7/18/07
Elvis is still in the bank
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
How would you like to earn income not only during your working life but also from the beyond? Yes, even after the bed, bath, and last rites. Well, not exactly for you, as you won’t be around to spend it, but for your estate or the loved ones left after you enter the hereafter. Simple. Your best bet is to just become a rock star, song writer, artist or entertainer. Follow me on this.
Next month will be the 30th anniversary of death of Elvis Presley, He strummed his last note at the age of 42 yet his estate last year, according to Forbes.com, made a million dollars for each year he lived. Right, $42 M. And get this, Elvis was second, behind Kurt Cobain who gyrated in at $50M (what Nirvana!). Of the top 13 named, five other high unearthly earners were in the musical category ( John Lennon $24 M, Ray Charles $10 M, Johnny Cash $8 M, George Harrison $7 M, and Bob Marley $7). The Arts/Entertainment drew three (Charles M. Schulz $35 M [don’t call that Peanuts], Andy Warhol $19 M, and Marilyn Monroe $8 M). There were two authors ( Theodor Geisel [ Dr. Seuss- only fat green cat in the hat] $10 M, and J.R.R. Tolkien $7M) and a lonely scientist (Albert Einstein $ 20 M). So earning from the other side is more readily accomplished artistically, but don’t tell that to Bill Gates.
There are several candidates from the recently departed that may have a shot to be on the list next year. Here are a few that may make it:
Johnny Carson was king of the late night talk shows for 30 years when he called it quits in 1992. After his death from emphysema in 2005 ( I can still see that ash tray that sat on his studio desk) his estate owned over 4000 hours of video footage (The Tonight Show broadcasts which aired from 1962 to 1972 were erased to save on storage costs……some heads rolled for that, I’m sure). On a recent entertainment news segment they showed the vault where the collection is kept; it is housed 54 stories below ground in a climate controlled salt mine near Kansas City, Kansas. You can occasionally see some of the highlights on a 30 minute infomercial and smile as Johnny chuckles or swings his air golf club.
Dale Earnhardt Sr. drove his last lap in 2001 which ended in the crash at the Daytona 500. Yet less than two years later his estates took in $20 M through licensing and royalty fees. General Motors Chevrolet Division honored him by naming a limited edition of a pickup truck the 2006 Silverado Intimidator SS (“The Intimidator” was Earnhardt’s nickname). With all the merchandise, collectables, souvenirs, superstore, and increased NASCAR visibility Dale’s estate can get that checkered flag again.
“‘Ol Blue Eyes“, “The Chairman of the Board“, that was Frank Sinatra whose career spanned 60 years of radio, television, movies, cabarets (“saloon singer” as he referred to himself), and records. He has been missing from the list of late but has usually been up there and will be again. I have high hopes he’ll be no stranger to those rites.
There are other notable musical names who continue to materially affect the lives of the living from the grave. Consider Gangsta rapper Tupac Shakur who died in 1996 and whose estate made $12 M in 2003 and $5 M the next year. Then there are Rogers and Hammerstein, Lerner and Lowe, Ira and George Gershwin, along with Cole Porter, Irving Berlin, Jimi Hendrix, and Jerry Garcia who have been on the list consistently. What music this must bring to their heirs.
Lastly, did you know that the deceased artists have agents? You’ve seen John Wayne, Audrey Hepburn, James Dean, Fred Astaire, and Charlie Chaplin on TV commercials hawking a host of products. A company out of Indianapolis had a corner on that market until recently when a division owned by Microsoft purchased a competing agency and added icons such as Warhol and Liberace. There will be a lot more seen from beyond the crypt and who said that there’s no life after death? Well it may be so if you don’t have a song in your heart. Gee, I wish my dad sang better!
By the way, it makes you wonder if there is an IRS agency on the other side of the grass? Now, that would be a humm-dinger!
End
Monday, July 30, 2007
Thursday, July 12, 2007
7/11/07
Believable doubt
Tri-O's
oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
We all know Andy Rooney the commentator who usually wraps up the CBS 60 Minutes program with a satirical and sometimes cynical essay. But long before Andy there was a Greek philosopher who roamed the streets of ancient Athens teaching that the simple life (no, not the Paris-Nicole kind) was the only virtuous one. He lived in a tub and was said to have discarded his last utensil, a cup, when seeing a man drink from his hands. Rank and social position meant nothing to him. He was in that tub when Alexander the Great asked what he desired, and Diogenes said, “Only step out of my sunlight.” The apex of his cynicism was when he trudged in daylight holding aloft a lantern looking “for an honest man”
Then there was Cassandra. She was the beautiful daughter of Queen Hecuba and King Priam of Troy. Apollo, the god of the Sun, fell in love with her and gave her the gift of prophecy to seduce her, but she rejected him afterwards. Enraged, Apollo put a diabolical codicil to her power----indeed she had the ability to know the future and tell the truth but, and here’s the twist ……. no one would ever believe her!
Imagine if the simplistic, yet complex, cynic Diogenes were to meet the truth telling, frustrated, not to be believed prophetess Cassandra. I think I see them. There they are looking down on us, mere mortals, and discussing current events. Let’s eavesdrop over the clouds:
Diogenes: Darn fools think that building a high fence will keep people forever on one side when everyone knows that anything constructed will eventually get destructed.
Cassandra: I know that it will be built, but the fix will be temporary. Remember, I told Stalin and Gorbachev about the same thing in Berlin. But noooo, they wouldn’t believe me; they had to hear it from Reagan. That was just like the time I warned daddy not to let that big Greek wooden horse into our city.
D: Yeah, we did make the most of that “gift”. But I’m upset….. malicious computer software that looks harmless but actually contains a virus is called a “Trojan” rather than a “Grecian” after the people who devised that scheme.
C: I see that if you are in a major city you will be photographed many times going about your day to day activities. There are many surveillance cameras in operation now and more are being installed as a deterrent to crime. I foresee neighborhood groups and gated communities following suit forming networks of their own and turning over criminal evidence to police.
D: That would sure provide a lot of screen monitoring jobs for the local voyeurs, provide exhibitionists with a stage to strut on, cut down on potential hanky-panky, and give a whole new meaning to “neighborhood watch“.
C: Another divination is that all citizens will have tiny radio powered I D microchips implanted which will contain vital medical and other personal information.
D: During my time they used to call that a “spouse” and you had to feed them.
C: It’s clear to me that foul air pollutants do damage to the firmament.
D : Now Cass, I suppose you’re going to tell me global warming caused Icarus to fall into the sea when we all know that he flew to close to your spurned suitor Apollo without first applying sunblock.
C: Then how can you explain all the smoky gray tinged beards on you guys up here that used to be snowy white?
D: Well it could be from our Grecian Formula # 16.
C: And the world is becoming more egotistical. Everywhere you go there is iPod, iTunes, iTrip, iDock, iSpeak, iPhone, and even iHop
D: I have to agree with you on this one and if things continue on this self indulgence course the birth rate will decrease, there will be fewer workers and service providers, eventually all systems will break down and our epitaph will be “iWas”
C: Things won’t get that bleak. However I do envisage fewer working hours, higher pay, longer vacations, paying less tax, and receiving more benefits.
D: Yes, but how about the folks who are not politicians?
C: Oh, Di, be serious. There is current conflict and bickering among nations and political parties which will not soon come to resolution.
D: There are some things in life that you can always count on.
And by the way, I have a few drachmas, I mean euros. Do you know the winner of Super Bowl XLII?
C: Of course. But if I told, who’d believe me?
END
Friday, June 22, 2007
6/20/07
Buried on page 27
Tri-O's
oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
All the bold faced headlines blare the topical news, i.e., Iraq, immigration, l presidential candidates, global warming, a Hilton named Paris, etc.. Meanwhile other, less consequential happenings may pique the interest of readers. These items are usually buried in the bowels of the newspaper on Page 27. Here are some that you might have missed if you quit reading after page 26.
There’s the guy in Michigan who sued his sister’s homeowner’s insurance company after her Siamese seal-point cat bit him. He was in the hospital for three weeks. The jury awarded him $122,400. The cat was characterized as "the pit bulls of cats." So beware the next time you go to pet Fluffy, she may be after more than your tongue.
There you are near the 14th tee at a plush suburban Chicago golf course and you see what looks like a speck of a Wilson or Spaulding ball protruding from the fairway. You dig around it to discover that it is a human skull along with other bones. The coroner said the bones were modern as two of the teeth were gold and one of the front teeth has an "R" embedded. No foul play was indicated but I surmise it could have been the outraged golfer who gave his defiant answer to the player who approached and asked , “Can I play through?”
You’re on a British Airways flight from New Delhi to London in first class having a snooze when you are awakened by a commotion coming from the seat nearby which was vacant when you dozed off. There you see the cabin crew struggling with a corpse. They are propping up the deceased elderly lady with pillows trying to wedge her in but she keeps slipping under the seatbelt and sloshing with the plane motion. It seems she has died in hour three of the nine hour flight and there is no room in the crowded economy class. The woman’s daughter is moved to first class where she spends the remainder of the trip “wailing in grief. What to do? You seek compensation for the stress and inconvenience but the airline says, in essence, “We’re sorry, but get over it”. Seems this situation happens about ten times a year with BA. For a like event Singapore Airlines have installed special "corpse cupboards”. Did they ever consider playing “Weekend at Bernie’s” on the in-flight movie to put the passengers at ease?
He was just trying to cross the street in front of the truck in Paw Paw, Mich. while strapped into his wheelchair when the traffic light turned green for the truck The rig driver did not see 21 year old Ben Carpenter in it but the handles of the rolling chair got lodged in the grille and WEEE off Ben went for a two mile ride at speeds approaching 50 mph.. The driver disbelieved the troopers’ story until he got out of the cab and saw the wheelchair. Ben was unhurt but this sure give new meaning to “Truckin’ down on the avenue”.
You won’t see an aerial view of this chase on “Cops” which involved another wheelchair incident in Schwerin, Germany. Seems the operator of the chair was pulled over by the police for using the automobile road. They then discovered his blood alcohol content 10 times the legal limit for drivers. "The officers couldn't quite believe it when they saw the results of the breath test. That's a life-threatening figure." Since he was not in a powered vehicle the 31-year-old man was considered a pedestrian, and will not be charged with a driving offense but they are unsure as to what it will be. How about WWI (wheeling while intoxicated) or have him repeat 100 times “Bad boy, bad boy, what cha’ gonna do when they breathalize you?”
When a preschooler teacher in Malmo, Sweden nearly fell after stepping into a pile of dog poop her students organized a protest against the leaving of the litter. They made small signs and planted one in each pile they found. The signs say things such as "Pick up after yourself". Let’s hope that the signs are stapled to sticks at least higher than the poop.
And lastly, in Cheltenham, U.K., to shame dog owners into pooper scooping (to which the discreet citizens refer to as “dog fouling”) they draw circles with spray paint around the piles. When a dog warden finds a “foul” a red circle is sprayed around it. If it is still there after a week a yellow circle is added. After two weeks (it had to be a Great Dane) on goes a white circle. These markings make it easier to spot and therefore avoid.
One can only hope that no one mistakes these circles for a game of Twister.
END
Buried on page 27
Tri-O's
oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
All the bold faced headlines blare the topical news, i.e., Iraq, immigration, l presidential candidates, global warming, a Hilton named Paris, etc.. Meanwhile other, less consequential happenings may pique the interest of readers. These items are usually buried in the bowels of the newspaper on Page 27. Here are some that you might have missed if you quit reading after page 26.
There’s the guy in Michigan who sued his sister’s homeowner’s insurance company after her Siamese seal-point cat bit him. He was in the hospital for three weeks. The jury awarded him $122,400. The cat was characterized as "the pit bulls of cats." So beware the next time you go to pet Fluffy, she may be after more than your tongue.
There you are near the 14th tee at a plush suburban Chicago golf course and you see what looks like a speck of a Wilson or Spaulding ball protruding from the fairway. You dig around it to discover that it is a human skull along with other bones. The coroner said the bones were modern as two of the teeth were gold and one of the front teeth has an "R" embedded. No foul play was indicated but I surmise it could have been the outraged golfer who gave his defiant answer to the player who approached and asked , “Can I play through?”
You’re on a British Airways flight from New Delhi to London in first class having a snooze when you are awakened by a commotion coming from the seat nearby which was vacant when you dozed off. There you see the cabin crew struggling with a corpse. They are propping up the deceased elderly lady with pillows trying to wedge her in but she keeps slipping under the seatbelt and sloshing with the plane motion. It seems she has died in hour three of the nine hour flight and there is no room in the crowded economy class. The woman’s daughter is moved to first class where she spends the remainder of the trip “wailing in grief. What to do? You seek compensation for the stress and inconvenience but the airline says, in essence, “We’re sorry, but get over it”. Seems this situation happens about ten times a year with BA. For a like event Singapore Airlines have installed special "corpse cupboards”. Did they ever consider playing “Weekend at Bernie’s” on the in-flight movie to put the passengers at ease?
He was just trying to cross the street in front of the truck in Paw Paw, Mich. while strapped into his wheelchair when the traffic light turned green for the truck The rig driver did not see 21 year old Ben Carpenter in it but the handles of the rolling chair got lodged in the grille and WEEE off Ben went for a two mile ride at speeds approaching 50 mph.. The driver disbelieved the troopers’ story until he got out of the cab and saw the wheelchair. Ben was unhurt but this sure give new meaning to “Truckin’ down on the avenue”.
You won’t see an aerial view of this chase on “Cops” which involved another wheelchair incident in Schwerin, Germany. Seems the operator of the chair was pulled over by the police for using the automobile road. They then discovered his blood alcohol content 10 times the legal limit for drivers. "The officers couldn't quite believe it when they saw the results of the breath test. That's a life-threatening figure." Since he was not in a powered vehicle the 31-year-old man was considered a pedestrian, and will not be charged with a driving offense but they are unsure as to what it will be. How about WWI (wheeling while intoxicated) or have him repeat 100 times “Bad boy, bad boy, what cha’ gonna do when they breathalize you?”
When a preschooler teacher in Malmo, Sweden nearly fell after stepping into a pile of dog poop her students organized a protest against the leaving of the litter. They made small signs and planted one in each pile they found. The signs say things such as "Pick up after yourself". Let’s hope that the signs are stapled to sticks at least higher than the poop.
And lastly, in Cheltenham, U.K., to shame dog owners into pooper scooping (to which the discreet citizens refer to as “dog fouling”) they draw circles with spray paint around the piles. When a dog warden finds a “foul” a red circle is sprayed around it. If it is still there after a week a yellow circle is added. After two weeks (it had to be a Great Dane) on goes a white circle. These markings make it easier to spot and therefore avoid.
One can only hope that no one mistakes these circles for a game of Twister.
END
Friday, June 08, 2007
6/6/07
Who’s sorry now?
Tri-O's
Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
By Herb Kandel
A long time ago Bing Crosby, the Justin Timberlake of the 1930’s to the 1960’s, sang
“If I told a lie, if I made you cry -----, I'm sorry. From the bottom of my heart, -- I apologize” * This past Thursday Gov. Bob Riley didn’t sing, but signed a legislative resolution apologizing for Alabama’s participation in slavery and its’ wrongs. Alabama now links with Maryland, Virginia, and North Carolina in formalizing the apology and to which other former slave states will most likely join. Hey, if the slavery apology was good enough for Lincoln in 1863 it’ll still work for Bob now.
On this subject of public admission of error, discourtesy or wrong doing, perhaps there should be more. It could set a new trend and add to those already on record.
First lets check out celebrity ‘sorry’s‘. The most recent was Don Imus, who, grinch-like, tarnished the Ho’s of Santa’s greeting. After Mel Gibson’s anti-Semetic tirade his passion in apologizing never quite passed the kosher test; yet it was Sacha Baron Cohen's alter ego, Borat, who vouched for him "We agree with his comments that the Jews started all wars. We also have proof that they were responsible for killing off all the dinosaurs. And Hurricane Katrina - they did it." Michael Richards gave his apology after his onstage racial rant which raised hackles higher than both his and Don Kings’s hair. Russell Crowe apologized for flinging a phone in a concierge's face even before pressing 1 for English. Jane Fonda said her going to North Vietnam was wrong but few listened and she is said to wear rain gear at book signings. After her wardrobe malfunction, Janet Jackson made a clean breast of the mishap with her contrition. Even Hugh Grant, arrested in a car with a prostitute, regretted the position.
Sovereign nations are not exempt either. Australia has apologized to its aborigines. Tony Blair has apologized to the Irish for Great Britain’s handling of the potato famine. Japan apologized to China for the war against them; they did the same for the Republic of Korea “wartime comfort women” and World War II prisoners of war. Germany's made an apology to Israel for the Holocaust. The U.S. Congress admitted guilt to Japanese Americans for their internment during World War II.. Mother Russia told Poland it was sorry for the Soviet army's massacre of Polish army officers. Nelson Mandela's too gave apology for atrocities allegedly committed by his African National Congress. In 1992 Spain apologized for the 1492 Inquisition.
Religion also has its mea culpas. Pope Benedict XVI appeared remorseful when he regretted causing offence to Muslims in quoting a 14th century text. Years before, on behalf of the Roman Catholic Church, Pope John Paul II's express regret for its role in supporting the enslavement of Africans. TV evangelist Jimmy Swaggart, after he was caught on camera with a prostitute outside a New Orleans motel, gave a pre-cursor to Katrina with his tearful confession. The Rev. Ted Haggard admitted he had been receiving massages from a Denver man for three years and had bought metamphetamine. Haggard resigned as president of the National Association of Evangelicals but still advocates passage of an amendment to the Constitution to ban same-sex marriage.
Now to the world of sports: Kobe Bryant, the basketball star pleaded not guilty to sexual assault but admitted a consensual one-night stand with a hotel worker. His wife stood by her man as he made his apology public while she eyed the new peace offering on her finger, a $4 million diamond ring. Former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson, in a high pitched voice, read his apology, he said he was sorry for biting Evander Holyfield and asked not to be banned from boxing for life; nothing was mentioned about rabies testing.
Where to start in Politics? Sen. Bob Packwood was sorry for having groped women as was Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger . The Terminator also said of Puerto Ricans and Cubans, “They are all very hot. They have the, you know, part of the black blood in them and part of the Latino blood in them that together makes it.”. Almost “Hasta la vista, baby” had he not asked for forgiveness. Senator Trent Lott had repeated apologies - each one digging him more deeply into a hole for his pro-segregation remarks intended to compliment Strom Thurmond’s 100th birthday. Durham District Attorney Mike Nifong bowed to the former Duke lacrosse players when the N.C. Attorney General proclaimed they were wrongly accused. After Sen. John McCain's made the tasteless and hurtful joke about Chelsea Clinton, Janet Reno, and Hillary Clinton he apologized to the Clintons. President Bill Clinton apologized to the country for his conduct in l’afair Monica --- and that’s all there IS.
Disclaimer: If anyone was offended by any of the above…..I’m sorry.
************************************
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."--Mahatma Gandhi
"Always forgive your enemies--nothing annoys them so much."--Oscar Wilde
* I APOLOGIZE (Al Goodhart / Al Hoffman / Edward Nelson)
Thursday, May 24, 2007
5/23/07
We loved Lucy
We loved Lucy
Tri-O's
Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
An old maxim states that a camel is a horse designed by committee. If that is so then it must have taken at least two committees to have come up with the mold for Lucy, our eclectic pet.
At first glance she might have been mistaken for a dachshund as her elongated body with somewhat disproportionate short legs gave her that appearance. But her head and snout resembled a Chihuahuas’, except her ears; the cocker spaniel kind that lapped over. Her chest was that of a bulldog, thrust out and proud. Her short hair had the color of a chocolate Labrador, which, after she had her bath, shone like a seals’ coat. Boston terrier brown eyes peered at the world ever alert for perils that could befall someone whose peepers were only 3 inches above the ground. To complete the picture, when this canine montage walked, her squat front legs swung in semi-circles as she waddled forward duck-like. This was our little Lucy.
She was a rescue puppy. We were told she had been neglected to where she was left outdoors in all weather at all times to pretty much fend for herself, to the point of foraging for food in garbage bags.
That was almost fifteen years ago. She was our constant companion in all the places we lived and in every hurricane evacuation. She was accepted by our mostly schnauzer, Bonzer (she too was a rescue hound) and later Lucy welcomed Daphne (yet another pound puppy - mostly soft coated wheaten terrier). Because of her size and disposition she was always the Beta to the other dogs. Over the years as her siblings passed on to The Rainbow Bridge in the sky and others became beloved family members, she assumed the role of Grand Dame. Independent and aloof she garnered the respect of her new, younger, and always larger siblings. She rarely played with the other two but when it happened it was she who initiated the action.
If Lucy had been an entrant in a canine pageant she would not have been a nominee for Miss Congeniality. But she would have had a good shot at Miss Loyalty, Miss Sweetness, or Miss Quiet Companion. She had a way of sidling up to your dangling hand when you were sitting and then rubbing her head against it, side to side, which always reminded me of an elephant-like gyration when they roll their heads. In her younger days, when her body and legs was more supple, she would skip up the stairway to the second floor. Her stubby back legs providing the propulsion while the front ones reached out; but with her circular gait it looked like she was doing a land locked breast-stroke. And when she descended she took on the appearance of a slinky slithering down step to step.
As the years went by they took their normal toll. Her face and paws showed at first a hint of gray later more so, the vanilla encroached the chocalate. She slept longer, deeper, and more often. She balked at steps and had to be carried down and up. Because of her early puppy hood hunger her appetite never waned, until near the end. For several months she had been receiving fluid injections to prevent dehydration and to flush waste products through the kidneys, as she was experiencing chronic kidney failure.
Our vet, a caring Dr. Bill, said it was time to let her go. Body functions were shutting down and nothing more could be done without additional suffering. So on May Day she was held lovingly as she slipped away - first to a peaceful sleep and then to eternity.
There is a bond between humans and animals but especially with those pets who provided personal companionship, love that was unconditional, acceptance, and a sharing co-dependence each day.
There is an empty bowl now at meal time, a vacant bed at the foot of ours, a leash that hangs limp on a hook, and a space in our hearts that is currently occupied with only memories. Our quaint, funny looking, sweet Lucy, who graced our home for all those years, I know is having her head rubbed by someone somewhere. And when I think of this, as is oft times, it brings back a paraphrase of the Beatles song “Lucy in the sky with -- Bonzer and Daphne”
End
http://www.baldwincountynow.com/articles/2007/05/24/columnists/doc46534edb797a3076728230.txt
Friday, May 11, 2007
5/9/07
Flip the tassel, YOSOHK '07
Tri'Os
Oddities, observations & opinions
BY Herb Kandel
Thank you, Ye Olde School of Hard Knocks Class of 2007 for inviting me once again to address your commencement exercises. Every effort will be made to keep you awake and make brief the forthcoming, slightly acerbic, pearls of whim and wisdom.
As you know, your class is the one where the average age is mid-40s, or there about. You have made life experiences count toward the credits earned for the conferred degree of Bachelor of Survival. Your alma mater boasts the likes of nine presidents ( Washington, Jackson, Van Buren, Taylor, Fillmore, Lincoln, Andrew Johnson, Cleveland and Truman), John D. Rockefeller Sr. and Bill Gates, Ralph Lauren, Julie Andrews, Agatha Christie, Davy Crockett, Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, Ray Kroc and Claude Monet, to name a few. In addition, let us not forget Eminem and Yogi Bera who once said, “You can hear a lot just by watching.” None of the aforementioned received a formal college degree, and some were dropouts. Alas, even Albert Einstein was a high school dropout who taught himself calculus and had to retake special exams to get into college, having failed the first attempt. You are in good company, relatively speaking.
You all have risen to this plateau despite, or in some cases, because of the hardships encountered during the way. You adapted and prevailed over the surly boss or the family situation, which might have brought you down.
Most of you here know of the recent best selling book “The Secret,” by Rhonda Byrne endorsed by Oprah. However, long before “The Secret” was “The Strangest Secret.” You, dear graduates, were putting into practice “The Strangest Secret,” as set forth by Earl Nightingale.
Nightingale had a radio show, “Our Changing World.” It was the most highly syndicated radio program of its time, spanning more than 40 years up until his retirement. He was heard daily, across the United States and 38 other countries. Some of you may remember him. He was an inspirational speaker, a motivator, and a philosopher (well before Tony Robbins, Depak Chopra, and dare I mention — Donald Trump?). He had a deep somewhat gravelly voice, which resonated confidence. In 1957, he intoned six magical words that formed a blueprint for living and obtaining desired success, those words became a defining moment in many lives.
He said, “We become what we think about.”
This thought was culled from a book by Napoleon Hill, and embellished, almost to a mantra, by Nightingale. Again, “We become what we think about.” Think about it.
He called it “The Strangest Secret”because of its‚ irony — “that this truth of why we become, whatever it is we become, is no “secret” at all, and therefore, it’s “strange” that we don’t all know about it!”
He went on to say, “Our attitude towards others determines their attitude towards us.”
You new graduates have mastered this positive attitude because you had direction, focus, and knew where you were going. Despite obstacles, this inner compass combined with courage, advanced you to your destination. You discovered that even though you may not be the next “American Idol” or win the lottery, you don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy or successful. You already know that your success is based upon the realization of a worthy goal or ideal attained in a steadfast manner (remember the tortoise and hare race).
As for the future: define what is most important to you. Ask yourself two questions then answer them, “Self, what do I enjoy doing? Can I, and will I, be content and enjoy doing it every day, from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. and beyond?”
When you have your answers and put them into practice, you will then have become what you think about, be it merchant, mogul, meanderer, or the best ________ (you fill in the blank).
There is a short Chinese poem : This one makes the net — This one stands and wishes — Would you like to bet — Which one gets the fishes?
In closing, the words of Earl Nightingale, “Jobs are owned by the company, you own your career!”
— And from me: “Remember to floss.”
Congratulations Class of ‘07.
Flip the tassel, YOSOHK '07
Tri'Os
Oddities, observations & opinions
BY Herb Kandel
Thank you, Ye Olde School of Hard Knocks Class of 2007 for inviting me once again to address your commencement exercises. Every effort will be made to keep you awake and make brief the forthcoming, slightly acerbic, pearls of whim and wisdom.
As you know, your class is the one where the average age is mid-40s, or there about. You have made life experiences count toward the credits earned for the conferred degree of Bachelor of Survival. Your alma mater boasts the likes of nine presidents ( Washington, Jackson, Van Buren, Taylor, Fillmore, Lincoln, Andrew Johnson, Cleveland and Truman), John D. Rockefeller Sr. and Bill Gates, Ralph Lauren, Julie Andrews, Agatha Christie, Davy Crockett, Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, Ray Kroc and Claude Monet, to name a few. In addition, let us not forget Eminem and Yogi Bera who once said, “You can hear a lot just by watching.” None of the aforementioned received a formal college degree, and some were dropouts. Alas, even Albert Einstein was a high school dropout who taught himself calculus and had to retake special exams to get into college, having failed the first attempt. You are in good company, relatively speaking.
You all have risen to this plateau despite, or in some cases, because of the hardships encountered during the way. You adapted and prevailed over the surly boss or the family situation, which might have brought you down.
Most of you here know of the recent best selling book “The Secret,” by Rhonda Byrne endorsed by Oprah. However, long before “The Secret” was “The Strangest Secret.” You, dear graduates, were putting into practice “The Strangest Secret,” as set forth by Earl Nightingale.
Nightingale had a radio show, “Our Changing World.” It was the most highly syndicated radio program of its time, spanning more than 40 years up until his retirement. He was heard daily, across the United States and 38 other countries. Some of you may remember him. He was an inspirational speaker, a motivator, and a philosopher (well before Tony Robbins, Depak Chopra, and dare I mention — Donald Trump?). He had a deep somewhat gravelly voice, which resonated confidence. In 1957, he intoned six magical words that formed a blueprint for living and obtaining desired success, those words became a defining moment in many lives.
He said, “We become what we think about.”
This thought was culled from a book by Napoleon Hill, and embellished, almost to a mantra, by Nightingale. Again, “We become what we think about.” Think about it.
He called it “The Strangest Secret”because of its‚ irony — “that this truth of why we become, whatever it is we become, is no “secret” at all, and therefore, it’s “strange” that we don’t all know about it!”
He went on to say, “Our attitude towards others determines their attitude towards us.”
You new graduates have mastered this positive attitude because you had direction, focus, and knew where you were going. Despite obstacles, this inner compass combined with courage, advanced you to your destination. You discovered that even though you may not be the next “American Idol” or win the lottery, you don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy or successful. You already know that your success is based upon the realization of a worthy goal or ideal attained in a steadfast manner (remember the tortoise and hare race).
As for the future: define what is most important to you. Ask yourself two questions then answer them, “Self, what do I enjoy doing? Can I, and will I, be content and enjoy doing it every day, from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. and beyond?”
When you have your answers and put them into practice, you will then have become what you think about, be it merchant, mogul, meanderer, or the best ________ (you fill in the blank).
There is a short Chinese poem : This one makes the net — This one stands and wishes — Would you like to bet — Which one gets the fishes?
In closing, the words of Earl Nightingale, “Jobs are owned by the company, you own your career!”
— And from me: “Remember to floss.”
Congratulations Class of ‘07.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
4/25/07
Tiny bubbles in the sea: a parable
Tri-O’s:Oddities, observations & opinions
Tiny bubbles in the sea: a parable
Tri-O’s:Oddities, observations & opinions
By Herb Kandel
Tiny bubbles in the sea: a parable
In the beginning was the tank, a very large tank. And the Mighty Cod saw that it was good and created the creatures in his likeness and called them fish.Although all were fish, there were many sizes, shapes and colors. Some had different dorsal and pectoral fins. Among the dorsal fins were many textures, stiff, wavy, undulating, curvy, velvety, or rough. Some fish were round or cylindrical, others flat. Their scales had distinct color and texture also. Some were smooth to the touch, others felt like sandpaper while a few were slimy.
It came to pass that certain fish became Yappers. Their chosen profession was to let all the other fish know what was going on in different parts of the big tank as to the latest temperature changes, activity and locations of plankton (the drifting organism that is the mainstay in the aquatic environment) and krill, the other major food staple (the shrimp-like marine invertebrate animal). They did this by bubble-cast. Their bubble-casts could be tuned in (tuna-Ed, in fish talk) whenever the fish desired by just positioning the gill cover to receive the signals. The Yappers also conversed with the fish population on any subject: current currents, tide times, new coral sightings, or even the major schools‚ scores of popular games such as finball, dodge the lure, baits ball, fly catching and other sports.
Other varieties in the group included the Sharpies, and Amberjax. The Sharpies and Amberjax were self-appointed watch-fish who constantly monitored the tank and those who swam in it. They were the would-be judges of any perceived insult, slight, snub, or anything untoward said about fish with certain style fins but particularly their own. Yappers and political fish like the King mackerels being the most verbose because of their profession were easy targets. The Sharpies and Amberjax continued doing this even though they themselves were known in the past to have criticized fish with different scales like the Jewfish and Whiting. They would instantly start gnawing at any Yapper if they felt the Yapper had done something inappropriate. But for the most part all the varieties of fish swam together in the big tank and got along.
It so happened that during a game of crabbage for the tank championship that the Yapper, Ike Muskie, bubbled what he thought was a joke but in reality, as all later agreed, was a stupid, hurtful and uncalled for comment. He referred to the team composed of a diversity of she-fish as “Fuzzy finned ro’s” (an abbreviation for “roers,” i.e., loose female fish who are promiscuous, or immoral and who indiscriminately eject their eggs).
The Sharpies were joined by the Amberjax in pouncing on I. Muskie for this defamation. They organized picket lines in front of the headquarters of Sea Bubble System, Ike’s employer, demanding that they give Ike the hook. Included among the many that picketed were Rainbow trout, Black grouper, Orange roughy (for the mussel) and Red herring (just for the halibut).
Realizing the error of his stupidity, Ike apologized to the team and to all the fish he had offended. Many accepted his apology but the Sharpies and Amberjax still demanded their pound of fillet. Much was made of this incident, and it dominated a majority of all the bubble-casts — even replacing the pink salmon paternity debate about Anna Mack-rell’s fingerling and the war against Terror-fish waging in a far-off part of the tank.
The management of Sea B.S. Floundered at first and skated around the issue Then, knowing they were caught in the net of a controversy with many tentacles, they relented and reeled in Ike. Verily, when asked why I. Muskie was yanked from bubble-casting, the explanation given was that he got caught in catch 22 where no matter in which stream you choose to swim, it turns out to be against the current — as in a riptide — and if you did not try to swim, then you get carried away with the tide to drown. Either way you are in a whirlpool of trouble.Some contend that Ike should have been caught, grilled and released. Others accepted managements’ decision, while a minority chanted the dictum of pre-destination and invoked, “In Cod We Trust.”
END
Herb Kandel is an entrepreneur and a former human resources executive who now lives in Fairhope. He can be contacted at hekan@mail.com
4/11/07
Dirty little secrets of Max Stout
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
Dirty little secrets of Max Stout
Hardly a week goes by when one credit card company or another seeks me out offering a pre-approved credit card with a high credit limit and low interest rates. Who knew I was so popular and credit-worthy? But wait- - it seems that I'm just one of eight billion who have been the recipient of similar solicitations last year. What gives when massive missives cause the cutting of thousands of trees and other multi-related expenses just to put another piece of plastic in wallets? How can you build a defense against this unsolicited wastebasket stuffer? What is a beleaguered person to do?
With the help of my imaginary whistle blower Max Stout we‘ll explore some credit card practices and policies and build some defenses to thwart them.
Max and I were listening to NPR “Fresh Air” when hostess Terry Gross interviewed Elizabeth Warren a Harvard Law Professor and bankruptcy expert. Warren is also the author of “The Two-Income Trap: Why Middle Class Mothers and Fathers Are Going Broke.”
“Max, is it true as Ms .Warren states that if a young couple charges $5,000 worth of baby supplies and pays the minimum, the baby will be grown, married, and have babies of his/her own before the debt is paid off?”
“’Fraid so. At some of today’s rates It can be upwards of 26 to 34 years.”
“ And why do they refer to people who pay their bills in full each month as ‘deadbeats’?”
“Credit card companies make money three ways. First, through a merchant discount fee; each time you charge something, the vender has to pay a fee. Second through interest on the unpaid balance. But the third way is the ‘jackpot’ – the high double digit fees the companies charge when the customer fails to make payments on time. Paying your full bill on time provides only about $21 billion annually, small potatoes. The ‘real’ profits come from fees charged for over-limit, or late fees or default rates of interest.”
“Isn't that usury?”
Max smiled knowingly as he said, ”Credit card contracts usually state ‘we have the right to change the rates, fees, and terms at any time, for any reason’ so they can charge you whatever they want. Ever notice that most issuers are based out of Delaware, South Dakota, California, and Tennessee? According to the American Bankers Association these states have no maximums on delinquency fees, cash advance fees, over-the-limit fees, transaction fees, stop payment fees, ATM fees, and mandatory grace period”
“How did that happen?”
“In 1978 the Supreme Court had ruled that a national bank could impose any credit rate allowed by the state in which it is located. That’s why South Dakota is so popular in banking circles.”
“Are there other things to be wary of?”
“Watch the interest rate even if you pay on time, some credit card companies will hike your rate if they see you've made a late payment on another card. Check the due date, for months your bill will be due on a certain date, then without notice the date will be moved several days earlier or fall on a holiday or a Sunday. If paying by mail allow more delivery time, as some issuers send east coast cardholders pre-printed envelopes directing their payments to some town on the west coast - a small town because it takes longer for mail to be distributed - while west coast customers mail, you guessed it, go to a small town on the east coast. If you receive an unjustified charge fight it. Warren claimed, ‘This year, one company hit everybody with a $75 fee. Anybody who complained got the fee removed from their bill. This way, the company kept their "alert, cranky customers" and got $75 from the careless and timid’”
“Max, it all seems like a one way street if you're not vigilant.”, I sighed.
“That’s right you get the benefit, advantage, convenience of credit, and perhaps some perks but you must be familiar with the rules and the pitfalls.”
“Can I at least stop the relentless pre-approved offers?”
“ Sure thing”, he said as if anticipating the question,“ Just like the telephone marketers ‘no call’ list, consumers who call 1-888-5OPTOUT or visit www.optoutprescreen.com can “opt out” of most mailings. Your name will not be eligible for inclusion on lists used for offers of credit or insurance for five years; there is also an option to make this permanent. Destroy the applications you are not interested in, as thieves practice ‘dumpster diving’ to retrieve them and try to activate them. If your mail is delivered to a place where others have easy access to it, criminals may intercept and redirect your mail.”
“Thanks for the heads-up, Max. Where are you going now?”
“To buy more stock in a shredder company.”
END
Dirty little secrets of Max Stout
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
Dirty little secrets of Max Stout
Hardly a week goes by when one credit card company or another seeks me out offering a pre-approved credit card with a high credit limit and low interest rates. Who knew I was so popular and credit-worthy? But wait- - it seems that I'm just one of eight billion who have been the recipient of similar solicitations last year. What gives when massive missives cause the cutting of thousands of trees and other multi-related expenses just to put another piece of plastic in wallets? How can you build a defense against this unsolicited wastebasket stuffer? What is a beleaguered person to do?
With the help of my imaginary whistle blower Max Stout we‘ll explore some credit card practices and policies and build some defenses to thwart them.
Max and I were listening to NPR “Fresh Air” when hostess Terry Gross interviewed Elizabeth Warren a Harvard Law Professor and bankruptcy expert. Warren is also the author of “The Two-Income Trap: Why Middle Class Mothers and Fathers Are Going Broke.”
“Max, is it true as Ms .Warren states that if a young couple charges $5,000 worth of baby supplies and pays the minimum, the baby will be grown, married, and have babies of his/her own before the debt is paid off?”
“’Fraid so. At some of today’s rates It can be upwards of 26 to 34 years.”
“ And why do they refer to people who pay their bills in full each month as ‘deadbeats’?”
“Credit card companies make money three ways. First, through a merchant discount fee; each time you charge something, the vender has to pay a fee. Second through interest on the unpaid balance. But the third way is the ‘jackpot’ – the high double digit fees the companies charge when the customer fails to make payments on time. Paying your full bill on time provides only about $21 billion annually, small potatoes. The ‘real’ profits come from fees charged for over-limit, or late fees or default rates of interest.”
“Isn't that usury?”
Max smiled knowingly as he said, ”Credit card contracts usually state ‘we have the right to change the rates, fees, and terms at any time, for any reason’ so they can charge you whatever they want. Ever notice that most issuers are based out of Delaware, South Dakota, California, and Tennessee? According to the American Bankers Association these states have no maximums on delinquency fees, cash advance fees, over-the-limit fees, transaction fees, stop payment fees, ATM fees, and mandatory grace period”
“How did that happen?”
“In 1978 the Supreme Court had ruled that a national bank could impose any credit rate allowed by the state in which it is located. That’s why South Dakota is so popular in banking circles.”
“Are there other things to be wary of?”
“Watch the interest rate even if you pay on time, some credit card companies will hike your rate if they see you've made a late payment on another card. Check the due date, for months your bill will be due on a certain date, then without notice the date will be moved several days earlier or fall on a holiday or a Sunday. If paying by mail allow more delivery time, as some issuers send east coast cardholders pre-printed envelopes directing their payments to some town on the west coast - a small town because it takes longer for mail to be distributed - while west coast customers mail, you guessed it, go to a small town on the east coast. If you receive an unjustified charge fight it. Warren claimed, ‘This year, one company hit everybody with a $75 fee. Anybody who complained got the fee removed from their bill. This way, the company kept their "alert, cranky customers" and got $75 from the careless and timid’”
“Max, it all seems like a one way street if you're not vigilant.”, I sighed.
“That’s right you get the benefit, advantage, convenience of credit, and perhaps some perks but you must be familiar with the rules and the pitfalls.”
“Can I at least stop the relentless pre-approved offers?”
“ Sure thing”, he said as if anticipating the question,“ Just like the telephone marketers ‘no call’ list, consumers who call 1-888-5OPTOUT or visit www.optoutprescreen.com can “opt out” of most mailings. Your name will not be eligible for inclusion on lists used for offers of credit or insurance for five years; there is also an option to make this permanent. Destroy the applications you are not interested in, as thieves practice ‘dumpster diving’ to retrieve them and try to activate them. If your mail is delivered to a place where others have easy access to it, criminals may intercept and redirect your mail.”
“Thanks for the heads-up, Max. Where are you going now?”
“To buy more stock in a shredder company.”
END
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
3/28/07
Symbiosis for everyone
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
What to do? The problem Germany now faces is a fast aging population, the estimate in 2050 is one third of the population will be over 65 and close to ¾ of a million people will require some type of assisted living plus the facilities in which to accommodate them. Even with a high unemployment rate the openings for elder-care remain unanswered. Some relief was had in the mixing of the elderly with youth centers, vocational schools, and even tapping young men to work there in lieu of their mandatory military hitch. Still the demand exceeds supply so to help fill this gap a fresh solution is being explored now - retraining prostitutes for these positions. Since it was legalized there has been intense competition in the oldest profession and an abundance of ‘vendors’. Too much of that ‘supply’ coupled with no retirement or health plans led to more idle ladies of the night. That’s when someone saw the light…..the red one.
According to “US News & World Report” a pilot program to do just that has been started. The program has about 50 in it and according to the program director, "Prostitutes have already learned to get along with people, and they're usually very good listeners. Plus, they have no reservations about touching people's bodies." Another peripheral benefit was ….but I‘ll get to that later.
This type of relationship is similar to mutuality in symbiosis. That is when two or more species live and interact closely wherein both benefit. For example, the clown fish and the anemone where the fish feeds the poisonous anemone, the anemone protects the fish. Another is the tickbirds and the rhinoceros where the birds get dinner, a free ride, and protection and the rhinos get a companion who picks ticks off its back.
That relationship of contributing and receiving got me to thinking of other occasions where mutuality could be applied, both practical and theoretical, and realistic and whimsical. But instead of different species let's consider only human inter-relationships.
Remember Yenta the matchmaker in “Fiddler on the Roof” saying, “ With the way she looks and the way he sees, it’s a perfect match.”? In the movie “See No Evil, Hear No Evil” Gene Wilder is deaf, and Richard Pryor is blind. They witness a murder, Gene saw it and Richard heard it but they had to combine their senses to save themselves from the killers attempts to stop them from testifying.
When a German bar installed in the urinals little cogwheels that start to rotate once you ‘hit’ them they found that not only were the toilets more hygienic but they saved money on cleaning, all by giving their customers amusement utilizing a bodily function. Some have even built in LEDs to produce a lightshow with sounds. Tell me that’s not an inducement to belly up to the bar to drink more beer! Free enterprise symbiosis par excellence.
Tom Sawyer got his fence whitewashed by his friends (and made them pay for the ‘privilege’) when he got them believing that the chore was a fun task that few could do. Wrote Mark Twain, “He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it -- namely, that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain“. Both parties got what they wanted but Tom got the ‘mostest’.
Consider the carpenter aiding the orthopedist in the placement of those artificial joints and limbs. Imagine elbow hinges with spring-like attachments that could absorb the impacts of making continual smashes without fear of getting tennis elbow. Or a cervical implant preventing head movement when putting on the golf course.
How about an artist linking with the IRS form writer? This would take some of the pain out while filling in a 1040 if it had a little color combined with icons, arrows, marginal hints, and a smiley face on the ‘Amount to be refunded’ line.
A chef working hand in hand with a cabinet maker and architect can save the home cook many steps, and food drippings, by the most efficient placement of appliance space, shelves, drawers, hooks, vents, etc.. Now, there’s thought for food!
What if your local cable and telephone provider charges were deducted from your pay check? And what if that payment was delayed, or credited, for the same amount of time spent trying to get them on the phone plus when the repair is made, every time there is an outage or dropped call?
Mutuality may not be the uppermost thought as we go about our living but we practice it several times a day…..every time we wash our hands.
Getting back to the lead example above: as an additional benefit that may accrue by having the former prostitutes aid the elderly in assisted living facilities - expenses in Viagra purchases should be substantially reduced.
END
Symbiosis for everyone
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
What to do? The problem Germany now faces is a fast aging population, the estimate in 2050 is one third of the population will be over 65 and close to ¾ of a million people will require some type of assisted living plus the facilities in which to accommodate them. Even with a high unemployment rate the openings for elder-care remain unanswered. Some relief was had in the mixing of the elderly with youth centers, vocational schools, and even tapping young men to work there in lieu of their mandatory military hitch. Still the demand exceeds supply so to help fill this gap a fresh solution is being explored now - retraining prostitutes for these positions. Since it was legalized there has been intense competition in the oldest profession and an abundance of ‘vendors’. Too much of that ‘supply’ coupled with no retirement or health plans led to more idle ladies of the night. That’s when someone saw the light…..the red one.
According to “US News & World Report” a pilot program to do just that has been started. The program has about 50 in it and according to the program director, "Prostitutes have already learned to get along with people, and they're usually very good listeners. Plus, they have no reservations about touching people's bodies." Another peripheral benefit was ….but I‘ll get to that later.
This type of relationship is similar to mutuality in symbiosis. That is when two or more species live and interact closely wherein both benefit. For example, the clown fish and the anemone where the fish feeds the poisonous anemone, the anemone protects the fish. Another is the tickbirds and the rhinoceros where the birds get dinner, a free ride, and protection and the rhinos get a companion who picks ticks off its back.
That relationship of contributing and receiving got me to thinking of other occasions where mutuality could be applied, both practical and theoretical, and realistic and whimsical. But instead of different species let's consider only human inter-relationships.
Remember Yenta the matchmaker in “Fiddler on the Roof” saying, “ With the way she looks and the way he sees, it’s a perfect match.”? In the movie “See No Evil, Hear No Evil” Gene Wilder is deaf, and Richard Pryor is blind. They witness a murder, Gene saw it and Richard heard it but they had to combine their senses to save themselves from the killers attempts to stop them from testifying.
When a German bar installed in the urinals little cogwheels that start to rotate once you ‘hit’ them they found that not only were the toilets more hygienic but they saved money on cleaning, all by giving their customers amusement utilizing a bodily function. Some have even built in LEDs to produce a lightshow with sounds. Tell me that’s not an inducement to belly up to the bar to drink more beer! Free enterprise symbiosis par excellence.
Tom Sawyer got his fence whitewashed by his friends (and made them pay for the ‘privilege’) when he got them believing that the chore was a fun task that few could do. Wrote Mark Twain, “He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it -- namely, that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain“. Both parties got what they wanted but Tom got the ‘mostest’.
Consider the carpenter aiding the orthopedist in the placement of those artificial joints and limbs. Imagine elbow hinges with spring-like attachments that could absorb the impacts of making continual smashes without fear of getting tennis elbow. Or a cervical implant preventing head movement when putting on the golf course.
How about an artist linking with the IRS form writer? This would take some of the pain out while filling in a 1040 if it had a little color combined with icons, arrows, marginal hints, and a smiley face on the ‘Amount to be refunded’ line.
A chef working hand in hand with a cabinet maker and architect can save the home cook many steps, and food drippings, by the most efficient placement of appliance space, shelves, drawers, hooks, vents, etc.. Now, there’s thought for food!
What if your local cable and telephone provider charges were deducted from your pay check? And what if that payment was delayed, or credited, for the same amount of time spent trying to get them on the phone plus when the repair is made, every time there is an outage or dropped call?
Mutuality may not be the uppermost thought as we go about our living but we practice it several times a day…..every time we wash our hands.
Getting back to the lead example above: as an additional benefit that may accrue by having the former prostitutes aid the elderly in assisted living facilities - expenses in Viagra purchases should be substantially reduced.
END
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
3/14/07
I’m ready for my close-up, boss
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
There was a time in America when all an employer had to do to hire an employee was to put a "HELP WANTED" sign visible on the street. In Boston in the mid 1800’s the first known private employment agency was established. They were crude by contemporary standards. They consisted of merely listing available labor and making these lists available to the employer. A small fee was charged to the applicant for registering and a larger fee if a job was accepted. Most jobs were in the blue-collar category. It was during World War I that employment agencies aided the government by finding, screening, and testing. The filing system was improved which led to placing people in government and in war plants. After the war, agencies did a remarkable job in relocating personnel into peacetime positions. During the Depression the government set up a network of tax supported employment agencies primarily for semi-skilled and unskilled workers while most employers still used private employment agencies for skilled, white-collar, and technical personnel. Most private agencies were applicant paid until the mid 1970’s when the employer paid fees started attracting the applicants who felt that their talents and skills were part of the employers obligations.
The main tool to open the door when applying for a new job had been the résumé. The one or two page sheet listing objective, education, experience, and qualifications. Statistically for every 200 résumé's received by the average employer only one interview is granted. The résumé that took days to get ‘just right’ will be quickly scanned, rather than read, and evaluated in ten to 20 seconds. If the first impression fails to impress a prospective employer to read further, it goes into the circular file.
Fast forward to the age of the Internet. The ink on paper is being replaced by the pixel on the screen. For the past 15 years job seekers have been posting their résumés on numerous Internet sites. The latest tweak is the video résumé, or as I call it, the vidomé. Go to You Tube, there you can view two to five minute uploaded vidomés from candidates seeking interviews, over 1500 of them. There are other sites that feature potential workplaces and another that uses webcams to pose real-time interview questions to candidates ( they prep the candidate, i.e., be well groomed, dress appropriately, do not chew gum or smoke).
In ‘the old days’ (pre-pixels) companies and recruiters would not accept résumés that had photos attached because of potential law suits. Many résumés that were submitted omitted the persons name by substituting a numeric ID, citing instances that bias might be shown by favoring certain racial sounding names.
Human resources departments are now in a quandary. Will viewing a vidomé invite a lawsuit by the videoed candidate who feels they were disqualified because of age, race, disability, or gender? Another wrinkle is that paper and typing words on it is available to everyone, not so the computer and web cam, and this may open the door for additional litigation .
As more and more applicants utilize this mode of presentation the more sophisticated they will become and the candidate who gets the in-person interview may not be the most qualified but the one who has a touch of a Steven Spielberg. A vidomé may have poor lighting or is unsteady which is the equivalent of having a typo on the printed résumé. A recent survey listed the responses from 150 senior executives at the nation’s 1,000 largest companies. Executives were asked "How many typos in a résumé does it take for you to decide not to consider a job candidate for a position with your company?" Their responses: one typo, 47 percent; two typos, 37 percent; four or more typos, 6 percent; and no answer, 3 percent. So extreme attention to detail is a must for all job seekers.
In the long run it will be the employers who will determine if vidomés are a viable avenue for the job seeker. Time to review any form of solicitation being a major factor. It is a rare human resource person who will spent five minutes studying a single video when he/she could have evaluated 15 to 20 in that same time. Though the vidomé is a small current fad I believe paper over pixel will win just like paper over rock. And have you noticed a complete turn-around to the ‘old days’ with billboards and window signs almost pleading "NOW HIRING"? Who knows, the next innovative form may be a return to sandwich signs.
END
I’m ready for my close-up, boss
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
There was a time in America when all an employer had to do to hire an employee was to put a "HELP WANTED" sign visible on the street. In Boston in the mid 1800’s the first known private employment agency was established. They were crude by contemporary standards. They consisted of merely listing available labor and making these lists available to the employer. A small fee was charged to the applicant for registering and a larger fee if a job was accepted. Most jobs were in the blue-collar category. It was during World War I that employment agencies aided the government by finding, screening, and testing. The filing system was improved which led to placing people in government and in war plants. After the war, agencies did a remarkable job in relocating personnel into peacetime positions. During the Depression the government set up a network of tax supported employment agencies primarily for semi-skilled and unskilled workers while most employers still used private employment agencies for skilled, white-collar, and technical personnel. Most private agencies were applicant paid until the mid 1970’s when the employer paid fees started attracting the applicants who felt that their talents and skills were part of the employers obligations.
The main tool to open the door when applying for a new job had been the résumé. The one or two page sheet listing objective, education, experience, and qualifications. Statistically for every 200 résumé's received by the average employer only one interview is granted. The résumé that took days to get ‘just right’ will be quickly scanned, rather than read, and evaluated in ten to 20 seconds. If the first impression fails to impress a prospective employer to read further, it goes into the circular file.
Fast forward to the age of the Internet. The ink on paper is being replaced by the pixel on the screen. For the past 15 years job seekers have been posting their résumés on numerous Internet sites. The latest tweak is the video résumé, or as I call it, the vidomé. Go to You Tube, there you can view two to five minute uploaded vidomés from candidates seeking interviews, over 1500 of them. There are other sites that feature potential workplaces and another that uses webcams to pose real-time interview questions to candidates ( they prep the candidate, i.e., be well groomed, dress appropriately, do not chew gum or smoke).
In ‘the old days’ (pre-pixels) companies and recruiters would not accept résumés that had photos attached because of potential law suits. Many résumés that were submitted omitted the persons name by substituting a numeric ID, citing instances that bias might be shown by favoring certain racial sounding names.
Human resources departments are now in a quandary. Will viewing a vidomé invite a lawsuit by the videoed candidate who feels they were disqualified because of age, race, disability, or gender? Another wrinkle is that paper and typing words on it is available to everyone, not so the computer and web cam, and this may open the door for additional litigation .
As more and more applicants utilize this mode of presentation the more sophisticated they will become and the candidate who gets the in-person interview may not be the most qualified but the one who has a touch of a Steven Spielberg. A vidomé may have poor lighting or is unsteady which is the equivalent of having a typo on the printed résumé. A recent survey listed the responses from 150 senior executives at the nation’s 1,000 largest companies. Executives were asked "How many typos in a résumé does it take for you to decide not to consider a job candidate for a position with your company?" Their responses: one typo, 47 percent; two typos, 37 percent; four or more typos, 6 percent; and no answer, 3 percent. So extreme attention to detail is a must for all job seekers.
In the long run it will be the employers who will determine if vidomés are a viable avenue for the job seeker. Time to review any form of solicitation being a major factor. It is a rare human resource person who will spent five minutes studying a single video when he/she could have evaluated 15 to 20 in that same time. Though the vidomé is a small current fad I believe paper over pixel will win just like paper over rock. And have you noticed a complete turn-around to the ‘old days’ with billboards and window signs almost pleading "NOW HIRING"? Who knows, the next innovative form may be a return to sandwich signs.
END
Thursday, March 01, 2007
2/28/07
Of pride and presidents
Tri-O's
Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
Last week was Presidents Day, the third Monday of February. George Washington’s Birthday is February 22 and Abraham Lincoln’s is the 12th. The original intent of the federal holiday was to honor both Washington and Lincoln, but when signed into law in 1968 only Washington's Birthday was moved and old Abe was left dateless, honestly. Some states have renamed the day "Washington and Lincoln Day" but here in Alabama, since 2002, the third Monday in February commemorates the birthdays of both George Washington and Thomas Jefferson (who was born on April 13). So ‘goodbye’ Abe and ‘hello’ Tom. This is not to be viewed as a slight to our visiting snowbirds but more of defining the state motto: Audemus jura nostra defendere (We Dare Defend Our Rights), or so it seems.
Also in keeping with a presidents theme U.S. News & World Report in their Februarys.26th edition had a cover story on “America’s worst presidents”. For its’ list (excluding the current commander-in-chief), they “used the bottom 10 rankings on five major scholarly polls”. The least effective is James Buchanan, followed in order by Warren G. Harding, Andrew Johnson, Franklin Pierce, Millard Fillmore, John Tyler, Ulysses S. Grant, William Harrison, Herbert Hoover tied with Richard Nixon, and Zachary Taylor. How would you like to see their faces chiseled on the peaks of ole Rocky Top?
The general consensus of the scholars in their assessment of the presidential malfunctioners “was passivity or inaction in the face of great historical challenges” or if their activism was considered “misplaced“. What is called for is a delicate balance of appropriate actions then act decisively, otherwise it’s “Damned if I do and damned if I don't”. I'll have to run that thought by Homer Simpson.
Though the presidential election is over a year and a half away there are so many hats in the ring already it looks like a milliner convention. Some of the contenders have common names, I.e., Joe (Biden), John (Edwards and McCain), and Jim (Gilmore) and some not so usual, I.e., Barack (Obama), Newt (Gingrich), Duncan (Hunter), Mitt (Romney), Hillary (Clinton). And if Tim Smucker, Chairman and Co-CEO of Smucker’s became a candidate a shoe-in combination name would be Duncan Obama Mitt Smucker which sounds like a German dessert with fruit topping and with a name like that he'll have to be good.
If you thought the recent political ads were negative and nasty they don't hold a hanging Chad to what went on in the presidential campaign of 1800 and its aftermath. When Jefferson was Vice-president he paid, via an employee, to James Callender, a newspaper writer, to publish that President John Adams was loyal to the English crown and a pawn to British interests. Jefferson could not do it himself for it would violate the Sedition Act of 1798, which was aimed at crushing freedom of speech and repressing political opposition. Adams countered that if Jefferson were elected president, Americans would "see your dwellings in flames" and "female chastity violated."
Callender was convicted and jailed. After the election he was pardoned by Jefferson but when he was denied the job of a postmaster he printed that Jefferson had "for many years past kept, as his concubine, one of his own slaves," Sally Hemings. Learning of this, Abigail Adams, wife of the maligned former President Adams, wrote Jefferson “the serpent you cherished and warmed, bit the hand that nourished him.”
According to American Heritage , “By modern standards Jefferson’s active role in promoting anti-Adams propaganda and his complicity in leaking information …… were impeachable offenses that verged on treason.”
Callender also publicized an affair that Treasurer Secretary Alexander Hamilton had with the wife of a Treasury clerk and that Hamilton was being investigated about shady financial dealings. He was one of the first to argue that the public had the right to know the moral character of those elected.
Hamilton admitted to the affair but nothing else. He later became the intervening force on Jefferson's behalf when Jefferson tied with Aaron Burr for the presidency. At that time the candidate receiving the greatest number of electoral votes would become president The person receiving the second-highest number would become vice president. Not a fan of Jefferson, Hamilton thought him the lesser of two evils. The escalated animosity between Hamilton and Burr ended in a duel; Hamilton shot his pistol into the air and Burr lodged his bullet in Hamilton’s midsection inflicting a mortal wound.
The lady, Maria Reynolds, Hamilton’s paramour, is a figure that weaves enigmatically among some of the named people. When Callender was to testify in a libel suit he was suspiciously found drowned in three feet of water. Ironically it was Hamilton as defense attorney who had summoned Callender and it was Maria who submitted Jefferson’s letters to Callender.
For a full version of theses presidential pranks read William Safire’s novelization of all the facts in Scandalmonger.
END
Of pride and presidents
Tri-O's
Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
Last week was Presidents Day, the third Monday of February. George Washington’s Birthday is February 22 and Abraham Lincoln’s is the 12th. The original intent of the federal holiday was to honor both Washington and Lincoln, but when signed into law in 1968 only Washington's Birthday was moved and old Abe was left dateless, honestly. Some states have renamed the day "Washington and Lincoln Day" but here in Alabama, since 2002, the third Monday in February commemorates the birthdays of both George Washington and Thomas Jefferson (who was born on April 13). So ‘goodbye’ Abe and ‘hello’ Tom. This is not to be viewed as a slight to our visiting snowbirds but more of defining the state motto: Audemus jura nostra defendere (We Dare Defend Our Rights), or so it seems.
Also in keeping with a presidents theme U.S. News & World Report in their Februarys.26th edition had a cover story on “America’s worst presidents”. For its’ list (excluding the current commander-in-chief), they “used the bottom 10 rankings on five major scholarly polls”. The least effective is James Buchanan, followed in order by Warren G. Harding, Andrew Johnson, Franklin Pierce, Millard Fillmore, John Tyler, Ulysses S. Grant, William Harrison, Herbert Hoover tied with Richard Nixon, and Zachary Taylor. How would you like to see their faces chiseled on the peaks of ole Rocky Top?
The general consensus of the scholars in their assessment of the presidential malfunctioners “was passivity or inaction in the face of great historical challenges” or if their activism was considered “misplaced“. What is called for is a delicate balance of appropriate actions then act decisively, otherwise it’s “Damned if I do and damned if I don't”. I'll have to run that thought by Homer Simpson.
Though the presidential election is over a year and a half away there are so many hats in the ring already it looks like a milliner convention. Some of the contenders have common names, I.e., Joe (Biden), John (Edwards and McCain), and Jim (Gilmore) and some not so usual, I.e., Barack (Obama), Newt (Gingrich), Duncan (Hunter), Mitt (Romney), Hillary (Clinton). And if Tim Smucker, Chairman and Co-CEO of Smucker’s became a candidate a shoe-in combination name would be Duncan Obama Mitt Smucker which sounds like a German dessert with fruit topping and with a name like that he'll have to be good.
If you thought the recent political ads were negative and nasty they don't hold a hanging Chad to what went on in the presidential campaign of 1800 and its aftermath. When Jefferson was Vice-president he paid, via an employee, to James Callender, a newspaper writer, to publish that President John Adams was loyal to the English crown and a pawn to British interests. Jefferson could not do it himself for it would violate the Sedition Act of 1798, which was aimed at crushing freedom of speech and repressing political opposition. Adams countered that if Jefferson were elected president, Americans would "see your dwellings in flames" and "female chastity violated."
Callender was convicted and jailed. After the election he was pardoned by Jefferson but when he was denied the job of a postmaster he printed that Jefferson had "for many years past kept, as his concubine, one of his own slaves," Sally Hemings. Learning of this, Abigail Adams, wife of the maligned former President Adams, wrote Jefferson “the serpent you cherished and warmed, bit the hand that nourished him.”
According to American Heritage , “By modern standards Jefferson’s active role in promoting anti-Adams propaganda and his complicity in leaking information …… were impeachable offenses that verged on treason.”
Callender also publicized an affair that Treasurer Secretary Alexander Hamilton had with the wife of a Treasury clerk and that Hamilton was being investigated about shady financial dealings. He was one of the first to argue that the public had the right to know the moral character of those elected.
Hamilton admitted to the affair but nothing else. He later became the intervening force on Jefferson's behalf when Jefferson tied with Aaron Burr for the presidency. At that time the candidate receiving the greatest number of electoral votes would become president The person receiving the second-highest number would become vice president. Not a fan of Jefferson, Hamilton thought him the lesser of two evils. The escalated animosity between Hamilton and Burr ended in a duel; Hamilton shot his pistol into the air and Burr lodged his bullet in Hamilton’s midsection inflicting a mortal wound.
The lady, Maria Reynolds, Hamilton’s paramour, is a figure that weaves enigmatically among some of the named people. When Callender was to testify in a libel suit he was suspiciously found drowned in three feet of water. Ironically it was Hamilton as defense attorney who had summoned Callender and it was Maria who submitted Jefferson’s letters to Callender.
For a full version of theses presidential pranks read William Safire’s novelization of all the facts in Scandalmonger.
END
Thursday, February 15, 2007
2/14/07
Heart-felt V-Day tales
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
V for Verity (your choice)
Here we are again on this day of hearts and flowers in celebration of St. Valentine. Inquiring minds may ask: who was this person and why does this day inspire approximately 188 million cards to be exchanged (not counting kids’ classroom card swapping), making Valentine’s Day the second largest date for giving greeting cards along with helping the U.S. Postal Service (as almost 50% are hand delivered)?
One legend has it that Valentine was a priest in third century Rome when Emperor Claudius II ruled. Claudius reasoned that single men fought harder in combat than those with wives and families, so he outlawed marriage for young men. One would assume that the brides-to-be were hopping mad, to say nothing of the caterers, and so was Valentine, who, to defy this injustice, continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When his actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.
Another version has Valentine killed for attempting to help Christians escape barbaric Roman prisons where they were treated harshly. He wanted to exchange the lash with love.
Yet a different account has Valentine sending the first 'valentine' greeting himself. It was said that Valentine, while in prison, fell in love with the young girl (speculation has it that it was the jailor's daughter) who visited him during his confinement. His final letter to her, before he was dispatched to meet his fellow saints, was signed 'From your Valentine'
Take your choice but the occasion accentuates his charismatic personality as a compassionate, gallant, and romantic figure. So when you present or are the recipient of sweets, flowers, and other gifts remember to be thankful for St. Val …but no matter how appreciative you may be, it will not come close to those of Mr. Hallmarks’.
V for Valor
Apropos to this red letter day there is this touching story of two kindred souls who were born in the same town just a few miles apart. One grew up in a family that spared no expense when it came to his well being and toys. The other had a meager start in life and she learned to make do with what was presented her. They first met in a park when they were young. As they romped about, a bond was established unbeknown to them. Time passed, he went to school, learned a lot, then put all this training to work; whereas she was home schooled, very protected and sheltered. Although they lived only several miles apart they did not meet again until years later.
It was at a medical facility. He was there to get his shots when she strolled in for a check-up. They first gazed at each other and recognition dawned slowly. Ted remembered where they had met but it took Sara a little longer. Much time had passed since they had last been together and neither wanted that to happen again. Each hoped that they would get the opportunity to meet soon again. Destiny was to play a hand as you will see.
Ted was doing work for the police department, and she was a domestic.
One chilly afternoon there was a terrible explosion in the part of town where Sara lived. A gas line had ruptured, a spark from an electric motor ignited it. Several homes caught the brunt. They were quickly reduced to rubble. The fire fighters and police emergency units were called. The fire was put out in short order but beneath the debris some residents were trapped. Moans and cries for help were given swift attention.
After several hours it all the people known to have been living in the area were accounted for. Everyone except Sara.
The police unit was there going over the devastation, Ted among them. Hopes were getting slimmer by the minute. The cold was giving way to sleet making the search for survivors even more treacherous. They were about to call a halt but Ted persisted in his exploring every inch of the area despite fatigue and deteriorating weather.
It was he who heard that ever so feeble cry from an exhausted throat. Ted started digging with an intensity not witnessed before . Others seeing his desperation quickly started to help him. The sounds were now more distinct as the house innards were peeled away. In a few moments Sara was seen then lifted out of the place where she had been trapped. She looked over her shoulder saw Ted. She knew instinctively that it was he who had found her. In a wail like tone, with an intense stare she bellowed “ ME OWW” . Those there swear it sounded like “Thank you”. Meanwhile Ted just pawed the ground in a John Wayne stance.
Ted was awarded K-9 of the Year on Valentine’s Day. Sara was in attendance.
Note to my BH (Better Half)--Happy Valentine’s Day
END
Heart-felt V-Day tales
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
V for Verity (your choice)
Here we are again on this day of hearts and flowers in celebration of St. Valentine. Inquiring minds may ask: who was this person and why does this day inspire approximately 188 million cards to be exchanged (not counting kids’ classroom card swapping), making Valentine’s Day the second largest date for giving greeting cards along with helping the U.S. Postal Service (as almost 50% are hand delivered)?
One legend has it that Valentine was a priest in third century Rome when Emperor Claudius II ruled. Claudius reasoned that single men fought harder in combat than those with wives and families, so he outlawed marriage for young men. One would assume that the brides-to-be were hopping mad, to say nothing of the caterers, and so was Valentine, who, to defy this injustice, continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When his actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.
Another version has Valentine killed for attempting to help Christians escape barbaric Roman prisons where they were treated harshly. He wanted to exchange the lash with love.
Yet a different account has Valentine sending the first 'valentine' greeting himself. It was said that Valentine, while in prison, fell in love with the young girl (speculation has it that it was the jailor's daughter) who visited him during his confinement. His final letter to her, before he was dispatched to meet his fellow saints, was signed 'From your Valentine'
Take your choice but the occasion accentuates his charismatic personality as a compassionate, gallant, and romantic figure. So when you present or are the recipient of sweets, flowers, and other gifts remember to be thankful for St. Val …but no matter how appreciative you may be, it will not come close to those of Mr. Hallmarks’.
V for Valor
Apropos to this red letter day there is this touching story of two kindred souls who were born in the same town just a few miles apart. One grew up in a family that spared no expense when it came to his well being and toys. The other had a meager start in life and she learned to make do with what was presented her. They first met in a park when they were young. As they romped about, a bond was established unbeknown to them. Time passed, he went to school, learned a lot, then put all this training to work; whereas she was home schooled, very protected and sheltered. Although they lived only several miles apart they did not meet again until years later.
It was at a medical facility. He was there to get his shots when she strolled in for a check-up. They first gazed at each other and recognition dawned slowly. Ted remembered where they had met but it took Sara a little longer. Much time had passed since they had last been together and neither wanted that to happen again. Each hoped that they would get the opportunity to meet soon again. Destiny was to play a hand as you will see.
Ted was doing work for the police department, and she was a domestic.
One chilly afternoon there was a terrible explosion in the part of town where Sara lived. A gas line had ruptured, a spark from an electric motor ignited it. Several homes caught the brunt. They were quickly reduced to rubble. The fire fighters and police emergency units were called. The fire was put out in short order but beneath the debris some residents were trapped. Moans and cries for help were given swift attention.
After several hours it all the people known to have been living in the area were accounted for. Everyone except Sara.
The police unit was there going over the devastation, Ted among them. Hopes were getting slimmer by the minute. The cold was giving way to sleet making the search for survivors even more treacherous. They were about to call a halt but Ted persisted in his exploring every inch of the area despite fatigue and deteriorating weather.
It was he who heard that ever so feeble cry from an exhausted throat. Ted started digging with an intensity not witnessed before . Others seeing his desperation quickly started to help him. The sounds were now more distinct as the house innards were peeled away. In a few moments Sara was seen then lifted out of the place where she had been trapped. She looked over her shoulder saw Ted. She knew instinctively that it was he who had found her. In a wail like tone, with an intense stare she bellowed “ ME OWW” . Those there swear it sounded like “Thank you”. Meanwhile Ted just pawed the ground in a John Wayne stance.
Ted was awarded K-9 of the Year on Valentine’s Day. Sara was in attendance.
Note to my BH (Better Half)--Happy Valentine’s Day
END
Sunday, February 04, 2007
1/31/07
Déjà vu, times two
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
Some see the world in a crystal ball, others in tea leaves or tarot cards. I recently felt immersed in a similar situation but mine happened over a plastic encased menu. The realization that I was part of the scenario came to me slowly as I observed and later became aware of what was taking place in my immediate surroundings. It happened last week as I sat alone in a restaurant , a notch above the fast food variety, having lunch after concluding some personal business in Pensacola. My seat faced the entrance where incoming diners waited to be seated, to the right was the cash register where exiting customers paid their dining bill. From this vantage point comings and goings became a passing parade.
The entire scene was evolving into something familiar but I could not put my finger on it at the time. Let me tell you what was happening within this limited sphere of my booth and you'll better understand this seeming déjà vu.
Waiting for the hostess to seat them was a young couple with an infant, the sleeping child was Oriental, not so the assumed parents. Behind them were three teen-age girls giggling over something. Making their way haltingly to the register was an elderly man and woman, both pushed walkers in front of them and each was accompanied by a caregiver whom I later saw assist them into a car. There at table to my left were grandparents discussing, in elevated voices of the hard of hearing, what to give their grandchild for her birthday as they sipped their milkshakes. A very obviously pregnant woman was trying to get the attention of a server, she wanted additional pickles for her sandwich. Waiting in the register line were three men in hard hats each a different ethnicity. The servers were mostly college students who zipped between tables with the energy that is only in my memory. The couple with the infant was shown to a table that a young man and woman just vacated, these two were holding hands and smiling at each other as they lined up behind the hard hats.
The whole scene to me became a microcosm of Life itself. Here was the whole gamut, the entire cycle surrounding me, with the exception of it’s conception and demise.
Where had I experienced this feeling before? The file cabinet of memory slowly opened to reveal two instances where the person becomes the spectator, removed from the actual events but absorbing the ambiance.
One was in the work of Christopher Isherwood who wrote “The Berlin Stories” which was made into a play in 1951 and a film in 1955 called “I Am A Camera” and later into the 1972 musical “Cabaret”. In it Isherwood says, “I am a camera with its shutter open, quite passive, recording, not thinking.” He gave us a snapshot of a time and place. Although his ‘camera’ focused on Berlin in the early 1930’s the sight from my viewfinder, by comparison, was indeed more prosaic because of setting and circumstance.
The second reminder was from a 1948 movie adapted from a Pulitzer prize play by William Saroyan, “The Time of Your Life”. In it the main character (played by James Cagney) sits in a dilapidated bar and observes the colorful patrons in their eccentricities. Cagney was not only was a observer but also a participant in the happenings which changed the course of the characters lives, whereas mine was strictly a benign awareness of the proximate life stages.
There was a keen sense of discovery and awe as a witness to the sequence of human transience, here, alone. “The world may be your oyster” to paraphrase the old idiom but my revelation came while waiting for a cheeseburger, fries, and hold the onion.
END
Déjà vu, times two
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
Some see the world in a crystal ball, others in tea leaves or tarot cards. I recently felt immersed in a similar situation but mine happened over a plastic encased menu. The realization that I was part of the scenario came to me slowly as I observed and later became aware of what was taking place in my immediate surroundings. It happened last week as I sat alone in a restaurant , a notch above the fast food variety, having lunch after concluding some personal business in Pensacola. My seat faced the entrance where incoming diners waited to be seated, to the right was the cash register where exiting customers paid their dining bill. From this vantage point comings and goings became a passing parade.
The entire scene was evolving into something familiar but I could not put my finger on it at the time. Let me tell you what was happening within this limited sphere of my booth and you'll better understand this seeming déjà vu.
Waiting for the hostess to seat them was a young couple with an infant, the sleeping child was Oriental, not so the assumed parents. Behind them were three teen-age girls giggling over something. Making their way haltingly to the register was an elderly man and woman, both pushed walkers in front of them and each was accompanied by a caregiver whom I later saw assist them into a car. There at table to my left were grandparents discussing, in elevated voices of the hard of hearing, what to give their grandchild for her birthday as they sipped their milkshakes. A very obviously pregnant woman was trying to get the attention of a server, she wanted additional pickles for her sandwich. Waiting in the register line were three men in hard hats each a different ethnicity. The servers were mostly college students who zipped between tables with the energy that is only in my memory. The couple with the infant was shown to a table that a young man and woman just vacated, these two were holding hands and smiling at each other as they lined up behind the hard hats.
The whole scene to me became a microcosm of Life itself. Here was the whole gamut, the entire cycle surrounding me, with the exception of it’s conception and demise.
Where had I experienced this feeling before? The file cabinet of memory slowly opened to reveal two instances where the person becomes the spectator, removed from the actual events but absorbing the ambiance.
One was in the work of Christopher Isherwood who wrote “The Berlin Stories” which was made into a play in 1951 and a film in 1955 called “I Am A Camera” and later into the 1972 musical “Cabaret”. In it Isherwood says, “I am a camera with its shutter open, quite passive, recording, not thinking.” He gave us a snapshot of a time and place. Although his ‘camera’ focused on Berlin in the early 1930’s the sight from my viewfinder, by comparison, was indeed more prosaic because of setting and circumstance.
The second reminder was from a 1948 movie adapted from a Pulitzer prize play by William Saroyan, “The Time of Your Life”. In it the main character (played by James Cagney) sits in a dilapidated bar and observes the colorful patrons in their eccentricities. Cagney was not only was a observer but also a participant in the happenings which changed the course of the characters lives, whereas mine was strictly a benign awareness of the proximate life stages.
There was a keen sense of discovery and awe as a witness to the sequence of human transience, here, alone. “The world may be your oyster” to paraphrase the old idiom but my revelation came while waiting for a cheeseburger, fries, and hold the onion.
END
Friday, January 19, 2007
1/17/07
Baby, it's cold outside - or is it?
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
Baby, it's cold outside - or is it?
When Johnny Carson hosted the Tonight Show he sometimes mentioned the weather in Los Angeles when it was unusual. He would start with , “It was very cold in L.A. today….” And before he continued the audience would shout out as one voice, “HOW COLD WAS IT?” Then Johnny would answer, "It was so cold today, a cab driver was saying something to a pedestrian and his middle finger froze."
I was reminded of this recently when my wife was complaining about the “freezing” weather and also something about having to walk the dogs, the combination of which leads to happy frisky walkees and an irritated chilled walker. And this was with temps in the mid 40’s!
“When I was a kid we would consider weather like this to be tropical. And what‘s more in the really frigid times we used to go fishing”, I said. “Sure”, she demurred with the hint of a smirk. “It’s true. Let me tell you.” And I continued:
It’s the dead of winter, bundled against cold and sometimes whipping cold weather wearing at least two of everything , what was later called “layering”, ……underwear, pants, sweaters socks, hats that rolled down to cover our ears,…..Sy and I went frost fishing. We were about 12 or 13. For this “fishing” all you needed was a burlap sack, papa’s boots stuffed with newspaper both for isolation and to fill the space for our smaller feet , and gloves (those brown cotton ones, we wore 2 pair of them also) that usually got soaked in short order. We would walk along the shore line on the Rockaway Beach peninsula in New York and pick up the “frost” fish ( I learned later they are called whitings or silver hake) which had been tossed onto the beach by the surf . They would be flash frozen. Most were stiff but many were still wriggling trying to get back to the ocean on the next wave when we picked them up. The moon reflected off their silver bellies and it was a beautiful sight to see the flashing shimmering light of this manna from the sea - almost like the brilliance of fireflies on summer nights. On moonless nights we used flash lights to reveal the silver of the beached fish. We had to time it so that we had a full 40 -50 lb. sack when we returned to our starting point. When there were other frost fishers on the shore it was a competition to see who got to the fish first. If I concentrate I can still feel the sting of frigid air with each inhalation and see the heavy smoke on exhale.
After we lugged our bounty home our mothers’ cleaned what our family was to eat, there were no freezers at that time (in fact a wooden crate from the “fruit store”, with a shelf in the center that formerly held oranges, was nailed to the outside of the kitchen window and freezing temperatures would keep frozen whatever was put in it during the cold months). The ice box was just that. The majority of the fish we sold by going door to door in the neighborhood for 5 cents, and 10 cents for the larger ones. We always liked to go fishing Thursday night so we could sell the fish to our Catholic neighbors for their Friday suppers. Many depended on us for those fresh beauties and the affordable price.
During the war years, WW2, the beach was patrolled by the Coast Guard so that no spy could signal Nazi U-boats which were thought to be off the Atlantic coast. Naturally Sy and I sneaked onto the beach, no war was going to keep us off our appointed frost fishing grounds. We went on moonless nights too (after all we had the acute vision of the young). “Fishing” was usually great but on several occasions the Coast Guard patrol picked us up and transported us in their Jeep back to the boardwalk where we started, with an admonition to go home and not to do it again. We were fortunate in that it was different patrol guards that picked us up on our subsequent fishing expeditions.
Frost fishing today is a thing of the past, as I understand, as the commercial fishing fleets have so depopulated the ocean of these species and they no longer feed close to shore where the waves can toss them onto the beach.
After relating this to my wife she is still of the mind that 1. It is still “freezing” outside. 2. The dogs still have to be walked. AND 3. “Because you were foolish enough to suffer the cold voluntarily doesn't mean I have to …..and besides there are no fish on the route we take.”
END
Baby, it's cold outside - or is it?
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
Baby, it's cold outside - or is it?
When Johnny Carson hosted the Tonight Show he sometimes mentioned the weather in Los Angeles when it was unusual. He would start with , “It was very cold in L.A. today….” And before he continued the audience would shout out as one voice, “HOW COLD WAS IT?” Then Johnny would answer, "It was so cold today, a cab driver was saying something to a pedestrian and his middle finger froze."
I was reminded of this recently when my wife was complaining about the “freezing” weather and also something about having to walk the dogs, the combination of which leads to happy frisky walkees and an irritated chilled walker. And this was with temps in the mid 40’s!
“When I was a kid we would consider weather like this to be tropical. And what‘s more in the really frigid times we used to go fishing”, I said. “Sure”, she demurred with the hint of a smirk. “It’s true. Let me tell you.” And I continued:
It’s the dead of winter, bundled against cold and sometimes whipping cold weather wearing at least two of everything , what was later called “layering”, ……underwear, pants, sweaters socks, hats that rolled down to cover our ears,…..Sy and I went frost fishing. We were about 12 or 13. For this “fishing” all you needed was a burlap sack, papa’s boots stuffed with newspaper both for isolation and to fill the space for our smaller feet , and gloves (those brown cotton ones, we wore 2 pair of them also) that usually got soaked in short order. We would walk along the shore line on the Rockaway Beach peninsula in New York and pick up the “frost” fish ( I learned later they are called whitings or silver hake) which had been tossed onto the beach by the surf . They would be flash frozen. Most were stiff but many were still wriggling trying to get back to the ocean on the next wave when we picked them up. The moon reflected off their silver bellies and it was a beautiful sight to see the flashing shimmering light of this manna from the sea - almost like the brilliance of fireflies on summer nights. On moonless nights we used flash lights to reveal the silver of the beached fish. We had to time it so that we had a full 40 -50 lb. sack when we returned to our starting point. When there were other frost fishers on the shore it was a competition to see who got to the fish first. If I concentrate I can still feel the sting of frigid air with each inhalation and see the heavy smoke on exhale.
After we lugged our bounty home our mothers’ cleaned what our family was to eat, there were no freezers at that time (in fact a wooden crate from the “fruit store”, with a shelf in the center that formerly held oranges, was nailed to the outside of the kitchen window and freezing temperatures would keep frozen whatever was put in it during the cold months). The ice box was just that. The majority of the fish we sold by going door to door in the neighborhood for 5 cents, and 10 cents for the larger ones. We always liked to go fishing Thursday night so we could sell the fish to our Catholic neighbors for their Friday suppers. Many depended on us for those fresh beauties and the affordable price.
During the war years, WW2, the beach was patrolled by the Coast Guard so that no spy could signal Nazi U-boats which were thought to be off the Atlantic coast. Naturally Sy and I sneaked onto the beach, no war was going to keep us off our appointed frost fishing grounds. We went on moonless nights too (after all we had the acute vision of the young). “Fishing” was usually great but on several occasions the Coast Guard patrol picked us up and transported us in their Jeep back to the boardwalk where we started, with an admonition to go home and not to do it again. We were fortunate in that it was different patrol guards that picked us up on our subsequent fishing expeditions.
Frost fishing today is a thing of the past, as I understand, as the commercial fishing fleets have so depopulated the ocean of these species and they no longer feed close to shore where the waves can toss them onto the beach.
After relating this to my wife she is still of the mind that 1. It is still “freezing” outside. 2. The dogs still have to be walked. AND 3. “Because you were foolish enough to suffer the cold voluntarily doesn't mean I have to …..and besides there are no fish on the route we take.”
END
Sunday, January 07, 2007
1/6/07
2006 News that wasn't
Tri--O's
Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
It’s that time of year again when there are a lot of Top Ten listings of highlighted events of the past year. We all know, and are reminded once more, of the major happenings both here and around the world. But here at Tri--O’s we dig deeper than the front page headlines and point out items that may have been overlooked on page 19A, below the fold. These too have a place in the history that was, but they were not given the large print reporting. Here goes:
“Is this seat taken?”, he asked pointing to the vacant chair next to her. She then went into a tirade and threatened to kill him. This by itself would be ludicrous but it happened to a man while attending an anger management group in Indiana. Good thing he asked before sitting, otherwise she might have acted without giving him warning and just imagine if he had asked for her phone number! Ka-Pow!! One would safely surmise that she is single and lives alone with a pet gargoyle.
Then there was this guy with two prosthetic legs exiting a Chicago lounge after having one too many who offered to give a ride home to a deaf man whose speech he couldn't understand. After many miles and seemingly not getting any closer to the deaf man’s home the driver attempted to drop the man off at a county airport. They were “debating”, as best they could, the situation outside of the car whereupon the frustrated hearing impaired man knocked down the handicapped driver. Someone called 911. Police came. The officer wrote on his note to the hitter that he was under arrest for battery and arrested the hitee on a DUI. The driver might have appealed the charge, but personally I don't think he had a leg to stand on.
Thousands of wild parrots are roosting in Pomona Valley in Southern Calif.. These birds are native to tropical northeast Mexico and may be here illegally but here they nest nevertheless. The residents are complaining that they are loud and make for sleepless nights. Add to the fact that they live for 30-40 years and you have a plot right out of Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds”. I guess no one in town dare ask, “Polly want a cracker?” for fear of being pecked to death.
It’s winter in Maine and yet the lakes and ponds on Bar Harbor remained virtually ice-free through December, which is highly unusual. Is Al Gore right about the theory of global warming? Or is it that the rain in Maine stayed mainly as the rain?
The lighted Christmas display in Kenosha, Wis, spelled out “Melissa will you marry me?”. It was the unique proposal that Brian knew would get Melissa to say “Yes”, and it worked. But it is rumored that good old innovative Santa had used a similar device to get Mrs. Claus’ acquiescence many years ago, before the advent of electric lights. Except he spelled out his request with reindeer droppings in the snow.
The man was just trying to be friendly to the panda in the Beijing zoo but the alcohol on his breath may have triggered GuGu to bite him on the leg when he jumped the enclosure and startled the animal awake. The would-be petter then bit the panda on the fuzzy back . Gu Gu countered by biting his other leg. Call it a draw as the zoo keeper ended the bout by spraying water on the panda. A zoo spokeswoman affirmed Gu Gu’s health and said they would not press charges. Which begs the question: could the offender have been charged with pandering and the zoo thus be given a black eye?
We look forward to more zany news in 2007. Happy New Year.
Three word result
Several weeks ago we reported on an NPR survey which asked : How would you describe America in three words? We requested reader three word input. Responses came from Florida to Alaska, thank you for taking the time to answer. Bear in mind that no statistical accuracy is claimed. The results:
Free (3) proud (2) beautiful (2) naive (2) . One for each of the following:
Self absorbed - self righteous - hypocritical - innovative - generous - humorous - happy- over indulgent - diverse - economically imbalanced - decent -courageous - enterprising - opportunity - stability- opportunistic- indifferent- misdirected - apathetic - misinformed - greedy - fabulous - blessed - endangered - corrupt- disenchanted
Some sent 3 word phrases: country of freedom - best there is - my own country - the very best - speak my mind - full of promise . And one reader contributed oxymoron: individual rights .
Which all goes to show what a free, proud, and beautifully naive people we are. God bless us, everyone.
END
2006 News that wasn't
Tri--O's
Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
It’s that time of year again when there are a lot of Top Ten listings of highlighted events of the past year. We all know, and are reminded once more, of the major happenings both here and around the world. But here at Tri--O’s we dig deeper than the front page headlines and point out items that may have been overlooked on page 19A, below the fold. These too have a place in the history that was, but they were not given the large print reporting. Here goes:
“Is this seat taken?”, he asked pointing to the vacant chair next to her. She then went into a tirade and threatened to kill him. This by itself would be ludicrous but it happened to a man while attending an anger management group in Indiana. Good thing he asked before sitting, otherwise she might have acted without giving him warning and just imagine if he had asked for her phone number! Ka-Pow!! One would safely surmise that she is single and lives alone with a pet gargoyle.
Then there was this guy with two prosthetic legs exiting a Chicago lounge after having one too many who offered to give a ride home to a deaf man whose speech he couldn't understand. After many miles and seemingly not getting any closer to the deaf man’s home the driver attempted to drop the man off at a county airport. They were “debating”, as best they could, the situation outside of the car whereupon the frustrated hearing impaired man knocked down the handicapped driver. Someone called 911. Police came. The officer wrote on his note to the hitter that he was under arrest for battery and arrested the hitee on a DUI. The driver might have appealed the charge, but personally I don't think he had a leg to stand on.
Thousands of wild parrots are roosting in Pomona Valley in Southern Calif.. These birds are native to tropical northeast Mexico and may be here illegally but here they nest nevertheless. The residents are complaining that they are loud and make for sleepless nights. Add to the fact that they live for 30-40 years and you have a plot right out of Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds”. I guess no one in town dare ask, “Polly want a cracker?” for fear of being pecked to death.
It’s winter in Maine and yet the lakes and ponds on Bar Harbor remained virtually ice-free through December, which is highly unusual. Is Al Gore right about the theory of global warming? Or is it that the rain in Maine stayed mainly as the rain?
The lighted Christmas display in Kenosha, Wis, spelled out “Melissa will you marry me?”. It was the unique proposal that Brian knew would get Melissa to say “Yes”, and it worked. But it is rumored that good old innovative Santa had used a similar device to get Mrs. Claus’ acquiescence many years ago, before the advent of electric lights. Except he spelled out his request with reindeer droppings in the snow.
The man was just trying to be friendly to the panda in the Beijing zoo but the alcohol on his breath may have triggered GuGu to bite him on the leg when he jumped the enclosure and startled the animal awake. The would-be petter then bit the panda on the fuzzy back . Gu Gu countered by biting his other leg. Call it a draw as the zoo keeper ended the bout by spraying water on the panda. A zoo spokeswoman affirmed Gu Gu’s health and said they would not press charges. Which begs the question: could the offender have been charged with pandering and the zoo thus be given a black eye?
We look forward to more zany news in 2007. Happy New Year.
Three word result
Several weeks ago we reported on an NPR survey which asked : How would you describe America in three words? We requested reader three word input. Responses came from Florida to Alaska, thank you for taking the time to answer. Bear in mind that no statistical accuracy is claimed. The results:
Free (3) proud (2) beautiful (2) naive (2) . One for each of the following:
Self absorbed - self righteous - hypocritical - innovative - generous - humorous - happy- over indulgent - diverse - economically imbalanced - decent -courageous - enterprising - opportunity - stability- opportunistic- indifferent- misdirected - apathetic - misinformed - greedy - fabulous - blessed - endangered - corrupt- disenchanted
Some sent 3 word phrases: country of freedom - best there is - my own country - the very best - speak my mind - full of promise . And one reader contributed oxymoron: individual rights .
Which all goes to show what a free, proud, and beautifully naive people we are. God bless us, everyone.
END
Saturday, December 23, 2006
12/23/06
Miracles 101
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
At this time of year we hear of Christmas miracles. Positive outcomes from dire situations with unaccounted explanations as to how they occurred. Credit a higher power or just plain luck for the intervention, however they occurred; but there are those who can attribute their own "miracle" to their own effort or being in the right place at the right time. Here are a few examples.
Henrico Frank was a 37 year old construction worker unemployed for the last six years in Germany, which has four million unemployed (almost 10 percent). The mall at Christmas time in Wiesbaden was busy as he strolled through, " wearing grubby clothes, a pair of nose rings and a thatch of partially bleached, punk-inspired hair." He happened to see the chairman of the Social Democratic Party , Kurt Beck, who was then berated by Frank for the failure of economic reforms to help people like himself to find work and have a better life. Beck responded, "If you would just wash and shave, you'd find a job, too."Two days later Frank called a news conference. He had a different look. A trim haircut, clean shaven, no nose rings. "I am ready to change," the newly chiseled Frank stated, "I’ll take any job." The media picked up on it and he stepped into his 15 minutes of fame as he became the main news feature and his before-and-after makeover photos appeared on front pages. Beck now plans to present Frank with several job offers.
Yu Minhong taught English at Beijing University but he quit this secure position and started up a business to help students develop their English skills. Since then he has helped hundreds of thousands of Chinese students get into U.S. universities."The company, New Oriental Education and Technology Group, was listed on the New York Stock Exchange in September, the first private education company to achieve this feat. Yu is thought to be China's richest teacher with about 2 billion yuan (250 million U.S. dollars) of assets." states the Guangzhou web site.It was no easy road for Yu. His father was a peasant and carpenter and Yu watched him collect bits of waste brick and stones and stack them up in the small courtyard of their rural home. Slowly Yu saw his father transform the stones into a small pen to shut in the pigs, hens and ducks. At that time, his family could not afford to buy bricks. He remembers his father telling him, "If a pyramid was dismantled, it would just be a pile of stones. If you live your life without an aim, it's just a heap of days." His father's patient stone-piling lesson had tremendous influence and today Yu's company no longer only teaches English. His business has extended to other foreign language training, preparing students for tests, primary and secondary school education and software as well as on-line education. In 1993, New Oriental had only 30 students today it is China's largest private education service provider with more than three million student enrollments. There is a network of 25 schools and 111 learning centers in 24 cities, an on-line network that has attracted 2 million registered users. Clearly, teaching English can make people rich in China.
She was just 21 when Lisa Renshaw offered to work for free, in exchange for equity, to the owner of a troubled downtown Baltimore parking lot . The owner left town soon after, taking the loan of $3,000 that Renshaw had taken out in her name. She stayed, renegotiated the lease, and bargained to lower the monthly payments in order to achieve breaking even.She built the business by greeting customers daily, handing out fliers, promoting heavily to Amtrak riders who used a nearby station, offering carpooling assistance, and giving free car washes to anyone who parked in her lot for five days. The lot's occupancy rate increased from less than 10% to more than 70% in three years. Of late she employed 300 people, with 68 garages and parking lots, and generating $28 million in annual revenues.This is the same gutsy lady who lived in a 10 x 12 foot room for three and a half years while she built her parking garage into a respectable business.
The people above achieved their goals by taking it upon themselves to create their own destiny. Devine intervention is most welcome and appreciated at any time but a little self initiative and a lot of "stick- to- it-tivity" goes a long way. So while you wait for help from Clarence, Angel-second class, as did Jimmie Stewart in "It’s A Wonderful Life", you may want to give those bootstraps a yank.
End
Miracles 101
Tri-O's oddities, observations, and opinions
by Herb Kandel
At this time of year we hear of Christmas miracles. Positive outcomes from dire situations with unaccounted explanations as to how they occurred. Credit a higher power or just plain luck for the intervention, however they occurred; but there are those who can attribute their own "miracle" to their own effort or being in the right place at the right time. Here are a few examples.
Henrico Frank was a 37 year old construction worker unemployed for the last six years in Germany, which has four million unemployed (almost 10 percent). The mall at Christmas time in Wiesbaden was busy as he strolled through, " wearing grubby clothes, a pair of nose rings and a thatch of partially bleached, punk-inspired hair." He happened to see the chairman of the Social Democratic Party , Kurt Beck, who was then berated by Frank for the failure of economic reforms to help people like himself to find work and have a better life. Beck responded, "If you would just wash and shave, you'd find a job, too."Two days later Frank called a news conference. He had a different look. A trim haircut, clean shaven, no nose rings. "I am ready to change," the newly chiseled Frank stated, "I’ll take any job." The media picked up on it and he stepped into his 15 minutes of fame as he became the main news feature and his before-and-after makeover photos appeared on front pages. Beck now plans to present Frank with several job offers.
Yu Minhong taught English at Beijing University but he quit this secure position and started up a business to help students develop their English skills. Since then he has helped hundreds of thousands of Chinese students get into U.S. universities."The company, New Oriental Education and Technology Group, was listed on the New York Stock Exchange in September, the first private education company to achieve this feat. Yu is thought to be China's richest teacher with about 2 billion yuan (250 million U.S. dollars) of assets." states the Guangzhou web site.It was no easy road for Yu. His father was a peasant and carpenter and Yu watched him collect bits of waste brick and stones and stack them up in the small courtyard of their rural home. Slowly Yu saw his father transform the stones into a small pen to shut in the pigs, hens and ducks. At that time, his family could not afford to buy bricks. He remembers his father telling him, "If a pyramid was dismantled, it would just be a pile of stones. If you live your life without an aim, it's just a heap of days." His father's patient stone-piling lesson had tremendous influence and today Yu's company no longer only teaches English. His business has extended to other foreign language training, preparing students for tests, primary and secondary school education and software as well as on-line education. In 1993, New Oriental had only 30 students today it is China's largest private education service provider with more than three million student enrollments. There is a network of 25 schools and 111 learning centers in 24 cities, an on-line network that has attracted 2 million registered users. Clearly, teaching English can make people rich in China.
She was just 21 when Lisa Renshaw offered to work for free, in exchange for equity, to the owner of a troubled downtown Baltimore parking lot . The owner left town soon after, taking the loan of $3,000 that Renshaw had taken out in her name. She stayed, renegotiated the lease, and bargained to lower the monthly payments in order to achieve breaking even.She built the business by greeting customers daily, handing out fliers, promoting heavily to Amtrak riders who used a nearby station, offering carpooling assistance, and giving free car washes to anyone who parked in her lot for five days. The lot's occupancy rate increased from less than 10% to more than 70% in three years. Of late she employed 300 people, with 68 garages and parking lots, and generating $28 million in annual revenues.This is the same gutsy lady who lived in a 10 x 12 foot room for three and a half years while she built her parking garage into a respectable business.
The people above achieved their goals by taking it upon themselves to create their own destiny. Devine intervention is most welcome and appreciated at any time but a little self initiative and a lot of "stick- to- it-tivity" goes a long way. So while you wait for help from Clarence, Angel-second class, as did Jimmie Stewart in "It’s A Wonderful Life", you may want to give those bootstraps a yank.
End
Thursday, December 14, 2006
12/8/06
Autumn’s eve thoughts on words
By Herb Kandel
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
Autumn’s eve thoughts on words
Three Little Big Words
On a Public Broadcast Service web site called P.O.V. (Point of View) they posed the question “How would you describe America in three words?” to people both here and from around the globe. There was no claim to scientific accuracy in the survey. The answers were somewhat surprising, reassuring, and in several, disturbing. Similar to looking into a mirror then seeing that zit on your cheek was more prominent than you thought, but on the other hand you're having a good hair day. Here are the top 10 of what that particular mirror reflected in describing America - #10 Proud #9 Materialistic #8 (tie) Independent/Naïve #7 Powerful #6 Opportunity #5 Greedy #4 Arrogant #3 Diverse #2 Freedom (combined with Free) and at #1 (bugle sound ….. ta-dah) Ignorant. So it looks like we, as a nation, are envisioned as a bunch of unaware dummies of assorted ethnicities who seek more “stuff” and flaunt our possessions because we have the power, chance and freedom to do so.
There is probably a smattering of truth in the descriptions as there is in any stereotyping but it seems that the overall concept has a suspicious tinge of envy with too loud a protest. If we are as appalling as 4 of the indicators portray us to be, why are so many seeking entry here? Is it because of the other 6, with freedom and opportunity in the forefront? I daresay “You got it.“
Had they asked me for my three words I would have suggested trustworthy, compassionate, and honorable. The Yiddish word “mensch”, that has migrated into everyday speech, encapsulates those, and similar type virtues. According to Leo Rosten, author of The Joys of Yiddish “[A] mensch is a someone to admire and emulate, someone of noble character. The key to being "a real mensch" is nothing less than character, rectitude, dignity, a sense of what is right, responsible, decorous.”
What would your three words be? Think about it and send me your choices with “3 words“ in the subject field*. The results will be tallied and reported..
World word replication?
In line with world perception of the U.S., The Guardian in the UK did a survey of 10 countries. One question asked was “Overall do you have a favourable [sic] or unfavourable [sic] opinion of Americans?” Favorable with 81% was Israel, 74% Japan, 73% Canada---- the bottom three who considered us unfavorably were Mexico 43%, Spain 32%, and South Korea 30%. To the question “By its actions, does the United States contribute to world peace?” The top three with a “Yes” were Mexico 63%, Israel 61%, Russia 48%---- the “No”’s were Japan 53%, Canada 52%, and South Korea 49%
Those statistics cause me to scratch my head. Some countries see us favorably and at the same time say that we do not contribute to world peace. That is about as divisive as was the campaign ads in the last election. Are they saying our intentions are noble but our means in achieving them is perverse? Or are these findings just an echoing of what we are experiencing here in the U.S., i.e., difference of opinions which led to the turnover of the congressional leadership? As in the song “We are the world , we are the people” conversely “We are the people, we are the world”. Therefore what the administration and its adversaries are pondering is the equivalent of what other countries are troubled about also. So it seems that how the world perceives us is the extrapolation of what we ourselves are experiencing here.
Redundant Words
Sometimes my hearing “envisions” speech as if it was monitoring an oscilloscope. There are familiar patterns that go along in normal sequences and then up pops a blip. Several months ago I vented about how the word “like” has insidiously burrowed its way into the vocabularies of teen-angers and celebrities. Every time the word is used the glitch spikes. It was mentioned then that the consistent use of the word renders the conversation trite, and downright boring.
Now my blips are occurring with more frequency and I seem to see the sheep are in the herding process again with a new word.. Have you noticed (heard) how “really” comes into speech patterns more and more ? If you listen you will hear “It really is” and it's counterparts making more inroads into everyday language. It is as if you have to insert “really” into a statement to give it an endorsement or an affirmation that what is said is verifiable and without question accurate. I recall the admonition to take as less than gospel anything that follows “To tell you the truth……….” .
So, like, remember your hearing it here, like, on the cutting edge. You really are!
* hekan@mail.com
END
Autumn’s eve thoughts on words
By Herb Kandel
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
Autumn’s eve thoughts on words
Three Little Big Words
On a Public Broadcast Service web site called P.O.V. (Point of View) they posed the question “How would you describe America in three words?” to people both here and from around the globe. There was no claim to scientific accuracy in the survey. The answers were somewhat surprising, reassuring, and in several, disturbing. Similar to looking into a mirror then seeing that zit on your cheek was more prominent than you thought, but on the other hand you're having a good hair day. Here are the top 10 of what that particular mirror reflected in describing America - #10 Proud #9 Materialistic #8 (tie) Independent/Naïve #7 Powerful #6 Opportunity #5 Greedy #4 Arrogant #3 Diverse #2 Freedom (combined with Free) and at #1 (bugle sound ….. ta-dah) Ignorant. So it looks like we, as a nation, are envisioned as a bunch of unaware dummies of assorted ethnicities who seek more “stuff” and flaunt our possessions because we have the power, chance and freedom to do so.
There is probably a smattering of truth in the descriptions as there is in any stereotyping but it seems that the overall concept has a suspicious tinge of envy with too loud a protest. If we are as appalling as 4 of the indicators portray us to be, why are so many seeking entry here? Is it because of the other 6, with freedom and opportunity in the forefront? I daresay “You got it.“
Had they asked me for my three words I would have suggested trustworthy, compassionate, and honorable. The Yiddish word “mensch”, that has migrated into everyday speech, encapsulates those, and similar type virtues. According to Leo Rosten, author of The Joys of Yiddish “[A] mensch is a someone to admire and emulate, someone of noble character. The key to being "a real mensch" is nothing less than character, rectitude, dignity, a sense of what is right, responsible, decorous.”
What would your three words be? Think about it and send me your choices with “3 words“ in the subject field*. The results will be tallied and reported..
World word replication?
In line with world perception of the U.S., The Guardian in the UK did a survey of 10 countries. One question asked was “Overall do you have a favourable [sic] or unfavourable [sic] opinion of Americans?” Favorable with 81% was Israel, 74% Japan, 73% Canada---- the bottom three who considered us unfavorably were Mexico 43%, Spain 32%, and South Korea 30%. To the question “By its actions, does the United States contribute to world peace?” The top three with a “Yes” were Mexico 63%, Israel 61%, Russia 48%---- the “No”’s were Japan 53%, Canada 52%, and South Korea 49%
Those statistics cause me to scratch my head. Some countries see us favorably and at the same time say that we do not contribute to world peace. That is about as divisive as was the campaign ads in the last election. Are they saying our intentions are noble but our means in achieving them is perverse? Or are these findings just an echoing of what we are experiencing here in the U.S., i.e., difference of opinions which led to the turnover of the congressional leadership? As in the song “We are the world , we are the people” conversely “We are the people, we are the world”. Therefore what the administration and its adversaries are pondering is the equivalent of what other countries are troubled about also. So it seems that how the world perceives us is the extrapolation of what we ourselves are experiencing here.
Redundant Words
Sometimes my hearing “envisions” speech as if it was monitoring an oscilloscope. There are familiar patterns that go along in normal sequences and then up pops a blip. Several months ago I vented about how the word “like” has insidiously burrowed its way into the vocabularies of teen-angers and celebrities. Every time the word is used the glitch spikes. It was mentioned then that the consistent use of the word renders the conversation trite, and downright boring.
Now my blips are occurring with more frequency and I seem to see the sheep are in the herding process again with a new word.. Have you noticed (heard) how “really” comes into speech patterns more and more ? If you listen you will hear “It really is” and it's counterparts making more inroads into everyday language. It is as if you have to insert “really” into a statement to give it an endorsement or an affirmation that what is said is verifiable and without question accurate. I recall the admonition to take as less than gospel anything that follows “To tell you the truth……….” .
So, like, remember your hearing it here, like, on the cutting edge. You really are!
* hekan@mail.com
END
Saturday, December 02, 2006
11/22/06
A Modest Proposal, Mon Cher
A Modest Proposal, Mon Cher
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
Well it’s happened. And now that it has we can predict with more certainty that the world as we have known it is changing, and it is probably not for the better. But wait, there may yet be some hope.
I’m referring to what happened in Paris, France last week and last year. There was just 1,188 kissers who showed up this past Thursday to try to break the Guinness World Records for the most people kissing on one place at one moment. It was far short as the record is still held by Budapest, where in 2005 they won it with 11,570 pairs of lips meeting. Or as Ross Perot would say “ Y’all listen to that big sucking sound.”
When the city known universally for romance and truffles loses to the city in which a Hungarian travel channel titled it "Budapest is a riot! That's why we love it!" and goulash, you know you are, as Harold Hill said , “in Trouble …….with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for….” Paris.
This also marks the one-year anniversary of the urban uprising in France. There was a series of riots and violent clashes, involving mainly the burning of cars and public buildings by youth groups. Starting in the Paris area, the unrest subsequently spread to other regions. The violence involved mostly French citizens with North African origins, although not all. These events led to strong debates about integration and discrimination in France. And this past March there was a “strike” by students in the country to protest proposed new legislation that would allow employers to fire people, under the age of 26, who were on the job during the first two years .
What, you might ask, do these two seemingly non-related events have to do with each other and what is the glimmer of hope that was mentioned? Bear with me.
The reports state the arson, car burnings, and other attacks so far seem to be centered in Muslim and African communities. In September 2005, a soaring 21.7% of 15- to 24-year-olds in France were unemployed. And of this it is estimated that 3o-50% in that group is Muslim. According to my math, using a median figure of 40% unemployed, comes to over ¾ of a million Muslims. That, by any standard, is a lot of potential pucker-uppers.
Now supposing these unemployed folks would have all participated in the “kiss-off”. This would mean that some of the Muslim ladies would have to lift the face-covering veil, known as a niqab, and some of the men would do likewise with their ski masks. With all these new pursed lips this mammoth smooch would resonate from the Palais Royal to Place Pigalle and the city would snatch the title back from the Hungarians just as quickly as you could say “Pass the paprika” (and that‘S noting to sneeze at).
With the attention, prominence, and approbation that Paris would receive would come the visitors, tourists, and those vicarious seekers of pleasure who take delight in being where the action was, and hoping for some themselves. I propose the mantra “If you kiss a lot, they will spend”. This great influx of sightseers would require more people to handle all the necessary work involved. Think of all the employment opportunities this new burgeoning market would require… travel agents; transportation; hospitality; food production, preparation, and serving; accounting; advertising; security; sanitation; entertainment; lip balm; to say nothing of health care (the BBC reports “ well over 5 million bacteria are exchanged in one long, lingering passionate kiss”), and the list goes on.
There, my friends, is a simple solution to a situation requiring no G8 summit conference. Think of it……..the simplicity of a kiss to change a whole economy and lead to social reform. So simple, it’s origin according to one version, comes from the transfer of pre-chewed food from a mother to her baby in primitive times and later to adults. The Indian culture believed there was a joining of souls when two people exchanged exhaled breath. And the Ingrid Bergman theory, "a kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous".
Regardless of how it came about the kiss is here to stay. So all the French government has to do is ask their citizens , “ Can’t we all just kiss together?”. And to propose to the Muslim community ( apologies to Oscar Hammerstein) “ditch that mask and lift that veil, you’ll get a lot of work and there’ll be no bail”. For without a coming together , France will become a playground for only the very well-to-do, where the biggest growth industries will be security and the Gendarmes.
END
Friday, November 03, 2006
11/1/06
In Praise of the Good and Long Lasting
By Herb Kandel
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
In these days of IM (instant messaging), instant phone photos, instant online streaming, instant coffee, and the sought after instant gratification, it seems that we should pull in the reins of the stop watch and savor a few of the everyday, taken-for-granted, quality products that we benefit from. These may not be world shaking item recognitions, but they have made life easier, safer, more productive, and palatable.
I don’t remember the last time I bought a styptic pencil. Perhaps 20 years ago, or I may be using the same one my father had. This is the handy dandy item that staunch the bleeding when you get a "gotcha‘" nick while shaving. This small white cylinder of aluminum sulfate that is so inexpensive and does what it was made to do is a product worthy of mention. How the manufacturers remain in business is a mystery, as they last so long. Their only detractor seems to be Dracula.
Think about the simplicity of the paper clip. Yes, that bent piece of wire that grips several sheets of paper together . Did you know that before the paper clip was invented by a Norwegian in 1899, straight pins were being sold by the half pound for the explicit purpose of temporarily fastening pages . Ouch!!
Speaking of wire.....the shaped wire coat hanger performs it’s intended purpose masterfully. Before the hanger was invented, in 1903, there was the wall hook or wooden peg, which eventually stretched and distorted the garment that was hung from it. And I wonder how many car doors that this device has opened, used as a TV antenna, to roast marshmallows, to reach anything unreachable, and the list goes on and on.
Sara Lee Pound Cake is still a treasure that never fails to please. A consistent quality product which you can count on plain, toasted, or as French toast.
Many years ago I bought a white nylon comb from the Fuller Brush man. The comb has served me well as it segued from brown thick locks to sparse gray on this head. Fuller products were known for being pricey but their quality more than made up for it in their dependability and longevity. Although I have not seen a door-to-door Fuller Brush person in decades I am glad to see that they are still available online.
I don’t know how many times have I dropped my Sony Walkman, but when it happened I was not concerned that it would shatter. It has withstood a lot of sudden floor and sidewalk contact. I wonder if the iPod can do that well? So play it again, Sam.
Ever own a Cross pen or pencil? They will repair or replace them for free as long as you own them. This policy was tested recently when a 20 year old pen was sent to them for repair and returned in tip-top shape. Write on!
When I was growing up there seemed to be a shoe repair shop every few blocks. Of late that trade has almost, but not quite, gone the way of buggy whips. One of the reasons is the Birkenstock line of foot wear. They seem to wear like iron and yet remain comfortable. Johann Adam Birkenstock cobbled his shoes in Germany in the late 1700's. His shoes were designed so that they would follow the shape of the persons feet, so he contoured them to do just that. Though they have industrialized the manufacturing they still maintain the quality of the product sculpted by the originator using his hand tools. To paraphrase the motto on the historic flag, "Please Tread On Me" should be their slogan.
The year was 1896 and Austrian immigrant Leo Hirshfield stirs his batch of chocolatey, chewy candy, which he names after his five-year-old daughter, Clara, whose nickname is "Tootsie". It was the first penny candy to be individually wrapped in paper. In 110 years it is reported that it still looks and tastes astoundingly like the first Tootsie Roll, and even more unbelievable it still sells for about the same price. The company produces more than sixty two million per day. How sweet it is!!
The next time you use a zipper or can opener, taste peanut butter or an ice cream cone, wear Levi’s jeans or L.L. Bean boots, think of what you might have missed had not someone of integrity sought a better way to accomplish that task which is now such a part of everyday living comfort. So here is a nod of thanks to those folks for the things we take for granted being well made, long lasting, and for contributing to our well being.
END
In Praise of the Good and Long Lasting
By Herb Kandel
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
In these days of IM (instant messaging), instant phone photos, instant online streaming, instant coffee, and the sought after instant gratification, it seems that we should pull in the reins of the stop watch and savor a few of the everyday, taken-for-granted, quality products that we benefit from. These may not be world shaking item recognitions, but they have made life easier, safer, more productive, and palatable.
I don’t remember the last time I bought a styptic pencil. Perhaps 20 years ago, or I may be using the same one my father had. This is the handy dandy item that staunch the bleeding when you get a "gotcha‘" nick while shaving. This small white cylinder of aluminum sulfate that is so inexpensive and does what it was made to do is a product worthy of mention. How the manufacturers remain in business is a mystery, as they last so long. Their only detractor seems to be Dracula.
Think about the simplicity of the paper clip. Yes, that bent piece of wire that grips several sheets of paper together . Did you know that before the paper clip was invented by a Norwegian in 1899, straight pins were being sold by the half pound for the explicit purpose of temporarily fastening pages . Ouch!!
Speaking of wire.....the shaped wire coat hanger performs it’s intended purpose masterfully. Before the hanger was invented, in 1903, there was the wall hook or wooden peg, which eventually stretched and distorted the garment that was hung from it. And I wonder how many car doors that this device has opened, used as a TV antenna, to roast marshmallows, to reach anything unreachable, and the list goes on and on.
Sara Lee Pound Cake is still a treasure that never fails to please. A consistent quality product which you can count on plain, toasted, or as French toast.
Many years ago I bought a white nylon comb from the Fuller Brush man. The comb has served me well as it segued from brown thick locks to sparse gray on this head. Fuller products were known for being pricey but their quality more than made up for it in their dependability and longevity. Although I have not seen a door-to-door Fuller Brush person in decades I am glad to see that they are still available online.
I don’t know how many times have I dropped my Sony Walkman, but when it happened I was not concerned that it would shatter. It has withstood a lot of sudden floor and sidewalk contact. I wonder if the iPod can do that well? So play it again, Sam.
Ever own a Cross pen or pencil? They will repair or replace them for free as long as you own them. This policy was tested recently when a 20 year old pen was sent to them for repair and returned in tip-top shape. Write on!
When I was growing up there seemed to be a shoe repair shop every few blocks. Of late that trade has almost, but not quite, gone the way of buggy whips. One of the reasons is the Birkenstock line of foot wear. They seem to wear like iron and yet remain comfortable. Johann Adam Birkenstock cobbled his shoes in Germany in the late 1700's. His shoes were designed so that they would follow the shape of the persons feet, so he contoured them to do just that. Though they have industrialized the manufacturing they still maintain the quality of the product sculpted by the originator using his hand tools. To paraphrase the motto on the historic flag, "Please Tread On Me" should be their slogan.
The year was 1896 and Austrian immigrant Leo Hirshfield stirs his batch of chocolatey, chewy candy, which he names after his five-year-old daughter, Clara, whose nickname is "Tootsie". It was the first penny candy to be individually wrapped in paper. In 110 years it is reported that it still looks and tastes astoundingly like the first Tootsie Roll, and even more unbelievable it still sells for about the same price. The company produces more than sixty two million per day. How sweet it is!!
The next time you use a zipper or can opener, taste peanut butter or an ice cream cone, wear Levi’s jeans or L.L. Bean boots, think of what you might have missed had not someone of integrity sought a better way to accomplish that task which is now such a part of everyday living comfort. So here is a nod of thanks to those folks for the things we take for granted being well made, long lasting, and for contributing to our well being.
END
Thursday, October 19, 2006
10/18/06
Where have all the funnies gone?
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
One of the joys while growing up was the anticipation every Sunday of reading the “funny pages” of the newspaper. Those Technicolor panels had a life of their own. I was reminded of that time recently.
This past October 4th marked a milestone event, Dick Tracy, the comic strip, turned 75. This staunch defender of the people whose jutting square jaw and broken nose, resembling a numeral “7”, is really older. When first drawn by Chester Gould in 1931 Tracy was a 34 year old bachelor, which would really makes him over 109 years old today. Gould retired in 1977, and died in 1985. The strip is now created by Dick Locher and Michael Kilian but it has much less newspaper syndication. A quick précis of our hero follows.
Tracy became a detective in order to avenge the kidnapping of Tess Trueheart (who became his wife in 1949) and the killing of her father. Gould’s was the first comic strip to approach crime, violence, justice and morality by using news “ripped from the headlines”. Along the way he introduced memorable villains. Those of a certain age will recall his side-show of those characters, among them The Brow, The Blank, Mr. And Mrs. Pruneface, Mole, B.B. Eyes, Little Face, Measels, Mumbles, Flattop, Flyface, Lispy, and in 1977, (gasp) Heroin Herbert .
Gould let us meet Gravel Gerty and B.O. Plenty who were the parents of the beautifully mutated Sparkle Plenty (which spawned a best selling line of dolls 12 years before Barbie). The capitalist Diet Smith gave Tracy the two-way wrist radio in 1946 (that was the first “can you hear me now?“ ) which later was replaced by a wrist-TV and then again into a computer; in 1947 Tracy wore a miniature camera as a ring.
Tracy was parodied by Al Capp in “Li’l Abner”. Abner was a hero-worshipper of Tracy-like “Fearless Fosdick” thus becoming a comic strip within a comic strip (more about Abner below).
Tracy became a grandfather when Sparkle Plenty Jr. Was born in 1988, she is the daughter of Junior Tracy‘S and his second wife, Sparkle Plenty. In 1994 Tess and Tracy were heading toward splitsville but they subsequently reconciled and in 1999 they celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. The crusader is still perusing thugs and justice for all.
The aforementioned “L’il Abner” strip showed a lovable, naïve, muscled, good natured hillbilly, Abner Yokum, always trying to evade the marital intentions of the beautiful, faithful and blouse stretching Daisy Mae. Capp invented the city of Dogpatch and a cast of memorable characters such as Marryin' Sam, Wolf Gal, Lena the Hyena, Indian Lonesome Polecat, Moonbeam McSwine, Stupefyin' Jones, Appassionata von Climax, and Sadie Hawkins . He also created the Shmoo which posed a threat to the world economy as they need only air as sustenance, they craved to be eaten ( fried they tasted like chicken , roasted like beef, raw like oysters). They also produced eggs, milk, butter, leather, buttons, and timber. They were ideal playmates for young children and the most perfect subsistence creature . So who needed to work?
Those two were my favorites but there were others whose adventures I followed as I entered their world. “Terry and the Pirates” took us to the intriguing Far East and the sinister (but later ally) The Dragon Lady. Milton Caniff , Terry’s artist, later created Steve Canyon. “Smilin’ Jack” was the mustached daredevil pilot who had as a sidekick Fatstuff, his Hawaiian friend who always popped his shirt buttons (usually into the gaping mouths of chickens). There was the chinless “Andy Gump” (no relation to Forrest) and his family which faced everyday quandaries as did Uncle Walt and Skeezix in “Gasoline Alley”, these were some of the first comic strip soap operas. “Henry” was a young, bald, very precocious boy who went though all the panels in pantomime, the same as the portly “The Little King”. “Prince Valiant” took us to the days of King Arthur and to a fantasy world of castles, witches, battles, and chivalry all in rich artistry and blazing colors. Walt Kelly’s “Pogo” was a joke a day while “Little Orphan Annie” fought political battles, never changing her red dress or having eye pupils.
So I ask again, Where have all the funnies gone? And answer:
All my above friends have been deferred to another place , but not forgotten. Just as Little Jackie Paper in the land of Hanah Lee, we put aside the “painted wings and giant rings”. Yet they linger lastingly in the folds of our memories ..….and for sale on the pages of eBay.
END
Where have all the funnies gone?
Tri-O's Oddities, observations, and opinions
By Herb Kandel
One of the joys while growing up was the anticipation every Sunday of reading the “funny pages” of the newspaper. Those Technicolor panels had a life of their own. I was reminded of that time recently.
This past October 4th marked a milestone event, Dick Tracy, the comic strip, turned 75. This staunch defender of the people whose jutting square jaw and broken nose, resembling a numeral “7”, is really older. When first drawn by Chester Gould in 1931 Tracy was a 34 year old bachelor, which would really makes him over 109 years old today. Gould retired in 1977, and died in 1985. The strip is now created by Dick Locher and Michael Kilian but it has much less newspaper syndication. A quick précis of our hero follows.
Tracy became a detective in order to avenge the kidnapping of Tess Trueheart (who became his wife in 1949) and the killing of her father. Gould’s was the first comic strip to approach crime, violence, justice and morality by using news “ripped from the headlines”. Along the way he introduced memorable villains. Those of a certain age will recall his side-show of those characters, among them The Brow, The Blank, Mr. And Mrs. Pruneface, Mole, B.B. Eyes, Little Face, Measels, Mumbles, Flattop, Flyface, Lispy, and in 1977, (gasp) Heroin Herbert .
Gould let us meet Gravel Gerty and B.O. Plenty who were the parents of the beautifully mutated Sparkle Plenty (which spawned a best selling line of dolls 12 years before Barbie). The capitalist Diet Smith gave Tracy the two-way wrist radio in 1946 (that was the first “can you hear me now?“ ) which later was replaced by a wrist-TV and then again into a computer; in 1947 Tracy wore a miniature camera as a ring.
Tracy was parodied by Al Capp in “Li’l Abner”. Abner was a hero-worshipper of Tracy-like “Fearless Fosdick” thus becoming a comic strip within a comic strip (more about Abner below).
Tracy became a grandfather when Sparkle Plenty Jr. Was born in 1988, she is the daughter of Junior Tracy‘S and his second wife, Sparkle Plenty. In 1994 Tess and Tracy were heading toward splitsville but they subsequently reconciled and in 1999 they celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. The crusader is still perusing thugs and justice for all.
The aforementioned “L’il Abner” strip showed a lovable, naïve, muscled, good natured hillbilly, Abner Yokum, always trying to evade the marital intentions of the beautiful, faithful and blouse stretching Daisy Mae. Capp invented the city of Dogpatch and a cast of memorable characters such as Marryin' Sam, Wolf Gal, Lena the Hyena, Indian Lonesome Polecat, Moonbeam McSwine, Stupefyin' Jones, Appassionata von Climax, and Sadie Hawkins . He also created the Shmoo which posed a threat to the world economy as they need only air as sustenance, they craved to be eaten ( fried they tasted like chicken , roasted like beef, raw like oysters). They also produced eggs, milk, butter, leather, buttons, and timber. They were ideal playmates for young children and the most perfect subsistence creature . So who needed to work?
Those two were my favorites but there were others whose adventures I followed as I entered their world. “Terry and the Pirates” took us to the intriguing Far East and the sinister (but later ally) The Dragon Lady. Milton Caniff , Terry’s artist, later created Steve Canyon. “Smilin’ Jack” was the mustached daredevil pilot who had as a sidekick Fatstuff, his Hawaiian friend who always popped his shirt buttons (usually into the gaping mouths of chickens). There was the chinless “Andy Gump” (no relation to Forrest) and his family which faced everyday quandaries as did Uncle Walt and Skeezix in “Gasoline Alley”, these were some of the first comic strip soap operas. “Henry” was a young, bald, very precocious boy who went though all the panels in pantomime, the same as the portly “The Little King”. “Prince Valiant” took us to the days of King Arthur and to a fantasy world of castles, witches, battles, and chivalry all in rich artistry and blazing colors. Walt Kelly’s “Pogo” was a joke a day while “Little Orphan Annie” fought political battles, never changing her red dress or having eye pupils.
So I ask again, Where have all the funnies gone? And answer:
All my above friends have been deferred to another place , but not forgotten. Just as Little Jackie Paper in the land of Hanah Lee, we put aside the “painted wings and giant rings”. Yet they linger lastingly in the folds of our memories ..….and for sale on the pages of eBay.
END
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