were susceptible to other maladies such as external parasites. Later ramps were necessary for them to gain room access. They overcame each obstacle and became healthier because of it as they grew. Even their food had to be prepared in precise nutritional proportions to aid in their well being and proper growth. And grow they did.
Everyone pitched in with the work and the days were long. They had small creature comforts but nothing elaborate, ornate, or expensive. It was not easy going, for at times when production was down and there were more mouths to feed they divided everything equally. There was a complete lack of privacy as many had to share the frugal surroundings, but there was never a time they went hungry or suffered from lack of supervision. In fact they were kept under constant surveillance for monitoring as well as their own protection. Because of the past traditions, recommended care, and circumstances both felt that they could never “spread their wings”, so to speak.
Not many long survive the rigors of such beginnings for most become just another statistic on federal reports and items on a grocery list to get checked off. But as fate would have it, through extra special attention such as the hand feeding of their supervised diet, being coddled by caring individuals, and not having to tolerate the grit and gravel of the usual existence, they prospered. So much so that they not only gained in health, and stature but also in prestige among their peers. They were now the leaders in the pecking order of things.
Thanksgiving time was approaching. It was a long standing tradition that the major caretaker had to go among the many offspring to make a selection as to who this year would be invited to the White House dinner. All the siblings flocked around him when he entered their space. Most were deserving and eager to be selected, but there were some dumb clucks who could not care a feather of a fig if it was them. But choices had to be made and they were.
In 1947 the first National Thanksgiving Turkey was presented to President Harry Truman and this marked the 57th anniversary of the event. President Lincoln and other presidents intermittently received live turkeys but not in an official presentation. This was how, in 2004, President Bush and the First Lady officially met Biscuits and Gravy.
They were 22 weeks old, broad-breasted, and each weighed about 40 pounds. As mentioned they were periodically hand fed a careful diet of corn and soybeans along with a continuous source of fresh water. A lot of human interaction was provided in order for them to be “properly presented” during the Rose Garden ceremony. In fact they did so well that they were granted a Presidential “pardon”. The reason two are chosen is just in case one becomes ill and cannot participate, just like the “First Runner-Up “ in a pageant.
After the “pardon” Biscuits and Gravy retired to a replica 1930’s farm, Kidwell Farm in Frying Pan Park, Fairfax County, Virginia. There they joined all the Thanksgiving Day Turkeys and their alternates of the past 15 years, received a lot of attention at this petting zoo and molted happily ever after.
So now we are thankful that these “birds on the land are better off than those two in the Bushes”
Happy Thanksgiving
www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2007/11/23/columnists/doc474217ad5fdf5185561221.txt
When Biscuits met Gravy
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
Perhaps you’ve forgotten the story. It happened in November 2004 at about this time of year. It was in all the newspapers and TV. But I can’t fault you for not remembering…..so many other things were happening like Afghanistan, Iraq, the economy, and blow-out bargains at stores (so….what else is new?). It all began with President Harry Truman back in 1947. Now, it’s not everyday that one gets to meet the president of the United States in person, especially those from such humble beginnings. But I’m getting ahead of myself. So, let me tell you how this particular meeting came about.
They came from a small farm in the town of Mahias, West Virginia. It was a large family. The first difficulty encountered when entering the world was learning how to drink and swallow. It was no easy task to master. The process in achieving this was fraught with danger. Were it not for those nurturing hands of those caring for them at the time, they would no longer be here. Because they were so fragile the temperature had to be carefully controlled ; too hot and they had a fit of panting, too cold led to uncontrollable shivers and possible smothering. Because of their skin condition they were susceptible to other maladies such as external parasites. Later ramps were necessary for them to gain room access. They overcame each obstacle and became healthier because of it as they grew. Even their food had to be prepared in precise nutritional proportions to aid in their well being and proper growth. And grow they did.
Everyone pitched in with the work and the days were long. They had small creature comforts but nothing elaborate, ornate, or expensive. It was not easy going, for at times when production was down and there were more mouths to feed they divided everything equally. There was a complete lack of privacy as many had to share the frugal surroundings, but there was never a time they went hungry or suffered from lack of supervision. In fact they were kept under constant surveillance for monitoring as well as their own protection. Because of the past traditions, recommended care, and circumstances both felt that they could never “spread their wings”, so to speak.
Not many long survive the rigors of such beginnings for most become just another statistic on federal reports and items on a grocery list to get checked off. But as fate would have it, through extra special attention such as the hand feeding of their supervised diet, being coddled by caring individuals, and not having to tolerate the grit and gravel of the usual existence, they prospered. So much so that they not only gained in health, and stature but also in prestige among their peers. They were now the leaders in the pecking order of things.
Thanksgiving time was approaching. It was a long standing tradition that the major caretaker had to go among the many offspring to make a selection as to who this year would be invited to the White House dinner. All the siblings flocked around him when he entered their space. Most were deserving and eager to be selected, but there were some dumb clucks who could not care a feather of a fig if it was them. But choices had to be made and they were.
In 1947 the first National Thanksgiving Turkey was presented to President Harry Truman and this marked the 57th anniversary of the event. President Lincoln and other presidents intermittently received live turkeys but not in an official presentation. This was how, in 2004, President Bush and the First Lady officially met Biscuits and Gravy.
They were 22 weeks old, broad-breasted, and each weighed about 40 pounds. As mentioned they were periodically hand fed a careful diet of corn and soybeans along with a continuous source of fresh water. A lot of human interaction was provided in order for them to be “properly presented” during the Rose Garden ceremony. In fact they did so well that they were granted a Presidential “pardon”. The reason two are chosen is just in case one becomes ill and cannot participate, just like the “First Runner-Up “ in a pageant.
After the “pardon” Biscuits and Gravy retired to a replica 1930’s farm, Kidwell Farm in Frying Pan Park, Fairfax County, Virginia. There they joined all the Thanksgiving Day Turkeys and their alternates of the past 15 years, received a lot of attention at this petting zoo and molted happily ever after.
So now we are thankful that these “birds on the land are better off than those two in the Bushes”
Happy Thanksgiving
www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2007/11/23/columnists/doc474217ad5fdf5185561221.txt
Friday, November 09, 2007
11/7/07
A Long And Winding Road
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
It was only six months after the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. On June 3, 1942 their aircraft struck again at the U.S. Installations at Dutch Harbor in the Aleutian Island Chain. Yes, the same Dutch Harbor from which those vessels launch to catch the Alaskan king crabs (that we see on “The Deadliest Catch”, airing on The Discovery Channel). The Japanese also captured Attu Island and Kiska. Not since the War of 1812 had American territory been occupied by an enemy. It took a year of fierce fighting costing many lives to recapture those territories.
The military had realized the threat of such an invasion through Alaska. For had the Japanese established a base near Anchorage the whole of Alaska would be at peril, “and thus place great pressure upon cities like Seattle, Portland and Vancouver..…..the invasion from Asia was underway” said James A. Michener in his novel “Alaska” .
Three months before the Dutch Harbor attack the U.S. Army had started construction of a road that could transport troops, food, and supplies to tactical points in Alaska. On March 8, 1942 the first shovel was turned into what was to become the Alcan Highway. It was an awesome undertaking. Again, Michener in his description about one of the men involved in the road’s creation writes, “July and August 1942were the closest to hell that he would experience on this earth, for his fifteen-and sixteen hour days were spent in an exhausting routine: drive through that copse of trees in a straight line, flattening evergreens big enough to produce spars for ships, attach wire ropes to stumps and yank them out, push in topsoil from the surrounding areas, level the whole, ride back and forth in the interminable dust to compact the surface, fight mosquitoes all day long and especially at night, to eat lousy food………..[then] finish off four miles before turning in to an exhausted but sometimes sleepless night.”
It took more than 10,000 U.S. Troops in cooperation with Canadian troops and independent contractors to complete this remarkable engineering task. Among those soldiers were four units of the Army's Black Corps of Engineers. They made up over 1/3 of the U.S. Troops but ironically were first considered unfit for these duties because most were from the South and were thought incapable of working in the northern frigid temperatures. When the highway was complete, many were decorated for their efforts and achievements and then transferred to active duty in Europe and the South Pacific. The Army's Black Corps of Engineers were members of the 93rd, 95th, 97th and 388th units.
Eight month and twelve days from that first shovel-full of soil the Alaskan-Canadian (Alcan) Highway was dedicated. This November 21st marks the 65th anniversary of the official dedication. During it’s completion it took the lives of 22 men, and seven airplanes attempting to deliver supplies had crashed. There were numerous and severe injuries for each mile laid. In 1946 the Canadian portion of the highway was transferred to Canada.
It is now spans 1520 miles. Mile 0 is in Dawson Creek, BC, and it leads in a northwesterly direction through Yukon Territory to mile 1520 at Fairbanks, AK. There are 1,190 miles in Canada. It is also connects to the Pan-American Highway system, which means you can drive from Fairbanks to Ushuia (near Cape Horn) at the tip of Argentina. According to Wickipedia “29,800 miles in total length. Except for a 54 MI. Rainforest gap, the road links the mainland nations of the Americas in a connected highway system. According to The Guinness Book of World Records, the Pan-American Highway is the world's longest 'motorable road' "
In June of 1943 the Army Signal Corps completed the radio-telephone line which linked Washington, D.C. To Alaska. It’s 2,000 mile long extension would make it the longest communication system of its kind in the world at that time.
So now we have a long and winding roar that is eligible for Social Security. And just as any senior citizen can attest some days can be creamy smooth while others are rocky road. Almost all of the two-lane highway is surfaced with asphalt but don’t expect to put your cruise control at 65. Some stretches are narrow and curvy missing ample shoulders and at times center lines. Lots of loose gravel can star windshields and “corrugated” areas where “frost heaves” occurred will put a stammer in your speech as you traverse the “washboard”. Sure there can be steep grades, dust, mud, snow, and those darn mosquitoes but with modern vehicles and their comfort accessories the ride is easier. But now it can be considered a “freeway” as compared to what it was when first built. Initially it was a 32 feet wide, singe lane, a muddy twisting trail for trucks and earthmoving equipment built with a single purpose - a lifeline to defend and protect, and that it has.
Happy birthday, Alcan.
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2007/11/08/columnists/doc4730c954060dd789826904.txt
A Long And Winding Road
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
It was only six months after the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. On June 3, 1942 their aircraft struck again at the U.S. Installations at Dutch Harbor in the Aleutian Island Chain. Yes, the same Dutch Harbor from which those vessels launch to catch the Alaskan king crabs (that we see on “The Deadliest Catch”, airing on The Discovery Channel). The Japanese also captured Attu Island and Kiska. Not since the War of 1812 had American territory been occupied by an enemy. It took a year of fierce fighting costing many lives to recapture those territories.
The military had realized the threat of such an invasion through Alaska. For had the Japanese established a base near Anchorage the whole of Alaska would be at peril, “and thus place great pressure upon cities like Seattle, Portland and Vancouver..…..the invasion from Asia was underway” said James A. Michener in his novel “Alaska” .
Three months before the Dutch Harbor attack the U.S. Army had started construction of a road that could transport troops, food, and supplies to tactical points in Alaska. On March 8, 1942 the first shovel was turned into what was to become the Alcan Highway. It was an awesome undertaking. Again, Michener in his description about one of the men involved in the road’s creation writes, “July and August 1942were the closest to hell that he would experience on this earth, for his fifteen-and sixteen hour days were spent in an exhausting routine: drive through that copse of trees in a straight line, flattening evergreens big enough to produce spars for ships, attach wire ropes to stumps and yank them out, push in topsoil from the surrounding areas, level the whole, ride back and forth in the interminable dust to compact the surface, fight mosquitoes all day long and especially at night, to eat lousy food………..[then] finish off four miles before turning in to an exhausted but sometimes sleepless night.”
It took more than 10,000 U.S. Troops in cooperation with Canadian troops and independent contractors to complete this remarkable engineering task. Among those soldiers were four units of the Army's Black Corps of Engineers. They made up over 1/3 of the U.S. Troops but ironically were first considered unfit for these duties because most were from the South and were thought incapable of working in the northern frigid temperatures. When the highway was complete, many were decorated for their efforts and achievements and then transferred to active duty in Europe and the South Pacific. The Army's Black Corps of Engineers were members of the 93rd, 95th, 97th and 388th units.
Eight month and twelve days from that first shovel-full of soil the Alaskan-Canadian (Alcan) Highway was dedicated. This November 21st marks the 65th anniversary of the official dedication. During it’s completion it took the lives of 22 men, and seven airplanes attempting to deliver supplies had crashed. There were numerous and severe injuries for each mile laid. In 1946 the Canadian portion of the highway was transferred to Canada.
It is now spans 1520 miles. Mile 0 is in Dawson Creek, BC, and it leads in a northwesterly direction through Yukon Territory to mile 1520 at Fairbanks, AK. There are 1,190 miles in Canada. It is also connects to the Pan-American Highway system, which means you can drive from Fairbanks to Ushuia (near Cape Horn) at the tip of Argentina. According to Wickipedia “29,800 miles in total length. Except for a 54 MI. Rainforest gap, the road links the mainland nations of the Americas in a connected highway system. According to The Guinness Book of World Records, the Pan-American Highway is the world's longest 'motorable road' "
In June of 1943 the Army Signal Corps completed the radio-telephone line which linked Washington, D.C. To Alaska. It’s 2,000 mile long extension would make it the longest communication system of its kind in the world at that time.
So now we have a long and winding roar that is eligible for Social Security. And just as any senior citizen can attest some days can be creamy smooth while others are rocky road. Almost all of the two-lane highway is surfaced with asphalt but don’t expect to put your cruise control at 65. Some stretches are narrow and curvy missing ample shoulders and at times center lines. Lots of loose gravel can star windshields and “corrugated” areas where “frost heaves” occurred will put a stammer in your speech as you traverse the “washboard”. Sure there can be steep grades, dust, mud, snow, and those darn mosquitoes but with modern vehicles and their comfort accessories the ride is easier. But now it can be considered a “freeway” as compared to what it was when first built. Initially it was a 32 feet wide, singe lane, a muddy twisting trail for trucks and earthmoving equipment built with a single purpose - a lifeline to defend and protect, and that it has.
Happy birthday, Alcan.
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2007/11/08/columnists/doc4730c954060dd789826904.txt
Monday, November 05, 2007
10/24/07
Thoughts of notes
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
It’s strange but not rare that one observation can trigger a series of thoughts that lead to memories long past. This happened to me again two weeks ago. It’s course went bumpity, bumpity, bump ---from a recent TV show to an almost forgotten college class. Follow this journey- start with David Letterman go to 50 Cent then to George Carlin, which leads to Rogers and Hart that reminds me of Kern and Hammerstein then Cole Porter, when up pops poetry wherein it lands me smack to a conclusion of a Sociology term paper turned in close to 40 years ago. WHEW! Let me ‘splain:
I was watching “The Late Show with David Letterman” his musical guest was the hip-hop rapper 50 Cent who ‘sang’ something I later learned was named “Ayo Technology”. It’s opening line was something like “She want it” repeated over and over. The repetitive ad nauseam chorus rhymed “hypnotized” with “hips and thighs”. For me it went further downhill and became 50 scents, none of them pleasant. George Carlin then entered the process when I recalled him recently saying that he “lived through the Golden Age of radio, television, movies and American popular standard music”.
How had the musical taste shifted from the once popular ballads of those talented people who scored and penned words which almost sing themselves off the page?
Read and listen -“I took one look at you/That's all I meant to do/And then my heart stood still/My feet could step and walk/My lips could move and talk/And yet my heart stood still”
“My Heart Stood Still” Music by Richard Rodgers , lyrics by Lorenz Hart
Or: “You are the promised kiss of springtime/That makes the lonely winter seem long./You are the breathless hush of evening/That trembles on the brink of a lovely song./You are the angel glow that lights a star,/The dearest things I know are what you are.”"All the Things You Are" Music by Jerome Kern, lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein II.
Or: “Night and day, you are the one/Only you beneath the moon or under the sun/Whether near to me, or far/It's no matter darling where you are/I think of you/Day and night, night and day”
“Night and Day” by Cole Porter
The marriage of those words and music seem as poetic as any of those from Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman. Which in turn jolted my memory to a term paper I had submitted for the term project of a Sociology class in my Junior year. It was entitled “The Times and the Tunes”.
The major thrust of the paper was to follow the course of the then popular songs/music to see if they correlated to the historical events of the times. After much research at many libraries, using the old 3x5 index cards (no Google or Ask then), and after many footnotes, references, and bibliography the conclusion was “Yes, the tunes did mirror the times in which they were popular”. From the Psalms of David to ancient ditties in the earliest recorded periods unearthed right up to the time when my treatise was submitted for evaluation.
If this be the case then the ‘standard’ popular musical taste has morphed from a ‘love’ song into a ‘lust’ song much as the transformers of today. Is it any better, will it survive or is it just a fad?
Music is still evolving . From the classics (forever music) to the trendy (here for now) to the ‘one hit wonder’ (“oh yeah, I remember that“). During the last half dozen decades we have listened to the scat of Ella Fitzgerald and Mel Torme, the avant-garde of Miles Davis, Charlie Parker and Stan Kenton, and the innovation of Steven Sondheim, Leonard Bernstein, and Andrew Lloyd Webber. Elvis, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, and their ilk provided a new twist.
The entire musical gamut has the capacity to embrace myriad genres. I like most of them, but I can’t help hoping that the ‘songs’ with incomprehensible (at least to me) lewd lyrics that denigrates women, coupled with a lack of melody, grace, and civility fade fast. I know that this too is a reflection of a part of this timeline of existence, yet I cling to the concept of a happier, optimistic, and more innocent view. It may be true that this generation considers the current hip hop prattle to be modern love songs, if this is so my only comment is, “They’re writing songs of love, but not for me.”
“But Not For Me” Music by George Gershwin, lyrics by Ira Gershwin
There you have the encephalographic roller coaster, from David Letterman to King David to dissertation. But in the words of William Shakespeare, “There is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
PS the term paper got an A-
End 799 words
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2007/10/24/columnists/doc471e538f416d3311777963.txt
Thoughts of notes
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
It’s strange but not rare that one observation can trigger a series of thoughts that lead to memories long past. This happened to me again two weeks ago. It’s course went bumpity, bumpity, bump ---from a recent TV show to an almost forgotten college class. Follow this journey- start with David Letterman go to 50 Cent then to George Carlin, which leads to Rogers and Hart that reminds me of Kern and Hammerstein then Cole Porter, when up pops poetry wherein it lands me smack to a conclusion of a Sociology term paper turned in close to 40 years ago. WHEW! Let me ‘splain:
I was watching “The Late Show with David Letterman” his musical guest was the hip-hop rapper 50 Cent who ‘sang’ something I later learned was named “Ayo Technology”. It’s opening line was something like “She want it” repeated over and over. The repetitive ad nauseam chorus rhymed “hypnotized” with “hips and thighs”. For me it went further downhill and became 50 scents, none of them pleasant. George Carlin then entered the process when I recalled him recently saying that he “lived through the Golden Age of radio, television, movies and American popular standard music”.
How had the musical taste shifted from the once popular ballads of those talented people who scored and penned words which almost sing themselves off the page?
Read and listen -“I took one look at you/That's all I meant to do/And then my heart stood still/My feet could step and walk/My lips could move and talk/And yet my heart stood still”
“My Heart Stood Still” Music by Richard Rodgers , lyrics by Lorenz Hart
Or: “You are the promised kiss of springtime/That makes the lonely winter seem long./You are the breathless hush of evening/That trembles on the brink of a lovely song./You are the angel glow that lights a star,/The dearest things I know are what you are.”"All the Things You Are" Music by Jerome Kern, lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein II.
Or: “Night and day, you are the one/Only you beneath the moon or under the sun/Whether near to me, or far/It's no matter darling where you are/I think of you/Day and night, night and day”
“Night and Day” by Cole Porter
The marriage of those words and music seem as poetic as any of those from Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman. Which in turn jolted my memory to a term paper I had submitted for the term project of a Sociology class in my Junior year. It was entitled “The Times and the Tunes”.
The major thrust of the paper was to follow the course of the then popular songs/music to see if they correlated to the historical events of the times. After much research at many libraries, using the old 3x5 index cards (no Google or Ask then), and after many footnotes, references, and bibliography the conclusion was “Yes, the tunes did mirror the times in which they were popular”. From the Psalms of David to ancient ditties in the earliest recorded periods unearthed right up to the time when my treatise was submitted for evaluation.
If this be the case then the ‘standard’ popular musical taste has morphed from a ‘love’ song into a ‘lust’ song much as the transformers of today. Is it any better, will it survive or is it just a fad?
Music is still evolving . From the classics (forever music) to the trendy (here for now) to the ‘one hit wonder’ (“oh yeah, I remember that“). During the last half dozen decades we have listened to the scat of Ella Fitzgerald and Mel Torme, the avant-garde of Miles Davis, Charlie Parker and Stan Kenton, and the innovation of Steven Sondheim, Leonard Bernstein, and Andrew Lloyd Webber. Elvis, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, and their ilk provided a new twist.
The entire musical gamut has the capacity to embrace myriad genres. I like most of them, but I can’t help hoping that the ‘songs’ with incomprehensible (at least to me) lewd lyrics that denigrates women, coupled with a lack of melody, grace, and civility fade fast. I know that this too is a reflection of a part of this timeline of existence, yet I cling to the concept of a happier, optimistic, and more innocent view. It may be true that this generation considers the current hip hop prattle to be modern love songs, if this is so my only comment is, “They’re writing songs of love, but not for me.”
“But Not For Me” Music by George Gershwin, lyrics by Ira Gershwin
There you have the encephalographic roller coaster, from David Letterman to King David to dissertation. But in the words of William Shakespeare, “There is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
PS the term paper got an A-
End 799 words
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2007/10/24/columnists/doc471e538f416d3311777963.txt
10/10/07
The 3:10 to Seymour and the 7-11
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
As had been mentioned here in several past columns there are now more cameras recording street activity for surveillance along with those in commercial establishments and homes. We are also familiar with the digital cameras built into cell phones as well as ones as slim as pens or concealed in seemingly innocent items like clocks and vases checking on the nanny. It’s almost a daily occurrence to view crimes that were videotaped and shown on the nightly news for help in identifying the perpetrators.
I guess the first recorded misdeed was when the serpent enticed Eve with the apple or when the car insurance company maligned the caveman’s intelligence. Be that as it may, but we do have an early newspaper confirmed crime: It happened October 6, 1866. The first known train robbery occurred on an Ohio and Mississippi passenger train near Seymour, Indiana. Three members of the Reno gang (no relation to former U.S. Attorney General Janet, that we know of) boarded the choo-choo and made off with $10,000. The James boys (no relation to former Alabama Governor Fob, that we know of) perfected the scheme and put it into practice in 1873. There were no cameras to catch the action at that time but with the aforementioned technology there has been a spate in recent bizarre crimes that have been caught on tape committed by some folks whose IQ was less than the circumference of their wrist. For instance:
The guy in Colorado Springs was holding up the liquor store. After getting the cash he told the clerk to give him the bottle of scotch behind the counter. The clerk refused saying he was under age. Whereupon the genius proved that he was over 21 by showing his drivers license. He was caught soon afterward.
The wiggling movements gave him away. It was at the Las Vegas airport when he was caught smuggling lizards into the country. He should not have stuffed them into tube socks and put them in his underwear. Seems he is not the only endangered species.
In Stone Lake, Wisconsin this birdbrain in an SUV wearing camouflage clothes with a helmet and face mask, pulls into the drive-in window at the bank. He holds up a bag which he says contains a bomb and demands all the money. The teller says the money had been removed from the till but she offered candy and lollypops. He proved indecisive and drove away in frustration. “There, that will show them I'm no sucker”, he probably said as he sped off.
They thought they were stealing cell phones from the Babylon, NY warehouse but they turned out to be global positioning systems (GPS). The police activated the GPS systems remotely which led them to the home of one of three heisters. Which only proves that it’s still Location, Location, Location.
It was at the convenience store when he put the $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. The clerk opened the drawer then was ordered to hand over the cash or he would be shot. The clerk gave him the $15 that was there. The robber fled leaving the $20. Sometimes things just don't add up.
In England the burglar broke into a warehouse and loaded his truck with 18 pallets of copper and nickel. It weighed so much that the suspension collapsed and he was caught He was sentenced to two years which only goes to show you can't rock or roll when there’s too much heavy metal.
The next case on the docket was People vs. Steven L. Crook. The bailiff then shouted to the holding cell “Crook, come forward.” Five of the prisoners then entered. Moral: you can't tell a crook by his cover-alls.
Numbers Note: This marks the start of Tri-O’s 3rd year.
The 3:10 to Seymour and the 7-11
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
As had been mentioned here in several past columns there are now more cameras recording street activity for surveillance along with those in commercial establishments and homes. We are also familiar with the digital cameras built into cell phones as well as ones as slim as pens or concealed in seemingly innocent items like clocks and vases checking on the nanny. It’s almost a daily occurrence to view crimes that were videotaped and shown on the nightly news for help in identifying the perpetrators.
I guess the first recorded misdeed was when the serpent enticed Eve with the apple or when the car insurance company maligned the caveman’s intelligence. Be that as it may, but we do have an early newspaper confirmed crime: It happened October 6, 1866. The first known train robbery occurred on an Ohio and Mississippi passenger train near Seymour, Indiana. Three members of the Reno gang (no relation to former U.S. Attorney General Janet, that we know of) boarded the choo-choo and made off with $10,000. The James boys (no relation to former Alabama Governor Fob, that we know of) perfected the scheme and put it into practice in 1873. There were no cameras to catch the action at that time but with the aforementioned technology there has been a spate in recent bizarre crimes that have been caught on tape committed by some folks whose IQ was less than the circumference of their wrist. For instance:
The guy in Colorado Springs was holding up the liquor store. After getting the cash he told the clerk to give him the bottle of scotch behind the counter. The clerk refused saying he was under age. Whereupon the genius proved that he was over 21 by showing his drivers license. He was caught soon afterward.
The wiggling movements gave him away. It was at the Las Vegas airport when he was caught smuggling lizards into the country. He should not have stuffed them into tube socks and put them in his underwear. Seems he is not the only endangered species.
In Stone Lake, Wisconsin this birdbrain in an SUV wearing camouflage clothes with a helmet and face mask, pulls into the drive-in window at the bank. He holds up a bag which he says contains a bomb and demands all the money. The teller says the money had been removed from the till but she offered candy and lollypops. He proved indecisive and drove away in frustration. “There, that will show them I'm no sucker”, he probably said as he sped off.
They thought they were stealing cell phones from the Babylon, NY warehouse but they turned out to be global positioning systems (GPS). The police activated the GPS systems remotely which led them to the home of one of three heisters. Which only proves that it’s still Location, Location, Location.
It was at the convenience store when he put the $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. The clerk opened the drawer then was ordered to hand over the cash or he would be shot. The clerk gave him the $15 that was there. The robber fled leaving the $20. Sometimes things just don't add up.
In England the burglar broke into a warehouse and loaded his truck with 18 pallets of copper and nickel. It weighed so much that the suspension collapsed and he was caught He was sentenced to two years which only goes to show you can't rock or roll when there’s too much heavy metal.
The next case on the docket was People vs. Steven L. Crook. The bailiff then shouted to the holding cell “Crook, come forward.” Five of the prisoners then entered. Moral: you can't tell a crook by his cover-alls.
Numbers Note: This marks the start of Tri-O’s 3rd year.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
9/26/07
Was there, did that, not now
Was there, did that, not now
Tri-O's
Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
His father was a Mennonite and his mother a Jehovah’s Witness. From these peaceful religions there emerged the commanding general of the Allied forces in Europe during World War II and the 34th President of the U.S..
He was born in Texas October 14, 1890, the third of seven sons. When he applied to the Naval Academy he was refused as he exceeded the age for admission. Instead he went to the Military Academy at West Point graduating in 1915 in the top half of his class. As a second lieutenant, he met Mamie Doud, whom he married in 1916.
He eventually served under General John J. Pershing, then to the Army War College, and next as executive officer to the Assistant Secretary of War. Later he was chief military aide to General Douglas MacArthur, Army Chief of Staff. During these assignments he gained the experience in the handling diplomatically, and sometimes forcefully, the giant egos of those times, I.e., Winston Churchill, George S. Patton, General Charles de Gaulle and Field Marshall Bernard Montgomery.
Although Dwight D. Eisenhower never held an active command his administrative and leadership abilities were his major assets. It was after he was appointed Assistant under Chief of Staff General George C. Marshall that these talents came to light leading to senior command positions. His major task was to create the plans to defeat the Axis countries of Japan and Germany. In 1943 he became Supreme Allied Commander in Europe. After the German surrender in 1945 he was appointed Military Governor of the U.S. Occupational Zone. In 1950 he was Supreme Commander of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) and retired from active service in 1952. Concurrently he served as President of Columbia University (1948-1953), taking leave from the academic duties while he was NATO commander.
The “I Like Ike” campaign brought him to the White House as the only career military man in the past century. His promise to go to Korea, if elected, was kept. Five months after taking office the war there was ended. Historian Stephen Ambrose, in an essay, said by achieving this Eisenhower accomplished “avoiding war thereafter, and by holding down the cost of the arms race, he achieved greatness. No one knows how much money he saved the United States, no one knows how many lives he saved, by ending the war in Korea and refusing to enter any others, despite a half-dozen and more virtually unanimous recommendations that he order a first strike.”
Ike had provocations and confrontations all the years he held office: Korea, Vietnam, Formosa, Suez, Hungary, Berlin, when our U-2 spy plane was shot down over Russia, and the Cold War. Many surrounding him advised dropping the Bomb yet he defused all the situations with a calm, firm hand avoiding conflict without loss of “face”. He knew what war was, as did his other eleven predecessors of the Presidency who were former Generals in the US Army. All opted to go to war only as a last resort, as if saying “been there, done that; not now”.
On the home front he sponsored and signed the Civil Rights Bill of 1957, the first such bill since Reconstruction. He also sent U.S. Troops to enforce it at the Little Rock school integration although he later said he feared it leading to conflict. The Federal Aid Highway Act of 1956 gave us the interstate arteries we now travel and was to become the largest peacetime program. The NASA agency came into being in 1958 and in his second term two more stars were added to the flag, Alaska and Hawaii.
He refused to cut taxes and raise defense spending which balanced the Budget three times and led to the 1950’s affluence. These were the times that the “Happy Days” TV show nostalgically depicted in the 70’s.
For a warrior leading the greatest military force in history, in his Farewell Address to the Nation in 1961 he cautioned, “A vital element in keeping the peace is our military establishment. Our arms must be mighty, ready for instant action, so that no potential aggressor may be tempted to risk his own destruction.” He went on , “In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist.”
After turning the presidency over to John F. Kennedy (the youngest ever elected, 43, took the reigns from the 71 year-old President, the oldest ever elected, up to that time) Eisenhower retired to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.
Despite all the above he was deemed a “do nothing” president after leaving office. A new book by Michael Korda, “Ike: An American Hero” dispels that judgment.
End
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2007/09/26/columnists/doc46f96c42b9fc0212728077.txt
Friday, September 14, 2007
9/12/07
The list of ‘Not To Do’
TRI-O'S
Oddities,observations & opinions
By Herb Kandel
In days past we used to have a “To Do” or a “Honey Do” list as a reminder to do something: homework assignments, thank you notes to write, things to pick up at the super market, items to pack for your vacation, prescriptions at the pharmacy, dogs to reclaim from the groomer, etc. Nowadays it seems that a “Not To Do” list may be more appropriate for our own well being in this time of easy litigation, excessive caloric intake, wariness of people speaking a different language and color-coded terror alert levels. Here are some “Not To Do’s,” which may apply to some of us:
• Do not try to organize your closet as the clothes you wore last year have probably been visited by the Shrink Fairy. Regard them as keepsakes.
• Do not look for hairs on your head that are a darker shade of gray and hope they will propagate. Remember that Richard Gere, Phil Donahue, Anderson Cooper, Jay Leno and even Taylor Hicks have turned their silver into gold.
• Do not listen to your iPod in the men’s restroom and tap your foot to the music. That action may be misinterpreted as a “potty” invitation, and you don’t want an RSVP.
• Do not make a big scene at the restaurant when the server gives you a glass of water bearing a lipstick tracing. Just ask if comes with a K2r Spot Lifter (but don’t accept the apology when offered: “We won’t charge you for the drink.”)
• Do not agree when told “This will only take a minute” by a phone solicitor. Just tell them to “hold‚” and walk away for about 5 minutes.
• Do not ask “What’s up?,” to a person exiting a fertility clinic. Discretion is the better choice between the answer and a black eye.
• Do not call 911 if your dog hasn’t pooped in 3 days. Just check under your beds and quickly make an appointment with a EENT doctor.
• Do not put socks in the washing machine without first pinning the toes together. Which begs the questions: Why is it we never find the mate to the one remaining sock, and why does one seem to have more “socks” appeal than the other?
• Do not use as an excuse when stopped by a police officer: “But the designated driver never showed up.”
• Do not blame climate warming as the cause of hot flashes.
• Do not ask to see the green card of the person demonstrating hunting equipment.
• Do not ask presidential candidate Fred Thompson “Why did you shave your moustache, Dr. Phil?”
• Do not audition for American Idol unless you have a bad hair day, wear torn jeans, have little or mediocre talent and the chutzpah to say, with the utmost sincerity “I am the next American Idol.”
• Do not invite Martha Stewart, Rachel Ray, Emeril Lagasse and Bobby Flay to a “Pig-in-a-Blanket” cookout.
• Do not attempt to give your teen-ager driving lessons without first taking a Valium.• Do not volunteer for the office of Supreme Court Justice, when a seat becomes vacant, unless you like wearing a basic black outfit for nine months and really need job security.
• Do not wear a baseball cap backward or sideways if you are over 30. It immediately deducts 10 points from your IQ.
• Do not kiss a frog expecting it to turn into a handsome prince or princess no matter how “ribbiting” their plea. They are notorious liars.
• Do not fall for it a second time when asked by the nurse to disrobe when getting a flu shot.
• And by all means do not store Preparation H near the Krazy Glue in the medicine cabinet. OUCH!
If you have some favorite “Do nots,” let me know.
Note: To all those who inquired: The seventh Wonder grandchild entered the world Sept. 4. William weighed in at 7 pounds and 20 inches long.
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2007/09/14/columnists/doc46ea8e0963823145743180.txt
The list of ‘Not To Do’
TRI-O'S
Oddities,observations & opinions
By Herb Kandel
In days past we used to have a “To Do” or a “Honey Do” list as a reminder to do something: homework assignments, thank you notes to write, things to pick up at the super market, items to pack for your vacation, prescriptions at the pharmacy, dogs to reclaim from the groomer, etc. Nowadays it seems that a “Not To Do” list may be more appropriate for our own well being in this time of easy litigation, excessive caloric intake, wariness of people speaking a different language and color-coded terror alert levels. Here are some “Not To Do’s,” which may apply to some of us:
• Do not try to organize your closet as the clothes you wore last year have probably been visited by the Shrink Fairy. Regard them as keepsakes.
• Do not look for hairs on your head that are a darker shade of gray and hope they will propagate. Remember that Richard Gere, Phil Donahue, Anderson Cooper, Jay Leno and even Taylor Hicks have turned their silver into gold.
• Do not listen to your iPod in the men’s restroom and tap your foot to the music. That action may be misinterpreted as a “potty” invitation, and you don’t want an RSVP.
• Do not make a big scene at the restaurant when the server gives you a glass of water bearing a lipstick tracing. Just ask if comes with a K2r Spot Lifter (but don’t accept the apology when offered: “We won’t charge you for the drink.”)
• Do not agree when told “This will only take a minute” by a phone solicitor. Just tell them to “hold‚” and walk away for about 5 minutes.
• Do not ask “What’s up?,” to a person exiting a fertility clinic. Discretion is the better choice between the answer and a black eye.
• Do not call 911 if your dog hasn’t pooped in 3 days. Just check under your beds and quickly make an appointment with a EENT doctor.
• Do not put socks in the washing machine without first pinning the toes together. Which begs the questions: Why is it we never find the mate to the one remaining sock, and why does one seem to have more “socks” appeal than the other?
• Do not use as an excuse when stopped by a police officer: “But the designated driver never showed up.”
• Do not blame climate warming as the cause of hot flashes.
• Do not ask to see the green card of the person demonstrating hunting equipment.
• Do not ask presidential candidate Fred Thompson “Why did you shave your moustache, Dr. Phil?”
• Do not audition for American Idol unless you have a bad hair day, wear torn jeans, have little or mediocre talent and the chutzpah to say, with the utmost sincerity “I am the next American Idol.”
• Do not invite Martha Stewart, Rachel Ray, Emeril Lagasse and Bobby Flay to a “Pig-in-a-Blanket” cookout.
• Do not attempt to give your teen-ager driving lessons without first taking a Valium.• Do not volunteer for the office of Supreme Court Justice, when a seat becomes vacant, unless you like wearing a basic black outfit for nine months and really need job security.
• Do not wear a baseball cap backward or sideways if you are over 30. It immediately deducts 10 points from your IQ.
• Do not kiss a frog expecting it to turn into a handsome prince or princess no matter how “ribbiting” their plea. They are notorious liars.
• Do not fall for it a second time when asked by the nurse to disrobe when getting a flu shot.
• And by all means do not store Preparation H near the Krazy Glue in the medicine cabinet. OUCH!
If you have some favorite “Do nots,” let me know.
Note: To all those who inquired: The seventh Wonder grandchild entered the world Sept. 4. William weighed in at 7 pounds and 20 inches long.
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2007/09/14/columnists/doc46ea8e0963823145743180.txt
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
8/29/07
The Four Horsemen of the Metropolis
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
You’ve seen them on TV. They are in an office setting with shelf loads of big books on the back wall. They are either seated behind their neat desk or semi-sitting on the edge. There they are wearing impeccably tailored suits, with color coordinated shirts and ties. Looking directly into the camera, no blinking, they tell you, with the sincerity of your most trusted lifelong friend, that you may be entitled to a cash award if you, or your loved ones, have ever experienced bad side effects from a prescribed medication or a surgical procedure. The same contingency offer is made for car accidents, DUI’s, workmen’s compensation, and social security benefits. All you have to do, if you meet the requirement and want to participate in the suit or litigation, is to, “Call the office of Getcha, Gotcha, Gone, and Goniff” (no real names used).
Sure, there are legitimate claims to right wrongdoing and they will wend their way through the judicial systems slow grinding process. But let’s consider some suits of the future that may be brought if the trend continues. You’re sitting in the chair at your regular barber shop. “Ouch!” He nips an ear lobe while trimming a sideburn. What male member of a jury has not experienced a slip of the scissor? Verdict for plaintiff.
That rolled up Sunday edition is lobbed through the air aimed at your driveway. It lands with a thud but trouble is that it also lands with a “YIPE” from tiny Fido who was lifting a leg on a bush when the paper missile concluded its gravitational pull. Who now is responsible for the vet bills and the subsequent rehab? Who fills the void where stud fees once were? Call GGG&G.
The plastic bag you’re lugging to your car from the supermarket is weighted down with a gallon of milk and yogurt with acidophilus culture when suddenly the side splits and the contents plop on your toes bruising a phalange and a metatarsal. Do you go after the check out cashier who did the bagging, the store, or the bag manufacturer? To find out if you do have a leg to stand on, who do you call?
The golf game is going well when the next drive goes into a trap. The nine iron digs deeper into those grains than you really wanted and kicks up a sheeting of sand. Your game partner, who is standing nearby contemplating his next shot, gets an eyeful of the airborne granules. Now the true test of friendship is measured. Does he or does he not seek the G4 for retribution? And just as important…….do you guys play the next hole?
Your wife invites friends over for a home cooked dinner which, as everyone knows, she rarely does as ovens in this house are considered an extension of the pantry with canned goods and snack boxes loaded on the racks. The steaks she let defrost in the sunlight on the kitchen counter stayed a tad too long and invisible bacteria went into population overload. All who partook of the meal came down with the same symptoms several hours later. No fun was had but the now ex-friends are contemplating a suit for the pain and suffering while the hosts are visiting GGG&G drawing up a hold harmless disclaimer for future guests.
You are typing the thirty page company report on the computer when it freezes and the dreaded blue screen of death takes its place, If you had not been saving your work as you were going along then it has all gone to that big cyberspace in the sky, “POOF”. You have to retype and recapture your thoughts. What frustration! Now extra time must be spent in finger jabbing keystrokes. Someone has to be responsible for this built-in system failure. Should it be Bill Gates? Microsoft? In the words of the immortal Rhett Butler, “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” Some times it’s good to have the firm of Getcha, Gotcha, Gone, and Goniff fighting for you. Who knew?
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2007/08/29/columnists/doc46d4918b564ce395739873.txt
The Four Horsemen of the Metropolis
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
You’ve seen them on TV. They are in an office setting with shelf loads of big books on the back wall. They are either seated behind their neat desk or semi-sitting on the edge. There they are wearing impeccably tailored suits, with color coordinated shirts and ties. Looking directly into the camera, no blinking, they tell you, with the sincerity of your most trusted lifelong friend, that you may be entitled to a cash award if you, or your loved ones, have ever experienced bad side effects from a prescribed medication or a surgical procedure. The same contingency offer is made for car accidents, DUI’s, workmen’s compensation, and social security benefits. All you have to do, if you meet the requirement and want to participate in the suit or litigation, is to, “Call the office of Getcha, Gotcha, Gone, and Goniff” (no real names used).
Sure, there are legitimate claims to right wrongdoing and they will wend their way through the judicial systems slow grinding process. But let’s consider some suits of the future that may be brought if the trend continues. You’re sitting in the chair at your regular barber shop. “Ouch!” He nips an ear lobe while trimming a sideburn. What male member of a jury has not experienced a slip of the scissor? Verdict for plaintiff.
That rolled up Sunday edition is lobbed through the air aimed at your driveway. It lands with a thud but trouble is that it also lands with a “YIPE” from tiny Fido who was lifting a leg on a bush when the paper missile concluded its gravitational pull. Who now is responsible for the vet bills and the subsequent rehab? Who fills the void where stud fees once were? Call GGG&G.
The plastic bag you’re lugging to your car from the supermarket is weighted down with a gallon of milk and yogurt with acidophilus culture when suddenly the side splits and the contents plop on your toes bruising a phalange and a metatarsal. Do you go after the check out cashier who did the bagging, the store, or the bag manufacturer? To find out if you do have a leg to stand on, who do you call?
The golf game is going well when the next drive goes into a trap. The nine iron digs deeper into those grains than you really wanted and kicks up a sheeting of sand. Your game partner, who is standing nearby contemplating his next shot, gets an eyeful of the airborne granules. Now the true test of friendship is measured. Does he or does he not seek the G4 for retribution? And just as important…….do you guys play the next hole?
Your wife invites friends over for a home cooked dinner which, as everyone knows, she rarely does as ovens in this house are considered an extension of the pantry with canned goods and snack boxes loaded on the racks. The steaks she let defrost in the sunlight on the kitchen counter stayed a tad too long and invisible bacteria went into population overload. All who partook of the meal came down with the same symptoms several hours later. No fun was had but the now ex-friends are contemplating a suit for the pain and suffering while the hosts are visiting GGG&G drawing up a hold harmless disclaimer for future guests.
You are typing the thirty page company report on the computer when it freezes and the dreaded blue screen of death takes its place, If you had not been saving your work as you were going along then it has all gone to that big cyberspace in the sky, “POOF”. You have to retype and recapture your thoughts. What frustration! Now extra time must be spent in finger jabbing keystrokes. Someone has to be responsible for this built-in system failure. Should it be Bill Gates? Microsoft? In the words of the immortal Rhett Butler, “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” Some times it’s good to have the firm of Getcha, Gotcha, Gone, and Goniff fighting for you. Who knew?
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2007/08/29/columnists/doc46d4918b564ce395739873.txt
Monday, August 20, 2007
8/18/07
Ding dong - school’s in session
Trio-O's: Oddities, observations & opinionsBy Herb Kandel
That’s the bell that sounds the start of another school year. It seems to sneak in earlier each time, like ageing. When those of us born in a much earlier decade answered that toll, it was after Labor Day and not at the near height of summer. The season of sun and fun had a point of demarcation, and the serious work of learning was started. Occasionally we experienced an Indian Summer where the weather was unusually warm or sunny in autumn, but it seems almost a sin against nature to be closeted in a classroom when radiant August bathes the outdoors, and new high temperature records are being set.
The back-to-school ads are in circulation as soon as the last firecracker is heard on the Fourth of July. Retailers and manufacturers rush the season and are as close on the heels of the time lapse as when Christmas ads appear on Halloween. Not only for school supplies and books for the “writ’n and read’n” but for the now “necessary” gadgets such as cell phones with GPS options
No, I’m not going to tell you about our eight mile walks to school in blizzards, going uphill in both directions. But things were a lot simpler then.
Our requirements were usually a composition book, yes, the one with the black and white marbled squiggles on the cover, a pencil box with a No. 2 pencil, pen (the kind with a replaceable nib that you dipped in the ink well on your school desk), a pink eraser, a 6-inch ruler that was marked only in inches and a manual pencil sharpener (that small rectangular block with a blade attached, which shaved the point when twirled). Boys usually carried books in cupped hands at their side or over their shoulder bound with an old belt. Girls almost always held them cradled in front with hands grasping forearms. The obligatory backpack of today, sold to preschoolers on up, wasn’t seen.
Some of the new supply lists include glue sticks, highlighters, dry markers, dry erasers, Post-it notes, folders, index cards, crayons, Zip lock baggies, hand sanitizers, boxes of tissue, paper towels and baby wipes. Not included but seen as necessities are the designer clothes, expensive athletic shoes, and cell/camera phones in the red new hue. I know that many schools have uniform dress codes and ban cell phones and pagers, but that does not stop the advertisements for them or their surreptitious use.
You’ve heard of identity theft and how to protect yourself from it. Do you know there is a company that personalizes school supplies to prevent their theft, loss, or being switched. Now Johnny can tell Heather that the pen she is using is really his and prove it. Identitydirect.Com boasts over 500 products that can be personalized from pencils, lunch bags, toiletry bags, beanbags, headbands, memo pads, clipboards and, of course, the backpack — comes in pink, too. We certainly are introducing the hazards of adulthood at an early age.
Not having been in school for many years, I wonder if the odors are still there. You could have been blindfolded in my public high school and still know in which room you were. Who can forget the pungent scents of the cafeteria with brown gravy filling the scooped cavity made in the mashed potatoes and forming rivulets around the meatloaf, the fresh smell of shaved wood from the wood-turning lathes in the mandatory shop class (for the boys; girls attended home-making), the eye-burning, chlorine-infused air of the swimming pool, the white crumby paste and mucilage aroma in the library, the metallic coppery reeking air of the band room, or the malodorous cloud that hung over the gym locker room — where were Odor-Eaters when you needed them.
Outside, making sure the wind was at their backs, eraser monitors clapped the felt erasers, and puffs of chalk dust mushroomed forth. I’m not sure, but in these times the EPA or Hazmat may have a voice in regulating wafting whiffs.
So, off you go boys and girls, to an adventurous time in your life. Some day, in the future, you may cherish your “good old days” of those antique ipods, hip-hop, Bluetooth, Sponge Bob, texting, blogging, Harry Potter and break dancing. We celebrate your growing along with your new experiences and hope that your backpack is not overloaded.
Ding dong - school’s in session
Trio-O's: Oddities, observations & opinionsBy Herb Kandel
That’s the bell that sounds the start of another school year. It seems to sneak in earlier each time, like ageing. When those of us born in a much earlier decade answered that toll, it was after Labor Day and not at the near height of summer. The season of sun and fun had a point of demarcation, and the serious work of learning was started. Occasionally we experienced an Indian Summer where the weather was unusually warm or sunny in autumn, but it seems almost a sin against nature to be closeted in a classroom when radiant August bathes the outdoors, and new high temperature records are being set.
The back-to-school ads are in circulation as soon as the last firecracker is heard on the Fourth of July. Retailers and manufacturers rush the season and are as close on the heels of the time lapse as when Christmas ads appear on Halloween. Not only for school supplies and books for the “writ’n and read’n” but for the now “necessary” gadgets such as cell phones with GPS options
No, I’m not going to tell you about our eight mile walks to school in blizzards, going uphill in both directions. But things were a lot simpler then.
Our requirements were usually a composition book, yes, the one with the black and white marbled squiggles on the cover, a pencil box with a No. 2 pencil, pen (the kind with a replaceable nib that you dipped in the ink well on your school desk), a pink eraser, a 6-inch ruler that was marked only in inches and a manual pencil sharpener (that small rectangular block with a blade attached, which shaved the point when twirled). Boys usually carried books in cupped hands at their side or over their shoulder bound with an old belt. Girls almost always held them cradled in front with hands grasping forearms. The obligatory backpack of today, sold to preschoolers on up, wasn’t seen.
Some of the new supply lists include glue sticks, highlighters, dry markers, dry erasers, Post-it notes, folders, index cards, crayons, Zip lock baggies, hand sanitizers, boxes of tissue, paper towels and baby wipes. Not included but seen as necessities are the designer clothes, expensive athletic shoes, and cell/camera phones in the red new hue. I know that many schools have uniform dress codes and ban cell phones and pagers, but that does not stop the advertisements for them or their surreptitious use.
You’ve heard of identity theft and how to protect yourself from it. Do you know there is a company that personalizes school supplies to prevent their theft, loss, or being switched. Now Johnny can tell Heather that the pen she is using is really his and prove it. Identitydirect.Com boasts over 500 products that can be personalized from pencils, lunch bags, toiletry bags, beanbags, headbands, memo pads, clipboards and, of course, the backpack — comes in pink, too. We certainly are introducing the hazards of adulthood at an early age.
Not having been in school for many years, I wonder if the odors are still there. You could have been blindfolded in my public high school and still know in which room you were. Who can forget the pungent scents of the cafeteria with brown gravy filling the scooped cavity made in the mashed potatoes and forming rivulets around the meatloaf, the fresh smell of shaved wood from the wood-turning lathes in the mandatory shop class (for the boys; girls attended home-making), the eye-burning, chlorine-infused air of the swimming pool, the white crumby paste and mucilage aroma in the library, the metallic coppery reeking air of the band room, or the malodorous cloud that hung over the gym locker room — where were Odor-Eaters when you needed them.
Outside, making sure the wind was at their backs, eraser monitors clapped the felt erasers, and puffs of chalk dust mushroomed forth. I’m not sure, but in these times the EPA or Hazmat may have a voice in regulating wafting whiffs.
So, off you go boys and girls, to an adventurous time in your life. Some day, in the future, you may cherish your “good old days” of those antique ipods, hip-hop, Bluetooth, Sponge Bob, texting, blogging, Harry Potter and break dancing. We celebrate your growing along with your new experiences and hope that your backpack is not overloaded.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
8/1/07
My seven Wonders, plus one
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
Will wonders never cease? The report tallied last month said that over 100 million votes were cast from over 200 countries to find the new Seven Wonders of the world. The winners are: Chichén Itzá, Mexico - Christ the Redeemer, Brazil - The Great Wall, China - Machu Picchu, Peru - Petra, Jordan -The Roman Colosseum, Italy - The Taj Mahal, India. Nobody asked me but here is my list of Wonder contenders and, lastly, my choices.
Wonder Woman: She is the crime fighting super heroine possessing beauty, strength, and intelligence. She of the star spangled hot shorts, golden bustier that pre-dated Madonna’s, bracelets that deflected bullets, a golden unbreakable lasso which compelled anyone encircled in it to tell the truth, and a boomerang tiara. And when Lynda Carter portrayed her on TV she could do no wrong.
Stevie Wonder: He started recording at age 11 and continues to this day. His album sales are over 100 million, has won 22 Grammy Awards, an Academy Award for Best Song, was inducted into the Rock and Roll and Songwriters halls of fame, he also plays a host of percussion and string instruments as well as the synthesizer and keyboard. Check this small sample of his work and see if you can resist humming: “My Cherie Amour”, “You Are the Sunshine of my Life”, “ For Once in my Life”, “I Just Called to Say I Love You”, "Yester-Me, Yester-You, Yesterday", "Isn't She Lovely".
Wonder Bread: Yes, the soft white bread with the colorful red, yellow, and blue balloons on the wrapper. Sure, the name is sometimes used as a pejorative term for having little pizzazz and nutrition but it has been baked for over 80 years and now comes in five varieties including three advertised with “whole grain”. They were among the first who introduced sliced bread in the 1930s and because of its squishiness is sometimes used as a remedy because it forms a soft lump around inedible objects that are swallowed by a child or dog allowing it to pass safely. That by itself is a wonder.
The Wonder Years: This delightful TV show ran for six seasons (1988 - 1993). It depicted the years 1968-1973 “each season took place exactly twenty years before the then current year”. Fred Savage played Kevin Arnold . We follow him through his teen years on his journey to adulthood. During this passage we relive the events of that time from his perspective. Many topics were explored including social issues, family dynamics, first kiss, first zit, family finances, and the fragility of friendship. The narrator is a mature, wiser Kevin who views the experiences not only with nostalgia but also the conviction of learning another life lesson.
It’s a Wonderful Life: The movie directed by Frank Capra was a flop when it was released in 1946. When its copyright protection ended on 1974 and fell into the public domain it got repeated airings at Christmas-time as it was free to the TV stations until 1993. Now only “NBC is currently licensed to show the film on U.S. Network television,” according to Wikipedia. It tells the story, in flashbacks, of the effect of one person touching the lives of those around him, both family and community. Despite all seeming obstacles and dilemmas he still has a wonderful life. All that was needed was the realization of the difference he made in those lives.
What a Wonderful World: This song was written for Louis Armstrong in 1967. Has there ever been more optimistic words and music expressing the joy of life? It was further enhanced by the linkage of that raspy voice which wrapped each image with delight. Armstrong took only $250 scale for his recording, for the song was intended to soothe the high emotions caused by the racial and political riots of that year.
And lastly - my Wonder winners: grandchildren James, Sydney, Jordan, Tori, Madeline, Courtney, and awaiting the seventh Wonder, a boy due sometime in September. Plus one, my BH (Better Half).
So in answer to the question asked initially: I hope not.
END
682 words
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2007/08/02/columnists/doc46af8f06a9034014185318
My seven Wonders, plus one
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
Will wonders never cease? The report tallied last month said that over 100 million votes were cast from over 200 countries to find the new Seven Wonders of the world. The winners are: Chichén Itzá, Mexico - Christ the Redeemer, Brazil - The Great Wall, China - Machu Picchu, Peru - Petra, Jordan -The Roman Colosseum, Italy - The Taj Mahal, India. Nobody asked me but here is my list of Wonder contenders and, lastly, my choices.
Wonder Woman: She is the crime fighting super heroine possessing beauty, strength, and intelligence. She of the star spangled hot shorts, golden bustier that pre-dated Madonna’s, bracelets that deflected bullets, a golden unbreakable lasso which compelled anyone encircled in it to tell the truth, and a boomerang tiara. And when Lynda Carter portrayed her on TV she could do no wrong.
Stevie Wonder: He started recording at age 11 and continues to this day. His album sales are over 100 million, has won 22 Grammy Awards, an Academy Award for Best Song, was inducted into the Rock and Roll and Songwriters halls of fame, he also plays a host of percussion and string instruments as well as the synthesizer and keyboard. Check this small sample of his work and see if you can resist humming: “My Cherie Amour”, “You Are the Sunshine of my Life”, “ For Once in my Life”, “I Just Called to Say I Love You”, "Yester-Me, Yester-You, Yesterday", "Isn't She Lovely".
Wonder Bread: Yes, the soft white bread with the colorful red, yellow, and blue balloons on the wrapper. Sure, the name is sometimes used as a pejorative term for having little pizzazz and nutrition but it has been baked for over 80 years and now comes in five varieties including three advertised with “whole grain”. They were among the first who introduced sliced bread in the 1930s and because of its squishiness is sometimes used as a remedy because it forms a soft lump around inedible objects that are swallowed by a child or dog allowing it to pass safely. That by itself is a wonder.
The Wonder Years: This delightful TV show ran for six seasons (1988 - 1993). It depicted the years 1968-1973 “each season took place exactly twenty years before the then current year”. Fred Savage played Kevin Arnold . We follow him through his teen years on his journey to adulthood. During this passage we relive the events of that time from his perspective. Many topics were explored including social issues, family dynamics, first kiss, first zit, family finances, and the fragility of friendship. The narrator is a mature, wiser Kevin who views the experiences not only with nostalgia but also the conviction of learning another life lesson.
It’s a Wonderful Life: The movie directed by Frank Capra was a flop when it was released in 1946. When its copyright protection ended on 1974 and fell into the public domain it got repeated airings at Christmas-time as it was free to the TV stations until 1993. Now only “NBC is currently licensed to show the film on U.S. Network television,” according to Wikipedia. It tells the story, in flashbacks, of the effect of one person touching the lives of those around him, both family and community. Despite all seeming obstacles and dilemmas he still has a wonderful life. All that was needed was the realization of the difference he made in those lives.
What a Wonderful World: This song was written for Louis Armstrong in 1967. Has there ever been more optimistic words and music expressing the joy of life? It was further enhanced by the linkage of that raspy voice which wrapped each image with delight. Armstrong took only $250 scale for his recording, for the song was intended to soothe the high emotions caused by the racial and political riots of that year.
And lastly - my Wonder winners: grandchildren James, Sydney, Jordan, Tori, Madeline, Courtney, and awaiting the seventh Wonder, a boy due sometime in September. Plus one, my BH (Better Half).
So in answer to the question asked initially: I hope not.
END
682 words
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2007/08/02/columnists/doc46af8f06a9034014185318
Monday, July 30, 2007
7/18/07
Elvis is still in the bank
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
How would you like to earn income not only during your working life but also from the beyond? Yes, even after the bed, bath, and last rites. Well, not exactly for you, as you won’t be around to spend it, but for your estate or the loved ones left after you enter the hereafter. Simple. Your best bet is to just become a rock star, song writer, artist or entertainer. Follow me on this.
Next month will be the 30th anniversary of death of Elvis Presley, He strummed his last note at the age of 42 yet his estate last year, according to Forbes.com, made a million dollars for each year he lived. Right, $42 M. And get this, Elvis was second, behind Kurt Cobain who gyrated in at $50M (what Nirvana!). Of the top 13 named, five other high unearthly earners were in the musical category ( John Lennon $24 M, Ray Charles $10 M, Johnny Cash $8 M, George Harrison $7 M, and Bob Marley $7). The Arts/Entertainment drew three (Charles M. Schulz $35 M [don’t call that Peanuts], Andy Warhol $19 M, and Marilyn Monroe $8 M). There were two authors ( Theodor Geisel [ Dr. Seuss- only fat green cat in the hat] $10 M, and J.R.R. Tolkien $7M) and a lonely scientist (Albert Einstein $ 20 M). So earning from the other side is more readily accomplished artistically, but don’t tell that to Bill Gates.
There are several candidates from the recently departed that may have a shot to be on the list next year. Here are a few that may make it:
Johnny Carson was king of the late night talk shows for 30 years when he called it quits in 1992. After his death from emphysema in 2005 ( I can still see that ash tray that sat on his studio desk) his estate owned over 4000 hours of video footage (The Tonight Show broadcasts which aired from 1962 to 1972 were erased to save on storage costs……some heads rolled for that, I’m sure). On a recent entertainment news segment they showed the vault where the collection is kept; it is housed 54 stories below ground in a climate controlled salt mine near Kansas City, Kansas. You can occasionally see some of the highlights on a 30 minute infomercial and smile as Johnny chuckles or swings his air golf club.
Dale Earnhardt Sr. drove his last lap in 2001 which ended in the crash at the Daytona 500. Yet less than two years later his estates took in $20 M through licensing and royalty fees. General Motors Chevrolet Division honored him by naming a limited edition of a pickup truck the 2006 Silverado Intimidator SS (“The Intimidator” was Earnhardt’s nickname). With all the merchandise, collectables, souvenirs, superstore, and increased NASCAR visibility Dale’s estate can get that checkered flag again.
“‘Ol Blue Eyes“, “The Chairman of the Board“, that was Frank Sinatra whose career spanned 60 years of radio, television, movies, cabarets (“saloon singer” as he referred to himself), and records. He has been missing from the list of late but has usually been up there and will be again. I have high hopes he’ll be no stranger to those rites.
There are other notable musical names who continue to materially affect the lives of the living from the grave. Consider Gangsta rapper Tupac Shakur who died in 1996 and whose estate made $12 M in 2003 and $5 M the next year. Then there are Rogers and Hammerstein, Lerner and Lowe, Ira and George Gershwin, along with Cole Porter, Irving Berlin, Jimi Hendrix, and Jerry Garcia who have been on the list consistently. What music this must bring to their heirs.
Lastly, did you know that the deceased artists have agents? You’ve seen John Wayne, Audrey Hepburn, James Dean, Fred Astaire, and Charlie Chaplin on TV commercials hawking a host of products. A company out of Indianapolis had a corner on that market until recently when a division owned by Microsoft purchased a competing agency and added icons such as Warhol and Liberace. There will be a lot more seen from beyond the crypt and who said that there’s no life after death? Well it may be so if you don’t have a song in your heart. Gee, I wish my dad sang better!
By the way, it makes you wonder if there is an IRS agency on the other side of the grass? Now, that would be a humm-dinger!
End
Elvis is still in the bank
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
How would you like to earn income not only during your working life but also from the beyond? Yes, even after the bed, bath, and last rites. Well, not exactly for you, as you won’t be around to spend it, but for your estate or the loved ones left after you enter the hereafter. Simple. Your best bet is to just become a rock star, song writer, artist or entertainer. Follow me on this.
Next month will be the 30th anniversary of death of Elvis Presley, He strummed his last note at the age of 42 yet his estate last year, according to Forbes.com, made a million dollars for each year he lived. Right, $42 M. And get this, Elvis was second, behind Kurt Cobain who gyrated in at $50M (what Nirvana!). Of the top 13 named, five other high unearthly earners were in the musical category ( John Lennon $24 M, Ray Charles $10 M, Johnny Cash $8 M, George Harrison $7 M, and Bob Marley $7). The Arts/Entertainment drew three (Charles M. Schulz $35 M [don’t call that Peanuts], Andy Warhol $19 M, and Marilyn Monroe $8 M). There were two authors ( Theodor Geisel [ Dr. Seuss- only fat green cat in the hat] $10 M, and J.R.R. Tolkien $7M) and a lonely scientist (Albert Einstein $ 20 M). So earning from the other side is more readily accomplished artistically, but don’t tell that to Bill Gates.
There are several candidates from the recently departed that may have a shot to be on the list next year. Here are a few that may make it:
Johnny Carson was king of the late night talk shows for 30 years when he called it quits in 1992. After his death from emphysema in 2005 ( I can still see that ash tray that sat on his studio desk) his estate owned over 4000 hours of video footage (The Tonight Show broadcasts which aired from 1962 to 1972 were erased to save on storage costs……some heads rolled for that, I’m sure). On a recent entertainment news segment they showed the vault where the collection is kept; it is housed 54 stories below ground in a climate controlled salt mine near Kansas City, Kansas. You can occasionally see some of the highlights on a 30 minute infomercial and smile as Johnny chuckles or swings his air golf club.
Dale Earnhardt Sr. drove his last lap in 2001 which ended in the crash at the Daytona 500. Yet less than two years later his estates took in $20 M through licensing and royalty fees. General Motors Chevrolet Division honored him by naming a limited edition of a pickup truck the 2006 Silverado Intimidator SS (“The Intimidator” was Earnhardt’s nickname). With all the merchandise, collectables, souvenirs, superstore, and increased NASCAR visibility Dale’s estate can get that checkered flag again.
“‘Ol Blue Eyes“, “The Chairman of the Board“, that was Frank Sinatra whose career spanned 60 years of radio, television, movies, cabarets (“saloon singer” as he referred to himself), and records. He has been missing from the list of late but has usually been up there and will be again. I have high hopes he’ll be no stranger to those rites.
There are other notable musical names who continue to materially affect the lives of the living from the grave. Consider Gangsta rapper Tupac Shakur who died in 1996 and whose estate made $12 M in 2003 and $5 M the next year. Then there are Rogers and Hammerstein, Lerner and Lowe, Ira and George Gershwin, along with Cole Porter, Irving Berlin, Jimi Hendrix, and Jerry Garcia who have been on the list consistently. What music this must bring to their heirs.
Lastly, did you know that the deceased artists have agents? You’ve seen John Wayne, Audrey Hepburn, James Dean, Fred Astaire, and Charlie Chaplin on TV commercials hawking a host of products. A company out of Indianapolis had a corner on that market until recently when a division owned by Microsoft purchased a competing agency and added icons such as Warhol and Liberace. There will be a lot more seen from beyond the crypt and who said that there’s no life after death? Well it may be so if you don’t have a song in your heart. Gee, I wish my dad sang better!
By the way, it makes you wonder if there is an IRS agency on the other side of the grass? Now, that would be a humm-dinger!
End
Thursday, July 12, 2007
7/11/07
Believable doubt
Tri-O's
oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
We all know Andy Rooney the commentator who usually wraps up the CBS 60 Minutes program with a satirical and sometimes cynical essay. But long before Andy there was a Greek philosopher who roamed the streets of ancient Athens teaching that the simple life (no, not the Paris-Nicole kind) was the only virtuous one. He lived in a tub and was said to have discarded his last utensil, a cup, when seeing a man drink from his hands. Rank and social position meant nothing to him. He was in that tub when Alexander the Great asked what he desired, and Diogenes said, “Only step out of my sunlight.” The apex of his cynicism was when he trudged in daylight holding aloft a lantern looking “for an honest man”
Then there was Cassandra. She was the beautiful daughter of Queen Hecuba and King Priam of Troy. Apollo, the god of the Sun, fell in love with her and gave her the gift of prophecy to seduce her, but she rejected him afterwards. Enraged, Apollo put a diabolical codicil to her power----indeed she had the ability to know the future and tell the truth but, and here’s the twist ……. no one would ever believe her!
Imagine if the simplistic, yet complex, cynic Diogenes were to meet the truth telling, frustrated, not to be believed prophetess Cassandra. I think I see them. There they are looking down on us, mere mortals, and discussing current events. Let’s eavesdrop over the clouds:
Diogenes: Darn fools think that building a high fence will keep people forever on one side when everyone knows that anything constructed will eventually get destructed.
Cassandra: I know that it will be built, but the fix will be temporary. Remember, I told Stalin and Gorbachev about the same thing in Berlin. But noooo, they wouldn’t believe me; they had to hear it from Reagan. That was just like the time I warned daddy not to let that big Greek wooden horse into our city.
D: Yeah, we did make the most of that “gift”. But I’m upset….. malicious computer software that looks harmless but actually contains a virus is called a “Trojan” rather than a “Grecian” after the people who devised that scheme.
C: I see that if you are in a major city you will be photographed many times going about your day to day activities. There are many surveillance cameras in operation now and more are being installed as a deterrent to crime. I foresee neighborhood groups and gated communities following suit forming networks of their own and turning over criminal evidence to police.
D: That would sure provide a lot of screen monitoring jobs for the local voyeurs, provide exhibitionists with a stage to strut on, cut down on potential hanky-panky, and give a whole new meaning to “neighborhood watch“.
C: Another divination is that all citizens will have tiny radio powered I D microchips implanted which will contain vital medical and other personal information.
D: During my time they used to call that a “spouse” and you had to feed them.
C: It’s clear to me that foul air pollutants do damage to the firmament.
D : Now Cass, I suppose you’re going to tell me global warming caused Icarus to fall into the sea when we all know that he flew to close to your spurned suitor Apollo without first applying sunblock.
C: Then how can you explain all the smoky gray tinged beards on you guys up here that used to be snowy white?
D: Well it could be from our Grecian Formula # 16.
C: And the world is becoming more egotistical. Everywhere you go there is iPod, iTunes, iTrip, iDock, iSpeak, iPhone, and even iHop
D: I have to agree with you on this one and if things continue on this self indulgence course the birth rate will decrease, there will be fewer workers and service providers, eventually all systems will break down and our epitaph will be “iWas”
C: Things won’t get that bleak. However I do envisage fewer working hours, higher pay, longer vacations, paying less tax, and receiving more benefits.
D: Yes, but how about the folks who are not politicians?
C: Oh, Di, be serious. There is current conflict and bickering among nations and political parties which will not soon come to resolution.
D: There are some things in life that you can always count on.
And by the way, I have a few drachmas, I mean euros. Do you know the winner of Super Bowl XLII?
C: Of course. But if I told, who’d believe me?
END
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